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the worst part about grief is that it feels like the world should be horrendously earth shatteringly changed, and to an extent it IS but its also the same. to everyone else it's just another tuesday. the world moves on. you have to go grocery shopping.

what a beautiful feeling it is to finally get over someone and realize that it was your adoration of them that made them so special. without that, they’re quite basic. just proof that the magic lives in you, not them.

adult friendships are really anything you need them to be like it doesn’t matter. if you and your friend want to see each other twice a week, that’s cool! if you want to have a standing monthly dinner at a restaurant with a friend, that’s cool! if you see each other once every four months and that’s all you can swing, that’s cool! you’re still friends as long as that’s how you both feel. if you talk twice a year for a good couple of hours, guess what? that’s still cool and you’re still friends if that’s how it feels. there’s no rules. whatever you can give in terms of energy and time is enough to be friends

i will never get over the way time and the environment behaved so differently when i was a kid. a saturday afternoon felt so vast and long. i could get absorbed into the colours and atmosphere of a tv show. even the food was better. even the air

And just like that, I am violently reminded that I am no longer loved by you. Even though it is the only thing I seek.

I spent so much time in my twenties convinced that my life was over, that I somehow ruined it beyond repair, that I was doomed to the life I had and nothing more. and now, in my mid thirties, i’m like wow.. this shit has actually just begun! I can and will create the life I want!

For someone who is tired 100% of the time, I sure am bad at sleeping.