YOUR TURN.

she  scoffs,      making  it  no  secret  how  she  really  feels  about  the  people  hailey’s  hanging  out  with.        she  doesn’t  care  what  they’ve  told  her  or  how  they’ve  acted  around  her    ——      it  doesn’t  matter  how  GOOD  they  can  seem,      because  audrey  knows  just  how  bad  they  can  get       (      or  maybe  that’s  the  JEALOUSY  speaking,         given  how  angry  audrey  still  is  that  emma  chose  them  over  her.      )        ❝    you’ve  known  them  for  all  of  five  minutes,       i’ve  known  them  all  my  tragic  life.        didn’t  you  come  here  for  a  FRESH  START?     ❞         she  didn’t  know  all  the  details,      but  she  knew  if  hailey  wanted  to  spend  her  time  with  people    who   would  put  her  in  a  BETTER  headspace,     she  was  already  looking  in  the  wrong  place.      ❝    sure.     they  were  probably  cool  BEFORE  they  met  her.     ❞        she’s  speaking  sarcastically,    and  giving  them  more  credit  than  she  would  normally.        a  glare  was  shot  back  at  her  before  her   hand  moved  to  push  her  hair  back.       ❝     WAS,     until  those  prissy  bitches  decided  our  friendship  was  over.    ❞        there’s  more  to  it  and  she  knows  that     (     she  was  in  love  with  her;        she  didn’t  want  to  share  her  with  people  who  had  never  been  kind  to  her.    )          ❝      don’t  they  all  just  kind  of  blend  together?    ❞          in  her  mind,     they  were  just  copies  of  nina.

she’s  always  tried  to  see  the  better  in  people,       though  it’s  getting  difficult  now  that  she’s  aware  of  just  how  far  some  people  are  willing  to  go.     her  old  friends  had  been  seen  the  same  way,     dubbed  awful  people  by  those  that  didn’t  really  know  them.     maybe  they  were  mean  sometimes,     but  it’s  not  as  if  hailey’s  entirely  innocent in  that  department,      either.      if  she  were,     the  last  few  months  of  her  life  wouldn’t  have  been  hell.     “     yeah,    but  it’s  not  high  school  drama  i’m  trying  to  escape  from.     ”       she  wishes  it  was  that  simple,    but  even  her  mom  doesn’t  know  the  full  extent  of  it;     she  doesn’t  even  seem  to  understand  why  hailey  dreads  even  carrying  her  phone  around,     and  hailey  doesn’t  care  to  explain.     not  if  it  means  remembering.     

❝     it’s  okay  to  get  to  know  OTHER  people,       you  know.           you  don’t  have  to  latch  on  to  the  first  people  who  give  you  attention.   ❞        she  wouldn’t  normally  be  harsh  to  the  other  girl,        but  with  emma’s  new  friends  being  who  her  cousin  chose  to  spend  her  time  with,       she  can’t  help  but  speak  up  about  it.         if  she  wanted  any  kind  of  SANITY  in  lakewood,      she  was  already  looking  in  the  wrong  place.         ❝     seriously,    dude,       you  could  do  better.       trust  me,       i  know  way  too  well  how  awful  they  are.   ❞ 

                   ↷    @disconection    ╱   ♥︎

❝   he  made  you  feel  good.       he  made  you  feel  normal,    ❞         she  notes,      mostly  out  of  her  own  experience.      it’s  how  ash  always  made  her  feel,      as  if  she  was  always  such  an  EMPTY  GIRL  yet  whenever  ash  was  around,      she  finally  felt  whole  again.         he  could  fill   the  void,       yet  when  he  was  GONE,      she  felt  like  nothing  again       (     she  felt  helpless.    )        and  maybe  that’s  the  same  way  for  hailey,     she  can  understand  that.         she  knows  what  it’s  like  to  try  to  hold  on  so  tightly  to  the  one  good  thing  you’ve  got,     even  if  logic  tells  you  it’s  wrong.         ❝    you’re  not    —–      you’re  not  the  only  one.       it’s  happening  to  all  of  us.       hailey,      you’re  not  alone,    ❞         she  reminds  her,     eyes  shooting  back  up  at  her.       ❝    so  don’t  .    .    .         don’t  leave  us  here  without  you.       we  can’t  go  through  it  together  if  you’re  not  here.    ❞          it’s  her  way  of  saying  PLEASE  DON’T  GO,       I  DON’T  WANT  TO  DO  THIS  WITHOUT  YOU.       she  never  imagined  having  a  friend  like  hailey,     but  now  that  she  has  her,      she  can’t  let  go.          her  head  falls  back,      a  sigh  leaving  her  lips.        ❝    they’re  tormenting  us  online  too.       we  can’t  escape  that.      they’ll  just    —–      ❞       find  us  again.       she  doesn’t  want  to  say  it  out  loud.        ❝    i  wish  it  could,    ❞        she  speaks  softly.         ❝   it  has  to.   ❞  

even though i loved her development in season two + her finally seeing that sean is trash,    only the events of season one have taken place in this verse,   given that no one knows what’s happening to them after the season finale.   after hailey’s overdose attempt post season one,   her mother decided that it wasn’t enough to simply move houses, as she did in canon;   instead,   for the sake of hailey’s mental health,   she decided to move areas entirely,   in hopes that starting fresh might relieve hailey of all her stress.

they move to lakewood,    since their family members howard and audrey j/ensen live there.   (    note:    this is up for discussion for people who write audrey;   hailey and audrey don’t have to be cousins.   her mom could just have horrible luck in choosing a new home.    )     hailey wasn’t made aware of this until after her mother picked her up from rehab,   and though a part of her was relieved to escape from the memories of her own home,   it irritated her that she was never given the proper chance to say goodbye to her friends,   even if she spent all two months in rehab ignoring rowan.

although she was very reluctant to even pick up her phone,   eventually,   she missed her friends too much to continue ignoring them.    she doesn’t use social media for obvious reasons,   and being on her phone still makes her feel anxious,    but she does use it in an attempt to try to stay connected to rowan,   elisia,   and others,    though she refuses to talk about what happened,   finding it easier to just avoid it.    otherwise,   she tries not to use her phone or the internet,   still afraid that she might be followed,   even in lakewood

he  offers  a  glare,        trying  to  make  it  obvious  she’s  pushing  a  line.       normally  he  didn’t  mind  talking  about  elisia       (       sometimes,      he  felt  like  she  was  the  only  good  thing  about  his  life.     )       but  now,      lives  were  at  stake  if  he  talked  ABOUT  her  or  TO  HER.         if  it  was  his  own,      it  might  be  different   —–    he  might  risk  it.        but  this  is  about  elisia  too.           ❝     seriously,     jensen,      i’m  not  talking  about  this.    ❞            he  wishes  there’s  a  way  to  give  her  a  hint,        to  tell  her  that  it’s  NOT  HIS  CHOICE.        if  it  was  up  to  him,      he’d  be  with  her  now.        if  only  he  could  show  her  that  it’s  king  cobra  leading  his  every  move  for  him  now,      then  they  could  all  save  each  other  the  heartbreak.        ❝    elisia  doesn’t  need  anyone.        if  you  haven’t  noticed,       that  girl’s  stronger  than  most.    ❞       spoken  from  a  place  of  admiration,       almost  making  it  quite  obvious  his  love  for  the  girl  is  still  so  strong.           ❝    definitely  not  me.      she’s  got  you  two,        you’ve  been  good  to  her.      just    —–     keep  doing  that.       keep  being  good  to  her.        please.   ❞      voice  cracks,      because  he  knows  she’s  right.      SHE  NEEDS  HIM,      AND  HE  CAN’T  BE  THERE,      because  the  only  way  to  protect  her  now  is  to  stay  far  away.      

there  has  to  be,      right?       WHO  SENT  THAT  VIDEO?       it’s  been  occupying  her  mind  for  days,      yet  she  doesn’t  know  how  to  stop  it.    it  haunts  her   —–   seeing  him  standing  before  her      (     i’m  right  here!      i’m  standing  right  in  front  of  you!     )        she  can’t  ever  shake  the  image  from  her  head,      because  even  when  she’s  able  to  think  of  something  else,       it’s  that  video    —–     always  a  cycle  of  terror  in  her  mind.          ❝   hales,      you  know  i  want  to  say  NO,     but   ——     ❞        she  doesn’t  go  on,       that’s  answer  enough.     she  can  tell  hailey’s  uneasy,      and  although  she’s  the  same,      she  finds  it  much  more  important  to  comfort  hailey  now      (       doing  so  will  do  the  same  for  rowan.    )        a   hand  reaches  over,       gently  grabbing  her  hand  as  her  eyes  lock  on  hers.       ❝    it’s  not  him.       monkeyman’s  dead.      ❞       SHE  KNEW  FIRSTHAND.        ❝   so  whoever  this  is,        they’re  probably  just  trying  to  mess  with  us.       for  real   this  time.      we’re  ahead  of  it  now,       we  can  deal  with  it.       no  one  else  is  dying.    ❞ 

she  doesn’t  trust  him,        but  she  doesn’t  know  him  either.         TRUST  has  never  come  easily,      and  even  coming  from  the  people  she  had  recently  found  a  certain  kind  of  comfortably  with,        she  doesn’t  know  whether  or  not  to  take  their  word.          she  just  hopes  it’s  the  end  for  hailey  and  the  boy  who  never  deserved  her      (      maybe  she  had  just  met  her,        but  she  still  knew  that  was  true.     )          ❝     you’re  not  stupid.        look  at  all  of  us     ——      we’ve  all  done  things  to  try  to  get  away.    ❞         voice  is  soft,      almost  a  whisper   —–    it  always  is,       having  lost  her  voice  and  her  spunk  even  long  before   monkeyman.          ❝       were    you    –     really   going  to  do  that?     ❞        she  wants  to  be  there  for  her  friend,      yet  at  the  same  time,      it  stings  her  heart  again    —–    hailey  has  already  tried  to  leave  them  for  good.            she  gulps,      head  turning  down.      she  doesn’t  want  to  get  mad,      not  this  time.      but  that  doesn’t  mean  she’s  not  disappointed.        ❝     you  can’t   —–       you  can’t  just  do  that  to  us.     ❞ 

❝    are  you  sure  ?    i’d  help  you  if  i  could  ,    i’m  not  good  at  school  work.    ❞