Disruptive by Choice

I’m in dire need I’ve starved And I'm ready to feed

Bring on the creativity Push to start, I'm driven

I isolate on purpose, it's where magic ignites below surface

I’m in my zone When conquering alone Success feels best when nobody knows

I work hard on my own I fight tooth and nail To never give up Even if i fail

I conquer and defeat You can be my guest, take a seat

Watch me drive as I come up, feeling alive

This isn't a lie I've got the grind I can't be stopped

You might think I’m a lot But it's a mindset of passion And with it, I'm always the champion

I'm headed for the top I promise, I'm the cream of the crop

Wait and you'll see just how I thrive

Grandma, you are my honeybee; always a delight to visit with and see your personality shines in gorgeous vibrancies You are a bumble of fun, jokes and perfection, you're always number 1

Grandma, you are my honeybee; always reminding me to stand tall, shoulders width apart, and wear my head proud For even when I fail, I have the chance to restart I just have to believe, and imagine with my heart

Grandma, You are my honeybee; you pray for my wounds, my heartaches and my past, but are quick to remind me how trials always pass, feeling weak never lasts but strong people do So, you tell me to "never give up on the person, that is you"

Something that tells me

I'm still breathing;

Even when the resuscitator 

Has broke

that continue to confuse

but really

its just a bomb, 

i’m trying to diffuse

because to let go,

i might just burst

burst from the pain,

Let me rest in peace Have my demons leave So I can quit the costs of all the things I’ve lost Dangle me from a rope No more false hope Let my limbs hang Suffocate me beneath my pillow seams Tell me its the day I get to live out my dreams Just to have it ripped out from under me Choke me with your words Then say, “poor innocent girl” Take my breath away And don’t tell me It’ll come back another day Lay me out to sea With rocks tied below my knees Let me drown Stuck to the ocean ground Bury me under a church hall Let my body rot Then tell everyone, “I meant a lot” Just so I can stop living the hell you brought Kill me in my sleep So I don’t have to live Another false reality Let me go with peace So I can be free; I fear its the only way I’ll get to be me

RIP

One day

but surely,

That did fade

I gave up

And the cheers stopped

but today,

I know that one more day

is how i keep what i have

it's a life's work

and I can't be led astray

Today,

Tangled in bed sheets Beneath pillow seams Are talks of nightmares And forgotten dreams

delicacies

intimate conversations become role plays by touch and sensations do you dare?

infatuations

Legs sprawled in a mess Yours in mine talk less Rip the bedding tucked

Undress your body A sensual fuck Make me a mess with slight ease

i'll be spilling out, begging on my knees karma sutra

get tangled up in me with my legs sprawled dick, please

chills burying my bones Pillow talk Turned to sweet moans

Found me slick with your cock Pearls on my neck Lipstick kisses & skin bitten leaving marks on hotel linens

I’m only yours And you’re my only

Just for tonight,

Aim for the moon

And shine like the sun

Fighting the nightmares

songs sing in the night a sweet tune of pure delight

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to be unafraid and brave

to have butterflies

dripping from eyes

memories flash by so quickly rather the time dissipates, until it's gone and stained in places you had long forgotten;

distant and mundane

you can almost touch it but it fades away, right in the grasps of things that betray;

a love learned the hard way

like finding an old photo in a shoebox scented with cologne a 4x6 canvas painted with memory;

emotion captured vacantly

photos become memoirs felt like a scar a permanent reminder always remembered;

but never felt fully there

letters become mail never sent with words never said and lipstick marks faded and pale;

But beneath the envelope

the words are there, they're all written memories that could have been memories that were;

ones that are happening

filling in the blanks with risks we didn't take memories we never made and times that never stayed;

like a burned out star

we treasure keepsakes for tears to stain blurring the memories and written letterings

learning one thing;

time is worth everything

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