Love, Ana

since you were young, atsumu has always been by your side. your first ever encounter with the boy was in the first grade when you fell at recess and got your pretty purple dress dirty. you cried and cried until you felt a warm hand grab your palm.

“woah, yer bleeding! that’s a big cut, it’ll leave an awesome scar!” looking up you saw a mop of brown hair and the same colored eyes. “Let's clean you up, yeah?” with a big ol’ pout on your face, you nodded and let the boy guide you inside to the water fountains in the hallways.

the water was cold, and it hurt like hell running along your wound, but you tried not to cry in order to not look like a big baby in front of the boy. “how’s ‘at feel hmm?” your eyes were red and puffy, and you had tear stains on your pink cheeks but atsumu had still thought you looked pretty. you mumbled out a ‘hurts’ and atsumu nodded. “well if i gave ya half of my strawberry sandwich will that make you feel better?” he smiled at you, hoping to see that cute smile of yours again. you sniffled and nodded, and he led you back outside to his lunchbox and secretly handed you half of the sandwich.

you bit into it and the corners of your mouth instantly lifted. it tasted exactly like the ones your mom had always made in the summer. turning around, atsumu had seen your chubby cheeks stuffed with food and whipped cream all over your mouth. he stared for a second and you turned to look at him too. a mumbled ‘what’ came out of your mouth, barely audible, to which he replied “nothin, yer just pretty.” a slight scowl adorned your face. your dress was ripped, you had dirt all over the fabric, and you were pretty sure that you had wood chips in your braids. you had thought that he was crazy, but then again that was something you had always admired about atsumu.

“do ya think yer mom will be able to sew that up?” you blinked once, twice and said “i don’t have a mom.” atsumu stared blankly at the floor and his lips turned into a straight line.

“well my mom can sew it up for you if ya’d like.” you sat on it for a while. it was a pretty dress and you didn’t want to throw it away, after all you had just gotten it last weekend as a gift for doing so well at your piano recital. plus it was your second favorite color, after pink obviously.

“okay, i’ll tell my dad after school” he nodded and stuck his hand out.

“i’m atsumu” he grinned widely.

timidly you shook his hand and responded, “i’m y/n.”

ever since that fateful day you guys had been stuck at the hip. it was easy in the beginning, all you had to do was follow atsumu around and hold the jar that he caught all the frogs and bugs in. he claimed that being the jar holder was the best job in the world! even going as far as comparing it to being a CIA agent guarding top secret weapons that could end humanity as you know it. of course you knew he was lying, but nonetheless, you were the designated jar holder. on special occasions osamu would hold the jar and he’d let you carry the net. on days like that you would just run around and chase butterflies, laughing away when you would miss entirely. astumu would pout because he wanted you to hold the jar (he really just wanted you to stay behind him and to talk to him), but then you would catch a butterfly and put it on his nose and it always brought back that goofy smile you loved.

being the bug carrier used to be the bain of your existence, but god was it so much easier then going through puberty with the boys. astumu was so sweet in your childhood but as he got older he did start to roughhouse with you and tease you. osamu on the other hand had just gotten more reserved but nonetheless he also roughhoused with you. nothing was worse than when you had gotten all pretty for school and the boys decided to put you in a headlock and nuggie you to death. you’d get so upset and give them the silent treatment until atsumu cracked and whined about how sorry he was and to not leave him because your his best friend. you just tilt your head the other way until osamu offers to make you a strawberry sandwich to which you turn and smile, “deal.” which always left atsumu with his jaw on the floor.

they’d hold your bag over their head, teasing you to grab it while you tippy toed and whined for them to give it back. they’d put you in a headlock and make you smell their BO. they’d rub their sweaty forehead on you. they’d fart and put you in a dutch oven. they just liked to terrorize you.

but what had especially sucked was when you had started puberty. all the boys had gotten was quite a bit of inches to their height and deeper voices, but you were stuck with gaining weight on your chest, thighs and behind. but what really set things off was when you had gotten your first period.

you called atsumu crying and speaking all kinds of gibberish that he couldn’t understand and then you hung up out of nowhere. so atsumu decided to drag osamu along with him to get down to this mystery. you hadn’t lived too far from them. maybe a few blocks down, nothing their bikes couldn’t handle. your dad let them in and he was happy they were there, because he had no knowledge on how to help or comfort you in these situations. you had locked yourself in your room, screaming at your dad and brothers to not bother you or you’d rip their limbs off. you could’ve asked one of your brothers girlfriends for advice, but you felt that maybe it was a little too weird, which definitely was not the case but 12 year old girls tend to exaggerate things.

softly, atsumu knocked calling out your name. you didn’t answer, atsumu had looked at his brother who just shrugged. slowly and quietly he opened the door, and in that split second you had flung a pillow at his face knocking him on the ground.

“ow, what the heck y/n!” atsumu yelled as he rubbed his nose.

“sorry i thought you were one of my brothers.” you held out your hand to pick him up.

you looked a mess. you had a baggy t shirt that belonged to one of your older brothers, some valentine’s day pajamas even though it was the middle of september, and your socks were mismatched. you looked like you had just gotten through a heartbreak, which was odd because atsumu could not recall you talking about a boyfriend or any of the sorts.

“what happened to you?” osamu inquired to which atsumu just nodded. you flushed and threw yourself on the bed, pushing your face into a pillow. you had muttered words but the twins didn’t hear a thing.

“what?” you huffed and repeated what you said, and again, the twins didn’t hear. “huh” you quickly sat up and yelled, “i got my period!” angrily in the heat of the moment and once you processed it you could feel yourself die of embarrassment.

a “so” and “what's that” were said simultaneously which led to atsumu being slapped upside the head by his twin.

“ow what was that for!” pouting, atsumu rubbed his head. osamu rolled his eyes at his older brother,

“remember when mom doesn’t feel good for at least a week each month?” atsumu’s face changed from one of confusion into one of realization.

“ohhh, so y/n’s bleeding from downstairs?” osamu nodded and you were furious.

you flung another pillow at both of them, “just shut up and get me ice cream!” the boys nodded and quickly ran downstairs and hopped on their bikes, peddling to the convenience store. after that encounter the boys had never tried anything with you while you’re on your period, even though you had gotten more mellow about it through the years.

but what really, REALLY sucked? you’re uncharted feelings towards astumu. you have always adored atsumu since the day he helped you when you fell in first grade. but seeing him grow up into a handsome young man really took a toll on your heart. the once chubby cheeked sweet boy was now a sharp jawed tease. he had gotten much taller, and his muscles were also starting to grow from the non-stop volleyball he’d been playing since he was young. his shoulders and biceps were swollen from the hours of training, and his boyish grin had gotten even more charming, panty dropping some would even say. to say he was a stud would be an understatement.

of course you scolded yourself for even thinking of atsumu of anything more than just your best friend, but you couldn’t help but indulge yourself in the thought of being the person he held dearest to his heart. you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to cross the unspoken boundary between platonic love and romantic love. you knew you shouldn’t have these feelings, you couldn’t, but how couldn’t you whenever the man would charm you with his jokes and his antics. surely he was just acting this way because you’re his childhood best friend, that’s all it was, but you longed for it to be something more. your heart was so full of him you could hardly call it yours.

you weren’t quite sure of when the small inklings of adoration had budded into much more, but they bloomed and boy was it big. he consumed your thoughts and you ached to be something more than just friends. how you wished to be the one he buys flowers for just because, the one he gives his umbrella to because you forgot yours, the one who he spent his nights thinking about. it was wrong in so many ways. you were forbidden fruit, atsumu had always thought. he could never admit his feelings because you were his best friend above all else. the thought of losing you plagued his mind when he got the courage to tell you something, forcing him to shove his thoughts away for the sake of your friendship.

maybe you could recall the day you had fallen. maybe it was the summer of 8th grade during summer camp when atsumu had snuck out of his cabin to come see you. you had gotten homesick and the girls in your bunk were such blabbermouths, chatting loudly during lunch why you weren’t in the cafeteria. of course both the twins had over heard, but atsumu was the one to act on it. you heard a faint knock at your window, and low and behold it was those dazzling eyes you knew all too well.

quietly you lifted the window and scolded him, “tsumu, what are you doing here!”

he shushed you and smiled. “i heard you weren’t havin fun” you looked the other way and shook your head.

“cmon, i wanna show you somethin” he grabbed your hand and carefully helped you out the window.

“tsumu we’re gonna get in trouble!” you whisper shouted, your palm in his hand was getting sweaty from being anxious.

he turned and looked at you, pointing his flashlight at your face, “do ya trust me?” nibbling at your lip, you hesitantly nodded and he squeezed your hand.

you continued to let him drag you by the arm until you were standing in front of the lake. it was quiet, the july breeze had felt refreshing on your sweaty skin. the sounds of cicadas chirping was comforting and the scent of summer lingered in the air creating a soft aroma that made you feel fuzzy all the way to your toes.

“turn yer flashlight off” you switched it off and it was pitch black. your veins ran cold.

“tsumu i can’t see anything” you squeezed his hand out of fear, which he responded to by using his thumb to rub your hand, hoping to somewhat soothe you.

“just hold my hand ‘kay?” you nodded, though he couldn’t see you he knew that you had complied.

wordlessly, atsumu swayed some of the tall grass by his foot and suddenly it wasn’t dark anymore.

what seemed like a million fireflies had flown up, shimmering like a thousand stars in the pitch black night sky. instantly your eyes widened and jaw dropped, the sight in front of you was one to behold. atsumu had seen your expression and couldn’t help but smile. if you were both to be caught now, he thought that it would be totally worth it. slowly you reached your hand out to try and grab one but they all fluttered away.

“tsumu this is so pretty” you said in awe but he couldn’t help but stare. he thought you looked even prettier. it was like the sun was shining on your skin and you glimmered like a thousand universes. your eyes so bright and filled with astonishment, the way your eyelashes batted with wonderstruck. that was when he knew you were his forever girl.

a stray hair stuck out on your face, and atsumu’s muscles instantly moved to move it behind your ear. you flushed, your heart stuttered and you couldn’t help but stare in those beautiful brown eyes you’d never get used to looking at. he smiled and it felt like your stomach had done a somersault, like a billion butterflies were trying to escape your tummy. when you both returned to your bunk and said your goodnights, you couldn’t sleep, replaying that moment over and over again until the crack of dawn.

but no, that wasn’t when you had fallen. maybe it was the winter break of 9th grade. it was a week before christmas, and you and the twins were up to no good during the break. snowball fights, tracking mud in the house and letting all the cold air in by walking in and out of their home. the boys had tormented you, shoving your face in the snow, tackling you into the ground and even rolling up a big snowball just to throw it square at your face. to say your face felt like it had been frostbitten was a bit of an exaggeration, but it sure did feel like your face would melt off soon.

slowly the wind and snow had picked up, leaving you snowed in. you called your dad, wondering how you’d get home but all he said was to ask the twins mother if she would let you spend the night if the weather hadn’t calmed in an hour or two. of course she agreed, how could she say no when you’ve put up with her boys for the past 7 years, she practically considered you her daughter.

when the weather hadn’t cleared you and the twins had gotten excited, considering this would be your guys first sleepover. you guys had played board games, mario kart and played on your phones until midnight when samu fell asleep.

“tsumu i’m bored” your stomach rumbled and you looked down. “and hungry” you sheepishly smiled.

“me too” atsumu replied with a frown.

there was a beat of silence before atsumu’s head peaked up. “my mom has some cookie dough in the freezer, we can try and make those!” he grinned. your tummy rumbled again and you eagerly nodded. you couldn't help but think that this was something they did in all those romance movies you watched. your mind filled with thoughts about how they always end up kissing at the end of the scene and you couldn’t help but hope that maybe you’ll get a kiss too.

you both tippy toed downstairs to make the cookies. quietly atsumu opened the freezer and reached all the way in the back corner for the container of dough.

“what kind is it?” you whispered.

he squinted his eyes to look at the packaging. “chocolate chocolate chip” your stomach panged with hunger, eager to have that sweetness in your mouth.

atsumu paused and scratched his head, you could see the gears turning. “do ya know how to bake?”

you face palmed and took the container from his hands. “of course i know how to bake, who do you think made your birthday cake last year?” he shrugged and you continued to read the instructions.

once the oven was preheated, you asked atsumu to help you scoop the dough into little balls and place them on the cookie sheet. of course the little jokester he is he decided to smudge some on your nose. you stood there frozen and your jaw on the floor. he licked his finger of the dough and sent you a sly smile. you retaliated, grabbing a finger full and smearing it on his cheek, sending the same sly smile he sent you. he simply just rubbed it off with his finger and licked it, you made a disgusted face and rolled your eyes. boys will be boys.

once in the oven, you softly hopped on the counter, having to wait 20 minutes for the cookies to be ready.

“tsumu what do you want for christmas?” you queried. his lips turned into a thin line and he put his finger on his chin, thinking about what he wanted. truth be told he didn’t really know what he wanted. maybe some new volleyball shoes, some more video games, maybe even a new cologne he’s been wanting to try.

“i want a million dollars” he grinned and you rolled your eyes.

“tsumu i’m being serious, what do you want?”

all he could do was frown, “why is it so important to ya?” you stopped, and looked the other way.

it was quite embarrassing to say that you wanted to get him a present because you care about him a lot (not because you have a massive crush on the boy), so what would any other teenage girl do in your situation? you beat around the bush.

“just wanna give you something since we’ve been friends for so long” he didn’t believe you, but he just nodded.

“well i don’t really care what i get, i just wanna spend time with ya is all.”

there it was again. that funny feeling you got when he said something that could have been interpreted into something romantic. you bit the inside of your cheek and looked anywhere besides him. you were sure your cheeks were red, and it wasn’t just from the heat of the oven. you just nodded and continued on waiting for the cookies to be ready.

maybe he felt some kind of way about you other than just a friend.

even though you didn’t get the kiss you hoped for, you did get some sort of confirmation of where you stand with the boy, and you’ll take it.

again, that wasn’t when you had fallen. perhaps it was the beginning of 10th grade when atsumu had gotten his first car. atsumu had gotten a camaro, while osamu had gotten a nissan silvia. both were quite nice you had to admit, they were both sleek and looked luxurious. ever since atsumu had gotten his car, he didn’t let anyone near it, not even his mom. he feared someone would ruin his precious baby and he did not want that to happen. no one other than himself had been in it and he intended to keep it that way, that was until 3 weeks on a random friday.

you had been in your room folding laundry and watching tv, you didn’t really have any plans for tonight, maybe facetime the twins and do a face mask. you felt your phone buzz on your bedsheets. you ignored it for a good 5 minutes until it vibrated again. you put down the pair of pants you were folding and reached for the device, wondering who was texting you. opening your phone, you had seen that atsumu had texted you.

tsumu:

are you busy???

tsumu:

i’ll be at your place in an hour n a half, get all dolled up.

your brows drew together in confusion. what the hell was he planning on doing? nonetheless you quickly finished your laundry and hopped in the shower. since very few words were spoken, you didn’t really know the occasion and how you should dress. should you wear a blouse and a skirt? some jeans and a sweater? a dress? you decided something cute and comfy was the way to go, so you opted for flare tights, a white turtle neck with a brown crew neck on top since it was a bit chilly outside. you were feeling very minimalistic, so simple mascara and lipgloss were going to suffice. again, since you didn’t know the occasion, you did a simple blow out on your hair. the finishing touches were gold jewelry your father had gotten you for christmas last year.

you still had time left since atsumu’s last text, so you spent the last 10 minutes wondering what the now blonde was scheming. he was probably just going to take you with him to a practice volleyball match, you can’t count on one hand how many times he’s told you to get ready just to take you to one of his practice matches. you didn’t complain though, hot guys playing sports and getting sweaty was definitely a sight to see.

you heard a rumble down the street and looked outside, low and behold it was your best friend in his squeaky clean car. you ran outside to his window with your mouth open.

“tsumu what are you doing? you’re gonna get your car dirty!” he chuckled and stepped out of the vehicle.

“relax it’ll be okay, it’s only like 5 bucks to wash it” he said as he ruffled your hair. you smacked his arm away and huffed, a pout adorning your face as you tried to calm your hair down from his actions. when you finally looked up at him he felt the wind knock out of his lungs. you looked so damn pretty. your plump and pink lips pouting made him feel fuzzy inside, and the way you looked at him with your wide pretty eyes made him melt. you were the most gorgeous thing to walk the earth in his eyes.

he cleared his throat and put his arms on your shoulders, turning you the other way. “cmon, get in the car already” you paused right in front of the door.

“tsumu are you sure? i’m going to get it dirty” you said nibbling on your cheek. he let out a small laugh and nodded, opening the door for you.

“if i wasn’t sure then i wouldn’t have invited ya ya dunce” he said matter of factly as he flicked your forehead. he hadn’t told you your destination, but the ride to the location was filled with off key singing and laughter. you enjoyed moments like these, feeling each other's presence only fueled the fire in your belly that never seemed to dull. you felt as if he was the heartbeat in your body.

at one point you stopped at a red light and decided to look at him. that was a mistake.

the red glow of the light made him look ethereal. his jaw looked so sharp that it could cut the pillows he sleeps on, his face had a glow to it that made you feel like a volcano was erupting in your stomach. his eyes, shimmering like sparkling gems that had caught light at just the right angle, wide and beautiful. his face was tilted, one arm on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift. his arms looked big and beefy gripping on to the wheel, the dark flannel he wore over his gray hoodie really accentuated his biceps. he looked so good, too good. he could feel your stare and turned to look at you as well. looking in your eyes, he gave you that boyish grin that never seemed to fail to give you butterflies. you sent a small one back and turned forward as the light turned green.

atsumu had taken you out to watch a movie and eat at a cute diner that had some amazing burgers. you guys may or may not have gotten kicked out for throwing fry’s at each other, but a good time is a good time right? the drive home was silent, but comfortable, both of you just soaking up each others presence. when you got to your house, you turned to thank atsumu for the night, but he had already gotten out of the car. your face contorted into one of confusion, but a few seconds later your door had opened and his hand stuck out, waiting for yours. you looked up and smiled, gently taking his hand in yours. when you had reached your front door you both faced each other and stared for a good 30 seconds.

“i had fun tonight” you finally managed to get out. he nodded and replied, “me too” then it was quiet again. a breeze picked up and moved pieces of hair in your face. swiftly, atsumu tucked them behind your ear. your cheeks warmed and you batted your eyelashes.

“i’ll see ya at school monday” you nodded and smiled. as he began to walk off your mouth spoke before your brain could process it.

“tsumu?”

he paused and turned, “yeah?”

a sudden flood of courage coursed through your veins. you softly grabbed his hand, your other one gently turned his jaw as you slowly brought your lips up to place a sweet kiss on his cheek. you could feel his cheek warm under your touch, but you didn’t mind, you thought it was cute.

“have a goodnight” you said as you looked in his eyes. he was stunned. the girl of his dreams just kissed him.

“you too” he said breathlessly, walking back to his car with wide eyes. he waited for you to get inside and wave goodbye to him before he fist bumped the air. your lipgloss had left a mark on his cheek and he took as many pictures with it as he could.

when you had walked inside your dad was on the couch watching tv. “hey sweetie, how was your day?” you hid your smile as best as you could and replied with a quick ‘it was good’ as you rushed up stairs. you quickly threw yourself on the bed and grabbed your pillow to muffle your screams of joy and giggles. you felt on top of the world. your stomach could not stop churning and your cheeks burned. you felt so giddy and couldn’t believe that happened. another small step in your book.

but it was definitely the day before spring break of sophomore year that you had fallen.

which was 2 weeks ago to be exact.

you were already having a bad day. your cat that you had gotten when you were 6 passed away, your little brother had thought it would be funny to put water in your piano which damaged the interior detrimentally and you had woken up late which caused you to have bed head. despite all that you tried to be positive, considering you had something good going on in your life.

you had gotten quite a huge crush on a basketball player from your school, and for what it seemed he had shown some interest in you back. you felt excited, you thought that maybe all the romantic things you had dreamed of would come true, maybe this was your soulmate. of course you thought about atsumu as well, but it seemed like all you and atsumu would ever be is just friends. you felt that you should move on, you deserve to find someone that can love you.

that was until the guy straight up said “how could anyone ever want to be with you? you’re annoying and clingy, you can’t even make decisions for yourself. try not to be so insufferable and then maybe we could be a thing.” you froze. you could feel your heart shatter and your face warm. all you had asked was if it was okay to sit by him. angrily you threw your lunch tray at him and rushed out of the cafeteria. hot tears rolled down your face as you walked out the building. what kind of a jerk publicly humiliates a girl all because she asked if she could sit by them. you ran to the metro and prayed that you would get home quickly. you felt like you were suffocating and needed to get home. once home, you hastily threw open the door, running up the stairs and slamming your door closed. your dad had heard you and wondered what all the ruckus was.

knocking, he asked “sweetie what’s up? why are you home early?” you screamed at him to go away and he obliged, too scared and knowing better that it was best to let you be and simmer down.

atsumu had heard about the whole thing during practice. he had already felt bad because he wasn’t at lunch today; he had gotten detention from his coach for being late to practice 3 times that week. he overheard omimi talking about how a point guard went off on a girl and she threw her tray at him. atsumu instantly perked up and butted in the conversation.

“what point guard?” he questioned with an eyebrow raised.

“think it was the one your girlfriend was talking to” suna said with a smug grin. atsumu’s face dropped, completely ignoring suna’s comment as he ran out the gym.

“where is he going?” kita questioned annoyed, the boys just shrugged.

he raced to your house, surprised he didn’t get pulled over but grateful nonetheless. if it really was you that that jerk had yelled at, then he had one thing coming. atsumu’s hand tightly gripped the wheel, angry at the fact that some douchebag had the audacity to raise his voice at you. he was already jealous of stealing your attention, taking his precious time with you away. but you looked so happy and he really didn’t want to ruin that for you. he realized that maybe that guy could give you something that he couldn’t.

but obviously that was totally wrong, and he realized that now as he pulled into your house. he had tried calling you, but to no avail you didn’t answer. he knocked on your door quite loudly, and you father had answered.

“is she here?”

your father shook his head, “no she took off somewhere awhile ago.”

atsumu nodded and thanked him, going back into his car. he stopped and thought for a while. where could you possibly be? you could literally be anywhere on the earth right now.

a thought popped into his head. he remembered that one time when you got into an argument with your dad you ran off like you did now. you had ended up at an ice cream shop by the beach. it was a long shot, but it was the only possible lead he had as to where you are right now. he quickly drove across town, searching for you somewhere in the yellow sand. he saw a couple of people, a boy and his dog, a small family and an elderly couple. just as he was about to leave, he saw a small figure at the end of the beach. it had to have been you. he parked his car and slowly walked towards you. you were sitting up with your arms wrapped around your knees, your chin resting on your forearms. he heard you sniffle and his heart ached for you. quietly, he sat next to you and patted your head.

“hey” you turn your head, red eyes rimmed and puffy. your cheeks were rosey and your hair was disheveled, but atsumu still thought you looked as beautiful as ever. you mumbled out a small hey and turned forward again. the sounds of the waves crashing had calmed you, you longed to jump in the water and never be heard from again.

but you were glad he was here.

it was nice having him right next to you, the loneliness was bearable with him by your side. having him next to you made you feel significantly smaller, in more ways than physical. atsumu held himself high and could easily pick himself back up. but you? you were just an insecure girl looking for someone to be her lifeline. maybe that guy was right. how could anyone ever love you if you can’t even love yourself. you craved validation but for what? for who? why couldn’t you just learn to be alone, what was so bad about it.

“what’s going on in that big head of yours?” you heard from beside you. you paused, you needed something from him to help you see yourself.

“do you think i’m annoying?” you asked softly and atsumu chuckled.

“you talk a lot sometimes, i could say it’s annoying, yeah” the way your eyes welled up with tears made atsumu punch himself internally, now was obviously not the right time for jokes.

“i’m kidding, i don’t think yer annoying. i think yer quite the opposite in fact. quite lovely in my opinion” you nodded but his words didn’t quite get through to you. he could obviously be lying, he is your best friend and all, he could be sparing your feelings.

“‘m serious. i love being around you. you’re such a great person to be around, you’re funny and nice, you listen, you care. you were too good for that jerk in my opinion, you deserve someone way better than that di-“

“tsumu” he smiled sheepishly, “sorry.”

you stared at him, the orange hue from the sun setting made him look stunning. he looked so handsome and you wanted to feel his lips on yours so bad.

“do you mean that?” you asked breathlessly. his eyes met yours and he nodded, something flickered in his eyes that you couldn’t quite recognize. he wrapped his arm around you, leaning your head on his shoulder. just sitting there watching the sunset, you felt at peace. he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, laying his head on top of yours. maybe you were wrong.

maybe atsumu was your soulmate.

that was what you had thought, until out of the blue little miss sunshine and rainbows popped up in the picture.

aiko nakamura.

she was a pretty girl, slim and tall with long legs. she was on the girls track team, and some would say she was one of the cliche it girls. you didn’t really know her, you went to school with her in elementary but you never really had been friends. from what you’ve heard she was nice and funny.

also atsumu’s type apparently.

you were happy for him really, you were just a little upset at the fact that he hadn’t told you anything about her at all. i mean really, what could you do? there was no way you were going to declare your unproclaimed love for him. so of course, being the best best friend you could ever possibly be, you suck it up. you wipe your tears and go on, acting like it doesn’t affect you even if you spend your nights wondering why.

after they had gotten together, your time with atsumu had been cut short significantly. your once friday tradition of hanging out had been given away to some girl atsumu had only been with for 2 weeks. obviously it hurt seeing the guy you’re in love with loving up on someone that wasn’t you, but again, there was not much you could do. watching from afar seemed best, and the once arms length of distance had become one oceans away. he felt just out of your reach and maybe this time it was entirely too late.

after a while, you stopped reaching out to atsumu. you stopped going over, you stopped eating lunch with him, you stopped calling, you stopped texting, you stopped talking. you ached to tell someone about your days because your person was just a ghost of a memory now. you still talked to osamu of course, even hanging with him every now and then. but it just wasn’t the same as your best friend.

one day when you and osamu were chilling in his room, atsumu and his girlfriend were arguing. you could hear the screams and shouts, bickering back and forth. you and osamu just looked at each other, knowing it was best to just mind your business. a few minutes later and you heard stomping down the stairs and a door slam. it was quiet for a little, then atsumu barged into the room.

he moved sluggishly and threw himself onto osamu’s bed.

“‘m guessin you guys fought?” osamu chucked.

atsumu let out a big sigh and had the biggest frown on his face. “she’s mad because i never post her or whatever.”

you decided to stay quiet, continuing to do whatever it was on your phone.

atsumu had noticed your lack of communication recently, and he was upset about it. he wondered if he made you mad or angry at him, or if he did anything wrong. he hated the radio silence and he also hated that you didn’t talk to him about it. he just wanted some type of closure. did you not want to be friends with him anymore? was he too insufferable for you now?

he threw a pillow at you.

“ow, tsumu what the heck!” you glared and all he could do was laugh. atsumu could swear there was steam coming out your ears.

“was just trynna get yer nose out that phone, sorry”

you rolled your eyes, some half assed apology that was.

you guys just sat there a few minutes, it was peaceful and quiet.

“you should go to our game tomorrow” you paused and furrowed your eyebrows.

“i thought aiko was going?” atsumu just shook his head and smiled.

“she is but i want ya to be there too y'know since yer my best friend and all”

“i’ll think about it” another pillow was flung at your head.

going to bed that night you really did think about it. you’d love to go to atsumu’s games but you knew for a fact that aiko was going to be there, and you didn’t want to witness that awkward pda shared between them; you had already walked in on them making out a week before. but of course your heart always wins against your head, and it couldn’t help but thirst about wanting to see atsumu all sweaty and tired from his game.

you had gotten there 10 minutes early and the stands were already packed. their games had always been big, everyone wanted to see the talented players in action. it was both a blessing and a curse to say that you knew those boys. you decided you’d go look for a seat after you said hi to the twins first.

“atsumu y/n is here” kita motioned his hand toward your figure standing by osamu. osamu had spotted you when you first walked in and left aran in the middle of warmups.

from afar, your cheeks looked red, and you seemed nervous. atsumu had wondered if you were sick or if something happened to you. he quickly walked over to you.

just before he had reached you, osamu had pulled you into a hug. his eyebrows drew together. since when were you and osamu that close. he decided to keep his question in the back of his head, deciding he’ll ask about it some other time. you were about to leave, but the blonde had called out for you.

“hey y/n, where ya goin?” eyebrows raised, atsumu waited for your answer.

“i was just going back up to the stands, good luck guys!” osamu patted your head and you left.

there was something brewing in atsumu’s chest, something funny. he looked at his twin with eyebrows furrowed. it was a little odd for you to just randomly hug osamu, so what the hell just happened between you two?

osamu smirked. he could see the glint of jealousy in his brother's eyes. “what?” shrugging his shoulders, he walked off.

you had found a good spot just before the game started. you could see both sides of the court and you could easily see the players. the whistle blew and the game began.

all of the players were amazing, and the rally’s that kept going on were phenomenal. it was a battle that was never ending and it kept you and your toes.

the lights and cheers going on around you really fueled the intensity of the game. it felt like you were watching an olympic game.

you were so caught up with the game that you didn’t hear someone call out your name.

“y/n! what are you doing here?” you turned and aiko stood before you. she looked all pretty and she had atsumu’s jersey on. the one that he never let you wear because it was ‘too precious and i don’t want you to get it dirty’. you felt a pang of hurt in your chest but you smiled.

“oh, hey. the boys invited me to their game and i thought i’d come and support” she nodded and smiled.

“i didn’t think i’d see you here, atsumu always tells me how you never go see him because you’re too scared to get hit by a ball” she laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

you actually didn’t go because you had piano practice, but you didn’t want to burst her bubble.

“oh that’s so funny, he’s always making up some kind of joke” you forced a laugh and turned your attention back to the game.

“yeah he’s always saying something about you” she giggles.

“he also told me about that whole reiji thing”

you stopped.

reiji was the basketball player that you had gotten the big fat massive crush on. he was also the one that yelled at you in the cafeteria.

there’s no way he told her about something like that. something that you had been so raw and vulnerable about. you cried to atsumu about how you really liked him and how he made you feel good about yourself. about how you wish he didn’t say those things because now you feel even more unlovable than you did before.

“he told you… about that?” she nodded and looked towards the court, acting as if what she was saying didn’t affect you.

“yeah what a douche, he definitely could’ve said that over text or something. not that i think it’s true or anything but still!” you nodded and tried to let her words fly over your head.

“but i mean really, how naive were you to think that he would actually want to be with you?”

you could feel your heartbeat in all of your limbs and hear the sound of your blood rushing to your face.

“boys like that only want one thing, and unfortunately for you you don’t have it. maybe if you made yourself look pretty you’d have a boyfriend!” she smiled at you.

you stood there, dumbfounded, shocked about how you should respond. was she trying to help you or bring you down? because it definitely seems like the latter. and it was definitely working. you were embarrassed and wanted to run out of the gym but you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself.

the buzzer went off and the crowd dispersed.

“oh! that’s game, i’ll see you around!” she smirked and waved, walking towards the players.

you were still shocked from the whole ordeal. you could see her run up to atsumu and kiss his forehead. atsumu leaned in for a hug but she backed away, clearly not wanting to get sweat on her outfit.

you also walked down to talk to the boys, but you didn’t want to interrupt the couple so you told osamu good job, giving him a hug. you and atsumu had made eye contact and it was clear he wanted to talk to you, but before he could get to you you panicked and quickly walked out of the gym. you did not want to speak to him especially since he had told his girlfriend about your heartbreak.

he thought it was odd, you always told him bye so why did you run off?

“hey uh, i’ll be right back” aiko gripped his hand and atsumu was taken aback.

“where are you going?” atsumu looked down at his hand, stared at it and retracted his arm.

“just gonna do sumthin real quick” she nodded, but she obviously knew where he was going.

in a light jog, atsumu went to search for you. surely you couldn’t have gone too far, you hadn’t left that long ago.

he spotted your figure just about to exit the building.

“y/n!” you paused and turned, seeing the person you were trying to avoid the most. you could feel yourself shiver.

“where ya goin?” he questioned.

“i’m going home tsumu” he was confused and you could see that in his facial expressions.

“weren’t you gonna tell me bye?” you looked in his eyes and you could feel your anger and embarrassment melt away.

“i didn’t want to interrupt you and aiko. she seems nice by the way. hope you guys are happy” you said, forcing a smile. you walked off but atsumu could clearly see that something was up with you. he didn’t want to push so he settled for a small smile and a wave.