More Fly Than Icarus

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

we know that covid happened because the lockdowns were the reason Maggie was behind on rent (+ the whole lockdown audio bit, if you want to treat that as canon). the French Revolution, WW2, the Spanish Inquisition, climate change all happened. Shakespeare, Queen, the Velvet Underground, Shostakovich and David Bowie happened. hell, even on a much smaller-stakes scale, our version of the M25 still looks like Crowley's version.

the universe still worked out the same exact way. what was the point of their sacrifice then? no more cosmic meddling? we've ended up with the same exact thing anyway, so either Heaven and Hell were never that important because it's all humanity's doing (oh hello Book Omens/S1) , or the universe is just so inert that the whole "once you get rid of God you gain free will" thing is just blatantly Not True

"but humanity is now free to exist without the influences from Heaven or Hell!!!" yeah and everything still worked out the same way so ultimately Heaven and Hell never had much of a hand in anything

"but humanity being in control is very Pratchett!!!" yes, but killing the whole universe just to prove that point isn't. the death of 8 billion people was just a device to prove that humanity is capable of both beauty and horror? "sin, young man, is when you treat people like things."

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Aziraphale (good omens) is a blond, whimsical, optimist, who craves romance and adventures with the love of his life and reads too many books.

Dougal (two strangers carry a cake across new york) is a blond, excitable optimist who craves adventure in NYC and finds love along the way and watches too many movies.

Stede Bonnet (our flag means death) is a blond, excitable optimist who craves adventure and finds freedom and love while making it all more whimsical and reading too many books.

Two Strangers (carry a cake across New York)

imagination (1963) - harold ordway rugg

Shrodinger's razor: an unopened box may or may not contain the solution to the story; there's no way to know without opening it. (example: Monk)

Schrodinger's Gun: Treat every gun as if it's loaded unless you've checked it yourself.