this is a gays only event

There is literally nothing I need to say in this situation.

I am watching and listening, and helping where I can. My opinion is irrelevant in the face of much more difficult things real people are facing.

I've seen many Russians make statements online apologizing on behalf of the country - cursing it, cursing Putin, cursing the government, and tearfully explaining how disgusted they are by it all, and how ashamed they are of being Russian.

I understand the urge, I really do, but the problem is that it ultimately does nothing. No matter how hard you punch yourself, your friend's wounds will not heal. That's not how it works.

At the moment, all anyone can do is:

Listen and read instead of posting - and think critically about which sources you get your news from (US media tends to be sensationalist, and Russia media is largely propaganda). There's also tons of misinformation online, and I've been trying to avoid posting/reblogging anything that I cannot 100% confirm as true.

Help out those directly affected by events - but be mindful of scams! Paypal and venmo is not available in the Ukraine, this is true. BUT - many Ukranians, especially those who have lived or live abroad are able to use it through connecting overseas banks or cards, and they CAN channel that money to family. It's ultimately YOUR responsibility to fact-check this before you reblog anything asking for donations. Be mindful of what you spread.

Keep informed and don't just spread fearmongering images/fatalist threads. Ukranians are currently trying to stay safe. Poland has opened borders to everyone with a Ukranian passport and suspended VISAs, and there is talk of other neighboring countries doing the same. They don't need more tweets about bombings. They don't need your jokes about WWIII and being drafted.

Ultimately I'm taking a seat and doing as much as I can, but the last thing you all need to hear is my casually uninformed opinion - or ANYONE'S uninformed opinion. Tweeting about current events does not make anyone an expert in foreign policy. If you're wondering what you should do - sometimes, the answer is 'nothing'.

i'm gonna start out saying this. i am pan critical. please, if you're pansexual or pro pan, don't stop reading this. just listen for a second, with an open mind. i used to be pansexual, actually, and after that, when i realized i was a lesbian, i was just a supporter. however, the more research i did, and the more bi people who were critical of the label i listened to with an open mind, my preconceived notions stopped lining up with the facts i knew.

i'm gonna let you in on a secret: nobody who's "panphobic" thinks pansexuals aren't lgbt. nobody! well, that's a bit of a generalization, but what i'm saying is thats not the argument.

one thing i want you to know is that if you are pansexual, you and your experiences with sexuality are valid. the only issue i and many others have is not the people, but the label.

it's been covered in many posts before, and in some of my own, but the tl;dr of it is that the label itself not only has a problematic past, but a problematic present.

there have been a few different definitions of pansexuality. in order to prove my first point that there is no fundamental difference between bisexual and pansexual, i'm going to go through the most common ones i see in order of use and briefly go over why they perpetuate biphobia and transphobia, and i will link to some sources explaining stuff in more detail, and probably better because i am not an expert, nor am i bisexual. i am operating off of the information that trusted articles and bisexuals have shared. bisexuals, please feel free to correct me if i present any innacurate information or it i mess up my wording, and feel free to add on if i missed anything!

"hearts not parts": pansexuality is inclusive of trans people while bisexuality is not - this is completely false. it's incredibly transphobic to say that some sexualities include trans people while others don't, and it is also incredibly biphobic to insinuate that bisexuals don't like trans people. trans people are included in every sexuality.

pansexual means being "gender blind"/ caring more about personality while bisexuals have preferences - also false. this is wrong because bisexual people without preference have existed for ages. to say that they are pan instead of bi because they don't have a preference is ahistorical and biphobic. additionally, saying bisexuals only care about gender/ physical appearance is literally a biphobic stereotype. it insinuates that they're in it for the sex and they aren't committed/ they don't care about the emotional connection they have with people.

pansexual means all and bisexual means two/ two or more (most common definition i see today) - false. this is where i direct you to the bisexual manifesto from Anything That Moves: Beyond the Myths of Bisexuality (1990) by the Bay Area Bisexual Network, where it states this: "Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or dougamous in nature; that we must have "two" sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders." pansexual has always been inclusive of all genders, and this is also evidence as to why bisexuality has always been inclusive of nonbinary people. saying that nonbinary people are not included in every sexuality is entirely wrong. nonbinary people are not a monolith, nor are they some magical third gender. you can't say you're only attracted to some genders. you can't divide attraction to nonbinary people based on identity when it comes to sexuality, because no nonbinary person looks the same! please read more about this here, this explains it way better than i can.

now that i've gone through that, i'd like to point out the problematic history of pansexuality, a masterpost on what I've gone over and more by a bi person, more reading on why pansexuality perpetuates biphobia, and even more evidence.

i would recommend checking out all of these sources, as they do a fantastic job covering some of what i tried to cover in this post but much better.

now, where do we go from here? the reason pansexuality rose to popularity, in my opinion at least, is because of internalised biphobia. knowing what you know now, that pansexuality and bisexuality are in no way fundamentally different, why do you choose to identify as pansexual?

i know how it feels to have the word you use to describe your identity, which is such an important part of you, attacked. trust me, i get it. but you have to step past that and look inside yourself a little bit. that discomfort you might feel with the bisexual label? that's internalized biphobia.

i can relate to this to some extent, but obviously not in the same way. as i stated before, i identified as pansexual before i identified as a lesbian. i liked the word. it was inclusive and it had none of the negative connotations lesbian or bisexual had. later, i realized i wasn't attracted to men, so i made the switch to lesbian, but it was hard. because of all those negative connotations from society, i still feel uncomfortable with being a lesbian sometimes. and i recognize that it isn't because i'm not a lesbian, but it's because of how society views lesbians. pansexual is a relatively new term to come into popular consciousness, so it has much less stereotype surrounding it compared to bisexual.

When you buy "grey market" hormones from an online pharmacy they always come in sealed blister packets with the logos of reputable Indian pharmaceutical companies, which are the same companies that supply generics for Walgreens.

When you go into a doctor for trans HRT they will prescribe you based on a generalized scheme they start every patient with, usually based on public information from other clinics, see how it effects you, and then try to titrate that to you specifically over time based on how you're feeling and blood work. Basically what you would be doing on your own, sans bloodwork.

Is it ideal to give yourself hormones when you don't have access to blood tests? No.

Is it dangerous if you're following publicly available guidelines? No.

I really need cis people to understand that going to get HRT as a trans person is not like trying to get treated for high blood pressure. A lot of doctors won't do it, require months of expensive gate keeping, or have literally no experience and know less about it than the average trans person. That's if a trans person even has access to medical care at all. Every time I've moved I've had to take into account the area's proximity to doctors experienced with trans people.

the fact that some of the people who sent me as a 15 year old graphic discussion of how ‘repulsed’ they were by my dick and told me as a 15 year old how nobody but pedophile in denial chasers would ever want to fuck me and how i as a 15 year old was somehow predatory for expressing attraction to anyone were groomed 15 year olds rather than the 20somethings grooming them doesnt suddenly make it less of a traumatizing experience

So there are a bunch more like this and it’s a big fuck you to the Proud Boys and reminding us what real proud boys (Pride) looks like

I already know how this probably gained any traction and it was with a few basic hot White Ppl getting PAID to post like ten or fifteen thirst traps each with some bullshit Twitter ‘thinkpeices’ about how “we need to go co opt this too! Woo hoo yay activism is hot let’s do it yay!”

And all you dumb ass gays fell for it and now shits muddled up even more.

WHAT exactly do y’all think is gonna happen when these images hit Facebook??? If people on this godforsaken platform couldn’t even figure out that the Gays apparently ‘co-opted’ the title of Proud Boys, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOUR BOOMER ASS MOTHERS AND FATHERS ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT FOR THEMSELVES???

We’re talking about the generation of people who still get confused by Onion and Clickhole articles!!

In about a weeks time I’m gonna start having to read articles and hear boomers try and argue about how “Trumps dogwhistle to the Proud Boys wasn’t a bad thing at all, how they’re so accepting and also Gay™️ so they can’t be all that bad” and how “the hateful left just doesn’t accept anyone that has any opinions that might differ from theirs”

STOP FALLING FOR BULLSHIT.

IM A FUCKING BLACK GAY. I NEVER SIGNED ONTO THIS SHIT. I CERTAINLY DONT WANT TO BE KNOWN AS A FUCKING PROUD BOY.

DID ANYONE CONSULT ANY GAYS OF COLOR ON THIS OR DID YALL WHITE GAYS JUST STEAMROLL AHEAD ON THIS.

None the less the tag contains tons of PoC anyways its not just “white gays” idk why its become so popular to be homophobic just cause someones white.

Are you incapable of thinking critically? Were you dropped on your soft spot as an infant? I mean it.

Proud Boys are a neonazi, white supremacist, fascist group. Their ideal world is one where they’ve beaten every person of color to death. That’s what those people stand for. And recently our president refused to disavow them and hate groups like them, and even embolded them by telling them to “stand by” which they’re not using as a slogan.

Why, with any amount of thought and consideration for the thoughts, feeling and safety of people of color… Would white gay people think it’s remotely okay or even smart to try and claim “proud boys” as their own term to make it Not Such A Bad Term :)

Also the current proudboys tag was started by poc also so sorry about that :/

"Trolling" doesn't remove power from white supremacist groups, once again, it doesn't take much deep thought to realize that is pretty obviously a very bad idea. You can reclaim a slur, you can't take the name from an active neonazi white supremacist hate group and make it a good thing. It just looks like you're allying yourself with said hate group.

If we wanna take power from hate groups, we stand on the front lines and defend those who can't defend themselves. Not "haha wouldn't it be funny to put a pic from pride in the tag without considering the consequences"