๐ot โ gonna โ let โ you โ become โ a โ ๐artyr. =อออ โ ๐ด ๐ not โ gonna โ let โ you โ pick โ up โ the โ ๐un.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Qualityโ Free Actions
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
A/N: This was so fun to write! I got a bit carried away in writing this, spent about three days on it ๐ญ Since the poll's gonna be up for a while, I decided to finish this request. I hope you enjoy!
Next fic is a George Weasley one, promise! <3
Warning(s): Fluff, Cedric yearning, user is an introvert with like two friends, user is a year younger than Cedric (briefly mentioned, doesn't impact the story in any way), takes place between the first task and the Yule ball, I tried to make it as slow of a burn as possible ๐ญ๐
Word count: 5.8k (sorry)
Dividers by @angeliicide !! Love her downn <3
Love to @p03tryv0r3 for being my pretty little beta reader
Cedric wasnโt supposed to be like this; he was better than this. He repeated the words like a mantra in his head as he bid his farewells to Ernie and Ben, practically tripping over himself to get to the library. It was the only time he ever saw you.
He didnโt know when it began, when his carefree charm began to feel intentional whenever he caught a glance of you, when his movements felt stiffer whenever heโd hear your voice in the distance. Maybe it began last week, when you smiled at him after he helped you get a book in the library. Maybe it was three months ago, when you burst into the great hall, flushed and breathless with laughter.ย
Maybe it was always inside him, from the moment he saw you sorted into Hufflepuff in your first year during his second, the way your grin widened into a relieved gasp when you heard it, how you ran over to the badgerโs table, sat next to him without another thought. He still remembered how red he got when your knee pressed against his, how he hid his face away from yours so you wouldnโt see.ย
Since then, subconsciously, your figure was the first his eyes searched for in every single room and hallway. Maybe he didnโt mean to, but he couldnโt help it. It was stupid, really; he couldnโt figure out what it was about you that took his heart hostage. Maybe the way your fingers brushed books like they were sacred, how you whispered to yourself in class, like your brain didnโt hear your thoughts unless you voiced them aloud.
But maybe it was because you never performed for him. You werenโt like the girls who batted their eyes at him, squeezed his biceps, or laughed much too hard at jokes that truly werenโt that funny. You were reserved, a quiet presence, like lingering perfume. Your seraphic nature drew him in and wrapped his heart around your fist.
He shouldโve been embarrassed at how pathetic he was being; he was Cedric Diggory. Every single girl in the school either thought he was attractive or was hopelessly obsessed with him; even guys got all giddy at the prospect of being friends with him. Safe to say, he was liked by all. Even Victor Krum slaps him on the back and yells โDiggy!โ whenever he passes him and the other Durmstrang boys.
He forced himself to slow down as he neared the library, smoothing over his tie and smiling at a girl who giggled hysterically to her friends afterwards. He let the reassurance of his effect on women calm his nerves before he pushed the doors and walked in. The quiet hum and bustle of the library enveloped him as he walked across the room, towards the back of the library, the last few shelves. Either heโd find you, or he'd have to flash his prefect badge at whatever couple currently sucking face back there.
What would he say? Did he have to pretend to look for a book? Maybe he could use the second task as an excuseโ
โShoot!โ You hissed, dropping your nose-high pile of books in your arms as you collided with his very solid chest. He stiffened upon seeing you, absolutely unprepared. He didnโt even practice a line; what was he even going to say? Sorry?ย
Maybe start with moving, Diggory, he hissed to himself, bending down to crouch in front of you as you scrambled to pick up the scattered books. โMerlin, Iโm a ditz, Iโm so sorryโโ you blurted out, face heating up, ears burning.ย
โNo, no, sโalright. Shouldโve been watching, no?โ He said with an easy smile, deciding he needed to be extra charming to woo you. He took the books from your hands swiftly, tilting his head to the side. โWhereโre you going with half the library, love?โ
You stiffened, cheeks burning as you averted your eyes and took a step back. โA table,โ you huffed quickly, reaching for your books once more, which made him frown. โWhich? Mโsure you could use some help, and as your prefectโโ
โThatโs fine!โ You said a bit too quickly, pulling up your yellow and black Hufflepuff scarf to your nose and grabbing the pile from his hands, wobbling a bit after jerkily rushing away from him. You rushed off to a table with two other Hufflepuffs he didnโt recognize and scrambled into your seat.
Smooth.
He bit back a groan and proceeded to aimlessly wander the library so as not to make it seem that all he came here for was you. He admired the walls and the floor for what seemed like hours, glancing over to your table every few minutes to see you and your stack of books still there. You hadnโt looked up once. Hadnโt even checked to see if he was around, nor even glanced around the room.ย
He frowned, looking around the room. A few girls from Ravenclaw were staring at him, quickly looking away when he glanced their way. He then locked his gaze on a few Beauxbatons girls, and even they smiled and whispered amongst each other.ย
He was the most popular guy in school, and yet, youโd just run from him. No one did that, not even the shy ones. Even theyโd nervously smile and fluster at him being the one to notice them.ย
Around you, he felt like Superman without his powers. You seemed so... Unaffected. Not even in the cold, unbothered way. In the way a bunny runs when it hears the crunching of leaves nearby.
He pouted to himself, running a frustrated hand through his hair and leaving the library, fighting the urge to look back to see if maybe you were watching him leave, that maybe you were playing hard to get.
He shut the doors behind him and groaned and grumbled the rest of the way to the Hufflepuff Basement.ย
โCโmon, Ceddy, this has turned pathetic at this point.โ Ernie huffed as he dropped down on his four-poster bed, leaning back with an exhausted groan. โYouโre seriously losing your mind over a girl whoโs spoken to you a total of, what, maybe six times? Seven if you count today.โย
Cedric just offered a glare in return, running a hand down his face, immediately regretting his decision to tell his friends about you and what happened in the library two weeks ago. โLook, itโs not like that. Sheโs somethinโ else, Iโm telling you.โ He said defensively, making Ernie roll his eyes.
โCed, hate to say it, but Ernieโs right on this one.โ Ben muttered, passing Cedric a water bottle before moving to sit next to him. โYou donโt know this girl. She sits alone, almost all the time. Has she even shown interest in you?โ
โMaybe sheโs shy!โ Cedric protested, eliciting groans from both boys now.ย
Ernie huffed out a laugh. โThis is just masochistic at this point, Ceddy! Yโknow any girlโd throw themselves at you, yeah?โ He said with a snort, narrowing his eyes towards the golden boy.ย
Cedric just pursed his lips and sighed, his ears flushing red. โItโs- she feels different, okay?โ His voice was so soft that Ernie and Ben held off from rebutting. Ben squeezed his shoulder with a sigh.ย
โI donโt get you.โ He sighed, standing up and grabbing Ernieโs wrist. โWeโve got to meet McGonagall for Transfigโ, need to ask her to extend the due date.โ
Ernie gave Cedric a smirk before leaving the trioโs shared dorm with Ben, leaving the prefect there with his thoughts.ย
Cedric let his head fall into his hands before groaning, tugging lightly at his hair. Heโd never been so desperate for someone to talk to him, never. He never had to worry about that kind of thing. If he wanted to talk to someone, there was never any doubt that theyโd be glad to talk to him.ย
But you. Gods, you. It was unfair; cruel, almostโ the things you did to his heart, his head, and his sleep. You did it all without even trying, without even thinking of him. Floating in your own world, content in your own bubble.ย
It felt like he had to prove his worth to you, to prove to you that keeping him around is worth it, that heโs worth it. Worth you. He doubted that you were measuring peopleโs values and letting them in selectively; you were reserved, heโd gathered that. You relaxed in solitude, in silence.ย
Heโd tried everything in his arsenal, was the most charming heโd ever been, but you still never stayed to exchange more than eight words with him. He couldnโt understand where he was going wrong.
He stood up with a sigh, hands brushing over his robes as if he needed to do something with them lest he were to tug at his own hair again. He walked over to his desk, clipped on his prefect badge, and left his room for his nightly rounds. Maybe itโd distract him. Maybe heโd be occupied.
Itโd be the same as always, though. Heโd wander around and wonder about you. Were you sleeping? Awake? He felt his heart squeeze, fingers twitching by his sides, before he clenched them into fists.ย
The most charming boy in school, my arse.ย
You had a routine, you followed it. You woke up, did your lessons, sat for your meals, and then you spent the rest of your day in the library or in your dorm. What else is a girl to do? You didnโt have anyone to talk to but the same two people, and you couldnโt blame them. You shied away from absolutely everything. Eye contact flustered you to no end, and talking to people felt like having a clock ticking down the seconds, waiting for you to say something thatโd horribly embarrass you or make you look like an utter freak. You didnโt know how to talk to people, didnโt know how to keep them interested. It was too much energy to have to assess someone and understand how to talk to them; it became easier to just stop trying, and it felt like it suited you.ย
Sure, it got lonely, but the silence was comfortable in its predictability, in its presence. There was no suddenness in the solace of your own presence; you were aware. You didnโt have to please anyone, didnโt have to perform. The performance is what truly exhausted you. You knew that not everyone was some narcissist trying to use your shy nature to their advantage, but your mother always told you to be careful. Never be naive, never be easy.
So you turned difficult. Not in the loud way; scowling and scoffing your way through life.ย
Unknowingly, unconsciously. It became harder to navigate through conversations, and you gave up with the rest of them. You had your own world, your own things to keep you busy. You skipped the parties; the noise and people proved to be more trouble than you ever thought it would be worth.
โY/n!โ Samantha hissed for the fourth time, finally snapping you out of whatever haze you were stuck in, making your cheeks flush. โIf I have to repeat all that, Iโll kill you.โ She grumbled, frowning now, hands on her hips. You gave her a sheepish smile, leaning back on your four-poster bed, having changed out of your robes and into your pyjamas for the night.
โSorry, Sam. Go on, something about Arithmacy?โ You tried, only to snort at her now offended reaction. โYou think I spend my free time talking about Arithmacy?! No! That one bloke from Ravenclawโs been dodging me for a straight week now! Youโd think heโd reject a girl with class.โ She hissed, dropping down on the bed next to you with a pained sigh.ย
โOr maybe just accept heโs not into you,โ Shlok said from across the room, currently putting on whatever expensive cream Samantha bought all over his hands, maybe her shoot up and screech at him about it being face cream. โOh, shut up! Shut up!โ She hissed, snatching her cream and pushing him towards the beds.ย
โHe doesnโt seem very nice, Sam.โ You murmured delicately, tilting your head towards her as she aggressively sorted through her skin-care products. She was thorough, you had to admit. โMaybe you need a stricter screening processโโ
โWhat I needโโ She hissed, marching back into the room, frowning. โIs for Shlok to man up and beat him up on my behalf! What goodโs being friends with a bloke if he isnโt going to beat up my shitty flings?!โ She huffed, scowling at the boy who simply shrugged behind his glasses. โCanโt say I blame the poor guy, youโre sodding psychoticโโ He mused before being crudely attacked by a pillow.
โY/n! Look at him! Tell him!โ You bit back a snicker, covering your mouth as you watched Shlok prepare to launch the cushion back at Samantha. โMaybe you should try dating someone in our house, Sammy. You might meet nicer people. Hufflepuffs are sweet, no?โ You offered, making her scowl soften in consideration before she was pummeled by a pillow, followed by Shlok crying out, โTake that, devil woman!โ
Hufflepuffs are sweet, you repeated to yourself, drowning out the brewing warfare baking in your dorm room. You thought back to nice Hufflepuffs you knew, though you hardly spoke to any of them. Your mind drifted to the one Hufflepuff that seemed to pop up the most. Cedric Diggory.ย
Obviously, you hadnโt told your friends about him; theyโd torment you relentlessly about him. You werenโt daft, you knew of his reputation; the most sought-after boy in all of Hogwarts. Hail Mary of Hufflepuff. He was attractive, charismatic, and at the top of his class. You understood the appeal, yes, but you found it quite confusing as to why people lost themselves over a guy. Attractiveness shouldnโt override basic etiquette, in your opinion. Of course, you were naturally shy. Being around someone so social felt like standing in direct, burning sunlight.ย
You didnโt understand it, why he spoke to you. Maybe it was a prefect thing; checking up on his house. Maybe it was a popular kid thing, feeling the need to include everyone. You sighed, eyes darting between Samantha and Shlok as they started flinging anything in reach at each other, eliciting a groan from you.
Your eyes moved to the clock on the wall, 9:36 pm. Your curfew began at 10. Without glancing at either of your friends, you smoothed over your pyjamas and slid on your slippers, slipping out od the dorm without interrupting your friends' bickering. You made your way through the common room and out the door, your wand tucked into the waistband of your pyjama pants.ย
Hogwarts at night was your absolute favourite, though you never really let yourself bask in it, preferring your dorm over all else. You wandered through the halls, avoiding prefects purely out of fear of socialising, not bothering to let your wand light the way, allowing the darkness of the night to envelop you.ย
After about ten minutes, you felt the consequences of wandering around Hogwarts at night in just your jammies, the cold biting through your thin cotton pyjamas that definitely werenโt built to withstand the tundra air of the castleโs halls. You shivered for the sixth time, your entire body shaking like youโd just been crucio-d. A soft ice-wrapped curse escaped your hushed voice as you rushed down the hall to get back to the dorms before you saw something turn the corner.ย
To say you handled it with grace would be generous.ย
For some unfathomable reason, you decided that the next order of action was to cover your face in classic โif I canโt see them, they canโt see meโ fashion.ย
โY/n?โ A soft yet incredibly bemused voice made you lift your head, gaping.ย ย
Of fucking course it was him who found you. Who else?
โDiggory.โ You mumbled, offering him a polite, tight-lipped smile. He frowned, swallowing down the flutter in his chest erupting from simply seeing you. โYou canโt be out here.โ He said gently, making you wince. โGosh, I know, I shouldโve brought a scarf or a jacket, Iโm never usually this carelessโโ
โEr, no. I mean, you very literally canโt. Curfew. Prefect. You know?โ He said, trying to be as delicate as possible; reprimanding you was incredibly uncomfortable for him. Acting like you werenโt his every waking thought. โThough I do agree it wasnโt very clever to be out here in that.โ He said with a soft chuckle, undoing his scarf before stepping forward to offer it to you.
โMerlin, right, sorry.โ You said quickly, heat flooding to your cheeks at the sheer embarrassment of assuming, mindlessly taking the scarf in your embarrassment before stilling and offering it back to him. โI-Iโm fine. Really. Thanks.โ You said quickly, making a frown pull at his lips. โAs your prefect,โ he started, trying to put extra emphasis on his role as head of house. โI am to make sure my house members are alright. Just wear it for the time being, I can take it from you early morning, that alright?โย
You just frowned, not wishing to continue this interaction by arguing. You wrapped the yellow fabric around your neck, it already being heated from having been wrapped around him for maybe the past few hours. With a shudder at the newfound warmth, you looked up at him. โThanks. Very sorry.โ You said quickly, moving to walk past him. โHave a good nightโwalkโrounds.โ You choked out, your heart now racing, eyes on the floor as you practically speed walked away from him, a soft โGoodnightโ coming from behind you as you rushed off to your house.
You groaned once you got far enough, pulling the scarf over your nose before getting progressively more flustered at the deep breath of his cologne entering your nose. You felt stupid for running off now; he probably felt offended. Maybe regretted helping you at all.ย
You felt your heart pound the whole way back, trying rid the interaction from your mind. It was a short one, and maybe if you werenโt in the headspace of eligible Hufflepuffs, you may have been able to. Unfortunately, you couldnโt shake the thought. Cedric was thirsted over by the entire school, youโd never batted an eye before, but his tiny act of generosity or maybe just duty, made you just a tad bit more aware of him, you could say.
Upon entering your dorm, you felt yourself pulled into a smothering hug. โWhere did you go?! Itโs been an hour?! When did you leave!?โ Samantha shrieked, pulling you into the room where Shlok sat on the floor, green facemask on his face. You turned to Samantha to see the same facemask on her aswell. You turned sheepish, letting her sit you down and push your hair away from your face as she applied it on your face.
โWanted to go on a walk for a bit. Figured Iโd be back sooner.โ You said softly, shuddering at the cold cream. โWell, you shouldโveโโ She began before stopping, freezing where she sat. She pulled back, turned around as if to check something before snatching the scarf around your neck. โWhoโs is this?!โ She shrieked, making Shlok sit up in curiosity. You felt your cheeks burn. โHey, Sam-โ
Shlok snorted and snatched it from Samantha, opening the scarf to find the stitched initials each school garment often has. โCedric D?โ He huffed, brows furrowing before he gasped ever so dramatically, throwing the scarf at Samantha, making her gasp in turn. โDiggory?!โ She cried, eyes wide. โMerlin, youโre snogging Diggoryโโ
โNo! No!โ You hissed indignantly, snatching the scarf back as heat flooded your face. โHe gave me his scarf cause I didnโt have one, and heโs decent!โ you went on, though the justification fell on deaf ears as they grinned at each other shamelessly. โYou were right!โ Shlok huffed, making Samantha giggle in glee.
You could just gape in confusion, moving closer. โRight about what?โ You huffed, exasperated. Samantha pulled you closer by the wrist. โDiggory totally likes you!โ She squealed, making you frown. You didnโt believe it, the prospect even annoyed you. You hardly ever spoke to the bloke, hardly ever saw him.
โHar har.โ You said dryly, deadpanning over to your beaming friends. Shlok snorted, poking your side. โYouโve seriously never noticed how much he stares at you?โ He mused, making your frown deepen. That got your attention.
โStares?โ โStares!โ
Samantha put Cedricโs scarf on the table, still buzzing with excitement. โAll the time! Every time heโs in the same area as you, he just stares! Shlok thought it was because youโre taking 6th year classes, but I knew it was becauseโโ
โWait. Wait, no. He canโt possibly!โ You protested, your heart picking up again. It was just a scarf, how could it confirm something this massive? โHeโs just a gentleman! He was just being nice.โ
You gave them an unamused look, which barely changed anything as they promptly ignored your pessimism. Samantha rolled her eyes, shrugging. โHe still likes you, Y/n.โ
The frown on your face deepened as you crossed your arms over your chest. โWell, in all the times heโd come up to me, heโs never once flirtedโโ
โCome up to you?! Heโs come up to you?!โ Shlok basically shrieked.ย
Oh, the drama.
You winced as they began hammering you with questions about what heโd say, what heโd do. You told them everything, the awkward interactions, and even walked them through tonightโs interaction, word-for-word. By the time you were done, they were positively certain Diggory had it in for you. You still couldnโt believe it, the expression on your face making your disbelief horribly obvious.
โOkayโokay! How about this?โ Samantha went on, sitting on the bed. โMaybe donโt instantly run off when you give him his scarf. He wakes up pretty early, no? Just wake up early and sit with him in the common room or something!โ
The prospect of talking to him already made you want to collapse and die, but Shlok cut you out of the thought process. โWhatโs the harm, ey? If he wants to leave, he can just get up and walk off. If he wants to talk, all youโll have to do is answer questions and sit there in front of a fire.โ
That made you consider it, your scowl softening as you weighed the pros and cons. You supposed he was right. You didnโt need to do much; you didnโt even have to initiate anything.
Reluctantly, you parted your lips. โI guessโโ โLovely!โ Samantha chirped, pulling you to the bathroom along with Shlok to wipe off the face mask.
A soft laugh left you as you scrubbed the dried cream off your face, Samantha already going off on Shlok for using her face wash as hand wash. You already survived crazy, you figured you could survive sitting near Cedric Diggory.ย
Saying Cedric woke up was questionable; he wasnโt sure how long he really even spent asleep after his interaction with you. Pathetic, really. He was near you for about five minutes, and it was all he could think aboutโ how you looked in the darkness, bathed in nothing but moonlight. How his bigger scarf looked around your shoulders, warming your nose. How your eyes looked in the dark, the way his last name sounded, wrapped in your tongue.
Those thoughts followed him since he woke up at the ass crack of dawn, 5 am. He didnโt know why, but he preferred the quiet lull of the early morning, the ability to go to the kitchen, request the house-elves a personalised breakfast, and just sit before the fire for about an hour till everyone else began to wake up. No rush to get ready, no drowsiness in class, and heโd always be exhausted by eleven. Win-win.ย
He made his way downstairs from the boys dormitories, rubbing one end of the towel around his shoulder onto his damp hair moving across the common room before a figure in front of the fireplace made him do a double take.
You.
And by Merlin, if seeing you didnโt make his heart falter in his chest.
โY/n?โ He said softly, his voice rough from sleep. He neared the couches around the fire, looking as you nervously turned your head to smile towards him. โGโmorning, Diggory.โ You said in turn, his heart fluttering at the way the early morning softened your face.
He grinned widely, rounding the couch to sit beside you, tilting his head towards you. Still in yesterdayโs pyjamas, but your hair was a bit tidier, as if youโd brushed it one too many times, and now you had a chunky Hufflepuff sweater on as well. Nevertheless, he still found you hopelessly endearing. He hoped he wasnโt giving himself away with how pathetically he was looking at you. โMorning, love. Youโre up early, arenโt you?โ
You flustered, hands tightening around his scarf, which you had sitting in your lap. You looked down at it, then him, offering it up. โScarf. Your scarf. HereโHereโs your scarf.โ You mumbled, making his heart swell as he reached for it, tying it around your neck. Bold move, he knew; at this point, however, he was hellbent on making sure you took a liking to him. โItโs cold this early, yโknow? How about you keep it for a bit longer? Iโll snag it once you get yours on.โ He said with a soft smile, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary before pulling back.
You felt your face grow hot as you squirmed away from him before nodding stiffly. โThanks.โ
He wet his lips, eyes softening at your shyness. Heโs never really been this close to you before, it knocked the breath from him. โI.. donโt really see you at parties often. Not your scene?โ He asked softly, making you shake your head.ย
โBit loud for my taste,โ you admitted, turning to look at him. โHate being surrounded in strangers, yโknow?โ He didnโt. Heโd never really been in a situation where he didnโt know someone enough to speak to them, but he nodded nevertheless.
โWhat is your scene, then?โ He prodded, running a hand through his half-dried hair. He wasnโt expecting much out of you, given your introvertedness, so when he saw the way your eyes lit up; it felt like the world had stopped spinning for just a beat.
โThe library.โ You said, smiling softly. He thought youโd stop there, go back to tugging at your sleeves.ย
Boy, was he wrong.
โThereโs a section, near the back but not in the restricted section, because I know we canโt go back there. A lot of old books no one ever reads are tucked back there. I donโt read them either, really. Mainly biographies of old magic folk who created very popular spells and whatnot, but I sit there a lot. By myself, mostly. I like my friends, I really like them, but I often sit there and not talk and read.โ You rambled, talking quickly as if you were scared he might get up and walk off mid-monologue. โโso the books I do read are mainly thrillers these days. I wore out the romance section last year, but I hear theyโre going to add to the collection soon! In the meantime, through, Iโve been reading โFollowing Ms. Brightonโ andโโ
Cedric sat there in stunned silence, his eyes slowly filling with more and more adoration as you began to explain the entire plot of the book, chapter by chapter, thoroughly, to him. Admittedly, heโd never been the thrilled type, but heโd be lying if he said he didnโt cling to your every word like thereโd be a quiz on it later.ย
He didnโt notice that he was smiling until you told him the ending, wetting your lips as you realised youโd been rambling for nearly thirty minutes. โIt sounds amazing,โ he said softly, watching the way you averted your gaze, flustering. โDo you have it? Could I borrow it?โ he continued, making you nearly gasp before you beamed, nodding furiously. โFโcourse! Itโs great, Iโm sure youโd like it! I think more people should give it a read, honestly,โ you told him, picking at your sleeve.
His heart fluttered as a soft, breathy laugh left him. โMerlin, youโre sweet.โ He mumbled, eyes soft with a type of fondness that merged into unadulterated adoration. Your smile softened at the compliment, looking at the fire. โYouโre nice, too. Thanks for listening,โ you murmured over the crackle of the hearth.
He simply nods, gazing at your side profile for a bit longer before catching himself and leaning back on the couch. โYeah, โcourse. Anytime,โ he meant it, he really did. Thereโs nothing heโd love to listen to more than your incessant ramblings about books and plots and portrayals of modern society. The sheer joy that filled your face at being able to talk about something you enjoyed would stay in his heart and his head for weeks.ย
The two of you sat in silence from thereon. Relaxing into the quiet of the warm common room. He liked it, being quiet with you. He knew youโd like it too, if he gathered anything about you; silence was your thing. You stared at the fire like it was whispering secrets in the form of smoke, and you wished to decipher it. He kept staring at you, tracing the lines of your face, the curve of your neck; every twitch your fingers made was noted in his mind, as a mental list of things you couldnโt control yet drove him crazy.ย
It stayed like that, the warm silence. Neither broke it; neither wanted to.ย
The past few weeks upcoming Yule ball felt different, fuller almost.
Youโd seen Cedric around more often, practically every single day. Always getting a chance to sit with you in the evenings after classes, you even began waking up earlier just to be near him in the mornings.ย
Samantha and Shlok noticed, of course, they did. They didnโt react how you think they would, though. They didnโt blow it up or try to embarrass you, theyโd just grin whenever you came back from hanging out with him. The lack of teasing helped you melt away the awkwardness, the nervousness.ย
Today was an exception. You hadnโt seen him at all.ย
Usually on Saturdays, heโs more visible, pulling his Quidditch team to practice in the mornings; youโd always catch sight of them. You didnโt today. Not at breakfast, nor during lunch.
It bothered you, a small bundle of nerves building in your lower belly. You squirmed your way through Hogsmeade, and now you were letting Samantha and Shlok ramble on and on about their Yule ball dates. You caught the gist of it. Something, something, twink. Something, something, muscles.ย
You were too busy worrying about Cedric. What if he were sick? Sad? Heโd become part of your daily, his absence felt like a rift in the balance. A shift in the force. A disruption of your carefully crafted routine.
It didnโt take long till Shlok was tugging you up to pull you out of the dorm along with Sam as they decided to sneak out of the castle and sit in the courtyard. You let him without protest, too wrapped up in your own spiralling. You guessed they saw how intense you looked and decided fresh air and stars were just what the doctor ordered.
They tugged you along, through the quiet halls and past lingering prefects and professors till you reached the courtyard.
You heard them mumble something about getting snacks from the kitchen, making you sigh and walk over to the fountain in the middle of the stone courtyard, sitting at the edge in wait.
The sound of the wind and the silence made the biting cold in your face subside. You were dressed warmly this time, at least; drowning in a chunky grandpa sweater and the baggiest wool pants you could find. The sounds of winter were rudely interrupted by approaching footsteps, making you ruffle your hair a bit.
โHey, Sam, you got me those pretzels I like, rightโโ
โHi.โ
Your head whipped around so fast you swore you heard your neck crack. You knew that voice. You hadnโt heard it all day.
And there that voice was, dressed in a rather hideous jumper and dark loose-fit jeans, a bouquet of flowers that thankfully werenโt roses in his hand, the other nervously running through his infuriatingly perfect hair.
His smile made something melt inside you; your bones felt liquid as you stood from where you sat at the fountain. โCedric. Hiโhi.โ you mumbled, completely bewildered. His grin both widened and softened and it did horrible things to your heart.
โSorry for doing this in the snow. Out here.โ He said softly, walking up to you, cheeks flushed because of the cold and the way your eyes were bugging out of their sockets in pure shock. The cogs in your head were turning incredibly slowly.ย
โIโm sorry, doing what?โ You breathed as he took both your hands in his one, still holding the bouquet in the other. Your breathing suddenly turned manual as you looked up at him in the soft moonlit glow of the courtyard.ย
His eyes softened with something impossibly fond, looking at your awestruck expression. โYou make me feel stupid sometimes, you know? My tongue feels like it stops working whenever you look at me like that. Like Iโve hung the stars.โ
A soft breathless laugh left him and made your heart swell. He offered you the flowers; you took them. โYou can say no,โ he continued, tilting his head ever so slightly. โI wonโt throw a fit, I swear. I know Iโm a champion and itโll be a lot of pressure to be my date because of the championโs dance andโโ
โCedric.โ โRight, right, right. Sorry.โ
His cheeks flushed red, one hand still holding yours, the other stuffed in the pocket of his jeans. โIโd love it if youโd go to the Yule ball with me.โ He whispered, eyes peering into yours with an intensity that, for once, didnโt overwhelm you. โWould you like to?โ
Your chest felt fuzzy, blinking stupidly up at him like your brain hadnโt quite caught on before you gasped. โOh, yeah! Yes, yeah!โ You sputtered, lips widening into a wide grin as a soft squeal left you. You hopped up and down in joy before throwing your hands around his neck.
Cedric wrapped his arms around your waist, stuffing his face into your shoulder as he let out a long, shuddering sigh. โFucking hell, you terrify me.โ He breathed into your sweater, making you giggle.
Being around someone so social and extroverted made you feel like you were standing in direct, burning sunlight.ย
Maybe you preferred the warmth after all.
ยฉ maeverrrbโ donโt copy, repost, or translate without my permission. do not use/feed my works to AI.
Could you do a Tonowari x fem!Metkayina reader where sheโs chosen to be Tsahik and his mate, but he thinks she only wants the titleโthen slowly realizes she genuinely cares in little, quiet ways?
Summary: You were chosen by Tonowariโs mother to be Tsahik and his mate but he never gave you a chance. Until he began to see the quiet ways you loved him.
Part I: The Choice
The reef glowed in the early morning light, beams of sun slipping through the waterโs surface and catching on coral outcroppings, painting the village in soft cyan. You stood with your feet planted in the sand, arms at your side, the sea breeze brushing your braids back from your face.
You had never expected this.
โThe Great Mother guides my choice,โ the current Tsahik said solemnly, her voice echoing around the gathering space. โAnd she has whispered a name to me.โ
A quiet hush settled over the Metkayina clan as eyes turned toward the platform. Beside you stood Tonowari, tall and composed, arms crossed over his broad chest. He didnโt look at you. He hadnโt since youโd stepped onto the dais.
Tsahik continued. โMy son, the future Oloโeyktan, must walk beside a woman not only of strength but of deep heart. One who knows the sea, and its silence. One who will care for our people as surely as she cares for what is unseen.โ
You swallowed, throat dry despite the salt air.
โI name her,โ she said, reaching out and placing her hand on your shoulder, โas the future Tsahik of the Metkayina and as the one chosen to walk beside my son, Tonowari.โ
Gasps spread through the gathered clan like ripples from a stone. Some were pleased. Some surprised. Some clearlyโฆ less than thrilled.
โSheโs so young.โ
โI thought it would be Neyla.โ
โTonowari will never agree.โ
But it was done. The choosing was sacred.
You bowed your head in reverence, then dared to glance at Tonowari beside you.
His face was impassive, carved from stone. Not one flicker of surprise. No joy, no protest. Just a tight nod as he stepped forward and said, โAs you wish, Mother.โ
And then he stepped back again.
That evening, the firepit roared with celebration. Fish roasted. Elders sang old songs. Dancers wove across the sands in spirals of movement. You sat at the edge of the feast, untouched fruit in your lap, watching Tonowari.
He was surrounded by others warriors, friends, elders but somehow still apart. Like a reef too sharp to swim near.
You didnโt speak to him that night. And he didnโt seek you out.
The days that followed were quiet. At least, for you.
The clan welcomed you with the smiles they saved for duty. You were trained under the Tsahik, taught rituals, healing, the ways of Eywa. You excelled quietly, without need for praise. But whispers followed your shadow wherever you swam.
โShe is clever, yes, but was she the right choice?โ
โShe doesnโt speak much. Perhaps she is unsure.โ
โI hear Tonowari avoids her. Maybe there will be another choosing.โ
You bore it all. Silently. Stoically.
Even when you passed Tonowari on the way to the reef, and he barely nodded at you. Even when he walked behind you during rituals but never beside you. Even when he allowed others to flirt and laugh and touch his arm as if you did not exist.
He was never cruel. But kindness? That was something else entirely.
You thought, once, of asking him outright: Why do you hate me so? But the words died on your tongue each time you met his distant eyes.
Still, you did what you were meant to do.
You watched. You learned. You remembered.
Tonowari liked grilled fish, not boiled. He dipped his sea fruit in crushed shell spice, never salt. He preferred silence after long swims, not chatter. His armband had three beads carved with his fatherโs crest he rubbed them when he was anxious.
So you cooked how he liked. Served him during communal meals without fanfare. You replaced the fraying sash of his wrap before he noticed it was worn. You wove a new loincloth for him and left it quietly on his platform, stitched with small green spirals the same pattern as the tattoo near his collarbone.
He didnโt thank you.
But he wore it.
Tonowari was a leader before he was a man. At least, thatโs what the elders always said.
You watched him from afar more often than not giving orders before a storm, swimming at the head of every migration, holding the young warriorsโ gaze with a kind of gravity that could pull stars from the sky.
And yet, he rarely looked your way.
The absence of hatred wasnโt kindness. It was just emptiness. A space between you wide as the ocean, made wider by every day you stood at his side in ritual but never in spirit.
You stopped expecting warmth from him. You started giving it anyway.
It began with a small basket of food.
The clan had returned from an exhausting dive, hunting large, armored reef beasts. Youโd watched from the shore, preparing herbs and bandages in case someone came back wounded. When Tonowari emerged from the sea last, his face was drawn tight, and his shoulder bore a ragged slice along the deltoid.
You didnโt speak. You just approached, cleaned it with practiced hands, and rubbed in a cooling salve from sea anemone roots. He watched you in silence but didnโt flinch.
Later that evening, you prepared his meal separately. Not as Tsahik. Not as some ceremonial gesture.
But as a woman whoโd watched him enough to know what calmed his nerves.
Grilled fish, citrus-glazed seaweed, fruit sweetened with crushed shells everything he favored, wrapped in soft cloth and left by his sleeping mat. No note. No fanfare.
The next morning, the basket was returned to your platform. Empty. Clean. Carefully folded.
And not a word was said.
You noticed small things after that.
He didnโt leave the communal fire as early anymore. Sometimes he lingered near where you sat with Tsahik, listening quietly.
He started walking closer beside you. Never touching, never lingering too long but no longer avoiding you either.
One night, a young woman from the weaving groups placed her hand on Tonowariโs arm, laughing brightly at something only she heard.
You expected him to allow it. To remain cold and still as always.
But he gently removed her hand. Said, โRespect the future Tsahik.โ
The girl paled. Apologized. Walked away.
You were too stunned to speak. But Tonowari looked at you for the briefest of moments.
And nodded.
That evening, you sat alone by the reef, braiding sea thread into long cords for childrenโs charms. Your fingers moved from memory, your thoughts drifting like foam on the waves.
You didnโt hear him approach.
โYou sit alone often,โ came his voice, low and calm.
You blinked. Looked up.
Tonowari stood there, arms at his sides, expression unreadable. The moonlight carved soft lines into his cheekbones, his tattoos catching the blue hue of the night tide.
โIt is quiet here,โ you answered.
He sat down beside you. Not too close but not far, either.
After a moment, he said, โYou knew I liked citrus.โ
Your fingers paused in their braid. โYes.โ
โYou made the fish perfectly. Even the texture.โ
โI listen,โ you said simply.
He turned to face you. โWhy?โ
The word struck deeper than it should have.
You met his eyes. โBecause I care.โ
He stared at you. Really looked. As if seeing you not as a duty or a name but as a person flesh and thought, desire and devotion, waiting patiently on the other side of silence.
He looked away then, brows drawn. โI thoughtโฆ you only wanted the title. Like the others.โ
You couldโve laughed. Or cried.
Instead, you said, โI never asked for this. But I never asked to be overlooked, either.โ
The wind picked up. His fingers twitched on his knee.
โI see that now,โ he said, quietly.
In the weeks that followed, the space between you began to close.
He didnโt become someone new overnight. But Tonowari started seeking your counsel more during clan meetings. Asked your opinion before the Tsahik had a chance to answer for you.
Once, he brought you a carved comb made of reefbone. It wasnโt fancy. But the teeth were wide enough for your thick braids, and it had a wave motif carved into the handle one youโd painted onto your sleeping mat as a child.
โHow did you know I like this design?โ you asked him, genuinely curious.
He shrugged. โI listen.โ
You smiled, and this time, he saw it.
There were still bad days.
Tonowari was under pressure. From his people. From his own fears. You learned to recognize the way his shoulders tensed before a council meeting or how his jaw flexed when someone questioned his authority.
But on those days, you made sure his meal was waiting. You touched his arm briefly before a ritual. You whispered, You are enough, once, just before he walked onto the central platform.
He didnโt say anything.
But he took your hand in his when the chants began.
One night, a storm blew hard over the outer reef. Warriors were dispatched to anchor structures and bring in supplies from drifting platforms. Tonowari returned soaked to the bone, bleeding from a coral scrape on his thigh, his hair plastered to his face.
You were waiting.
You didnโt ask. You simply pulled him into your platform hut, dried his arms, and dressed the wound in silence.
He watched you the whole time.
Finally, his voice cracked the quiet. โI do not deserve this from you.โ
You tied the last knot in the bandage. โWhy not?โ
โI doubted you.โ
You met his eyes. โYouโre not the only one who has.โ
โBut I was the one who mattered.โ
He exhaled sharply. Reached for your wrist stopped. Then, slowly, he brushed your fingers with his.
โI see you,โ he whispered.
You froze.
But your heart leapt. Because it wasnโt the formal greeting, the rote phrase of ceremony.
It was real. Raw. His voice broke on the words.
โI see you,โ he said again, this time steadier.
You curled your fingers into his. โIโve seen you every day, Tonowari.โ
He bent his forehead to yours.
And for once, there was no sea between you.
Tonowari didnโt kiss you that night.
But something in the air shifted between you. A thick, unseen thing. Like the pause between waves soft, expectant.
After that storm, he no longer hovered near you like someone fulfilling a duty. He sought you. Sought your presence, your thoughts, your quiet eyes.
And for the first time, he gave in return.
It began with a cloak.
Youโd woven him many garments before shawls, wrist wraps, satchels. But heโd never made you anything. Not because he was selfish. Because he didnโt know how.
So when he approached you holding a seafoam-colored wrap, edges uneven and clearly stitched by someone still learning, you nearly dropped the basket of dried herbs in your arms.
โI wanted you to have this,โ he said, voice low and careful. โYou get cold when the wind shifts.โ
You took it with trembling fingers. The fabric was rough in places, but warm. It smelled like reef and him.
You pressed it to your cheek.
โThank you,โ you said softly. โThis means more than you know.โ
His throat bobbed with an unspoken word. But he only nodded and walked away.
That night, you slept wrapped in it.
Time passed gently.
Tonowari began joining you during morning meditations. Once, he helped you carry herbal satchels to the tidepool children. Another time, he braided your hair while you rested from a long healing ceremony, his fingers slow and reverent.
He didnโt speak much. But when he did, his words lingered like whale songs low and warm, felt more in the chest than the ears.
You began to laugh with him. To smile more openly. To touch his wrist when he looked tired, and not worry he would flinch.
And in turn, he looked at you like you were no longer just the Tsahik who was chosen for him
But the woman he wouldโve chosen himself.
The clan noticed.
No one dared say anything too directly, but you heard it in their tones.
โDid you see how Tonowari looked at her today?โ
โThey speak without words now.โ
โShe softened him.โ
And perhaps you had. But more truthfully, heโd let himself be softened. Like sea rock worn down not by force but by constancy.
One afternoon, while helping a young diver with her first healing session, you felt a presence at your back.
You turned and Tonowari was watching.
He hadnโt interrupted. Just waited.
When the child left with her parents, Tonowari came closer.
โYou are gentle with them,โ he said. โEven when they are frightened.โ
You smiled. โThey are still learning.โ
He nodded. โSo was I.โ
Your eyes met. His meaning sank into your bones.
So was I.
That night, he kissed you.
It wasnโt planned. There was no ceremony, no prelude.
You had just returned from a healing outpost on the far reef. Exhausted, muscles sore, your hands still dyed with leaf pigments.
You climbed the platform where he stood, waiting.
โI heard you returned late,โ he said. โI was worried.โ
You looked up at him, too tired to speak, too full of love to hide.
And he kissed you.
Not hard. Not fast. Just sure.
The kind of kiss that said, I am no longer afraid.
Your hands curled into his waist wrap. His cupped your jaw like something fragile and sacred.
And when he pulled back, his forehead pressed to yours, he whispered:
โYou were never a duty.โ
You cried. A little. Quietly.
He held you through it.
From that day on, the world softened around you.
There was still war. Still storms. Still hard days. But now there was him. And he was no longer just someone you loved in secret.
He was someone who loved you back.
It bloomed slowly like everything between you had.
Tonowari was not loud in love. He didnโt make speeches or shout his feelings across the village. But you felt it in every gesture.
In the way he warmed your meal when you came home late.
In the way he carved a small water dish for your pet ilusa.
In the way he waited for you each night, only sleeping once he knew you were safe beside him.
He whispered I see you against your shoulder when the stars were high. You whispered I see you back, with hands curled over his heart.
One morning, you woke to find him gone from your sleeping mat.
Heโd left something in your hands woven cloth, carefully folded. A ceremonial sash.
You opened it and gasped softly.
It bore the mark of Tsahik but also, stitched beside it, the symbol for mate.
Tonowari had made it himself.
Heโd been learning in secret from the elder weavers. Practicing when you were away. You could see the imperfections, but you could also see the care. The patience. The intention.
When he returned, salt still in his hair from a dawn swim, you rushed to him.
You didnโt speak. Just held him.
He murmured, โI want you beside me. As my mate. As my equal. As the woman I love.โ
You said yes before he could finish the sentence.
The Metkayina clan gathered at the edge of the reef beneath the setting sun. The tide was low, the sand damp and warm under your bare feet, and the sky was streaked in soft rose and gold.
The waters whispered to the shore, carrying gifts of foam and fragments of coral. And before the entire clan before Eywa, before the Great Motherโs sacred eye you and Tonowari stood across from one another.
He wore the ceremonial paint of Oloโeyktan, freshly renewed, but this time his chest bore something else: a small spiral inked above his heart. It matched your own. A symbol of the tideโs endless return.
You had drawn it for each other the night before. With his hand steadying your wrist. With yours trembling when you painted his.
Tsahik, his mother, stood between you, her voice strong, clear.
โEywa hears all hearts. She knows when love is chosen, and when it is earned. She watches over those who walk beside one another not only in duty, but in truth.โ
Her eyes met yours.
โYou have walked this path with patience. With grace.โ
Then she turned to Tonowari.
โAnd you, my son, have found what it means to love not from pride, but from seeing.โ
You felt his fingers brush yours.
The final chant began. The clan joined in, their hum rising like a rising tide, resonant and deep. And when it faded, the old Tsahik stepped back.
Now it was your moment.
You and Tonowari stepped forward.
And he spoke first.
โI once believed you were chosen for me. That I had no choice,โ he said, voice firm and low, carrying across the water. โBut I was wrong. I see now that Eywa did not trap me. She gifted me someone I was too blind to understand. And now, I choose you. Not because I must but because I cannot imagine a single day without your hand in mine.โ
The clan was silent. The reef wind stilled.
You swallowed the lump in your throat. โAnd I choose you,โ you said, voice shaking. โBecause even when you did not see me, I loved you. And now that you do there is no end to that love.โ
His hands took yours.
Foreheads pressed.
And the wave rolled in behind you both, warm and gentle, lapping over your feet like Eywaโs blessing.
The clan cheered.
But all you could hear was the sound of his breath against your cheek, and the quiet, precious words that followed:
โYou are my home now.โ
Your joining was not grand, not ostentatious.
But it was true.
And in the days that followed, you found a rhythm in your lives that was soft and sure.
You slept together now, wrapped in the same woven cloths, his heartbeat under your ear at night.
He kissed your temple every morning before diving. You left small offerings fruit, polished shell, ocean stones by his weapons rack.
He brought you shells that looked like stars. You sang to him while brushing the salt from his braids.
Once, he surprised you by carving a small talon flute one youโd told him you used to play as a child, long ago. He had asked no questions then. But weeks later, the gift arrived on your mat, smoothed and tuned.
โI remember everything about you,โ he said, brushing his fingers over your knuckles.
And he did.
Every day, Tonowari showed you that love did not have to roar to be strong. It could be steady. It could be patient. It could be quiet and still move the world.
You found joy in mundane things.
Helping children mend their fishing nets. Dancing in the tide pools when no one was looking. Singing while preparing salves.
Tonowari watched you in those moments like you were a prayer answered.
He laughed more now. Full, open. A sound you rarely heard before.
When the other clan leaders visited and commented on how much more grounded he seemed, he only said, โI have someone who reminds me what matters.โ
One evening, after a long training day, you found him half-asleep on your shared mat, shoulders sore from leading dives.
You sat beside him, fingers working the tightness from his muscles, humming gently.
โYou work too hard,โ you said softly.
He cracked one eye open. โI work to make you proud.โ
You leaned down and kissed his temple. โYou make me proud when you rest, too.โ
He smiled, slow and sleepy, and reached for your hand.
โThen stay,โ he murmured.
You curled into his side, his breath deepening as sleep overtook him.
And for a long time, you simply lay there, the reef winds outside your home, the warmth of his body against yours.
A life not of ceremony or status.
But of belonging.
Of quiet, sacred love.
The seasons turned gently after your bonding.
Not with fanfare or sudden change but with the subtle certainty of the tide. The reef warmed. The young ones grew bolder in the water. Storms came and went, leaving the coral stronger in their wake.
And so did your life with Tonowari.
You became Tsahik not all at once, but gradually. The old Tsahik never stepped aside abruptly; she guided you, corrected you when needed, and most importantly trusted you. You learned to read the currents not just of the sea, but of people. To feel when a childโs fear was deeper than scraped skin. When a warriorโs anger hid grief. When silence meant more than words.
Tonowari watched you step into the role with a kind of reverence that still startled you.
He never interrupted your rituals. Never spoke over you in council. And when others questioned your decisions, he did not defend you loudly.
He simply said, โShe knows what she is doing.โ
And that was enough.
You learned, over time, that Tonowari carried guilt like a second spine.
Sometimes it came out in quiet ways how he lingered in doorways watching you work, how he reached for you at night as if afraid you might vanish, how he would grow unusually silent during celebrations meant to honor you.
One evening, after a long council meeting, you found him standing alone at the edge of the water, staring out into the dark sea.
โYouโre carrying something,โ you said gently, coming to stand beside him.
He exhaled slowly. โI think about how close I came to losing you.โ
You frowned. โYou never lost me.โ
He turned to you then, eyes dark and honest. โI almost did. When I thought you were something you were not. When I let my pride speak louder than my heart.โ
You reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his. โBut you learned.โ
โYes,โ he said. โBecause you taught me. Without demanding anything in return.โ
He lowered his forehead to yours. โI will spend my life being worthy of that.โ
You smiled softly. โThen spend it with me.โ
The first time a child ran to you instead of the elders for comfort, something settled in your chest.
The first time a wounded warrior thanked you with tears in his eyes, you understood the weight of your calling.
And the first time Tonowari introduced you to visiting clan leaders as my mate, my Tsahik, you realized how far he had come.
He was proud of you not because of your title, but because of who you were.
Your home filled with small rituals.
Morning swims together before the village woke. Shared meals eaten cross-legged on woven mats. Quiet conversations before sleep sometimes deep, sometimes silly, sometimes nothing at all.
Tonowari learned the rhythms of you the same way you had learned him.
He noticed when you needed solitude and guarded it fiercely. When you were overwhelmed, he pressed his forehead to yours and breathed with you until the world slowed.
Once, during a particularly heavy season, you broke down quietly while preparing herbs hands shaking, tears slipping free.
You hadnโt meant for him to see.
But he did.
He took the bowl from your hands, set it aside, and pulled you into his chest without a word. Held you while you cried. Kissed your hair. Stayed until the storm passed.
Later, you whispered, โIโm supposed to be strong.โ
He answered, without hesitation, โYou are. And strong people are allowed to rest.โ
Years later, children sat at your feet during evening fires, wide-eyed as you told stories of the reef and the Great Mother.
They loved Tonowariโs stories best the ones where he pretended to be fierce but always smiled too soon.
And when one small child asked, โTsahik, how did you and Oloโeyktan fall in love?โ the whole circle leaned in.
You glanced at Tonowari.
He raised a brow, amused. โTell them.โ
You smiled. โIt wasnโt loud. Or fast. It didnโt arrive like a storm.โ
You reached for his hand.
โIt came like the tide. Slowly. Patiently. Again and again. Until we realized it had always been there.โ
Tonowari squeezed your fingers.
โAnd I was a fool,โ he added, โfor not seeing it sooner.โ
Laughter rippled through the group.
But when the fire burned low and the children drifted off to sleep, he pressed a kiss to your temple and whispered, โThank you for waiting for me.โ
You answered softly, โI would do it all again.โ
On the night you fully assumed the role of Tsahik, the sea was impossibly calm.
The old Tsahik placed her hands over yours, eyes warm with pride. โYou were always meant for this,โ she said.
Later, when the ceremony ended and the village quieted, you stood alone at the waterโs edge.
Tonowari joined you, slipping his arm around your waist.
โI was wrong about many things,โ he said quietly.
You tilted your head. โAnd right about one.โ
He smiled. โChoosing you.โ
You leaned into him, watching the moonlight ripple across the reef.
And there beneath Eywaโs stars, with the sea breathing steadily around you you understood something deeply, truly, finally:
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
A/N: I reaallly like this one. Most likely because it got a lot of Simon interactions. I hope you will like it as well :) Also! We finally have masterlist for this one! Yippe!
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโ
Tags: IRON LUNG SPOILERS!!! Convict!Simon x Convict!Reader, reader is also an Eden Member, Reader is gender neutral, no mentions or descriptions of Y/N, Childhood best friends, slow burn, Angst, Comfort (?), Swearing, mention of violence, Religion based trauma, trauma in general, character death, Blood (ocean), I'll add more in the future.
MASTERLIST
Part 5 | Part 6
Word count: 5.4k
The process of patching up was long and uncomfortable.ย
You definitely had an injuryย inย your shoulder โ this one being the most painful and annoying. It turned out that, eventually, yourย humerusย had displaced from the socket. You had to bite down on the sleeve of your jacket as Simon pushed it back into place.ย
Letโs just say it was... really unpleasant.ย
Aside from the painful shoulder, you also had some nasty bruises. No broken bones, but the damage would take time to heal.ย
Simon was in an even worse situation. Aside from bruises of his own, heย likely hadย something broken in his forearm. A split lip. A gash on the side of his forehead. The list went on.ย
More so, as the adrenaline wore off, you became more aware of the aching pain all over your body. Suddenly, taking off your shirt turned out to be one of the hardest tasks.ย
As awkward as it was, both of you needed each otherโs help. You could see the damage with the naked eye โ not to mention any potential internal injuries.ย Youโdย have to beย very luckyย to avoid broken ribs.ย
Most of it was done in silence. To provide at least a bit of privacy, both of you sat back-to-back. Occasionally passing bandages to each other, trying not to invade each otherโs space.ย
There was one moment when you failed. Unconsciously, as you turned slightly to hand Simon the tape, your eyes drifted to his bruised back.ย
Something clenched in your stomach. Even if you looked away a second later, the image burned into your mind โ soย similar toย the memories from Eden.ย
Just how many times had he endured pain like this?ย
Neither of you rushed. Neither ofย youย spoke. Even if the weight of the upcoming conversation made your heart heavy, you could spare some time just for yourself.ย
Conversationย could wait. Bleeding gashes on his armsย wouldnโt.ย
Aching but patched up, both of you just... were. Still, with your backs turned to each other, you wondered: whatย even can youย say?ย
Despite your past feelings toward Simon, there were so many issues. You missed him. But you also hated the choices he made. Did that mean you also hated him?ย
No, not really. At the same time, could the two of you revive whatever had died between you? Or was it buried so deep that even the bodies underneath the soilย couldnโtย reach it?ย
Would he want to revive it, or keep it dead?ย
โโฆYou said you wanted to talk.โ eventually he was the first to speak. His voice was gravelly, raspy at the edgesย of words;ย tired, exhausted even.ย Almost likeย whatever corpse lay between you was rotting inside his own mind.ย
You clenched your jaw, fingers tugging at the bandage over your elbow.ย
โโฆI still do.โย
Youย remainedย silent. It feltโฆ horrible, to say the least. There were so many things you wanted to say and ask, but how could you even start?ย
โI donโt understand.โย youย finally said. It felt vague but honest โ because you genuinelyย didnโtย understand. Youย didnโtย understand his behavior. Youย didnโtย understand what got into you back then to say all those horrible things. Youย didnโtย understand your own emotions, let aloneย his.ย
โโฆDonโt understand what?โ Simonย mumbled back,ย his tone lowering at the question.ย
You clicked your tongue, trying to focus on one thing at a time.ย
โIย donโtย understand โย this.ย Iย donโtย understand what happened between us, why you leftโโย
It was his turn to click his tongue. โI left? I had a mission.โย
โIโmย not talking about the mission.ย Iโmย talking about before itโ!โ You shook your head, finally turning around. You stared at his bare back, the black strap of his harness blending with the dark bruises covering his skin. Something clenched in your chest again.ย
โBefore?โ He also turned aroundย โย his brows furrowing, teeth showing. This was not a good sign.ย
โDo you wantย me to remindย youย what happened before? How you fucking spat in my face and turned away first?โย
โMe? Simon, it was you who suddenly cut me out entirely!โย
โI had my reasons.โย
โCare to enlighten me, then?โ This conversation was gettingย way tooย heated, andย thatโsย not how you wanted it to go.ย
โI donโt have to explain myself to you.โ He shot back, the walls slowly growing around him as he pulled back further. Youย wouldnโtย allow it this time.ย
โYes, you do! All the way back to Eden, you suddenly justโย stopped.ย Stopped talking to me, stopped spending time with me, stopped everything! Sorryย thatย Iย canโtย read your fucking mind and see the reasons you refuse to tell me. If there was something going on, youย couldโveย just told me!โ Youย threwย your hands above your head, causing a sharp pain in your shoulder. You ignored it.ย
โWhatย talking to you would even do, huh? Fucking nothing.ย Youโreย not my fucking parent.โย
โIย donโtย want to be your parent. I want to understand what was going through your head.โ This was getting ridiculousย โย both of you throwing words around like children having a tantrum.ย
โMaybe I donโt want to tellย youย my thoughts.โย heย shot back.ย
โUgh,ย youโ!โ You hid your face in your hands, frustrated. Was he always this difficult?ย
โIsย tiย what I said?ย It is,ย isnโt it?โย
โWhat the fuck are you on about now?โ Simon frowned even more, huffing.ย
โI saidย andย did terrible things, andย Iโmย sorryย for that. But that stillย doesnโtย explain why youย just decided to leaveย me in the dark like this!โย
โI saidย I had my reasons.โย
โReasons? And what could those be? Simon, youย basically cutย me out of your life and started pretending I never even existed!โย
โJesus Christโย I wanted to protect you, okay?โย heย snapped suddenly. His voice bouncing off the metal walls made you freeze.ย
โI wanted to fucking protect you from all that messโย from what they did to me and to many others! Because if they knew we were still close,ย theyโdย turn you intoย this.โ He gestured to himself with the most unreadable expressionย heย could manageย โย fear?ย Regret? Anger? Guilt?ย
Shortly, he let out a heavy breath.ย โI stopped talking to you because you were a distraction.โย
No matter what anyone might say, you alwaysย triedย to keep your composure. After all, basing your opinions on extreme emotions was neverย a good idea.ย Youโdย made yourย mistakes,ย said things youย shouldnโtย haveโย but you always tried to stay level-headed.ย
Not this time, though.ย
โExcuse me?ย Are you kidding me?โย youย snarled. Before you even realized it, you stood up, furious.ย
โDistraction?ย Protection?!ย I never asked for protectionโย not in this!ย You just made up your mind without even asking for my opinion!โย
โWhat did you think I could say, huh? What couldย possibly makeย this situation better than this fucking mess?โย
โOh,ย I donโt knowโย maybeย anything!?โ You started pacing from one wall to another, your own bodyย suddenlyย too active.ย
โAnything would be better than whatever you did!ย At least one fucking wordย isnteadย of just nothing!โย
โThatโsย whatย youโreย angry about?ย Didnโt youย were the oneย call meย fuckingย Butcher?!โย
He gotย upย too. He was taller and broader than you, but that never mattered to you. With the time you spent with him in the past, the size difference no longer intimidated you.ย
โYes, butย Iโmย sorry! I wasย mad, sad, scared, confusedโย everything all at once, ever since my best friend decided heย didnโtย want to know me anymore!โย
โI didnโtโย oh, fuck this.โย He said, suddenly all the tensionย leavingย him like a balloon deflating. He sat backย down,ย his back pressed against the cold wall of the control panel.ย
He was clearly trying to stay calm. More than that, he seemed like he was strugglingย โย he always had trouble talking about his feelings, especially feelings as complicated as these.ย
โI was scared.โ His tone was much quieter than before.ย
โI was scared that youโย thatย theyโdย take away the only thing I cared about. Thatย theyโdย change you, too. Thatย theyโdโโ He raised his hands, making a twisting motion. โโbreak you, like everyone else. Iย donโtย knowย whatโsย right or wrong anymore, okay? And putting distance between us felt like the safestย option.โ You stood above him, listening as he poured out his heart for theย firstย in...ever.ย Heโdย never truly told you his feelings, andย youโdย never forced him.ย
โโฆIf they knew how important you were to me, theyโd do the same thing they did to my mother.โย
Your anger slowly faded. With a storm of thoughts swirling in your mind, you took a step closer. Then another. And another. Soon enough, you sat beside him near the wallย โย close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body, yet far enough to keep some distance.ย
You took a deep breath. โโฆFrom my perspective, it looked like I was about to lose you.โย
It was your turn to speak.ย โI wasโฆ so confused. You were the only personย Iโdย ever been this close with since the Quiet Rapture, and you suddenly pulling away felt like a stab in the back. But that stillย doesnโtย justify what I said.ย Iโmย sorry.โ You turned your head slightly to look at his face. His eyes were closed, but from the movement of his eyelids, you knew he was listening.ย
โI promisedย Iโdย never leave, and I ended up doing something even worse. Iย shouldnโtย have thrown that in your face. But pleaseโย donโtย justย leave me in the dark like that.โ At this point, you were desperateย โย desperate for him, in every sense of the word. Desperate for his forgiveness, his understanding, for what you used to have.ย
You watched him fiddle with his clothesย โย the knife sheath still sewn into the fabric of his hoodie. His thumb caressed the buttons again.ย
โโฆIโm not the person I used to be,โ he whispered.ย
You only shook your head gently.ย
โYou donโt have to be.โย Iโd learn how to be withย you,ย over and over again if necessary.ย
Both of you sat there in silence for a longย moment. The tension no longer threatened to snap. Eventually, he raised his gaze to meet yours, holding eye contact.ย
โIโmโฆ sorry, too.โ It was weak but honest.ย
โApology accepted.โ In another world, this might have been the worst decisionย youโdย ever made. But how long could you hold a grudge? It had been eating you from the inside for months. You justย couldnโtย bring yourself to care anymore.ย
In some way, the argument feltโฆ right. Like something you had to go through to realize your mistakes. Itย wasnโtย perfect, andย this little line of connectionย wasn'tย nearly asย close to theย friendshipย you twoย used toย have.ย
But it was a good start.ย
โโฆWhat now?โย
Simon let out a long breath through his nose. He looked back at the knife sheath, his hands clenching over the leather.ย
โWeโre not dyingย downย here.โย
With that, he ripped the sheath out of his hoodie.ย
.
.
.
Patching up helped a lot.ย Semi-recharged and ready, both of you had some kind of plan.ย Wellโฆ if you could even call it plan.ย
The idea was simple: survive and reach the surface. Easy enough.ย
โAhโฆ weโre fucked.โ Simonโsย rather matter-of-factย tone caught your attention. You had just finished tying your shoes.ย
โWhatโs wrong?โย youย asked, walking over and glancing at the panel. The displayย readย X: 702.07 and Y: 652.77. Which meant you two wereโฆย way offย the mapโs coordinates.ย
โOh.โย
โYeah. โOhโ isย a good wayย to describe it.โ Simon shook his head slightly, tapping his chin as if it might help him think of an idea.ย
You, on the other hand, had a small realization. Reaching into your trousers pocket, you pulled out the little message you two had found earlier. The smudged words โCross the wiresโ still written on one side of the paper, while the other side wasโฆ part of some text.ย
Manuals!ย
Youย immediatelyย crouched near the bag by the panel, grabbing the first manual within reach. Flipping through the papers, you eventually found what you were looking for โ a page missing its bottom edge and corner. The shape of the noteย fitย perfectly into the rip.ย
Bingo.ย
Youย didnโtย have a map of this specific place? Well, you could make one.ย
With some quick lines of the pencil and proper matching to the real map, you created a makeshift panel to plot your course. The CO.I.ย wouldnโtย have to know youย rippedย a few pages out of the manuals, right?ย Taping it to the side wall, you got yourselfย easyย map design.ย
Youย spread the tasks.ย Simon would steer the submarine while you took photos every few secondsย andย tryย to line out the path with his directions. Seemed solid enough for now.ย
First, youย neededย toย determineย your current location. As Simon adjusted theย submarineโsย angle, you moved back and forth between the map and the camera button, sketching your surroundings.ย
โWall?โย
โWall.โย youย nodded, sliding charcoal over the paper.ย
โAgain, 90 degrees.โย
โOn it.โ The click of the angle switch confirmed his words. The submarine turned once more, completing half a circle. You pressed the button, fiddling with the pencil.ย
Honestly, this little planย wasnโtย so bad. Simon was always better at keeping track of numbers andโย
Your pencil suddenly dropped to the ground.ย
It was right in front of the submarine โ staring right back at the camera lens like it wasย nothing.ย Small, dull eyes reflecting theย flashโs light. Its body deformed in ways itย shouldnโtย be possible, withย teethย longer thanย yourย entire body.ย Long, sharp, way too many. It was so close it almost filled the entire frame of the photo.ย
You were cruelly reminded of the harsh reality youย faced,ย theย environment you had found yourself inย โย and that youย werenโt, in fact, the only residents here at this moment.ย
It looked like something straight out of a nightmare. But itย wasnโtย just a nightmare, no matter how badly you wished it to be.ย
โIs it a wall, orโ?โ Simon turned, noticing you completely frozen. Youย didnโtย even realize he tilted his head in confusion before he looked at the photoย too.ย
He froze, just likeย you.ย
The sound of blood moving outside made your heart drop even furtherย โย at this point, itย wasnโtย even in your stomachย butย rather at yourย ass.ย
You hurriedly pressed the button againย โย the next photo, of course, was different. Thisโฆย this thingย moved away. Now partly hidden by the darkness of the tunnel behind it. Even if itย wasย further away, those two glowing eyes were still entirely focused on youย โย as if it could see through the photo itself.ย
You pressed the button for a third timeย โย and the creature was gone. All theย imageย showed were two tunnels,ย most likely leadingย to wherever this creature had gone.ย
And youย werenโtย exactly eager to follow it, either.ย
โโฆSureโฆย yeah. Good.โย youย muttered, staring at the shielded window of the submarine. The crack in the glass did nothing to calm your shaky breath.ย
โJustโย donโtย mind us!ย Weโreย just trying to go home.โ Talking to this thing felt ridiculous. But when did anything make sense at the bottom of a Blood Ocean?ย
โJustโฆ pretend like weโre not even here.โย Simon added his part. Because, as terrifying as this creature was,ย maybe itย was intelligent? Youย didnโtย know if it was good or bad.ย
But if itย wasย โย and if it could understand youย โย maybe itย wouldย be nice?ย
โฆMaybe?ย
They do sayย toย notย judgeย bookย byย itsย veryย teethyย cover, so...ย
โIโm sure theyโre falling over themselves trying to find us.โย Simon grumbled quietly, checking the coordinates again.ย
โโฆOn the bright side, we still have some time.โ Pretending to be positive felt like the most idiotic thing you could do right now. And yet, youย couldnโtย bring yourself to care.ย
โI can already imagine the look on theย Captainโsย faceย โย seeing the great Simon andย ___ย still alive.โย
โOh,ย sheโll beย delighted.ย Two of the worst fuckers still kicking around." His words made you chuckle. It's been a while since anything made you chuckle.ย
Somehow, even in the face of the most terrifying creature everย to exist, Simon still managed to make youย smile.ย What a dork.ย
The hours began to blend together. You lost count of how many times you clicked the camera button, how many lines you scribbled on the paper, and how many times you repeated the same path from point A to point B. (You tried your best not to think about all the weirdย alienย shitย youโdย seen from time to time.)ย
Luckily, the movement kept you conscious. It kept your tired mind busy and active, even if the idea of a napย wasย startingย to lookย reallyย tempting. At this point, even the metal floor would be enough of a bed for you.ย
Yet, you pushed forward. Push the button, go to the wall, line up the path, comeย back to the camera. Repeating it somehow calmed your nervesย โย a little routine working miracles.ย
โYou know, Iโve been wondering...ย where did they even get the map of this placeย to begin with?โย youย said, eyes focused on yet another imageย โย only darkness and ocean floor this time. Good enough.ย
As the image faded away, you made your way to the paper. So far,ย youโdย mapped out a goodย portionย of this area. With some curved tunnels and dead ends as well.ย
โDidnโt the Captain say they only had surface scans? I mean, I know her whole bullshit about us being the first ones done was a lie, butโย Simon?โ After a moment of rambling, you realized heย hadnโtย said anything in some time. You glanced at himย โย still seated in his chair, hand resting steadily on the control lever.ย
โSimon, you good?โ When no response came your way, anxietyย immediatelyย filled your stomach. Suddenly, the distance warning flashed on the panel. The lightย startingย toย flicker rapidlyย at the front of an arrowย as the submarine was about to hit something head-on.ย
โSimon!โ You crossed the distanceย inย fewย long steps, pushing the lever back. Only then did you notice him jerking awake.ย
The submarineย onlyย bumped against something,ย thanks to yourย quick reaction preventingย a serious collision.ย
Simon, on the other hand, seemed disoriented. Blinking and lookingย around, itย looked likeย he had just woken up. Which, in fact, was trueย โย poorย guy must have fallen asleep sitting up from exhaustion.ย
โHey, hey, look at me.ย Youย okay?โ You placed your hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him.ย
He nodded, consciousness returning to him. His forehead was glistening with sweat. During that briefย momentย unconsciousness, he must have had a dreamย โย and whatever it was, it wasย probably notย pleasant.ย
โYeah, uhโย sorry. I guess I justโฆโย
โItโsย okay. Justโย Jesus,ย donโtย scare me like that. You could have just told me you were tired. Weย couldโveย taken a break.โ Naturally, he shook his head right away.ย Typical.ย
โNo, no.ย Iโmย fine.ย Iโmย okay. Weย canโtย waste too much time.โย
โBullshit.โ You shook your head too, letting go of his shoulder. Hands on your hips, you looked downย at him with disapproval.ย
Youย couldnโtย blame him for needing a nap when your own brain had been screaming for rest for the last few hours. But you could blame him forย pretendingย that heย didn'tย need rest.ย
Simon ignored your half-hearted glare, focusing instead on the flashing light on the panel. Whatever the submarine had collided with was still thereย โย most likely aย wall or rock structure.ย
Still, itย wouldnโtย hurt to check, right?ย
This time, it was him taking a photo. And the image wasโฆย rather questionable.ย
โWhat the hell is that?โ you asked, glancing at the picture yourselfย โย seeingโฆ well,ย somethingย for sure.ย
Itย wasnโtย a wall or any rock formation. It seemed pill-shapedย โย filling the entire frame due to how close it was to the camera.ย
โHold onโโ Simon quickly stepped up to the panel to pull the lever back. The submarine backed up slightly, gaining distance for a better shot.ย
The first thing you noticed was the big hole. The next was the clearly welded-on sign: SM-8.ย
Itย didnโtย take long for you to connect the dotsย โย it was a submarine.ย
Completely ripped apart, its empty gutsย onย display.ย
You two were the first down here, huh?ย
โInitiating diagnostics checkup.โย a voiceย spoke behind you, almost making you jump out of your skin.ย
Your first thought was that it was the C.O.I.ย โ regaining the connection and finally reaching you. But the movement at the corner of your eye proved you wrong; it was the deck computer doingโฆ something.ย
First, some text appearedย along with popout windowsย โย then a robotic voice reporting every individual failure of the recovery program. Engineย โย fail. Oxygenย โย fail. Fuelย โย fail.ย Every program that could exist had failed, except for the battery status, which was listed as low.ย
โInitiating black box recovery program.โย
โInefficient privileges. Leave the areaย immediatelyย or surroundย yourself toย the councilย authorities.โย
โWhatโฆ the fuck?โย youย and Simon exchanged glances. He stared at you; you stared at him. Then both of you looked at the computer screen.ย It was trying to connect to the black of SM-8.ย
Simon approached the computer. Trying a few potential passwords that might have workedย (thoughย usingย โPasswordโ and โPassword1โย werenโtย his brightest moments)ย you found nothing worked.ย
โUhm, Simonโ?โย youย started, seeing him reach for the cables still visible on the side of the panel.ย
โSimon, I donโt think this is a good ideaโโ Before you could finish, sparks suddenly flew, and Simon jumped back, holding his handย with a loud curse.ย
Even more windows popped out, accompanied by a cacophony ofย mixedย soundsย and recordingsย filling the cramped space.ย Way tooย muchย sounds for your own liking.ย
โJesus,ย youย okay?!โย
โFucking shit!โ Simon snarled, reacting in frustrationย โย smashing his hand against the keyboard.ย
In a moment of anger, instead of hitting the keyboard again, he swung his hand over a spherical device, causing yet another window to appear on the screen. Soon, every pictureย youโdย taken flashed before yourย eyes,ย each one numbered in chronological order.ย
The images flickered one by one, eventually slowing down along with the sphereโs momentum.ย
Finally, it stopped on one photoย โย one youย didnโtย recognize. It must have been taken when you and Simonย hadnโtย paid itย muchย mind. Maybe when you used the camera purely for lighting inside the sub?ย
It showed thisโฆ horrific creature again. This time,ย it wasย its tail. The grainy picture did little to highlight details, butย perhaps thatย was for the bestย โย the twisted shapes of human hands and legs were already enough to make your stomach drop.ย
Itย seemed to beย in motionย โย swimming into whatever hellhole it came from.ย
Your body moved on its own. Hand hesitantly resting on the sphere, you started scrolling through the photos.ย Some you recognized, others seemed newย โย but they werenโt actually new; you simply hadnโt seen them at the time.ย
Some images showed walls; others, lonely branches resting on the floor of the seabed.ย But one particular photo made you stop and focus.ย
The idea of the camera being an X-rayย wasnโtย new after all. The unfortunate incident with the flashย had shown just how efficientย โย and dangerousย โย this camera could be.ย
X-rays could see through flesh. And somehow, at some point,ย youโdย taken a photo ofย something'sย spinal cord. Twisted lines and shapes clearly outlining the spine and ribs.ย
Youย didnโtย even realize your earsย ringingย when another clicking sound came from the front panel of the submarine.ย
Both you and Simon jumped again,ย immediatelyย turning toward the front of the hull. The warning light sped up, slowed down, sped up againย โย just toย disappear as if it had never been thereย in the first place.ย
You swallowedย thickly,ย your dry throat barely helped by the act. โโฆLetโs justโฆ keep going.โย you muttered, glancing one last time at the computer screen.ย Simon looked just as nervous as you, and in a final act of frustration, he slammed his hand against the sphere once more.ย
โNot our problem.โย heย grumbled, moving back to sit in the chair.ย
โWhat are the coordinates now?โย youย asked, trying to change the subjectย โย needing anything to distract your anxious mind.ย
โWeโre atโฆย Uhhโฆ X: 725.57 and Y: 501.36.โย
You blinked, pencil hovering over the paper.ย
โWait, what?โย youย asked, turning to him with wide eyes. You looked back at the numbers on the panel, then at your makeshift map...ย and bang your forehead against the wall.ย
โโฆWe just made a circle.โย
โWhat?โ Simon stood up from his chair and walked over. You took a step back to give him aย room toย look. The coordinatesย didnโtย lieย โย along with your carefully drawn lines. Whatever section of this maze you two had found yourselves in, it was like a tunnel networkย โย eachย possible wayย out either too small for your submarine or a dead end. And some spotsย youโdย rather not think about, full of that โalien shit.โย In the end, all the routes youย didย managedย to go through led you back here; all the way where you started.ย
โFucking Godโฆ Do you think we should go around again?โย
โIย donโtย thinkย thatโsย a good ideaโฆ Weย havenโtย found any proper way out anyway.โย youย said, rubbing your temples as a headache started to creep in. No matter how optimistic you tried to be, the pressure was starting to get to you.ย Not only the pressure, but theย hot airย as well โ you wereย basically boilingย in your own clothes.ย
Simon shook his head. โThen what are we supposed to do?ย Just wait for that thing to eat us?โย
โI donโt know.โย youย mumbled, your hands dropping to wrap around your own body for comfort.ย
Simonย seemed to noticeย your state. For a moment, he looked like he was about to say something... but just as quickly,ย he changed his mind. He paced back and forth, trying to think. When he finally stopped walking, you knew he had an idea.ย
โThereโฆ could be one way we havenโt checked yet.โ Youย blinked,ย confused. You followed him as he stepped to the computer, flicking through the imagesย using the sphere again.ย
He stopped on one: an image of two tunnels splitting into darknessย โย the tunnels where that horrible creature had goneย to.ย
โNo,โ you shook your headย immediately. โNo, weย canโt. Thatโsโย the worstย ideaย youโveย ever had. And you thought pretendingย theย bath was a swimming pool was fun.ย Noโโย in aย split ofย second, you felt panic fogging your mind once more.ย He wanted to go there?ย After thatย that thing?ย
โListenโย I know this is crazy, but what other choice do we have?โย
โNo!ย Simon,ย pleaseโย Iโmย begging youโย anything butย this.โ you said, starting to hyperventilate. Why did this feel like risking everything? You and Simonย hadย been lucky so far. Even if that thing kept taunting you, it stayed on its own territory. Going into its domain would mean having to followย its rules.ย
It suddenly got hard to breathe. Why was it hard to breathe? Whyย you'reย struggling to breathe?ย ย
He softly called your name. The sound was so gentle it barely seemed like him. Through theย fog of your own thoughts, you felt his hands rest on your shouldersย โย a warm weight that helped ground you. How long had it been since you felt any touch thatย didnโtย cause pain?ย
Youย didnโtย even register when he stepped into your personal space, leaning forward slightly to meet your eyes.ย As your breathing quickened, seeing his face so close helped you focus on nothing else but himย for once.ย
โCome on. Three-second rule. Just breathe.โ His voice was low but calm. Youย didnโtย know what spellย heโdย just cast, but it helped stabilize your breathingย just a littleย โย orย maybe itย was just his effect on you, who knows.ย
โI know this is scary. Shit, those areย the most terrifyingย hoursย of my life. But listenโย we promised each other something, right?โย
You managed to nod. When did your eyes start to water?ย
โExactly.ย Weโllย liveย โย andย weโllย kick the ass of that arrogant woman leading the C.O.I., right?โย
โChristโฆโ You chuckled weakly. Your voice sounded shaky to your own ears.ย
โRight?โย heย prompted.ย
โYes,ย right.ย Weโย we will live and kick theย Captainโsย ass.โย
โSoย you just have to bear with me.โ His gaze held yours, and youย couldnโtย look away. It felt like his eyes held you hostage, never letting you pull awayย โย deep brown eyesย entirely focused on you.ย
โWeโllย take it slow. Ifย anythingย dangerous appears,ย weโllย turn 180ยฐ so fast that this thingย wonโtย even have a second to react. Butย letโsย be honestย โย youโreย smart. You know this is our onlyย optionย now. And weย canโtย stay here much longer.โย
The rolesย hadย reversed. It was always you who was the voice of reason. Now, in this very moment, it was himย โย holding you together, both literally and metaphorically.ย
You felt himย squeezeย your shoulders;ย not too tight, just enough to reassure you.ย Youโreย okay,ย youโreย still alive. You still have a chance to get out of this.ย
After a moment, you nodded.ย As badly you wanted to protest, he was right. It was your only choice.ย
โโฆOkay.โ You took a deep breath;ย three seconds in, three seconds held, three seconds out.ย
Simon nodded too, then let go of your shoulders. He straightened up, turning to sit at the panel once more. Youย couldnโtย help but notice how suddenly empty your space felt without him there.ย
โAnd remember, if anything shady happens, let me knowย immediately.ย Weโllย back out as fast as possible.โย
โโฆOkay,โ you whispered. โOkay.โย
It took you quite some time to once againย locateย the two tunnels. Lots of counting and angle-matching, but eventually, you stared at the two black holes once moreโย theย poor qualityย of the photo making them look even more menacing.ย
You stared at them for a good few seconds, even after the image disappeared from the display.ย Whetherย you liked it or notโฆ it really was your last potential chance.ย
With some cooperative work, you angled the submarineย just right. Taking a leap of faith, Simon pushed the lever forward, swimming into one of the tunnels.ย
โโฆSeems clear so far.โย youย called out to him, carefully eyeing yet another photo. The space looked narrow, but big enough for your submarine to pass through. Of course, it had to beย big.ย Ifย that thing used it as its own pathโย no, stop thinking about it, dammit.ย
As the submarine moved forward, you felt the pull of gravity pushing you back,ย which could only mean one thing: you were going uphill. You were gaining altitudeย โย meaning you might have a chance to reconnect with the C.O.I.ย
โCome onโฆ come on.โย youย kept glancing at the radio.ย Anythingโย justย please, anything!ย
โHowโs the path?โ Simon called out again, glancing at you over his shoulder. You pushed the button again.ย
โClear! Though,ย itโsย about to get steep.โย youย replied.ย
โAlright, hold on just in case.โย heย responded.ย
It was working. The depth meter was slowly rising. The green line was climbingย higher and higher, approaching the edge of the red zone.ย
You had to lean over the controlย panel,ย your boots nearly slipping on the metal flooring due to the steep incline.ย It was reallyย working!ย
Then, you heard itย โย the static of the radio, barely audible over the whirl of the submarine.ย
And then-ย
โโฆHello?โย
โYes!โ Both you and Simon jumped from yourย spots.ย It was them! It was the C.O.I.!ย
โCan youย hearย us? Hello?ย Weโreย here!โย youย called out, your voice cracking with sheer emotion. You almost started crying from happinessย if not forโย
โ...Who is this? Is this another trick?โย
โTrick? No, itโsโย itโsย us!ย Weโreย stuck here. Can you get us out?!โ Simon shouted, his eyes just as wide as yours.ย
The comms fell silent forย a short moment.ย
โฆSomething was wrong.ย
โโฆAva? Is that you? Is that really you? Please, youโย youย gottaย get us out of here!ย Justโย justย please, weย canโtย take it anymore!โย
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
A/N:KOWABANGAAAAAAAA this one is a little different. SiMON'S POV BABYYYY
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
Tags: IRON LUNG SPOILERS!!! Convict!Simon x Convict!Reader, reader is also an Eden Member, Reader is gender neutral, no mentions or descriptions of Y/N, Childhood best friends, slow burn, Angst, Comfort (?), Swearing, mention of violence, Religion based trauma, trauma in general, character death, Blood (ocean), I'll add more in the future.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Word Count: 5.4k
Simon POV:
Simon sat on the floor, his entire frame trembling. Heaving through waves of gasps and tears that leftย saltyย taste in his mouth.ย
Heย couldnโtย breathe. His throat was tightened by invisible hands, the pressure cutting out every single thought. Everything was so loud and brightย โย his brain steaming under the sensory overload.ย And yet, despite the pain in his lungs,ย he'sย beenย howling;ย crying for hours now, making sounds heย didnโtย even know he was capable of.ย
She was gone.ย
She was gone. She was gone.ย She was gone. She was gone.ย
He held the knife hidden in its sheath so tightly that his nails left lines in the leather. Theย metalย buttons were wetย โย his own tears dropping onto them and shining under the artificial light.ย This little trinket being the last thing he had in her memory.ย
Every muscle in his body wasย tense,ย everyย hair was standing up. His head was filled with cotton; every sound muffledย behind the screams. All he could see was one horrible image that would haunt him for the rest of his days.ย
The sight of his mother being buried beneath the soil of the Last Tree.ย
She promised she would stay. She promised she would always be withย him,ย from the day he was born until the day they bothย wouldย findย new stars. She promised...ย and she still left him. Left the poor teenager inย a worldย he no longer recognized.ย
They were about to celebrate his fifteenth birthday. Since the cursed day of the Rapture, Eden had stopped caring about formalities like celebrations. Mister Walterย didnโtย exist anymore. In his place, a new man was bornย โย stripping away his old name and empathy.ย Which was yet another reason for his mother insisting on celebrating hisย day.ย
He'dย train until heย couldnโtย standย anymore.ย Until his body screamed and burned with exhaustion. Until heย couldnโtย see the color of his own hands beneath the stains of red.ย ย
She'dย always protect him.ย Aside from theย Father,ย his motherย was one of the originalย caretakers of all the children in space.ย Unfortunately, theย adults wouldย vanish one by oneย โย one day here, the next gone. Soon enough, even the children would connect the dots.ย
But she was always there.ย Simonย didn'tย knewย how or why, but he was so damn grateful for it.ย Always with her arms around him when he cried from nightmares,ย always telling him thatย he'sย more thanย they'reย trying to turn him into. Always patching up his blistered hands or kissing his forehead when lifeย itselfย became too much to bear.ย
He learned how to hold a knife at age seven. How to properly strangle a person at age ten.ย
He killed for the first time at age twelve.ย
Sometimes, he could still see itย โย the blinking light in the distance, fighting to cut through the darkness of the empty universe. The dying stars, looking exactly like the dimming glint in the eyes of someone about to take their last breath.ย Heโdย sit alone under the tree for hours, weeping after yet another test, yet another torture.ย
The Father wouldย oftenย remind them that the stars were dead, anyway. That the faint glow he still saw was just an echo of what once existedย โย traveling through time and space, just to vanish from theย canvasย of theย galaxy.ย
In those quiet moments, she would find him. Sit next to him, bring him close, and remind him of what truly matteredย โย her love for her sweet son,ย hoeย incredible he was, how capable he could be. Sometimes it felt like empty words, but now,ย he'dย give everything just to hear it again.ย
But itย wasย gotย so hard.ย Soย hard to still see the line between truth and lie, between love and despair. So hard to hold onto the part of himself that his mother helped him create, when the new Eden rules tugged at his soulย just to ripย it apartย and glue back together for their own vision.ย
Now sheย wasย gone. As he squirmed and banged his head against the wall, he could still see her unmoving face when he closed his eyes. Every time tears blurred his vision, that twisted image would turn into her dull gazeย โย once filled with brightness and love.ย
The worst part was that heย didnโtย even know how she died. She was fine before. She wasย alright, alive, smiling at him just the day beforeย โย only to have her thread cut far too early.ย
He wanted to scream. To rip apart everyone guilty of her death. Toย drop toย his knees and never get up. To close his eyes and open them again,ย just to see his mom once more.ย He wanted to fight and give up at the same time.ย
โDonโtย fear, my son. Her death is only a new beginning. Our lives do not belong to usย โย they are only here toย createย theย new life after our deaths.ย Sheโllย become one with the soil, her limbs turning to branches and roots. That is the destiny of every child of Eden!โย
He wanted to kill the Father on the spot.ย
But heย couldnโtย โย his already broken and reconstructed mindย started to get used to theย new realities.ย
His bodyย wasnโtย his own. His hands, his legs, his very soulย โย none ofย itย belonged to him anymore. The only thing he ever owned was the ability to choose: to bring new bodies into the world, or to become part of the soil himself.ย
Itโsย been so difficult not to start believing in this new order.ย To notย lostย himself in this new set of things. After all,ย lieย spoken thousands of times would eventually turn into a truth.ย
Amidst his own feelings,ย a contactย reached through the fogย โย a warm touch, so familiar yet new after all these years ofย hard treatment. Before he knew it, an even warmer body pressed against him, arms wrapping around his trembling form.ย
For a second, he thought it was herย โย his mother once again sitting beside him, bringing him close like he was just a little boy. It felt familiar. It felt new. It felt like something he had known since birth. It felt like something he was about to learn. It felt like home.ย
โSimon, Iโmโย Iโm so sorry.โ Itย wasnโtย his mother. It was you.ย Maybe thatโsย why it felt so familiar but different. Heย didnโtย even realize when his own arms wrapped around you, pulling you so closeย likeย he wanted toย hide in your own body.ย
Heย couldnโtย speak. What could he sayย inย this moment? That he alreadyย missedย her? That the sight of his own dead mother shattered everything that was left of his past self into pieces?ย
It took him a long time to calm downย โย even as the lights in the corridor turned off for the night. Still wrapped in your arms, he feltย youย move. One hand unclenching from his shirtย just toย gently run through his hair.ย
In some way, he hated howย immediatelyย his body responded to the softness ofย yourย touch.ย
When his breathing finally steadied,ย his armsย dropped from the embrace. Now leaning on you, he felt like a deflated balloon. Tired,ย both emotionally and physically,ย all he managed was to mumbleย fewย wordsย over and over again.ย
โI donโt want to be alone.โย
โYou wonโtย be.โย youย murmured back. One hand gently stroked his back, while the other kept him close. Running your fingers through his messy hair, you let him hide, disappearย fromย the existenceย โย as if the weight of the worldย didnโtย matter.ย
Here, he was just Simonย โย your Simon.ย
โYou wonโt be alone.โ you repeated softly.ย
With that, you even kissed the top of his hair. Heย didnโtย mention how, even in the ashes of his own emotions, it still made his heart flutter.ย
โI promise.โย
.ย
.ย
.ย
Even when Simon opened his eyes, he was met with darknessย โย just like during the days of his cell, often wakingย upย long before the lights would turn on.ย
As he slowly regained consciousness, the pain hit himย immediately. A sharp sting in his chest and back with every shallow breath he took. It took him a few minutes to realize heย wasnโtย in his cell anymore. Memories flooded his aching mindย โย reminding him of the metal vesselย he was trapped in.ย
The silence was chilling. No crackle of the radio, no whir of enginesย โย only him, the ringing in his ears, and the distant soundย of bloodย moving outside the submarine.ย
Right.ย Heย wasย still in theย Bloodย Ocean.ย
His body protested as he pulled himself upright. The green light fromย a buttonย did nothing to illuminate the space, but at least it gave him some recognition.ย
The radio was unresponsiveย โย even when he called out.ย The sub was further than any connectionย could've reach.ย The memory of both of you being dragged deeper into the depthsย gotย etched into his skin,ย forming in a wayย ofย very uncomfortableย bruises.ย
Groaningย toย himself, he managed to get upright. Shaky on his feet, he struggled to keep his balance,ย his head spinning from adrenaline.ย He reached for the button, only to hiss at the blinding light. The sudden brightnessย didnโtย help the pounding in his skull.ย
As the photo appeared on the display, he was reminded once again of his circumstances: trapped deep within an unknown oceanย โย completely lost and cut off from any help.ย
He felt something wet on his head. After another photo, he reached for his headband, only to see blood smears staining his fingers. Was it his, or did the submarine have a leak?ย
Another photo, and he allowed himself to look around. So many things at once, and yet heย couldnโtย comprehendย them all. As the submarine filled with temporary light, he saw youย โย lying flat on the ground, unmoving.ย
For a moment, he forgot about the pain.ย
โโฆHey.โย heย called out softly at first, taking a step closer. No response. His heart pounded faster.ย
Two parts of his brain fought. One was afraidย โย so fucking scared that after that hit, something had happened to you.ย After all, everywhere where Simon went, death was following right after him. Taking away his family and friends,ย often forcing him to watch as they all got putย out likeย flameย of the candle.ย
The other part,ย the selfish, disgusting on,ย was ready to shrug it off. In some twisted way, he was almost happy to have the remaining oxygen for himself. Because you promised, and yet you left him alone in the pastย too.ย You left.ย Like his father, like hisย mother, andย likeย everyone he ever cared about. This partย got carefullyย stitchedย intoย him by the years spent in the Brotherhood. He hated himself for it.ย
Still, he knelt beside you, reaching for the button again to get a better look at your face. You looked like you were just asleepย โย if not for the blood trailing from your nose and chin.ย
โHey.โย heย called more urgently, shaking your shoulder gently.ย
Get up.ย Donโtย getย up. Please be alive. Please be gone.ย
โHey, please.โ With a shaky hand, he reached for your neck. He froze for a few seconds, focusing on the feeling beneath his fingertips...ย a heartbeat.ย
You were alive.ย
โOh, thank fuck.โย heย let out a shaky sigh of relief, hovering just above you.ย
โCome onโฆ wake upโฆ please. Justย โย open your eyes, please...โ He shook you again, harder this time. The numbness was slowly leaving his system, replaced by rising anxiety.ย
Youย werenโtย gone, right? You had to be okay. You had to be.ย
Please,ย be okay.ย
Finally, he heard a groanย โย your brow furrowing in pain, your eyesย finally starting to flutterย open in confusion.ย
โSimonโฆ?โย ย
โJesusย fucking Christ, donโt scare me like thatโ!โย ย
He hated how shaky his voice was. He hated that theย factย you were awake again made him feel safer.ย
He helped you sit up, one hand resting on your back a little longer than necessary. Checking your face, he noted every detailย โย the dried blood, the cuts, the bruises. Nothing seemedย immediatelyย life-threatening from what he could see... at least from the outside.ย
โTake it easy. Justโย breathe for now.โย
โโฆWhat the fuck happened?โย yourย quiet voice made him freeze. It was the same tone he heard every time you were scaredย โย this one sentenceย beingย enough to tug at his heart, despite all the emotional baggage between you.ย
He swallowed thickly as the photo faded from the display. The green light from the button made you look even worseย โย the wetness in your eyes said more than words ever could.ย
Youย werenโtย just scared. You were terrified. Andย heโdย lie if he said heย wasnโtย too.ย
โโฆI think weโre trapped here,โ he finally managed to say. The weight ofย the realityย was impossible to ignore. Not knowing where you were or how much time had passedย didnโtย help either.ย
He watched as your shoulders dropped. Theย atmosphereย that followed his words was unbearableย โย even worse than the tense quiet you two shared before. It was filled with so many conflicted emotions and thoughts that Simon felt sick to his stomach.ย
Heย didnโtย evenย botherย clicking the button again. The sight of your hunched posture in the darkness was enough to shatter his already broken heart.ย
Suddenly, he heard a sniff, then a drip. Soon enough, heย barelyย noticed tears rolling down your cheeks, dropping onto the metal plates of the floor.ย
He felt so out of his element. So much time spent wondering about meeting you again, wondering if his anger would win against everything the two of you used to share.ย
Itโsย been so long since he even saw your faceย โย and suddenly he was trapped in those four walls with you, for Father knows how long.ย
For a split second, all the memories came rushing back.ย Every moment the two of you shared inย the simple, quiet moments. Every laugh, every tear shed. Every shared touch.ย
He was never the type to comfort. But for you, he used to tryย โย either awkwardly sitting beside you when words wereย too much, orย poorlyย attemptingย to talk your ear off to take your mind off things. Youย always wereย the one who understood emotions better.ย
He found himself caught in an internal struggle again. On one hand, heย wasnโtย supposed to care.ย Youโdย already shown him what you really thought of him long before he even met you at the C.O.I.ย
On the other, he felt like something long gone had just reawakenedย โย like the part of himself that diedย alongย his mother was suddenly back, something only you had ever been able to bring out.ย
The old, forgotten realization hit him once more: he always wanted to protect youย โย even ifย fromย himself.ย
Soย he did the first thing that felt rightย โย slowly reaching out, as ifย afraidย youโdย jerk away instantly. When youย didnโt, he placed his hands on your shoulders and gently pulled you in. He set your head on his shoulder, in an awkward half-hug, arm wrapped around your middle.ย Just like you used to do with him.ย
His mind kept screaming at him to push you awayย โย that this no longer mattered, that in the endย heโdย end up alone anyway.ย For once, heย didnโtย listen.ย
He let you cry. Itย wasnโtย as destructive as his tantrums; it was quiet, almost reserved. He suddenly remembered how oftenย youโdย hide away from everyone, just to avoid causing too much trouble with your emotions.ย
Itย didnโtย feel right, but itย didnโtย feel wrong eitherย โย likeย a silver liningย between time and space itselfย โย the first real human touchย heโdย felt in a long time.ย
He repeated your own pattern. Heย didnโtย speak unless it was necessary. He kept his hand on your back, gently guiding it up and down. He let you exist without any real reason.ย
Andย godย fucking dammit,ย as hard as it was to admitย โย he missed your warmth.ย
Unfortunately, theย stillnessย didnโtย last long. He let you pull away, watching as you tried to compose yourself. Whatever had existed between the two of you before disappeared just as quickly as it had come.ย He pushed away the thought of sudden, unbearable space between you.ย
โโฆSo, what now?" Your voice was so small, shaking at the last sounds of words. Whyย allย those memories keep on coming back to him now?ย
"What are we going to doโ?โ A sudden flash cut you off mid-sentence.ย
Both of youย immediatelyย looked down as a weak flickering light appeared under the floorย โย a hatch.ย
Simon moved quickly, shifting to get a better look at the new discovery. Sparks and electrical arcs flickered, a small sign that there was still a chanceย to regain power.ย
Fortunately for him, heย didnโtย even have to askย โย you already moved to push the button. He tugged on the hatch a few times, but it was no use. Screwed shut.ย
โDo we have anything to open this thing?โ Simon grumbled, watching as the light from the photo dimmed again. You pressed the buttonย once more, giving both of you a moment to look aroundย โย before youย spotted something.ย
โโฆHold on.โย youย muttered, catching his attention. As he saw you stand up, he had to bite his tongue to avoidย protesting due to your potentialย injuries.ย ย Another internal reminder: Youย shouldnโtย careย โย you twoย aren'tย friends anymore.ย
Heย watchedย as you carefully examined the edges of one of the corners. In the end, what appeared to be an oddly shaped metal wall turned out to be a locker.ย Inside, there was a protective vest (just one, despite there being two of you in the submarine), a roll of spare cables and wires, and a yellow box.ย
You sat on the floor next to him, theย image on theย wallย castingย temporaryย lightย around the twoย of you again.ย
The yellow boxย seemed to be some sort ofย emergencyย rations.ย Bandages, scissors, a small jar of disinfectant, andโย
โโฆWe had water this whole time?โ you whispered, grabbing the metal bottleย โย the HโO symbol on its cap almost mocking you.ย
Right then, Simon was reminded of how dry his throat was. How long had it been sinceย theyโdย had a good sip? Hours?ย Maybe evenย days?ย
Heย didnโtย say anything as you unscrewed the cap and drankย your halfย of the water. Once it was his turn, he did so on autopilotย โย his dehydrated body craving at least a small relief.ย After making sure no drip was left behind, you moved on to action. Looking through the box, youย grabbed ontoย scissorsย again.ย
โโฆItโs better than nothing,โ you said, shrugging. His lips twitched into a faint smile.ย Simonย was grateful for theย darknessย making itย unnoticeable.ย
Simon kept the photos going to light up the space as you unscrewed the panel. Finally,ย afterย removingย it, both of you were met withโฆ even more darkness.ย Most likely hidingย the manual start of the engine.ย
โโฆOh, fuck that,โ he muttered.ย
โWait, what about the vest?โย youย asked,ย immediatelyย reaching for the orange vest. It had a built-in light that would turn on under water.ย
Butย asย Simon grabbed the vest and the water bottleโฆ not a single drop came out.ย Right.ย
Both of you stared at each other for a moment before Simon banged the empty bottle against his forehead.ย Heโsย a fucking idiot.ย
โYou stupid piece of shit, of course you had to chug the whole thingโโ He sent the bottle clattering to the floor, leaning back against theย wall withย cameraย button.ย
Heย didn'tย hadย toย see yourย face toย beย sure you were judging him hard right now.ย
In a moment of desperationย โย orย maybe justย a moment of clarityย โย he spat on the light. A second later, it flickered on, flashing right in his face.ย
โโฆThis works too.โย your blunt comment made him huff in something resembling amusement.ย
After agreeing thatย heโdย crawl down andย youโdย stay by the button, Simonย couldnโtย help but think how ridiculousย yourย circumstances were.ย
Long-lost friends suddenly forced to cooperate in the most fucked-up situation he could imagine. This was even worse than those books his mom used to read.ย
โโฆDonโtย get stuck down there, okay? Iย wonโtย be pulling you out.โย youย said,ย the little threatย holdingย noย weightย to it.ย In someย way, itย even appearedย as anย attemptย ofย aย joke.ย At the same time, he was much bigger than you, so the idea of getting stuck in an even smaller spaceย didnโtย seem so funny onย itsย own.ย
โโฆIf something happens,ย Iโllย just keep banging on the pipes until you lose your goddamn mind. Thenย weโllย be even.โย heย replied, not even sure why he responded with a joke of his own. It felt so out of placeย โย and yet, old habits die hard.ย
As he convinced himself that the little snort you gaveย didnโtย make him feel anything, he began to crawlย โย the narrow, straight path making him feel even more claustrophobic.ย
The small light on the vest didย shit, but it was better than nothing. With you standing near the button, at least the flashes from the photos would reach through the crates and light his way.ย
Barely few minutes haveย passed,ย and he could alreadyย feelย the sweatย washingย down hisย forehead. Crawlingย forwardย on hisย stomach,ย his broad frameย madeย navigation especially difficult.ย
In reality, it would be much better if you were the one crawling here.ย Atย the same time, heย didnโtย want to force you into any more trouble than necessary.ย
Again,ย heย shouldnโtย care.ย But of course, he stillย did.ย
Tooย badย it wasย most likely forย nothing.ย
Finally reaching the end of the narrow passage, what he foundย wasnโtย the emergency engineย restart. The groan he let out seemed to catch your attention.ย
โSomethingโs wrong?โย yourย distant voice echoed through the small corridor.ย
โAll that to find the fucking black boxโฆ Damnit!โย heย exclaimed.ย
โMaybe itโs on the other side?โย youย suggested.ย
โFucking shitโย couldnโt you have said that before I got all the way here?โย heย huffedย back.ย
โHey, you were the one who thought it was all the way back there, not me,โ you shot back.ย
โYeah, yeah, just shut up, will you?โย
โSure, Mister Engineer.โย youย replied, the sarcasmย he knew so wellย clear.ย
It was so strange. He kept repeating this to himself, but somehow, every minute broughtย yet anotherย thing toย surpriseย him,ย
Evenย afterย everything, you were holding an actual conversation. More than thatย โย you wereย bantering.ย Shouldnโtย you guysย want to claw each otherโs throats at this point?ย
It took him a lot of effort and even more grumbled curses before he managed to turn around in the small space.ย
If the emergency engineย didnโtย turnย out to be onย the other side,ย heโdย getย really creativeย with his swearing.ย
โYouโre doing good out there?โย youย called out again, a soft smile audible in your tone.ย
โShut the fuck up.โ He heard you chuckle.ย
Finally, after way too muchย struggle, he reached the otherย end. The emergency engine start wasย practically nearย the hatch you managed to open.ย Ohย for fuck's sakeโย
A few sparks had appeared from the electrical box, cables clearly unstable. He leaned more onto his side to reach for the lever, internally begging for this piece of junk to work.ย
He pulled once, twice, thrice, four, five timesย โย until his wrist started to ache. Finally,ย a buttonย unleashed itself. And to his sweet relief, once he pushed it, the engine whirled to life.ย
โJesus, you did itโ!โย yourย voice from above made him sigh in relief.ย Casting a glance behind him, seeing all the lights come back on, he let out a short laugh.ย
โThank fuckโฆโย
He got out with your help, more than happy to be out of this way-too-claustrophobic space.ย He even had a soft smile on his lips as he turned to you.ย
โHey, on the bright side, you didnโt actually get stuck in theโโ The warning light flickering cut you off mid-sentence.ย Something was right in front of theย sub.ย
Both of you looked at the panelย โย only to see aย gigantic, bloody red eye staring right back at you through the uncovered window of the submarine.ย
He swore he felt his heartย dropย to his stomach.ย
It blinked at both of you before pulling away from the glass.ย Thisย a massive body ofย somethingย moved. Its flesh pressed right up against the window, causing the entire exterior of the submarine to shake once again. It moved slowly, almostย warningly,ย its movement going up and over the submarine.ย
Simonย didnโtย know which was worseย โย the monster you two had just seen, or the crack that was rapidly forming on the glass.ย
Heย didnโtย think. He just moved.ย
He ran up to the panel,ย immediatelyย switching the porthole shieldingย on. Both of you watched as the crack and shield raced to the top of the window.ย In the end, the shieldย wonย โย reaching the top just before the windowย couldย burst openย โย except for a splash of blood that managed to get through, right onto Simon's face.ย
โShit, Simon! Youย alright?โย heย heard your words, but they quickly disappeared behind the ringing in his ears. He saw your mouth moving, felt your hands on his arm, but heย couldnโtย respondย โย the situation bringing him to his limit once more.ย
The blood on his face felt hot. He was more than aware of the liquid trailing down his face. It felt like fire was crawling down his skin,ย leaving burning marks like the one on his neck.ย
It was hotย โย way too hot. Why was it so hoโย
โSimon, for fuckโs sake!โย yourย ear-splitting scream pulled him out of the trance. Itย wasnโtย just blood that was hotย โย the back of the submarine was on fire. You were panicking, struggling to pull out the extinguisherย from its holder.ย
Feeling the heat of flames suddenly licking at his skin, he rushed to grab the fire extinguisher himself, using way too much force to get it out.ย Pulling out the safety lock, he sprayed the nozzle.ย The heat eventuallyย falteredย โย the fireย clearly tried toย fightย back, but it died out under his quick action.ย
'Hull breach. Hull breach. Hull breach'ย
Simon stood there, still staring at the hatch that just burnedย fewย seconds ago.ย
'Hull breach. Hull breach. Hullย breach.ย
It was too much. Too fucking much. He was barely holding himself together.ย
Nothing else reached himย โย not your urgent tone, not even the shaky feeling of your hands.ย
'Hull breach. Hull breach. Hullย breach.ย
He had held it together for so long. Itย wasnโtย just frustration at the submarine itselfย โย it was like all the angerย heโdย buried deep inside exploded in an instant.ย
'Hull breach. Hull breach. Huโ'ย
He snapped.ย
โShut the fuck up!โย heย swung the fire extinguisher before he could even think. The metal bottle struck the radio with a heavy hitย andย loudย bang,ย leaving a big dent in the speaker.ย
Heย didnโtย care anymore. He just screamed.ย
For the first time in too long, he allowed himself to break. The anger accumulated over months in theย cellย finally boiled over. He wasย angry,ย he was scaredย โย and on top of that, they had welded him in with no one else but you.ย
...Right.ย You.ย
The cold regret washed over himย in the next second.ย He whipped his head up just to freeze.ย The moment he saw yourย face,ย all the frustration just left him;ย leaving him empty and ashamed.ย
Your eyes were wide, your mouth hanging open. Handsย frozenย in mid-air, scared to move even the slightest bit. You seemed terrified of him.ย
Youโdย neverย looked atย him that way before.ย
The mechanical voice of the radio was gone.ย But at what cost?ย
He did it again. He fucked up.ย
Simon eventually collapsed on theย ground,ย his movements sluggish as his body reminded him of every injury. Heย couldnโtย look you in the eyes againย โย not after this. Not after the proof of theย monsterย heโdย become.ย
With his head low and shoulders tense, he reached for the only comfort he still had:ย theย knifeย sheath attached to the hoodieย heโdย taken off earlier.ย
Maybe theyย were right.ย Maybe, ifย his mother were still alive, allย sheโdย see was the murderer her son had become.ย
Maybe sheโdย look at him the same way you were looking at him now.ย
Heย didnโtย look up when you approached. Mentally, he prepared himself for insults, for reminders that he should control himself. After all, what was left of his old self? Nothing but ashesย โย just a corpseย of a man he used to be. Nothing but the Butcherย remaining.ย
โโฆIโm sorry.โ It was quiet. His voice barely rose above the hum of machinery,ย feelingย like he was a childย yetย again.ย
No apology could fix this. No words could repair the bridgeย heโdย just burned.ย Whatย wereย you thinking about him now? That all the rumors Eden spread was true? Thatย all heย everย left behind wasย blood, death, andย destruโย
โItโs okay.โ Your voice was just as quiet. Not filled with shame like his, but soft.ย Noย aย mocking tone, to his own surprise.ย
โIt wasโฆ more than expected, at some point. Iย donโtย blame you for the outburst.โย
โโฆYou should.โ he muttered, his thumb running over the shiny buttons of the sheathย โย a habitย heโdย developed since his mother died, trying to mimic the wayย sheโdย caress his cheeks.ย
โBut I donโt.โ you said firmly. Simon clicked his tongue inย newlyย born irritation. This time, itย wasnโtย caused by any annoying sound or monster, but by his own stupid mind. Heย wasnโtย mad at youย โย he was mad at himself. Here you were, still trying to connect with the shell of a man, and all he could do was just push you away. Pathetic.ย
โโฆStop babying me.โย heย grumbled defensively.ย Stop ruining everythingย โย theyโreย just trying to help.ย
โIโmย not babying you. Allย Iโmย saying is that I understand.โย youย replied. He could feel your eyes on him. It felt even worse than the blood already drying on his brow.ย
โโฆYou always do that,โ he muttered, his voice weak again. He had no strength left to fight even his own thoughts anymore.ย
โ...Do what?โย
โMess with my fucking head.โ He finally looked up at you. From your expression, he guessed he must lookย really awfulย โย tired, bloody, sweaty, and on the verge of breaking down.ย
โYou always do that.ย Youโย youย somehow always manage to work me out in the worst way possible, and I have no idea howย you even do that. What the fuck do you even want from me?โ Heย didnโtย mean to sound so defensive. To be honest, he was more than thankfulย โย yet just as confused.ย Topo bad he was an ass in showing it.ย
Because why did a simple look fromย you,ย couldย make his chest ache even more?ย
Why couldnโt he hate you when he really wanted to?ย
Why was he still caring?ย
Why were you still trying?ย
You twoย stared at each other for a longย moment. Once again, the weight of unspoken words hung in the air. He held your gazeย โย even if it made him tremble physically.ย
Finally, you shifted position, sitting directly in front of himย โย slowly and steadily, as if you had all the time in the world.ย
โโฆI want to finally talk with you. About everything. About Filament Station, about Eden.ย ...About us. Because, sorry, but Iย canโtย read your mind.โย
There it was. Simon opened the box, and the cat turned out to be deadย โย facingย him withย the same fateย heโdย tried so desperately to avoid.ย
He let out a long breathย that made himย visibly deflate.ย Heโdย thought about this moment so many timesย โย and now, with it finally at hand, he felt more powerless than ever.ย
What could he even say? What could even possibly explain the mess of his own fucked-up mind?ย
โโฆAlright.โย heย eventuallyย nodded slowly. His eyes finally dropped from your face to the knife sheath in his right hand, just to move to theย seed coated in resinย on his left.ย Twoย physicalย embodimentsย of the never-ending war inside his own head.ย
โโฆLetโsย get patched up. And thenย weโllย talk.โย
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Qualityโ Free Actions
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
A/N: I know I said the real fun will start in this chapter, but please, bare with me... this one was a real handfull to write, sorry for such a long wait! Another long one :)
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
Tags: IRON LUNG SPOILERS!!! Convict!Simon x Convict!Reader, reader is also an Eden Member, Reader is gender neutral, no mentions or descriptions of Y/N, Childhood best friends, slow burn, Angst, Comfort (?), Swearing, mention of violence, Religion based trauma, trauma in general, character death, Blood (ocean), I'll add more in the future.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Word count: 6.8k More under the cut!
The moment you dropped onto the metal floor, your entire body seized up. Gritting your teeth at the sharp pain in your arm, you kept down any sounds.ย Yeah, now you definitelyย got someย injuryย there.ย
Along with the fall, you also banged the back of your head against one of the pipesย โย the hit making your neck stiff for aย good few minutes. You reached out slowly to the back of your head and noticed blood smears now staining your fingers.ย
You heard Simon groan, barely catching a glimpse of his bloodied lips.ย He must have hit the floor with his face.ย
As theย noiseย inย yourย earsย lazilyย faded,ย youย noticedย theย lightย of the radioย flashingย longย beforeย youย couldย hearย anyย voices.ย
Someone new spokeย โย a man you did not recognize. As the black spots before your eyes took their time to disappear, you saw Simon finally getting back onto his feet.ย
Trying to ignore the pain in every part of your body, you forced yourself into a sitting position. In just a few hours, you had wrecked yourself more than the guards had in a yearย you spent inย a cell. Quite an achievement.ย
The submarine whirred againย โย its engines coming to life. You could see how the blood completely covered the frontย glass,ย the dark red merging into theย pitch blackย outside.ย
Simon stood above you, silently holding it out. Heย seemed to noticeย your aching discomfort, the hesitation in your movementsย โย though heย didnโtย say anything about it.ย You glanced up at his face โ the split lip and curls sticking to his alreadyย sweatedย face. Heย looked like a wreck.ย
Your first instinct was to slap his hand away. The second was to scold yourself for even thinkingย about it.ย
The tension between you was still almost palpable, so thick you could cut it with a knifeย โย if you had one. So many unspoken words, so many truths left unsaid. But despite the weight of it making your body tremble, you knew you had to rely on each other. You needed one anotherย โย even if it felt worse than salt in an open wound.ย
You grabbed his hand, feeling his skin warm but firm. With his help, you managed to get to your feet, only to feel a sharp sting in your left knee.ย Oh, come on! Another one to the collection?ย
Simon turned back to the panel without sparingย youย more than a second.ย Touch gone,ย asย if itย wasn'tย even there inย the firstย place; you got used to it.ย
โHello? Convicts, this is serious. Close the shield.โย the manย ordered.ย
โGood.โย His next words blended with the groan of the machinery around you.ย Seizing the moment, you slowly made your way toward Simonย โย not too close to overwhelm, but close enoughย to be within the reach.ย Another quiet gesture the two of youย wouldย shareย โย even if you doubted that would happen.ย Still,ย it wasย betterย to beย safe than sorry.ย
โโฆThanks,โ you whispered, loud enough forย onlyย him to hear. Withย his face turned to the panel, youย couldnโtย see his expressionย โย but you were sure he was clenching his jaw so tightly that his teeth might break.ย
You expected either silence or simple brush off โ not this.ย You blinked, surprised by the sudden question. Unconsciously, you grabbed yourย achingย arm, fingers twitching against the rough material of your shirt.ย
โIโllย live.ย Itโsย not broken, andย Iโveย been through worse.โ Your excuse sounded weakย โย and you both knew it. Neither of you pushed for the truth, though.ย
โYou two will have about 30 minutes to get that sample before we pull you back up. And seriously,ย donโtย worryย โย the welds are good enough. The claw will absorb most of the impact, since Jack is good at his job. Or, wellโฆ was.โย the man in the radioย added.ย
Before you could snap at his feigned compassion,ย Simon'sย harsh tone made you pause.ย
โWeโฆย didnโtย assumeย itโdย happen at all. The cameraโs wired to the black box at the backย โย thereย wasnโtย much time in this mess.โย
Youย couldnโtย help but frown. Suddenly, once again, you heard the mocking tone of theย Captainย and her vague words about your mission. No further explanation, no better briefingย โย just waiting for you to make another mistake so she couldย throw all the blame on your shoulders.ย
โYou know, if I were in charge,ย youโdย know.ย Maybe itโdย help get better results. Butย Iโmย not.ย Iโmย justโฆ a cog in the machine. You knowโย โThis is Bigger than us,โ as we say.โย
โYeahโฆย ย soย weโveย heard,โ you replied bitterly.ย
The words felt heavy on your tongue. In some way, you wished it could be different. No war, no Quiet Rapture, no pain, no suffering,ย nothing like this.ย
Just you, with a chance to breathe for once in a long time.ย Having a chance to sit down and just be without constant idea of surviving filling your every thought.ย For a moment, you even considered adding Simon to that little fantasyย โย but quickly banished the thought.ย
He had already made his decisionย a longย time ago. He made itย very clearย what does he thinks about joining you and your little fantasy.ย
The voice on the radioย sighed;ย its tone uncharacteristically gentle.ย โLook, can we just agree that this is important? Filament Station was a badย loss, butย imagine if we couldย actually rebuildย it. Even you two could be part of that.โย
Your eyes drifted to the window beforeย you,ย Simonโs reflection visible in the dark shadow of the shield. You watched him inspect his bloodied lip, tensingย at the sight of blood on his fingertips. You forced yourself to look away.ย
โConvict one, I read your reportย โย you surrendered. Which means youย didnโtย fully buy Edenโs bullshit, or their talk about the Last Tree.โย Yourย bodyย stilled.ย This conversation was quickly heading downย a very dangerousย path.ย
โEden gave me a tattoo; the C.O.I. made me burn it off. Iย didnโtย choose either of themย โย but I stillย getย a scar.โย
You stood there, your neck suddenly feeling tingly.ย Youโdย neverย evenย received the tattooย โย never had the chance to go through theย final stepย of joining the Brotherhood before the explosion of Filament.ย
The ritual was always the same;ย almost likeย a baptism. But instead of holy water, it involved a painful process of burning out a mark.ย
Followingย Edenโsย rulesย meantย takingย a life toย giveย itย backย to theย soil.ย
You lost track of how many names had been scribbled on the walls over the yearsย โย names of those forced to sacrifice themselves, and those who willingly gave their livesย away.ย In Eden, there was either becoming part of the Brotherhood or becoming part of the Soil.ย No in-between. Youย werenโtย sure how you were still alive after all that.ย
Youย werenโtย aย killer. Butย youย werenโtย intoย the idea ofย suicideย either.ย
As the man kept talking, you chose to remain silent. For once, even if it felt forced, he seemed genuinely concernedย forย your well-being. A small mercy in thisย corpse ofย aย ย world.ย
Youย slowlyย turnedย toย takeย yourย placeย byย aย cameraย โย ifย not for aย flashย ofย movementย atย theย backย of theย submarine.ย
Even if they appeared human-shaped, the horrible twist of their limbs madeย yourย stomach drop.ย
Your hand shot out, frantically patting Simonโs shoulder, words frozen on your tongue. He turned around, already about toย scold you, before he saw your faceย โย pale and terrified, eyes so wide they seemed ready to pop out.ย
โSomeoneโs back there.โย youย whispered, ignoring the radio entirely, as the manโs voices cracked about how humans had to survive no matter what.ย
Then he saw it. The same movement. The presence lurking in the shadowsย โย unseeable to his eyes, but unmistakableย to his senses.ย
He slowly got up, face turning just as pale as yours. You stood frozen, afraid that whatever you just saw would jump out atย any given moment.ย ย
Weโreย you alreadyย loosingย your mind?ย ย
Simon moved first โ urgently grabbing the fire extinguisher thatย hangย off the wall, the makeshift weapon being better than nothing.ย You knew the sudden measured movement of his body, the muscle memory of Eden's lesson kicking inย almost instantly.ย
Your heartย kept onย banging in your chest, so loud you swore you could hear it over the manโs voice. Even as he talked,ย talked, andย talkedย non stop,ย most likely irritatingย whatever thing was out there.ย ย
"Shut the fuck up!โ Simon hissed out, as if he read your thoughts. The man in the radio paused, momentarily stunned byย theย harsh words โ before he kept on going,ย this timeย fully lashing out on the both of you. You ignored the Eden based insults, way too worried about your situation at hand.ย ย
Simon gestured you to stay away, before stepping next to the corner himself;ย holding the fire extinguisher inย wayย steadier hand than heย should.ย
A gasp got stuck in your throat as heย jumped out, ready to face whatever there wasโ...ย just to meetย nothing.ย ย
You focused so hardly on the threat youย didnโtย evenย noticedย when theย submarine reached the bottom of the Ocean, manโs voice turning to silence from the lack of connection.ย ย
You watch Simonโs shoulders drop, his hand reaching out to the button โ just to flash a bright light from the cameraโs screen.ย ย
"... Clear.ย Itโsโย Itโsย clear.โย
"What?โ You asked, eyes widening. You stepped closer, also smashing your hand against the button โ the same light now shining through the corner. No sight ofย human shapedย creatures, no twisted limbs orย drops of blood. Justย wall, and some old, unused deckย computer.ย ย
"What the fuck was that?โ Your voice shook, the adrenaline letting go off your nervous system. Your hands trembled as you tugged on your own hair.ย ย
Was it really just your imagination?ย But how could itย be,ย if Simon certainly saw it too?ย ย
"Hey, just- just calmย down forย once. It must have been- shit.โ It wasย clearย he was strugglingย too. After all, howย oftenย you get a shared hallucination?ย ย
"...ย Probably theย pressure messing with our heads.ย Thereโsย no reason to freak out.โย ย
You took a deep breathย inย but even this seemed to worsen up your state. Every breathย counted,ย every second could have a massive influenceย atย the outcome of your expedition. You felt sick.ย ย
"Fucking Christ!โ In a moment of weakness, the feelings took control. You were scared, tired,ย dehydratedย and angry. You smashed your hand against the button, needing a way to let go of the steam.ย ย
Simonย didnโtย commentedย on your outburst โ it was better if you let it out on the button, than on his face.ย ย
As the wall behind you light up again, the computer before youย didnโtย movedย an inch.ย Itโsย screen dark and turned off, completely out of use. For a split second you were even ready to grab the fire extinguisher justย toย smashย the screen into pieces if not for a small detail.ย ย
As the light turned off, you caught a glimpse of the side of the device. The whole wiring of it hidden behind the wall and under the metal plate, screws holding it together. Itย wasnโtย the metal plateย itselfย thatย got your attention but a signย on itย โ a symbolย youโveย seen so many times before and the same one that was now a scar on Simonโs neck.ย ย
Edenโs Sigil.ย ย
You urgently pushed the button again, the light flashing in the cramped space. You pushed past Simon, earning a confused groan in return before you kneeledย besidesย the computer.ย ย
As the light started to dim out again, you quickly glanced over your shoulder.ย ย
"Keep it on-!โย
"What the hell are you doing?โย
"I think I found something.โ you murmured, fingers grazing over theย carved outย edges. Simonย grumbled, butย still pushed the button to help you see in the dark.ย ย
"What the hell are you talking about-...ย holy shit...โ His own eyes widened as heย immediatelyย recognized the crossed lines. Withย handย still on the button, he watched as your hands unscrewed the panel โ his other hand unconsciously grazing over the same lines edged into his skin.ย ย
The panel popped open.ย Instantly, youย recognized the bracelet that was taped to it,ย the sight of itย making you suddenly breathless.ย
You pulled back, eyes wide as you held it:ย now starring atย the smallest and truest form of lifeย that remained in the rumbles of the universe itself.ย ย
You just found a bracelet with the seed of a last Tree โ the resin forever keeping it safe from the dangers ofย the current times.ย ย
Simon got uncharacteristically silent. Not in his usual, closed off way. This time it was from shock, the sight of the seed making him utterly speechless. You gently unraveled the note from bracelets rope before you slowly reached it to him โ almost afraid that too much movement wouldโveย breakย the resin into pieces.ย ย
"... Take it. Since... You lost your own.โ You could see the battle your words started in his face.ย His fingers twitched in the familiar gesture, even if heย still keptย his handsย back.ย ย
He wasย hesitating. The messy tangle of thoughts visible in his expression, his eyes darting from your face to the seed in thousands of unsaid questions.ย Youย didn'tย explain how you noticed his own bracelet missing.ย
Finally, he took it โ just as slowly as you, thumb caressing the edge of the resin. Giving it to him wasย a good idea. The seed would work asย a muchย better support than you could ever be.ย ย
You turned back to the computer, then glanced down at the note in your fingers. The wonky written sentence of โCross the Wiresโ made you pause.ย ย
Your eyes zeroed on the panel โ you had to push theย button of cameraย again to have a better look.ย ย
Lines of cables,ย tangled and pale-colored caught yourย eyes. Reaching out, you grabbed two ends,ย the sparks flying as you touched oneย endย with another madeย you jump.ย ย
"Wait, hold on- let me...โ Simon mumbled, setting his hand on your shoulder. You were too focused on the secret message itself to realize it was the first gentle touch you felt in aย years.ย ย
Youย movedย away, letting him have a look.ย As he tried to cross the wires,ย fewย more sparksย have flashed โย before the screen turned on withย yellowย glow.ย ย
You were ready to let out aย yell of triumphย if not for the message that appeared on the screen.ย ย
โWeย wonโtย beย returning to theย grove. This is the only hope I can offer you.ย Iโmย sorry.โย
Fewย seconds later, a recording started to play.ย ย
โThis is not an expedition... This is an execution.โย
The first words instantly changed the atmosphere โ hanging heavily in the air as the two of you just listened.ย ย
โWhen they put you in here... Theyย donโtย want you to return. And even if you do, and even if they keep their promises... What freedom waits for you?โย
โA few dying ships in a sea of dead stars. If there is still hope โ it lies...ย Beyondย the vail. Hope in this void is as illusionary as the starlight. I will choose toย breathย my lastย here. At the bottom of an Ocean.โย
โUnseen. Unheard. Uncontrolled. They will get their execution. I will get my freedom.โย
The audio recording ended with a click, casting both you and Simon withย unnamedย type of silence. You knew this voice. Simon knewย itย too. One of your fellow members of Eden โ a former brother and a friend.ย A person who died in a vessel just like yours.ย
Youย werenโtย the first ones down here.ย ย
You stood there in a weird state between comfort and grief. Between hope for better life and truth of death lurking in the edges of the time itself.ย ย Slowly, you moved your gaze to Simon. His head low, eyes focused on the resin in his hand.ย ย
Suddenly,ย yourย name fell from his lips. You glanced from his hand to the side of his face, his dark hair once again cutting his face from the view. At this point, it felt like the universe itselfย wouldnโtย allow you to have a proper lookย onย him except fromย fewย stolen glances.ย ย
You stayed silent, but your attention was on him โ on the way he clearly struggled to find the right words. Finally, he looked up, facing you properly for once.ย ย
"...ย Weโllย survive this.โย Heย didnโtย saidย anythingย more.ย
Didnโtย addedย wordย โtogetherโ,ย didnโtย questionedย orย hesitated. It was a statement, like the two of you had no otherย optionย thenย just survival.ย Like it was as sure as the motion of breathing you two shared.ย
You just nodded your head. Getting a proper answer, he just turned around and settled on the chair. You took your spot near the camera, hand already prepared to push the button.ย
.ย
.ย
.ย
"Why?โย
"Why are you letting them do this? To them? To you?โย
"Iย didnโtย say that! How could you even think that?โย
"No! The only sideย Iโmย on is ours โ what we used to haveโ andโโย
"How can you sayย that?!ย Iโmย not the one who forced you into this!โย
"No! No, I would neverโ Iโโย
"...โย
"..."ย
"You know...โย
โYou really are the fuckingย Butcher.โย
"Hey.โ Simonโs voice pulled you out of your slumber. Your eyes snapped open, wide with panic, as you looked around.ย
"Hey, justโ just calm downโโ His tone was surprisingly soft, almostย immediatelyย grounding your overwhelmed mind.ย
Right.ย Youโreย still alive. Nothing is going to happen to you.ย Youโreย still in a submarine with him.ย
Stupid fucking dream.ย
"Iโฆย yeahย โ uhm, sorry. Sorry for that. I must have drifted off for a moment.โย
"Yeah, no shit.โ Despite the tension in your body, youย couldnโtย help but notice how normal his voice sounded โ not harsh or heavy, but rather light. Maybe evenย amused.ย A tone youย didnโtย remember hearingย inย aย while.ย
"Where are we?โย youย mumbled, pushing yourself to your feet.ย Your body still ached, but it was more than bearable now.ย
"Nearย the skeleton, I think. The coordinates seem the same...โ He glanced over his shoulder at the panel.ย
"When I noticed your head dropping, for a second I thought the pressure got you.โ The way he spoke caught your attention. His tone was still soft but measured โ like heย didnโtย want you toย pick up onย the anxiety constricting his throat.ย
Youย didnโtย dwell on it, turning toward the button.ย Pushing, you were already imagining the long bones and teeth scattered around, but as the image appeared,ย there wasโ... nothing?ย
"Uhhโฆ you sure it was here?โ You turned to Simon, who was already stomping toward the panelย โย map in hand, with the coordinates written down.ย
"I'mโย Iย am sure. It was exactly right here!โย
"Okay! Okay, so maybe change the angle?ย Maybe weย approached it from the wrong side?โย ย
Simon let out a long breath through his nose but grabbed theย crank tightly.ย As he clickedย it to the left, the submarine started to rotate steadilyย in response.ย
In the end, you circled at least twiceย โย each photoย you tookย ending up only with the empty ocean floor and occasional shots of scattered bushes.ย
"I donโtย understand,ย it was right hereโ!โย ย
Simon scoffed, flipping through the pages of one of the manuals. He grabbed it in a surge of annoyance, hoping it would reveal some answers to this new mystery.ย You stood beside himย now, peering over his shoulder as he rapidly turned the pagesย โย stopping briefly at one of the instructions.ย
There, a grainy photo of a camera button was displayed:ย an entire page of information and explanations about the mechanism itself.ย
Between the lines, one sentence made you stop:ย
โUSE AT YOUR OWN RISK.โย
Before you could dwell on the meaning of the warning, Simon threw the manual back into place.ย
"...Soย what are we going to do?ย Itโsย not like the skeleton just got up and left, right?โย
"How the fuck would I know? It was there before, nowย itโsย gone. Iย donโtย even know how much timeย weโveย got left.โ Simon shook his head, rubbing his face in frustration.ย
You pressed your lips into a thin line. Deciding to push your luck, you placed your hand on his shoulderย โย not tightly,ย justย enoughย pressureย for him to feel it.ย
"Letโsย just... keep looking.ย Maybe theย coordinates are wrong. Itโs, uh... somewhere out thereย โย we justย gottaย find it again.โย
You felt awkward. Being so out of place trying to comfort someone, your words seemed almost patheticย โย unnatural and unused. Yet you still tried your best to give him a sliver of hope.ย Asย theย say,ย hope was a mother of the fools; and every mother loved her children.ย
Even if your little speech seemed ridiculous, you felt the tensionย leaveย his shoulders, even if just a little.ย This little ideaย of potential freedom, no matter how naive and fragile, was still the only thing keeping the two of you sane and focused on surviving.ย
He nodded slowly, placing his hand on the lever. Soon enough, both of you moved forward againย โย the submarine tilting upward as you reached the hill. You had to grip a pipe to keep your balance amid the vesselโs trembling.ย
Suddenly, the radio light flicked on again. Brief and almost unnoticeable, but there.ย
"Hold on,โ you murmured, making Simon stop the sub. Glancing at the depth meter, you clenched your jaw.ย
"Keep going.โย
"So, you want me to keepย going, orย hold on?โ he huffed.ย
"Justโย just get higher!โย
He shook his head again before pushing the leverย forward,ย the submarine obediently followingย the command.ย
โHello? Can you hear me?โย youย called out.ย
It took a fewย goodย seconds before the radio crackled to lifeย โย theย Captainโsย voice reaching you through the static.ย
โโonvict? Yes, weโearย you. Whatโsย goinโon? How far areย yoโawayโromย the location?โย Her every second word was cut off, the connection struggling.ย
Both you and Simon exchanged glances.ย
โAhhโฆ well, this isย gonnaย sound made upโฆ The skeletonโs gone,โย Simon grumbled out.ย
โโay that again, I caโtย hearย youโโย
Simon groaned in frustration, turning to face the radio properly.ย
โThe skeleton. Is. Gone!โย
A brief momentย of silence followed. You even wondered if the connection had been cut.ย
โHow caโ it beย gonโ?โย ย
โIย donโtย know.ย Weโreย at the coordinatesโฆ We took a picture.ย Itโsย just a big hill.โย
โMaybe it got buried?โย youย added, crossing your arms.ย
โโtandย by.โย The radio light turned off again. You waited in uncomfortable silence, tapping your finger as each second passed. Were they discussing something? Would they pull you out?ย
โI couldย havโ been moved in a quakeโ Tryโ moving around fortyโeters.โย
Of course,ย theyย wouldnโtย pull you out.ย
Simon sighed for theย nth timeย that day. Turning back to the panel, he muttered a thick โRoger that.โ then pushed the lever.ย
As you moved, you let yourself focus on everything you felt. Only now realizing how hot the inside of the submarine had becomeย โย the uncomfortable shirt clinging to your sweaty skin.ย
โWhy is it so hot in here?โย
โJust stay focused.โย Theย Captainโsย voice crackled through, the connection finally stabilizingย as the submarine got higher up the hill. You rolled your eyes in annoyance,ย brows furrowing.ย
โCan I not ask a question?โย
โNo.ย Stay focused and get the sample.โย
You clenched your jaw. Typical.ย
In moments like this, you wondered what was going through her headย โย whatย twisted imageย the C.O.I. held of Eden. What had begun this endless cycle of murder and hatred, more resilient than the end of the world itself.ย
Human nature was horrible. Even in the face of unstoppable doom, all we could do was hate each other;ย ready to sacrifice one life for another. No matter how many people were leftย โย 24 billion, 8 billion, 1 million, a few thousand, or just a few hundredย โย humans would always find a reason to hate.ย
Andย itโsย been a long time since you hoped things would change.ย
โOh, fuck it.โ Simon suddenly said, pulling you from your thoughts. Turning toward him, you watched as he tugged on his vest in frustration. He took off the rag that served as a hood, along with the belts holding it, and threw them on the ground.ย
Youย couldnโtย help but trace the line of his silhouetteย โย broad shoulders, so used to tension.ย Almost sinceย you knew him, he had always been well-built. You could even remember the feeling of his muscles when you traced the lines etched into his skinย andโย
No.ย No, no, no.ย Itโsย just your brain acting up from the heat, pressure, and dehydration. Get a grip.ย
You looked away, deciding to follow his lead. Unzipping theย jacketย theyโdย given you, you took it off and tossed it onto the floor. You also rolled up the sleeves of your shirtย โย up to your forearmsย โย hoping it would help.ย Itย barely made a difference.ย
โIโฆ Iย didnโtย mean for that to happen.โ Simon suddenly said. A few questions popped into your mind. Was he apologizing? For what he said?ย Orย maybe forย what happened between you?ย
โI justโฆ I was scaredโฆ the radiation, I mean.โย
โI know what you mean.โย theย Captainย spoke up, killing any hope that dared to appear in your mind. Right. He was talking about the camera incident.ย
At the same time, it was a new thing for him to admit his own mistake.ย If God still looked upon you, only He knew what had happened to Simon over the last twelve months.ย Both of them kept it hidden as a secret, under a lock and key.ย
โโฆHow bad was it?โย Simon glanced at the radio.ย
โDoesnโtย matter. Dwelling on itย doesnโtย help the cause.โย
You shook your head. You knew this woman was very stone-hearted, but you were starting to doubt if she even had a heart at all.ย
โAnd what is thisย โcauseโย youโreย talking about, huh?โ you joined in again.ย
โSurvival. The onlyย causeย we have left.โย
What does survival even mean to her? An endless life of work and imprisonment? Being bred like cattle under supervision? Spending your days rotting away in a metal box you traded for the last one?ย
โYeahโฆ tell that to the other poor bastards youโve left down here.โย
โฆย
โYou are the first one weโve sent out.โย
Fucking lies.ย
โWhatโs the point of lying to us, huh?!โ Simon snapped. There was more than enough evidence:ย the bracelet,ย the recorded message. Youย werenโtย the first down here, and yet sheย stillย keptย onย lying through her teeth.ย
โWhatโsย the point of any of this? What does it matter if you find a big, fucking skeleton? This all is just bullshitย meant to get me killedโโย
โDo you think I enjoy this?!โย Theย Captainโsย sudden scream made him fall silent. For the first time since you met her, she had shown real emotion โ not the cold, stone-like mask of an expression, but genuine anger mixed with something else;ย desperation.ย
โDoย you?!ย Thereย arenโtย enough of us left to be throwing lives away, butย thereโsย too much at stake not to take calculated risks! Edenย doesnโtย understand that โย youย donโtย understand that!โย
โWhatโs there to understand?!โ Both of themย wereย yelling now. As much as you wanted to intervene, youย didnโtย know how. You hated C.O.I. and never saw yourself as a true Eden member. Trapped between a hammer and a blade, you decided to stay silentย yet again.ย
โItโsย all over โย thatโsย what Eden understandsโฆ at leastย theyโreย not deluding themselves with some grand future forย humanity, ifย we all just believe hard enough.ย Game over, and you know it.โย
Both paused in their fiery argument, the atmosphere thickening with each passing second of silence. Then, the bombย dropped.ย
โโฆIs that why you destroyed Filament Station?โย
โฆWhat?ย
โTHATโโย Simonโs scream made you jump. The sheer fury mixed with shame, guilt bristling just like the red marksย youโdย seen so many times on his hands.ย
โThatย wasnโtโโฆ Thatย wasnโtย supposed to happenโฆโย
He sounded like he was about to cry.ย
You felt like a child again. All those nights when the two of you cried and comforted each other. Missing your parents, longing for the old days.ย Heโdย always hold your hand, andย youโdย hug him whenever tears threatened to spill.ย
Your arms itched to do the same now, but youย held them back, ignoring whatever pull wasย tugging atย your muscles.ย Theย Captainย didnโtย say anything after that. It seemed like even the ocean itself had fallen silent atย hisย outburst.ย
You wanted to say something. To pull him close and tell him it was going to beย alright. Because it would be, right? How could you even hold a grudge against himย now, whenย you finally got him backย andโย
โOxygenโย
The feeling vanished the moment the second square dimmed.ย
Both of youย immediatelyย looked at the oxygen trackerย โย half the oxygenย remaining.ย
You let out a shaky breath, squeezing your hands so tightly that your nails left dents in your skin.ย
Stop being fucking stupid.ย
โโฆLetโs just keep moving,โ you said, turning on your heel. Moving to the camera button, you pressed to get a view outsideย โย only to freeze again.ย
Theย head was right in front of you. The jaw moved slightly forward from the skull itselfย โย empty eyes staring right back at you.ย
โโฆSomethingโs not right,โ Simon instantly perked up at your words.ย
โWhat?โย theย Captainย asked,ย most likely notย so eager to continue the earlier conversation.ย
โTheโย the skeleton,ย itโsย back! And it movedโโย
โI told you already, the ocean floorย isnโtย static,ย things shift.ย Itโsย just what happens. You got your eyes on it?โย
Simon also stood up, walking toward you as he pressed the button again. The image flickered onto theย screen,ย your eyes focused on the white and black image. As the secondsย past, your brain suddenly screamed: something wasย not right.ย
โYeah, Iโm looking at it right now, butโย Iโm telling you, something isย wrong.โย youย tried to explain, gesturing toward the picture as if she could see you.ย
โIt looks likeย somethingโย ย somethingย placed it?ย Itโsย just the head, and itโsโโย ย andย it seemed like aย different skeleton.ย
โThe sooner you get the sample, the sooner you two come back.ย Soย stop wasting time gawking and just get it.โย
You groaned in frustration, nervously biting your lower lip.ย Glancing to the side, you noticed Simon staring at your face, his eyes observing every little change in your expression.ย He clearly sensed something was wrong tooย โย but, like you, he just wanted to get outย of this hell.ย
Finally, you nodded. Itย didnโtย matter.ย Most likely, itย was your overstimulated mind screaming at the smallestย thing. In some way, you should be thankfulย โย if the gas bubbles really did this, then maybe, just maybe, luck was finally on your side.ย
It was it. Take the sample and leave this forsaken place. Earn your freedomย and then... thenย what?ย ย
As much as you wanted to get out of here, what would you do? The recorded voice echoed in your mindย once more: what awaitsย onceย youโreย free?ย
No family. No friends. Just a life in enemy territory, where everyone would forever see you as an outcast.ย
Will you really regain your freedom? Or will you just exchange one cell for another,ย long nights on a mattress for long nights in a bed, with food barely different from prison rations?ย
And Simon? You still had so many questionsย โย so many secrets and thoughts you wanted to share. You wanted to know what really happened at Filament Station. You wanted to bring him back.ย
โโฆSoย we do this, and weโre done?โ You looked from the now-dark camera display to the radio, trying to ignore your brainโs persistent screamsย fromย reasons youย couldnโtย understand.ย
โFor now.ย Weโllย need more than just a sample to study.โย theย Captainย replied.ย
You clenched your jaw, looking down at your feet.ย Wrong, wrong, wrongโย but what was wrong?ย
โYouโre not just going to kill us as soon as we get up there?โ Simon asked nervously, eyes darting around the submarine.ย
โWhy would weโ?โย Her voice cut off into a long, heavy sigh.ย โโฆWe need your help, and you two will earn your place in the Consolidation.ย Thatโsย all.โย
Finally, you and Simon looked at each other again. You stared into his big, brown eyesย โย once again struck by the deep, rotten fear and sadness lurking behind his lashes.ย
โโฆLetโs do this.โ You nodded gently, your voice quiet enough for the radio not to catch.ย It was justย yourย imagination. It wasย justย your imagination.ย
Simon nodded back, slowly turning toward the panel.ย
โโฆIโmย sorry about the radiation. Iย didnโtย know.โ The apology felt flatย โย yet honest, at least. As Simon took his seat, theย Captainย responded.ย
โYou can apologize to my tumors. Just get the sample.โย
Here we go.ย
You moved to the back, gripping the metal corners of the submarine. Your heart started pounding again.ย
โJust ram it. Get the job done. The ship can handle it, I promise.โย
โAre you sure?โย youย asked from the back, sweat starting to form on your palms.ย
โI am sure. And I need you to trust me.ย Ram.ย The ship.โย
Thisย wasnโtย the most comforting advice, but you knew youย wouldnโtย get anything better. You heard Simon muttering to himself, trying toย mentally prepare himself.ย
โJust ram itโย And then weโre free.โย
โThen you can come back up.โย That was unnecessary, but you ignored it.ย
Both you and Simon looked at each other. Then, pointing at the radio, you both said at the same time:ย
โAnd then weโre free.โย
The action began. Simon harshly pushed the lever forward, and the submarine jerked into motion. You could feel the rattling of metal beneath your feet as the vessel gradually picked up speed. The coordinate numbers flickered more rapidly with each passing second as you closed the distance.ย
The light on the panel started to flicker. Your fingers clenched the metal so tightly that your knuckles turned white. For the first few seconds, the flickers came every secondย โย a warning of something ahead.ย
It started to flicker faster. What was once a mere warning turned into a jarring order to turnย around.ย Eventually,ย the light flickeredย almost constantly.ย
No matter how badly you tried to prepare yourself, youย couldnโtย anticipateย the exact moment of impact. The whole ship surged forward, almost knocking you to the ground. The hit was harsh and brutal, causing the metal to groan under the vibrations.ย
As everything calmed downโฆ you were still alive. No leaks, no blood sinking in. The ship had truly taken the hit. The light was still flickering angrily, even though the obstacle was right on the shipโs nose.ย
โIโฆ uhโฆ I rammed it.โ Simon called out, fixing his hair that had fallen over his face due to the force of the impact.ย
โDid you get it?โย
โHold on, one secโโ He pulled the lever back, forcing the submarine to reverse.ย Once the light calmed down a bit, you took it as a sign,ย pressingย the camera button.ย
The same skull from before stared at you with its empty sockets. The lower jaw was brokenโย a hole in the middle, teethย missing,ย bones fractured into pieces.ย
Simon joined you, staring at the same photo. You tilted your head slightly, speaking loudly enough for the radio.ย
โIโmย uhโฆ looking at something that might beโ a hole in the jaw?ย I think weย got it.โย
โGood.ย Alright, hopefully it can hold onto the sample during the ascent, or elseย weโreย gonnaย have to send you right back down.โย
Thatโฆ actually made you feel better.ย A soft smile grew on your face, the weight slowly lifting off your shoulders. The image gradually faded away, leaving the screen black.ย
โIs that it? With all the build-up, I thought there might be something more calamitous,โ Simon saidย pushing the buttonย once more.ย You didnโt bother to look at the screen โ too focused on the idea of actually leaving this shitย hole.ย Youย hadnโtย noticed the sudden change in Simonโs breathing.ย
As the Captain announced the beginning of theย ascent, you heard a quiet, terrified whisper of your name. You turned to Simon, only to see him staring at the photo. You managed to glimpse it in the last seconds before it fadedโย a massive, dullย eye staring right at the submarine from behind the skull.ย
The submarine shook as they activated the chain above, but it was already too late.ย
โWaitโ!โย youย called out, as the inside of the submarineย suddenly shook.ย The light started to flicker again as somethingย rapidlyย approached.ย
โHeyโ hey! There was something else!โ Simon shouted, panicย evidentย in his voice, his words cracking with fear.ย
โSay again?โย
โThere was something else!ย It was looking right at us!โย
You grabbed onto the pipe again, so tightly you thought the metal would bend beneath your fingers. The metal groaned around you, dulling the sounds of blood rushing outsideย along with the sounds of that cursedย thing.ย
โSomething alive? Are you sure?!โย ย
โYes, we saw a massive eyeโย andโโ Both of you screamed in shock when something bumpedย againstย the submarine. In the next second, the entire vessel erupted into chaosย โย itย wasnโtย just the floor trembling; it was the whole shape of it.ย
Itย wasnโtย just one lightย โย now all of them flickeringย aggressively, each on every side of the ring.ย
โSomething grabbed us!โ you shouted at the top of your lungs as the thing threw you around like a rag doll. Itย wasnโtย like the movement beforeย โย the entire submarine was being violently tossed.ย
Sliding from wall to wall, you could barely make out the screams of the crew over the radio;ย someone mentioning cutting the chain.ย
Before you could react, suddenly the submarine tilted vertically. Without a second to think, you were thrown right into the back wall.ย
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
A/N: You have no idea how excited I am for the layout of this story I've already planned. This one is still rather soft - the real fun will begin a little later :)
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
Summary: You're most likely the last member of Eden, you've been spending your days away under the lock and key of C.O.I. One day, the Captain gave you an offer - to weld you into a submarine with a stranger, and send down into the depths of one of the newly found anomalies - the Ocean of Blood. What will you do when the stakes grow far bigger than you'd ever anticipated, and the stranger you barely know turns out to be your long forgotten best friend?
Tags: IRON LUNG SPOILERS!!! Convict!Simon x Convict!Reader, reader is also an Eden Member, Reader is gender neutral, no mentions or descriptions of Y/N, Childhood best friends, slow burn, Angst, Comfort (?), Swearing, mention of violence, Religion based trauma, trauma in general, character death, Blood (ocean), I'll add more in the future.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Word count: 6k
โBeginning the descent.โย
You froze at the movement of the submarine.ย
The metal groaned around you, completely overpoweringย in volumeย whatever procedure announcements theย Captainย was currently reciting.ย
You watched as the red liquid completely blocked the view from behind the single window in this coffin.ย Itโs not like you were extremely fond of the darkness beyond, but it was definitely much better than whateverย thisย was.ย
The rattle of a chain connecting the submarine to the C.O.I. ship made your head spin. Even if the floor beneath you was metal, you could already imagine the wetness of cold blood clinging to your skin.ย
You could already imagine the taste of iron filling your mouth, the pain of liquid filling your lungs, you could already hear your own screams, muffled and gurgling asย blood would swallow you wholeโย
โIโm seeing some voltage irregularities on the instruments, so keep an eye out for any sparks or flames.โย
That did not help at all.ย
โ... Flames? Why would there be flames?โย
Simonโs voice seemed to be the only thing still grounding you. He was the only thing that stuck out from the grim environment of the shipโs guts, the only presence thatย didnโtย scream โdeath is near.โย
You saw him turn in his seat, looking into the dark back of the submarine.ย Youย didnโtย look up even when you felt his gaze fall onto you.ย
โIย donโtย know.ย Thatโsย why I warned you.โย
The speaker cracked, theย Captainโsย voice coated inย uncomfortableย static.ย
โ... Hey, you tested this thing, right?โ Simon raised his chin, staring up at the radio speaker as if it held all the answers. The only thing he received was theย Captainโsย blunt tone.ย
โThis is the test.โย Youย couldnโtย imagine how she could just sigh, as if itย wasย just a drop of inconvenience in a sea of problems.ย
โThe ship is welded enough to withstand pressure like a tank, justโย keep an eye on your depth whileย youโreย down there. The currents can be unpredictable, so make sure you twoย arenโtย wandering too far into the red. It can handle pressure, butย thereโsย a limit.โย
There were so many things you wanted to do. You wanted to personally wrap your hands around her neck and squeeze with all your strength. You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, just to let this growing feeling of dread out. You wanted to cry and beg them to bring you back, to leave youย to starveย inside the four walls of your cell.ย
None of it would have helped, though.ย
โClosing porthole shielding.โย You jerked at the sound of metal grinding against the hull.ย You watched as the shield slowly rose over the only window that still connected you to the outside world.ย
The red color of the ocean behind the glass disappeared, now sealed for good. This should have comforted youย โย it did not. With Simonโs reflection in the window, your eyes met for a split second. You looked away.ย
โ... What exactly do you want us to find? Youย havenโtย given us anything.โ you finally managed to speak, voiceย slightly raised to be heard over the never-ending rumble around you.ย
โWeย donโtย know.ย Youโreย the firstย onesย down. I told you that all we had were surface scans.ย Thatโsย whyย youโreย there... well,ย oneย of the reasons.โย
She pausedย briefly,ย her breathing cut short by the static.ย
โYou know, we salvaged that glass from Filament Station. Not a single scratch on it. Nice, right? Weย gotย lucky. Funny how some things survive and othersย donโt.โย
You wanted to scream. The alarm of an impending panic attack was already railing your senses, your lungs convulsing with the danger of hyperventilation. You tried your best to control your breathing, anxiously eyeing the oxygen tracker on the wall. Four lightsย stillย on. For now.ย
At some point, your eyes fell onto the glowing line of the depth meter. With each agonizing second, it went lower and lower, finally reaching the red zone.ย
โHey, youย hearย me? You said not to go into the redโย weโreย in the red!โ Simon called out, frantically gesturing toward the depth meter as if theย Captainย could somehow see him.ย
Soon enough, her voice rang out again, but only half of her words reached you. The static and pressure on the sub messed with the connection; the line between you and the C.O.I. was notย standingย a chance.ย
All you managed to understand were three things: map, coordinates, youโreย on your own.ย
The submarine finally stilled. After reaching the bottom of the ocean, everything stopped as if the world itself wanted to laugh at your fate.ย
You were alone. With him. At the bottom of the ocean.ย
Fucking God, your life is a joke, isnโt it?ย
Youย couldnโtย decide which was worseย โย was it the earlier, never-ending noise of machinery, or the sudden still silence that spread between you two?ย
You did the first thing that came to mind: looking upย โย andย immediatelyย regretted it.ย
Simon was on his feet now, breathing slightly faster from yelling at the silent radio. He was staring right back at you.ย
The band over his forehead held his curls awayย โย enough for you to see those familiar features for the first time in a long while.ย Youย couldnโtย tell if he was frowning or about to break apart, as the only thing you were focused on were his eyes.ย
Deep, almost black in this lightingย โย and so fucking terrified and confused.ย
For a brief moment, you were about to speak up.ย Bracing yourself to be the first one to break the ice,ย if not for him suddenlyย letting go of theย eye contact and sinking into a seat with a heavy sigh. After all, what was there to say? No matter how close you used to be, it meant nothing in the face of your current reality. The bond, no matter how strong, had been broken by too many mistakes along the way.ย
Neither of you spoke or moved for aย good few minutes. The only sounds were the poor groansย of the submarine itself and the slashing of blood on the other side of the metal wall. You tried to focus on your hands, touching each pad of your fingers with your thumbs,ย to distract your already overwhelmed brain.ย
Your hands stilled. His voice was quiet, as ifย afraidย of breaking the tension. His shoulders wereย raised, his head once again leaning low as he restedย his handsย on the control panel.ย
Why didnโt you?ย
You could haveย immediatelyย told him it was you. From the moment you recognized him until the last minute of descending intoย this hell. Yet youย didnโtย โย why? Because you were scared? Of what? Of him? Of yourself?ย
Of facing theย consequencesย of your own actions?ย
โ... I... wasnโt sure if it was the right time.โ The excuse fell flat, and you both knew it.ย
โYouโย ugh.โ He stopped mid-turn, his hands hiding his face from your view. Again, youย couldnโtย tell if he was furious, annoyed, or scared.ย Probably allย of the above.ย
You could hear his nervous breaths, how they whistled between his fingers. How the leather of the chair beneath himย screamedย as he leaned back.ย
โI thought you were dead.โย
โI thought so too.โย
โAnd yet, you didnโt say anything?โย
โWhy is it suddenly my fault?โย
โBecauseย youโโ he cut himself off, realizingย heโdย been raising his voice. Both of you glanced at the oxygen tracker.ย
โ... I was sure you were dead.โ His tone loosened slightlyย as he repeated himself. He sounded resigned, clearly tiredย โย wishing to be anywhere else but here.ย
โWhat areย you evenย doing here? Youย didnโtย participateย in the mission.โย
You swallowed thickly, throat tight with a mix of emotions.ย
โI... sneaked onto the transportation line.โย
โYou did what?!โย
His volume bounced off the metal walls.ย You tried your best to keep your eyes glued to the floor, not meeting his shocked gaze.ย
โI said: I sneaked ontoโโย
โI got it the first time, butย โย why?! Are you fucking crazy? Youย shouldnโtย even be on that ship in the first place!โย
Iย didn'tย wantedย toย looseย you too.ย A whisper spoke in your mind. You pushed it aside.ย
โYouโre not the one to tell me what to do,ย Simon.โย Your tone came out sharper thanย youโdย like.ย Youย didn'tย wantedย him to know. Youย didn'tย elaboratedย on the details onย why you wereย onย the Filament Station during the day of its explosion. It was better if heย didn'tย knew.ย
And yet,ย thatโsย not how you imagined your first conversation in yearsย โย full of sharp words and harsh tones. Notย inย theย wayย the two of you had ended things.ย
Not like this. Not again.ย
Your wordsย seemed to touchย something. Youย werenโtย sure if it was a nerve or an old wound, but it made himย backtrack, shoulders dropping like with deflatedย balloon. Simon clenched his jaw so tightly that you thought he might grind his teeth,ย just toย turn back to theย submarineโsย panel.ย
โ...ย Yeah. Sure, right,ย Iโmย fucking not.โ You saw the same nervous jerkย ofย his fingers. Suddenly, your own wrist feltย way tooย empty, but that only made you squeeze your hand into a fist.ย
If this expeditionย didnโtย end with you two clawing at each otherโs throats, it would be a miracle.ย
You took a deep breath, leaning your head back against the metal pipe. With your mind swirling with thoughts, you decided to focus on the here and nowย โย not on whatย used to be.ย ย
โ... Listen,ย letโsย just focus on what weย have toย do. The sooner we get to work... the sooner we can get out.โย
โYou seriously think theyโll let us go?โ The only lightbulbโs glow danced over his hair, casting a gentle hue on his silhouette.ย
โ... No.โย youย admitted wincing. โBut anythingโs better than staying here too long.โย
As much as heย probably wantedย toย โย heย couldnโtย disagree. No matter what happened between you two, you had to rely on each other.ย
Theย Captainโsย words echoed in your memory about โOne simple task.โ What an unfunny joke.ย
โ... Fuck me.โย In his words:ย alright.ย
You watched him reach into the bag near the panelย โย a couple of manuals and instruction guides covered in rust and dust. It wasย the only source of information you could find,ย dueย the fact that C.O.I. decided to keep all the details for themselves.ย He flipped through the first few pages of one manual before tossing it aside and pulling out a roll of paper, murmuring something under his breath.ย
โ... What do you have there?โย youย asked, finally moving fromย the floor to stand.ย With legs still like cotton, you managed to walk up to him close enough to glance over his shoulder.ย
He held a mapย โย the paper grey, with too many lines to follow. It had a set of coordinates on the edges, both Y and X, with a layout marked in a darker tone.ย Maybe theย layout of the bottom floor?ย
โ... I think they marked the spots they want us to check out,โ Simon grumbled, entirely focused on the papers before him. He reached for another manual.ย
Meanwhile, you decided to finally look over the submarine.ย Your steps were slow as you approached the back of the ship, your focus turning to a rectangular light on the wall.ย
Grazing your fingers against the plastic, you paused.ย A button,ย maybe? You pressed itย out of pure curiosity, causing the wall on your left to light up.ย
Both you and Simon jumped at the flashย โย sudden white light blinding you for a split second. As the image settled, you sawโฆ a black-and-white photo. It looked like a void of the starless sky itself, but this one had a clear view of the ocean floor.ย
โCamera.โย youย mumbled quietly, connecting the dots. Turning back to Simon, you saw him staring at youย โย only to look back at the manual in his hands.ย
You clenched your jaw at the obvious avoidance of eye contact.ย
Ignoreย the personalย feelings. Focus on getting out of here alive.ย
With a quick clickย ofย your tongue, you awkwardly settled your hands on your hips. Breakingย the silenceย wasย the hardest task so far.ย
โSoโฆ uhโฆ how about we split tasks? You handle navigation, andย Iโllย take photos every few secondsโโย
A knocking on the back hull cut you off mid-sentence. Both of youย immediatelyย turned to the rear wall of the submarine, the ringing in your ears louder than before.ย
The knocking, caused by whatever lurked in the depths, disappeared just as quickly as it had comeย โย leaving you both in even tenser silence.ย
The two of you exchanged a mute glance. Neither of you mentioned the sound.ย
And soon enoughโฆ you began your expedition.ย
You sat on the floor near the button, counting every twenty seconds between the pictures. As mundane as it sounded, it kept your mind busy. The small routine of counting, tapping your finger against your shoe, and clicking the button was a small comfort in this forsaken place.ย
Simon sat in the chair, guiding the submarine through the depths by the mapย โย stopping every few minutes to draw another line on the paper, signaling the distance already traveled.ย
You hated the silence, but youย didnโtย want to speak. You hated the distance, but youย didnโtย want to cross it. As much as counting helped, it stillย didnโtย stop you from glancing his way now and then.ย
Could you stillย countย each other as friends?ย No, youย didnโtย think soย โย after everything that happened. Too many words spoken in the heat of the moment, too many venomous insults spat in each otherโs faces.ย
Enemies? Youย didnโtย hate him. As much as the wound still ached and throbbed, you missed him more than anything. It was his face you imagined when nights in a cell became unbearable. His name you whispered in search of comfort. Memories shared with him that lifted your spirits in dark times.ย
You could never hate himย โย no matter how much looking at himย hurts.ย
Youโdย thought about this moment so many times. How it would go, whatย youโdย say. Would either of you apologize? Would he believe you if you told himย youโdย been reliving that horrible night every day in your nightmares? That losing him felt like your soul ripping apart?ย
That you felt more than just friendship?ย
Back then, youย werenโtย aware. It took you a long time to realize what your feelings really meantย โย what he meant to you. But after the incident, after saying things youย couldnโtย take back, you finally connected the dots.ย
The realizationย scared you more than anythingย โย more than the Quiet Rapture itself.ย
You were in love with Simon.ย
Love was a foolish thing. No matter if stars were here or not, it shined through every dark tunnel; somehowย never losing its brightness.ย
Youย didnโtย hate Simon, but you hated the fact thatย youโdย fallen in love with him.ย
And as soon as the two of you went your separate ways, as soon as you understood the true nature of your feelings, you locked them deep insideย โย promising yourself never to speak or even think about it again.ย
Then this bastard had to come back to life.ย
You were confused. You were scared. As mentioned, the old woundย hadnโtย fully healed. The tissueย hadnโtย sealed,ย hadnโtย eased the pain. It throbbed beneath your skinย and flesh, reaching into the deepest parts of the secret you swore to take to your grave.ย
Youย donโtย love him anymore. Keep telling yourself that.ย
Time passed, the onlyย indicationย of it was the seconds you counted and the changing view of the photos.ย In the time between taking photos,ย you'dย hear Simon muttering to himselfย โย another habit that feltย way tooย familiar. Curse you and your obsession with picking upย little thingsย about him.ย
โOxygen.โย
Both of you froze. Slowly, your eyes moved from Simon to the oxygen tracker. One light went out, leaving only three remaining. Your head suddenly felt too heavy. Limbs and joints stiffened, to the point of pain. Right. Limited oxygen.ย
โ... How... how far are we from the first spot?โย youย asked, unconsciously trying to change the subject.ย
Simon moved as stiffly as you did. The loss of just one light made his movements overly controlled. He was panicking internally, just like you.ย
โ... About 150 meters Y and 34 meters X.โ heย mumbled,ย his hand already settling on the handle, pushing the submarine forward.ย
You wanted to keep the conversation going. Fill this dreadful silence with white noise. Yet, no other questions left your mouth.ย
Crawling through the depths of the ocean, time felt weightless. No clock to tick over your head, no numbers to watch every few seconds. You focused on the photosย โย most of them static and empty, occasionally showing some dead bushes isolated in the dark.ย
Drip.ย
Your hand stopped above the button as a warm droplet fell on your hand. Your heart stopped beating, your breath halting in your chest.ย
The warmth of the drop made your skin tingle. Inย agonizinglyย slow motion, you looked at the back of your hand, expecting to see bloodย red stain.ย
It was clear.ย
A soundless gasp of relief escaped you. Itย wasnโtย blood. Itย wasnโtย a leak. Youย werenโtย about to drown just yet.ย
Looking around, you realized that this liquid had been slowly collecting on the walls, trailing down the pipes and surfaces, leaving colorless stains. Steam? Perhaps.ย
Thinking about it, the temperature had also risen slightlyย โย just enough to make your clothes feel too thick for this place.ย
You shook your head as if trying toย physically getย rid of the panic buzzing beneath your skin. Itย didnโtย matter.ย
โAre you listening?โ Simonโs voice pulled you out of your thoughts, making you blink. You stared at him for a moment, trying to reorient yourself.ย
โWill you take this fucking photo or not?โย
You blinked again. Realizingย heโdย been talking to you the whole time, and youย hadnโtย registeredย it. You mumbled a half-hearted apology before reaching for the button.ย
The image flickered withโฆ something. Something youย didnโtย want to see. Something right in front of the hull, with the obstacle warningย lightย flashing yellow on the control panel.ย
You wanted to pretend what you saw was just a pile of rocksย โย shaped in an unfortunate way by the ocean itself. You wanted to rub your eyes, just to make sure it was a hallucination.ย Itย wasnโt.ย
It was a skull. A big one. Mouth open wide in its last cry, sealed by death itself, with teeth bigger than your entire torso.ย
Right in front of you was the skull of something much larger thanย youโdย like.ย
Simon stood up, walking to stand beside you.ย You both watched as the black-and-white image slowly faded away.ย Before any opinions could be shared, the flickering light of the panel suddenly sped up.ย
The light at the tip of an arrow flickered fasterย โย something had gotten close. The light switched to the sideย โย something swam right next to your vessel. The light finally went outย โย the flickering stoppedย โย and that thing swam away.ย
Unfortunately, not for long.ย
The panel lightsย woke up to lifeย first,ย beforeย whatever creature it was swam right above the submarine. The first wave was slow, circling the metal craft.ย
The second wave was less merciful.ย You had no idea what it wasย โย but it wasย definitely alive, andย big.ย The panelโs alarms blared, flickering on and off simultaneously, before a strong wave shook the submarine.ย
Both you and Simon lost your footing, thrown to the ground by the sheer force. You could hear the cry of the submarine, theย swishingย bloodย caused byย somethingย swimming above you.ย
Thrown around like a rag doll, your back hit a pipe, air pulled from your lungs.ย Struggling to breathe, you were pushed to the side, your shoulder hitting theย sharpย edge of a corner.ย Aย suddenย pain shot through you, clouding whatever thoughts you still had.ย You swore you heard a crack.ย
Simon was no betterย โย pushed back by whatever creature targeted you as its prey. He rolled off the chair, collapsing on the ground in an awkward position. You heard him groan in pain before another harsh move sent you both crashing to the floor.ย
Is this howย youโllย die? Crushed, eaten, or drowned in this hell? Watching your pathetic lifeย endย at the bottom of the ocean?ย
Simon was on his stomach,ย justย as terrified as you.ย His breathing was quick and ragged, only stopping when you heard the crackle of the radio.ย
As the Captainโs voice became clearer, you managed to glance at the depth indicatorย โย you were being pulled up.ย
โCoโictsโ Coโnvicts? Convicts, answer me!ย Whatโsย your status?!โย
Theย Captainโsย voiceย cutย through the radio,ย urgent. It took you a moment to gather yourself and reply.ย
โUhโฆย yeahโฆ I thinkโฆโ you rasped, finallyย managing toย catch your breath.ย
โWhatโsย your status? Is the hull damaged?โย
โYou didnโt tell us thereโd be anything down here!โย Simon roared, his voice more stressed thanย youโdย ever heard it. The static was too strong to understand everything she said, except for the words โback down.โย
โBack?ย Back?!ย Noโย no fucking way!โ Simon spatย atย the radio, trembling like a leaf.ย
โIโmย done.ย Weโreย done. Justโย bring us back up and throw us in prison.ย Weโreย notย gonnaโโย
The submarine finally stopped somewhere halfway through itsย ascent,ย the roar of metal dying away. Simon looked close to breaking down,ย snifflingย and huffing like a cornered animal.ย
โJustโย tell meย if thereโs a problem, because if you fell, theย hullย could beย punctured,ย whichย means a leak,ย which meansย flooding,ย which meansย bothย of youย die.โย sheย said.ย
You could hear his nervous gasps, each breathย just as shallowย asย the last. The harsh reality seemed to break through the wall of anxiety as he looked aroundย the space.ย
You slowly managed to stand, grimacing at the pain in your back and arm. The backย wasnโtย the worst, but the shoulder you hit against the corner brought tears to your eyes.ย Looking around yourself, youย didn'tย noticedย anyย damages. Which was... good. For now.ย
โIt... uhm... seems fine.โ Simon finally stuttered out, squeezing his hands to keep them from shaking.ย
โGood, thatโs... good. Iย canโtย see much, butโ...ย it seems the hullย is in one piece, soย weโreย going to check on your progress while we wait for the ocean to settle down.โย
Yourย eyesย widened. The ocean? It was the oceanย itselfย thatย shookย theย wholeย submarineย asย ifย itย wereย aย puppetย on a string?ย
โSe-settle? What does that mean? Isโย Is that why everything was shaking?โย youย muttered loud enough for the radio to pick up.ย
โEssentially,ย yeah... The bottomย isnโtย exactly rock.ย Itโsย justโย layers of conjured blood and gas bubbles.ย Thatโsย why I said it was unstable.โย
After that, you heard theย Captainย call out to someone about the pictures, while you and Simon tried to calm down from the panicked haze.ย
You leaned against the wall with your good shoulder, hand holding onto the hurting one.ย For your luck, theย crackย you heard earlierย seemed to beย a false alarm. You still could move it freely, even if it stung like hell.ย
Letting your breathingย finallyย slow down, your eyes went up to meet Simonโs. For some reason, each time you looked at each other, you both paused in this weird staring contest. Heย seemed to noticeย the way you were holding your arm, something in the shape of worry forming on his face.ย
It wasย goneย asย quicklyย asย itย came, as theย Captainย onceย againย spokeย toย youย both.ย
โHoly shit... Did youย twoย find a skeleton?โย ย
As much as you tried, youย couldnโtย help the little amused smile that crept onto your lips. Even in the face of the most fucked-up situation,ย he stillย had the guts to useย sarcasm.ย
For a longย minute, there was no response from her. For the time being,ย itย almostย seemedย likeย she left you to continue the expedition, as if the skeleton meant nothing in her eyes.ย
โWeโreย pullingย youย up.โย
Her tone was firm, and it barely prepared you for the harsh tug on the submarine. The inside of the vessel started to shake once more, forcing you to remind yourselfย โย itโsย just them.ย Itโsย just the C.O.I. pulling you back up, not whatever thing had found you down thereย before.ย
Simon dropped into his seat again. As her comments turned into white noise in the background, your focus was once more on himย โย on how he struggled to calm his breathing, his eyes nervously searching for some point of comfort.ย
โ... Remember the three-second rule.โย youย remindedย him,ย loud enough for him to hear over the rattling of metal. Your wordsย seemed to catchย him off guard; his shoulders squared as ifย heโdย forgotten you were still here.ย
โ...ย Yeah.ย Yeah, it was... uhโโย
โInhale for three seconds, hold for three seconds, exhale for three seconds.โ You finished for him. The exact instructions your mom taught you all those years agoย โย and the ones you later taught Simon as kids.ย
Heย seemedย toย rememberย thisย littleย trick.ย Youย didnโtย sayย anythingย more,ย justย watchedย as heย closedย hisย eyesย andย followedย theย stepsย thatย hadย helpedย himย in the past.ย
Inhaleย for 1...2...3.ย
Holdย for 1...2...3.ย
Exhaleย for 1...2...3.ย
Youย didnโtย mention the way his shoulders relaxed, even if it was barely noticeable.ย
A wheeze of steam hissed outside, then everythingย was drownedย in darkness.ย The power ofย submarineย wasย cut short, causing the lights to turn off completely.ย Your senses screamed in sudden vulnerability when the window shielding was pulled down.ย
Theย Captainโsย faceย appearedย in theย frame,ย wipingย off theย bloodย trailingย downย ontoย theย glass. Bothย youย and Simonย immediatelyย movedย to theย window,ย whichย nowย wasย yourย onlyย sourceย ofย light.ย
โHey, soโย uh,ย whatโsย the deal? Are we done?โย
Unfortunately, the Captain seemed to barely listen. She turned around, callingย out to someoneย ofย the crew. Theyย seemed to beย looking at the photos you took, finally getting a goodย lookย ofย themย themselves.ย
Both you and Simon exchanged glances. You pressed your lips into aย thin linesย shrugging, then pressed your ear to the window.ย
Unfortunately, neither of you managed to catch the full conversation. The only points you heard were something about moving fast, oxygen, and going...ย back.ย
Sheย canโtย beย serious,ย right?ย
Theย Captainย walkedย backย to theย windowย onceย again,ย wipingย theย bloodย off theย glass.ย
โHey, soโย we found something, right? Something good?โย
โWeย downloadedย theย picture. Itย doesย lookย likeย a skeleton to me.โย
โSoโย come on! Get us out of here, please?โย
โWeย canโt. Like I said,ย youโreย welded in. If we pull you out now, we might miss the opportunityโโย
โWhat do you mean youย canโt? Itโsโย itโsย not going to take long, just pleaseโโย
โIt mayย not take long for you, but every second counts for us. Another slip, andย the skeletonย mightย goย somewhere weย canโtย reach. So,ย weโreย giving you something to get the sample.โย
A sample?ย
A fucking sample? Sheย couldnโtย be serious, right? Completely dismissing your pleas and ignoring the information you just provided?ย
As she turned away, you were about to scream after herย โย if not for Simonย doingย it first.ย
Theย Captainย slowly leaned in, her faceย seemingly splitย in half by theย long lineย of blood trailing down the glassย โย one side looking human, the other signaling the monster she acted like.ย
โItโsย not like weย donโtย want the deal.ย We want the deal!ย Iโย Weย want to make amendsโฆ butย itโsย not worth it.โ You saw in the corner of your eye how he desperately tried to stay calm,ย justย like you. His trembling hands were invisible to theย Captainย but painfully obvious to you.ย
โItโsย not worth it forย us,ย itโsย not worth it for you.ย Youโreย fawning over this skeleton, butย youโreย notย hearing usย when we say there might be something elseโย somethingย alive.โย
Theย Captainย justย stared. Her faceย soย closeย if not for the glass separating you. You and Simon trapped inside a submarine like animals in a cage, while she stood outside, watching you suffer forย entertainment.ย
Slowly,ย sheย smirked, and with the most ignorantย toneย youย couldย imagine,ย sheย said:ย
โThereย mightย justย be.โย
All the blood drained from your face as she turned and grabbed something. Itย looked like a mechanical arm, though it was hard to tell through the lines of blood streaked across the glass.ย
โWeโreย going to put this on the front of the sub. All you have to do is point it in the right direction. Once it makes contact, it should be able to grab onto something and holdย onย tight.โย
โI am.ย Youโllย have to hit hardย too. Hardย enough to make sure it catches. Youย wonโtย be able toย see if it works, so thereย wonโtย be a second chance.โย
โSoย you don't just want us to ram it,ย you want us to ram it atย full speed!?โย youย asked in disbelief.ย
โWhatโsย this game of charades? Why all thisย trouble? If you want us dead so badly, why donโt you do it yourself!?โ Your voice sounded strange to you. Youย couldnโtย remember the last timeย youโdย yelled that harshlyย โย atย the C.O.I. member at that.ย
โThis is the best we haveย โย and itโsย aย lot moreย than you two deserve.โย
Panting, you stared right back at her.ย Her cold tone made you tremble with goosebumps.ย The constant wiping of the glassย didnโtย help. Every time she cleared the blood, it either left stains or came back with more drips. Once the blood is spilled,ย itโsย always hard to get ridย of.ย
Itย wasn'tย fair. None of this was fair. You wanted to scream, to bang your fists against the hull, to rip your way through the wall just to strangle her. Youย didn'tย causedย the explosionย ofย Filament Station. Youย weren'tย the one behind theย wreckage, and youย wereย certainly sure Simonย wasn'tย either.ย
Right?ย
Soย were the two of you paying for not your own sins?ย
โThis is bigger than any of us.ย So just do your job.โย
With that, another man approached the submarine. You recognized him from the funky hat and dark coat hanging over his shouldersย โย Jack.ย
You saw him attaching something to the hull, sparks flying from welding,ย the flashย stinging your eyes.ย
โDo our job? Oh,ย Iโmย sorry, the handcuffs must have confused meย โย Iย didnโtย realizeย it was voluntary!โย Simon snapped.ย
As you tried toย comprehendย the cruelty of herย actions,ย ย Simonย decided toย throwย a tantrum. He screamed after her,ย starting toย frantically press every button and pullย every lever on the panel. Nothing worked. Theย Captainย simply turned to her crew.ย
Theย nextย moment was aย blurย ofย motion.ย
Simon kept shouting, his rage reminding you of past times. He had always been impulsiveย โย doing things without thinking, driven by emotion.ย
Instantly, a flash of blinding white light appeared outside the window, accompanied by a loud scream. You froze as the wall next to Simon also lit upย โย the photo now showing three people, or ratherโฆ their skeletons.ย
โOh, good, now you can hear me! Get someone else for your suicideย mission, becauseย weโreย notย gonnaโ!โย
โYou blasted us with radiation, you psycho-idiot fuck!โย Youย could see the exact moment whenย Simonย connectย the dots too.ย
The image slowly faded out.ย Suddenly, it was obvious - aย normal cameraย wouldnโtย be able to see through flesh.ย
โItโs not a normal cameraย โย you canโt see through blood, so you needย X-raysย to get through!โย
Youย remainedย silent, watching as the reality of the situation sank in. You heard Jack mumble that he managed to finish the weldingย โย even after being exposed to an unimaginable amount of radiation. The way he looked at you through the glass would haunt you forever.ย
โLook, Iโย Iย didnโtย know.ย Iโmย sorry, butโย if you had talked to me, thisย wouldnโtย have happened!โ Simon raised his voice again, the blue light from outside almost blurring his features.ย
Theย Captainย finally looked back at you both. Her jaw was setย tight,ย her words were cold.ย
The submarine whirled to life as they released the safety locks. Forย fewย seconds, you floated in the airย as the submarine startedย to fall,ย just to drop on the ground withย pain ripping through your body.ย
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
A/N: Heheheheheh welcome
I promise that by the next champter there's going to be more Reader - Simon interactions. First, I wanted to set up the scenery first, for all the tasty snacks coming your way. Most likely, it'll be yet another movie-based fanfiction of mine, but I'll try to go a little bit more crazy with this one. Stay tuned :)
โโโโโโโโโเณแฆ๐ฉธแฆเณโโโโโโโโโ
Tags: IRON LUNG SPOILERS!!! Convict!Simon x Convict!Reader, reader is also an Eden Member, Reader is gender neutral, no mentions or descriptions of Y/N, Childhood best friends, slow burn, Angst, Comfort (?), Swearing, mention of violence, Religion based trauma, trauma in general, character death, Blood (ocean), I'll add more in the future.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Word count: 2.8k
The laughter of children filled the air, bouncing off the glass ceiling of the station.ย You sat on top of the Tree, hands over your mouth to prevent any giggles from escaping.ย ย ย
Simon was slowly looking around, walking beneath the long branches of the Treeโs crown. For the last thirty minutes, you, Simon, and a few other kids had been playing hide and seek โ now youย beingย the only one left.ย ย ย
You watched him glance into every spot at least three times: next to the air vent, behind the scattered boxes. You watchedย himย scratching his head in confusion, while the other kids sat already in the cafeteria, grumpy about losing the game.ย ย ย
As you movedย onย the branch, a few leaves fellย โย one landing right on Simonโs head.ย ย ย
โHey!ย Thatโsย not fair!โย heย called out, finally spotting you.ย ย ย
A wave of laughter left you almostย immediately,ย leavesย joining withย joyfulย rustle.ย ย ย
โThere were no rules about going up!โย ย ย
โMister Walter will be mad!โย ย ย
โMister Walter wonโt know!โย ย ย
โWhat Mister Walter wonโt know?โย suddenlyย a voiceย rang out. Both you and Simon paused, eyes widening as a man stepped into the open space of the main chamber.ย ย ย
Mister Walter, the main caretaker of Eden,ย first eyed Simon,ย beforeย his gaze dropped on youย โย brows instantly risingย on his forehead.ย ย ย
He called out your name, his surprised expression turning into a frown.ย ย ย
โGet down, right now!โย yourย little body tensed as you hurriedly moved off the branch, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.ย ย ย
Soon enough, you and Simon stood side by side,ย headsย down asย the caretakerย adjusted his glasses.ย ย ย
โWhat were you two thinking? Climbing the Tree like that? What have I told you about playing in this part of the station?โย ย ย
โThat... The Tree is a โno playโ zone.โ you said slowly, fiddling with the edge of your shirt.ย ย ย
โExactly.ย The Tree is a โno playโ zone, and definitely โno climbโ zone!ย Youย couldโveย hurt yourself. And you, Simon?ย Youโreย older,ย youโveย been here the longest. Why didnโt you stop them?โย ย ย
โ... Iโm sorry, Mister Walter.โย Simonย mumbled,ย his fingers unconsciously playing with theย littleย bracelet around his wrist.ย ย ย
The man sighed, shaking his head. Crossing his arms over his chest, heย staredย both of youย down,ย his usual warm face now twisted into a scowl.ย ย ย
โDonโtย do that again. You know the rules.โ His tone was firm but not harsh.ย Atย least,ย not yet.ย
โWe canโt risk hurting the Tree.โย ย ย
โWe must protect it...ย at all costs.โย ย ย
.ย
.ย
.ย
As you opened your eyes, tears stung your eyelids. Your vision blurry, even though there was barely anything to see inย cell drowned inย darkness.ย
Why are you crying? Itย wasnโtย even a badย dream. Justย a memory from theย past,ย ย aย dayย that happenedย longย before everything went toย shit.ย Thereโsย no reason to cry.ย ย ย
Wiping your eyes, you shifted in your spot, body aching from being curled up against the wall for too long. When did you even fall asleep? What time is it?ย ย ย
After the conversation with theย Captain,ย justย asย she said, both of you had been put into one cell. Neither ofย youย spoke,ย noneย ofย youย evenย tried toย look at each other properly, except for a few stolen glancesย from the corner of anย eye.ย
Simonย didnโtย seem to acknowledge your presence. His eyes were always glued to the ground beneath his feet,ย thoseย black curls coveringย the sight ofย hisย face.ย Yet, even without a clear view, you knew.ย ย ย
You knewย theย shape of his jaw, even if itย wasย sharper than you rememberedย โย coated in dark stubble, adding seriousness to his appearance.ย ย ย
You knewย theย line of his nose, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks, the little twitches of his fingers whenever he was nervous. You knew it all.ย ย ย
Butย it seemed heย didnโtย know you.ย ย ย
Or worse: he wasย pretendingย heย didnโtย know you.ย ย ย
Since being confined within these four walls, all he did was walk to the only mattress on the ground and lie with his backย towardsย you. No words, no warm reunionย โย just silence filled with the sounds of breathing.ย ย ย
You took the spot near the corner of the cell... and didnโt even notice when you fell asleep.ย Although, thisย dull pain in your neck was nothing compared to the sting in your chest.ย ย ย
Sorrow? Nostalgia? Loneliness?ย ย ย
Grief?ย ย ย
Did he remember? The days spent playing together? The soft whispers when you were supposed to sleep? The tic-tac-toe games on the margins of your notebooks when you learned about Earth?ย ย ย
Did he remember you?ย ย ย
He could, or he could not. It was hard to tellย โย your own memory often betrayed you. It was hard to recall anything beyond the Quiet Rapture. Beyondย the days ofย just surviving.ย ย ย
Mister Walter.ย Heย was such a kind man, filled with compassion and care for you and the other kids.ย ย ย
But as the stars dimmed and disappeared from the sky, those emotions also evaporated. In the face of darkness, a new man was born.ย ย ย
The Father.ย ย ย
Goosebumps rose on your skin at the mereย thought. Soย muchย pain, so much blood spilled. And for what?ย ย ย
If you thought about it, there were always signs.ย Cluesย of something hidden beneathย thoseย dark glasses and kind eyes. He had always been a little...ย too fixatedย on the Tree of Edenโs station.ย ย ย
Who would have thought it wouldย soonย becomeย theย Last Tree in the entire galaxy?ย ย ย
Unconsciously, your gaze moved to Simonย โย his back still turned to you. The onlyย indicationย of him stillย beingย thereย was the soundย of hisย breathing.ย You could even see the steady movement of his body with each breath if you squinted enough.ย ย ย
Either way, the question still stands.ย ย ย
What could you do? Or say?ย Itโsย not like you wanted to go on that mission. Until yesterday, you believed you were theย only oneย leftย โย the last life of Eden, clawing its wayย throughย thisย madnessย justย to survive. And now, youย were withย the only person you ever called a friendย โย right beforeย an expeditionย that could cost you your life.ย ย ย
There was noย optionย to refuse. The Consolidationย didnโtย care for your opinion. All they wanted was for you to clear your name, to join their little work-filled oasis, and rot under their supervision.ย ย ย
You heard a groan. Your body froze asย the sounds of rustlingย came from the mattress.ย ย ย
In the darkness, you saw him moveย โย turning onto his back, arm thrown over his eyes. Anotherย sound you heard wasย theย whistlingย breathย ย heย let itย out through his nose.ย ย ย
Youย didnโtย move. With your own breath held, you stared, waiting forย anything.ย ย Aย word.ย Aย hum.ย Anyย signย thatย he wasย awake.ย When nothing came, you relaxed slightly.ย ย ย
โWhat time is it?โย You frozeย againย asย hisย gruff voice broke the silence.ย Gravelly, heavyย likeย the stuffy airย itself,ย butย with aย niceย ring to it.ย At the same timeย with a strangeย weight,ย as ifย heย wasnโtย used to speaking much.ย ย ย
โI... Iย donโtย know...ย Probably aroundย 5ย A.M.,ย maybe 6.โ you rasped.ย Your voiceย wasn'tย anyย better: hoarseย fromย the constantย tasteย of iron inย yourย mouth,ย the soundย unfamiliarย to your own ears.ย
You never pulledย your eyesย off him, as ifย he mightย explodeย atย anyย given moment.ย As if the ghost ofย someoneย you knewย so wellย was about toย dragย youย through the floor into theย neverย endingย void outsideย the walls.ย ย
Heย didnโt. Anotherย groanย leftย himย asย he shiftedย onย the mattress.ย Hiย barelyย visibleย bodyย sittingย up,ย the edges ofย hisย silhouette blurring with theย background.ย ย ย
You bit the inside of your cheek. So many questions filled your mind, yet none of themย daredย toย escape. Howย did he survive? What happenedย onย Filament Station? Was he the one who blew it up? What about the rest of the Brotherhood?ย ย ย
Are you the only two left?ย ย ย
โAre you... also from Eden?โย heย finally asked.ย ย ย
You swallowed thickly, your own saliva barely soothing the dryness. The question confirmed your suspicion: heย didnโtย recognize you.ย ย ย
โ... Yeah.โ For a moment, you thought he might askย youย your name, how you survived, what happened after you lost contact.ย ย ย
Ask what happened after the argument.ย ย ย
But heย didnโt. He rubbed his face, nails scratching his stubble.ย Hisย headย alwaysย leaning down, eyes fixed on some distantย spot.ย Neverย onย you.ย ย ย
โSo... what are we going to do?โย ย ย
No matter how much you wished otherwise,ย the realityย hadnโtย changed. You still had to be forced into a submarine,ย just toย headย somewhere unknown.ย Stillย had toย faceย theย unfair consequences ofย crimesย youย didnโtย commit.ย ย ย
โWhat can we do? They want toย fuck us up.ย Allย weย canย doย is danceย asย theย say.ย Alwaysย as theyย fuckingย say.โย He shifted, arms resting on hisย half pulled upย knees.ย Even inย the dark cell,ย you stillย noticedย thatย twitch in hisย fingers,ย reachingย toย theย seed braceletย thatย wasn'tย there.ย
โYou really think theyโll let usย freeย after this?โย ย ย
โ... I donโt know.โย ย ย
The silence that followedย hisย wordsย wasย worse than the stench of the cell itself. Dripping withย tension andย nerves,ย making your palmsย of your handsย sweat.ย ย ย
In someย weird,ย twisted way, you longed for your old routine: wake up, eat, work, return to your cell, eat, sleep.ย ย You long for theย onlyย stabilityย youย had for theย lastย year.ย
Suddenly, the lightsย flickedย on. Your eyes flared in pain, struggling to adjust to theย newย brightness.ย ย ย
You saw him do the sameย โย ย hisย shoulders tenseย and high,ย yetย headย dippedย low,ย almost hiddenย betweenย hisย knees.ย His dark,ย messyย curlsย served as a curtain hiding his face. Always so close,ย yet so far,ย furtherย for anyone orย anythingย to reach.ย Especiallyย everย sinceย Eden turned him intoย this.ย ย ย
Then he moved. A sigh escaped his lips as he raised his head,ย thoseย sad,ย brownย eyes finally meeting yours.ย ย ย
The world seemed toย stop onย it'sย tracks.ย ย
Neither ofย youย spoke. You held eye contactย โย an unspoken string about to snap.ย You tried toย readย throughย everyย thought visible on his expression;ย every word left unsaid hanging in the air,ย likeย lettersย erasedย from the page.ย You saw him connect the lost face to a long-forgotten name.ย ย ย
Likeย a ghostย of a deadย friendย coming back toย life, rightย beforeย hisย eyes.ย ย ย
โ... Youโย โย theย screech of metal cut him off mid-word.ย ย ย
Both of you turned to the door, metal screeching with years of rust. Youย sawย asย no one else thanย Captain herselfย steppedย insideย ย ย
Her presence twisted yourย insides. Now toweringย aboveย you, she looked like a giant ready to crush you beneath her foot.ย ย ย
โSo. Have you made up your mind?โย ย ย
You clenched your jaw, words dying on your tongue. You refused to look away from her face, even as Simonโs gaze burned into your skull. She waited patiently,ย one healthyย eyeย shiftingย from you to him,ย as ifย inย an attemptย ofย readingย theย answer offย yourย faces.ย ย ย
Fortunately, Simon was the one toย cut throughย the tension.ย ย ย
โItโs not like we have any other fucking choice.โย youย watched him get up from theย corner of your eye, hisย wordsย sealing your fates.ย ย ย
You roseย as well,ย trying toย ignoreย the painful pop of your joints, keeping your hands close to your body.ย ย ย
Theย Captainย onlyย nod,ย beforeย glancingย over her shoulder. Two more guards entered, faces you did not recognize just to put handcuffs on your wristsย ย
The two of you left the cell, being led through the prison ward. First came a meal,ย the bland MRE paste barely satisfying your hunger. Then they were merciful enough to give youย time toย showerย withย some raggedย clothes.ย Even if the materialย scratched your skin inย unpleasantย way, you stillย didn'tย complained.ย
Neither of you spoke during the entire process. Always watched by guards or theย Captainย herself. No matter how big the elephant in the roomย wouldย got, there was neverย a second forย a properย conversation.ย ย ย
You still felt his gaze drill into you every time you were taken elsewhere.ย ย ย
Eventually, you moved to a hangarย โย the part of the shipย youโdย never seen the blueprints of. In the past, during the war between C.O.I. and Eden, Eden members hadย toย memorizeย theย layout of the enemy station. Why? You neverย thoughtย toย ask.ย Maybe theyย planned to attack someday?ย ย ย
The hangar wasย ratherย small.ย Walls white and clean, one side of the roomย specificallyย forย theย controlling systems. Screensย on the wallย flashingย withย diagrams andย numbers youย didn'tย understand.ย Some with photos and scans, some broken, unused. The control panel flickered with buttons and lights, with twoย men arrangingย everything.ย ย ย
The other half was different: a massive hatch on the groundย โย likely anย entry for shipsย when the station was purely forย scientificalย matters.ย Although, theย hatchย itselfย wasn'tย theย main focusย of your thoughts now.ย ย ย
Above the hatch, a submarine waited.ย Hangingย byย safety locks and chainย attached to its roof,ย it stuckย out like a sore thumbย โย its dark, rusty metalย being a stark contrastย against the white environment of the hangar.ย ย ย
โYouย should consider yourselfย lucky. Sinceย I'mย the person responsible for your sentences, you will get another chance.ย Any other personย wouldโveย sentenced you toย deathย immediately.โย ย ย
Her confidence made you wince. She gestured to the submarine, her dead eye shining in the blue light.ย ย ย
โThe SM-13. Your ride for today.โย ย ย
โYou want to send us down...ย in this?โย You found your voice after a while, your eyes moving from her face to thisย joke of a ship. It looked like it could burst into pieces in the span ofย fewย seconds.ย
โItโsย sturdy.ย Itโllย take the pressure, but not forย too long.ย You'veย got the idea of the mission.ย If you want to join the Consolidation,ย you betterย donโtย wasteย anyย time.โย ย ย
As much as you wanted to protest, youย didnโtย mention how the โyouโll earn your freedomโ suddenly became โjoin the Consolidation.โย ย ย
To her,ย maybe itย was the same. To you, it wasย prison,ย justย under different circumstancesย andย name.ย ย ย
Theย Captainย turned to herย crew, just threeย peopleย besidesย the guards. One, a man named Jack, nodded and rushed to theย submarineโsย backย at her command.ย ย ย
Your hands jerked as the guardsย unlocked your cuffs.ย The loss of weightย didn'tย madeย youย feel any lighter aboutย all ofย this..ย
The restย was aย blur. They pushed you forward. You movedย aroundย the submarine. Steppingย in from the back,ย the wall was closed behind youย โ theย soundย ofย weldingย metal to metalย madeย yourย neckย twitchย uncomfortably.ย
The submarine seemed even smaller from the inside than from the outside;ย likeย a coffin, not a ship meant to keep you alive.ย
A windowย on the front, rightย above the control panel. One chair bolted to the floor, filling the already cramped,ย claustrophobicย space.ย
Theย Captain'sย face appeared through the scratchedย glassย โ herย featuresย blurred,ย shadows cast over her expression.ย ย ย
โOn the right, you have the oxygenย tracker, keep an eye on it.ย Itโsย enough airย to keep you aliveย for a few daysย โย butย donโtย getย tooย comfortable.โย ย ย
Her voice was muffled through the glass and metal, barely reaching your already ringing ears. Your breathing sped up,ย heartย starting to hammer.ย
The realization hit you like a punch in a gut:ย
You just got welded into a submarine. You were about to beย sendย into an Ocean of Blood, the depths thatย didn'tย evenย existedย before the Quiet Rapture. On top of that, withย Simonย of all people.ย
You felt sick.ย You never thoughtย you'llย miss your stuffy cell of all things, yet here you are.ย
โWeโll communicate via radioย on the wallย โย ifย anythingย happens, report immediately.โย ย ย
As you stood frozenย on spot,ย Simonย already managed toย settle himself on the seat. The old leather squeakedย at his weight, his hands already trailing the edges of the panel.ย ย ย
โRemember: this is bigger thanย any of us. You want to clear your name?ย Thenย don'tย fuck this up.โย withย this, theย Captainย walked away from the window. Her commandsย growingย distant as she spoke to the crew and reached her position.ย
Lightsย flicked onย aboveย you,ย the weak yellow light somehow making the submarine look evenย smaller.ย
โHold tight." You heard her voice again, this time crackingย throughย the radio's speaker.ย
The walls around you started to tremble.ย You grabbed one of the pipes to keep your balance, feeling the submarine starting to move.ย You heard the chain ring above you through the metal of the roof, soundย strangelyย similar toย the rattling of the bones.ย
As the submarineย slowly moved down to meet up with the surface of the Ocean, there was only one thought screaming in your mind:ย
A/N: I am an absolute idiot aren't I. Barely managed to finish one fanfiction, now I'm staring another one. The curse of being a Fandom Freakโข
That being said, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't wrote something for Simon. I love the movie, seen in twice in theaters when it came out, and I'm sweating in my seat, impatiently waiting for the YouTube release in my country.
Why of all places I had to be born in central Europe...
ANYWAY! I'm not planning on making this really long. Maybe up to five chapters max, give or take- we'll see how the story will evolve. Ive wrote this chapter last night, bed ridden and dying from a flu to past the time. Who would have thought Simon would have this power over me...
As always, please remember the English ISN'T my first language, and if you'll see any grammatical errors or mistakes, please let me know :))
Summary: You're most likely the last member of Eden, you've been spending your days away under the lock and key of C.O.I. One day, the Captain gave you an offer - to weld you into a submarine with a stranger, and send down into the depths of one of the newly found anomalies - the Ocean of Blood. What will you do when the stakes grow far bigger than you'd ever anticipated, and the stranger you barely know turns out to be your long forgotten best friend?
Tags: IRON LUNG SPOILERS!!! Convict!Simon x Convict!Reader, reader is also an Eden Member, Reader is gender neutral, no mentions or descriptions of Y/N, Childhood best friends, slow burn, Angst, Comfort (?), Swearing, mention of violence, Religion based trauma, trauma in general, character death, Blood (ocean), I'll add more in the future.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Word count: 3.7k
The air was thick and heavy, poolingย at the bottom of yourย lungs and making you cough.ย
Drip, drip, drip.ย
Your eyes felt heavy, but not heavy enough for fullย nightย sleep. Your back ached no matter what position you settled into on the mattress lying on the floor.ย
Drip, drip, drip.ย
This was your life. Sealed under a key and a false promise of freedomย โย most likely foreverย trapped betweenย fourย walls of your cell.ย
Drip, drip, drip.ย
The never-ending distant sound of dripping seemed like a punishment on its own.ย Like a clock ticking on a wall, disturbing the silence at night, or the buzzing of an insect just before you fall asleep.ย
So small and barely noticeable, yet able to drive you absolutely insane.ย
The only comfort you had was the memory of your homeย โย Eden. Even if calling it home was an overstatement, it was everything you knew. Everything you grew up with, everything buried deep in yourย mind likeย bodies beneath the soil.ย
โFrom soil you were born, into soil your body will turn after your death.โย
No. No,ย donโtย think about it.ย
Donโtย think about it.ย Donโtย think about it.ย Donโtย think about it.ย
Think about Eden before the Raptureย โย the starry sky spreading over the glass ceiling of the station. Think about the warmth of theย bedsheetsย that wrapped around you each night, right beforeย rest.ย
You were born in the Colonyย โย one of the first children from Mars. Even if your body and mind were human, the red planet was your true home. Even if it lacked the vast greenery of forests and the deep blues of oceans, you loved it with all your heart.ย
And yet, it was so cruelly taken awayย โย ripped from your grasp in the blink of an eye.ย
All the children born on Mars were eventually sent to Edenย โย the main and largest station of the Colony, its purposeย toย raise a new generation of great people. Unfortunately, one day you went to sleep, only to wake upย the nextย toย stars and planets already gone.ย
What have you done to deserve this? Why did your generation have to go through this catastrophe? To watchย starsย dim and disappear, planets cease to exist before your eyes.ย
You were just a child. A child who realized far too quickly that everyoneย theyย loved and cared about had vanished into the vast darkness of space.ย
Despite over ten years passing, it never got easier.ย Every glance into the universe was a step closer to madness.ย Youย couldnโtย count how many times you sat before a glass surface, staring, squinting your eyes to find any proof that it was all just a lie. And always,ย youโdย be met with the same nothingnessย โย spreading inside your gut, growing more each day.ย
Drip, drip, drip.ย
Life after the Quiet Raptureย wasnโtย easy, but itย wasnโtย unbearable either. With the planets gone, Eden became your home, and with Eden as your home, other kids became your family. All gathered in grief and fear, forced to grow up in a situation no one understood.ย
For a brief moment, it was good.ย For a brief, sweet moment, it seemed like everything was going to beย alrightโฆ until itย wasnโt.ย
People tend to changeย โย sometimes softly, like theย breeze changing its direction. Other times, like a crack in a dam, growing into a web of lines until it reaches the center and bursts, washing everything away.ย
The station, once a safe space, turned into a graveyard. The soft-spoken words turned into screams; the ideals of the Holy Soil.ย
The kind man, a teacher whom all of you adored and respected, turned into a monster. His new name was The Fatherย โย forever carved into your tongue whenever you saw his face.ย
The Brotherhood. The blood. The bodies sealed, forever hidden beneath the soil of the Last Tree.ย
Your friends became yourย Brothersย andย Sistersย โย yet somehow, they felt more distant than ever. The hissing pain of metal burning Edenโs insignia on your neck will haunt you in the quiet corners of your mind for eternity.ย
Drip, drip, drip.ย
Filament Station.ย The very reason you were hereย โย stained by a crime youย didnโtย commit. They wanted to take it over. Connect two worlds, share their beliefs, and gain more resources. Who would have thought it would end like this? With more dead bodies than ground to bury themย under,ย flames licking and devouring everything in their path, until theyย joinย the emptiness of space.ย
What an irony. Youย โย one of the few who just wanted to stop themย โย are now the onlyย oneย left to tell the story.ย
What a sad, pathetic irony.ย
Drip.ย Drip.ย Drip.ย
Your browsย furrowed. It was starting to get ridiculous. No matter how hard you tried to block it, this awful dripping always reached your thoughts,ย ripping through any image you created in your mind, dragging you back into the dark reality.ย
They took you away. They pulled you by the collar, clawing at your skin and demanding answers. You barely remember what they said; their voicesย tooย weak against the ringing in your ears. Your flesh burned and throbbed from the force of the explosion that had also shattered your life.ย
They demanded answersย โย and you had none. You asked questionsย โย and they threw you into a cell, locking you with your own demons.ย
You knew about the tension between C.O.I. and Eden. Knew that the never-ending conflict was like a match in a forest, ready to ignite.ย
Theyย didnโtย care that you were the only survivor. To them, you were an Eden memberย โย responsible for the deaths of their citizens. Never sparing a thought for yourย ownย loss, the idea of Edenโs destruction onlyย makingย them thrive.ย
Desperately trying to focus on anything other than this forsaken dripping, you thought of your family. Yourย realย family. The face of your mother whenย sheโdย caress your hair. The warm embrace of your father. The faces of fellow kids on Edenย โย the smiles of your friendsย โย before everything turned into a religious nightmare.ย
One face in particular: Simon.ย Yourย Simon.ย
In the darkest moments, you called his name for comfort. Memories ofย you bothย running around the Last Tree, playing tag withoutย a care.ย Himย standing up for you when someone was a bully. Youย patchingย up his bruises after fightsย with said bully. Warm, comforting memories of your onlyย true friend.ย
Until, of course, this was also taken from you.ย
His sweet smileย turningย into a permanent scowl. His eyesย โย brown and deep,ย with time,ย statingย toย shineย red likeย theย blood staining his hands. From a gentle, innocent boy, he had grown into someone else:ย The Butcher.ย
A man broken and shatteredย just to beย glued back together into someone you barely recognized.ย
Youย couldnโtย help but wonder. Was he alive? Or had he turned to ash in the merciless flames of Filament Stationย as well?ย
If not, where was he? Somewhere far away,ย perhaps finallyย living his life for the first time in years?ย
Did he remember you?ย
The question hung in the cloudy mess of your thoughts, even as the screech of metal doors opening drew your attention. A brief break from the constant sound of dripping.ย
Two guards enteredย โย men with badgesย of Consolidationย Ofย Ironย on their chests. The first was much older, his frown shaped by a lifeย itself, as he pulled out a pair of handcuffs. The second was younger, with soft featuresย edging onย boyishย twisted intoย restless expression, as if the idea of being in a room with an Eden member made him uneasy.ย
You knew the routine.ย
Wake up, eat, work, return to your cell, eat, sleep.ย
Wake up, eat, work, return, eat, sleep.ย
Wake up. Eat. Work. Return. Eat. Sleep.ย
This was your life for the past yearย โย andย most likely forย the rest of yourย days.ย
You stood silently, your legs trembling beneath the weight of your body. Hours curled up on the mattress had made your bones ache; dull painย beings a constant reminder of theย situation you were in.ย
You raised your hands. The older guard clipped the handcuffs onto your wrists. You were pushed out of your cell.ย
C.O.I. hadย a strong senseย of community and work. Selfishness was heavily punishedย โย every rule designed for the future of humanity.ย
Somehow, you hated them even more than Eden.ย
Even if youย werenโtย deeply committed to Edenโs beliefsย โย C.O.I. had the audacity to pretend to be something theyย werenโt. They hidย a truthย of tyranny and apathy beneath a veneer of hope and justice.ย
Everything here was controlledย โย measured to the smallest detail, even theย veryย oxygenย you were breathing in. Itย wasnโtย a well-oiled machine; it was a bunch of peopleย acting like they couldย play gods.ย
And they said Eden was crazy.ย
Yet you never dared to voice your thoughts. The shadow of your past always followed every step, and you had no right to speak here. Honestly, it was a miracle theyย hadnโtย thrown you into an airlock the moment they brought you onto the station.ย
To them, youย werenโtย a person. You were a convictย โย responsible for the explosion, a life only worth considering in terms of rebuilding what was left of humanity. An Eden freak.ย
It was easy to get used to the insults. Easy to stay silent and let them drown you in venom. The wordsย didnโtย hurt as much as the physical punches.ย
It was easy. Routineย was easy.ย Silenceย was easy. Easy meant predictable, and predictability meant safety. Safety meant survival.ย
And you would survive. No matter what.ย
You blinked in confusion as the guard pushed you forward, past the laundry room where you usually worked. But why? Your scheduleย for this week was just laundry.ย Maybe theyย needed you for some other type of work?ย
You kept walking, not risking a scene. You watched the doors of the laundry moveย further and furtherย away until your eyesย couldnโtย reach them.ย
You kept walking, your eyes fixed on each door you recognized. The kitchen door? Youย walked past them.ย The bathrooms? Youย walked past them.ย Theย Courtyard? Youย walked past them.ย
What is going on?ย
Your stomach twisted with unease. Thisย feltย wrong. The guards led you to a part of the station youย didnโtย recognizeย โย too noble and clean for a convict. Theย Headquarters.ย
Here, every citizen not under sentence spent their days outside work. Rooms comfortable and spotless, lacking the choking stench of iron and rust. You kept your eyes forward, even as the stares of others burned holes into your back. With each step, your musclesย tensed,ย limbs refusing to relax under the weight of dread.ย
Something was very,ย veryย wrong.ย
They led you to an elevator in the center of the station. When the younger guard pressed the 'up' button,ย the realization clicked into place. The blueprint of the station flashed through your mind, cold sweat coating your back.ย
Theย Captainโsย office.ย
Youโdย seen her onceย โย and that was one time too many. It was the day they brought you in. Her presence wasย noticableย from a far away,ย despite the crowdย circling around you. You caught only a glimpse of her face, but her dead eye and the scar coveringย goodย half her featuresย was something that appeared in your nightmares more than once.ย
Youย didnโtย dareย toย speak. You knew that if you did, your voice would turn into desperate pleas, begging toย come backย to your stuffy cell.ย The meeting with theย Captainย could only mean one thing:ย youโdย be put into a situation with no escape.ย
The elevator dinged softly before the doors slid open. A short corridor, with two doors on each side and a large set of doors at the end, sealed youย in your predictions.ย
Youย didnโtย even notice when you stopped beforeย them,ย your mindย tooย overwhelmed by the thought of what lurked on the other side.ย
The guard knocked. A steady โCome inโ came from inside.ย
The doors slid openย โย the mechanical whir so quiet compared to the screeching of your cell door. Before you spread a wide room in the shape of a half-circle, with a long window overlookingโฆ nothing.ย
Youย were forced to faceย not only the woman who had locked youย under a key,ย but also the darknessย youโdย tried so hard to avoid.ย
In the past, it might have been a beautiful sightย โย countless stars, suns, and planets glowing in the distance, galaxies dancing in a never-ending tangle of colors. Now, it was just pure blackness, ready to swallow everything and everyone, with noย hesitationย at all.ย
Your legs refused to move. Paralyzed by the view and nerves boiling beneath your skin, you were pushed forward by the guard, your feet barely holding their balance.ย
She sat at her deskย โย long and cluttered with papers, personal belongings, and a cup of whatever imitationย ofย coffee they still hadย left.ย
She looked up, one healthy eye and the other covered inย cataracts,ย her gaze fixated solely on you. For a moment, you wondered if she could see through your chest, watching your heart threaten to burst.ย
โSit down,โ she gestured to one of the two chairs. Your body moved on its own, so used toย obeyingย orders, even as your mind screamed to fight or flee.ย
You felt like a mouse under a catโs gazeย โย or a fly caught in a spiderโs web.ย Either way, you had the feeling she could devour you with herย gazes alone,ย theย ideaย making hair on your nape stand.ย
She made a simple gesture with her hand, and both guards stepped out. The sound of the doors closing behind them was like the final nail in the coffin. The cushions of the chair were far more comfortable than whatever joke you had for a mattress in your cell,ย aย smallย momentย ofย solituedย for your tired body. Itย didn'tย helpedย with the anxiety, though.ย
Neither ofย youย spoke. You kept your head down, eyes fixed on the lines andย dentsย of her desk, trying to memorize every scratch and mark.ย Even if you avoided her gaze, you felt that stare burning into your soul. It was as if your instincts had turned on every alert. Youย didn'tย trust her, nor did youย respectedย her, but you were fully aware she had the power to decide ifย you'llย live another day.ย
โConvict,โ her voice broke the silence, making your mind freeze. You stayed silent.ย
โDo you know why I brought you here today?โ The question lingered. All you could do was shake your head.ย
โThe C.O.I. needs hands onย deck. No matter how big or small, every pair is needed to rebuild at least a small section of whatย weโveย lost.โ Her voice was filled with conviction, as if there was no other way for humanity to come backย โย except through C.O.I.โs work and rules. Your stomach twisted in disgust.ย
โWeย canโtย let a convict join our community and bring chaos to the lives of the people. Those who commit crimesย have toย cleanย their reputationย โย in other words, find redemption.โ She stoodย up, her chair creaking at the motion.ย
โDoesnโtย matterย ifย from C.O.I. or Eden;ย everyone must serve the same sentence. Pay for what theyโve taken.โ She circled her desk, stopping at the window with her back to you.ย
โOnce they pay back, they can join the community and start a new life.ย Rightfully earning their freedom.โย
She knew exactly what she was doing, and it was working. Your mindย immediatelyย fixated on the word โfreedom.โ A concept so surreal after a year in prisonย โย almost tooย good to be true.ย
You decidedย to poke the bear. Slowly, hesitantly, you lifted your head just enough to glance at her from behind. Her dirty-blond hair was tied in a high ponytail, much healthier and cleaner than your hair had been in months.ย
โโฆ Why are you telling me this?โย yourย voice was barely above a whisper, almost unfamiliarย to your own earsย after weeks of silence.ย
The captain shifted, slowly turning to face you fully. You avoided looking at the scarred tissue on her face.ย
โYouโveย committed a crime, butย even you canย be useful. I wanted to talk to you because I have a proposition.โ Her voice was flat, emotionless, asย she returned to her seat behind the desk, her hands neatly claspedย over the surface.ย
โItโsย a simple task. One that will take some timeย โย but once you finish it,ย youโllย earn your freedom. As I said, weย canโtย let a convictsย live among us, but with you clearing your name,ย youโllย have a chance to start over.โย
You felt ashamedย atย how easily she could manipulate youย โย dangling the idea of freedom so casually,ย justย toย watch you squirm andย struggleย as you triedย reachย it.ย
It was wrong. So very wrong.ย You'veย doneย yourย part.ย Beenย doing it for over a year. More than twelve months.ย Three-hundredย seventy-four days to be exact.ย ย
Each of thoseย spent onย just waking up, eating, working, going back to your cell, eating, and going back to sleep.ย
Hadnโtย you done enough?ย
โโฆ That wasnโt the deal,โ you muttered, not sure whatย possessedย you. It was no longer justย poking the bearย โย it was sticking your head into the jaws of a beast. You were in no position to argue. One word from her, and the guards could force you onto your knees, in the most painful way imaginable.ย
Yet, all sheย gave you was a soft tilt of her head and a slow, unhurried blink.ย
โThe deal wasย and isย for you to redeem yourself. Andย letโsย be honestย โย which is better: working until the end of yourย life, orย doing one simple task and starting over?โย sheย asked.ย
Itย couldnโtย be a simple task. Simpleย would beย doing laundry every day, or rationing supplies for the other prisoners. Simple would be lying on your mattress, counting minutes until the lights came back on.ย
Whatever she was proposing, it was anything but simple.ย
Andย youโdย be a fool to think you even had a say in this.ย
The doors opened againย โย youย remainedย in place. Steps echoed behind you, two more guards, andโฆ someone else. They forcibly sat the person beside you,ย a flash of black hair in the corner of your eye for just a second.ย
The captain allowed herself a moment of silence, waiting for the guards to leave. Your shoulders tensed even more as you heard the huffing of the person next to youย โย their face so close, yet so far away youย couldnโtย make out their features. Your eyes stayed glued to the captainโs face,ย headย filled with questions.ย
Who was it? Someone you knew? Someone from other prisoners?ย
Someone from Eden?ย
The captain nodded, leaning back in her seat, her healthy eye shifting from you to the person on your side. A long breath escaped her chest.ย
โYou twoย are responsible forย the explosion at Filament Station. As a form of redemption,ย Iโmย offering you a job:ย an expedition that may, or may not, bring usย new information.โ Sheย reached intoย the depths of her desk, pulling out a small remote that activated the projector hanging above. The image appeared on the window behind her,ย the darkness outside serving as the perfect surface for the light.ย
You forced yourself to look away from her face to the image before you. It was slightly blurred, unfocused, but the scene was clearย โย a moon resting at the center of the Empty Universe.ย
โSince the Quiet Rapture,ย weโveย discovered four moons. Two of them are labeled AT-5 and Z-8,โ she pressed a button, causing the image to flickerย โย a close-up of the moonโs surface, a large red dot visible on the left side of the frame.ย
โBoth moons have shown anomaliesย โย oceans thatย seem to beย made ofย a reddishย liquid. Surface scans suggest the liquidย could beย blood or somethingย withย similarย structureโ she said.ย
She flicked the image againย โย the dot expanded into a fullย imperfectย circle, a close-up of the ocean.ย The resolution wasย poor,ย the image faded, not doing justice to the reality.ย
You realizedย you'reย clenching your fists only when painย haveย pulled you back from yourย ownย head. Nails hardly digging into your palms, leavingย half-moonsย in your flesh.ย
The Ocean of Blood.ย
Theย entireย fuckingย ocean, made purely of blood.ย
โThe two of you will be welded into a submarine and sent to explore the bottom of this ocean.ย Your task is to gather information and document anything that might be useful.ย Easy as that.โ She turned off the projector, the blood ocean gone from view. Your eyesย nowย fixatedย on the endless void outside.ย
No one spoke for a longย moment. Onlyย sound audible beingย the pounding of your own heart and the dread that returned in full force. Could they hear it too?ย
She wanted to weld youย with someย strangerย into a submarine and send you into the depths of the unknown.ย That wasย thisย simple taskย she mentioned? More like-ย
โThis isย some fuckingย bullshit,โย You heard the stranger speak,ย hisย voice deep and hoarse, as if from disuse. It made your breathing even more labored.ย ย
Youย recognizeย that voice.ย
Theย Captainย merely looked at the stranger beside you, her eyes squinting in mild disapproval.ย
โThatโsย an offer that will grant you your freedom. Take it or leave it. Either you spend your days rotting away, or you do something good for onceย in yourย lifeโ she said.ย
Itย wasnโtย an insult.ย It was a statementย โย a reflection of how little she saw in your existence.ย
โYou two will be taken toย one cellย tonight.ย Make up your mindย by tomorrow morning.โ With that, the guards stepped in, pulling you to your feetย โย your muscles too tight toย properly move.ย
As they led youย backย to the elevator, youย caught a glimpseย ofย ย theย face of the strangerย beside you.ย
Description: You and Tonowari deal with the disproving Tsahรฌk and those who call your courtship into question.
Content Warnings:ย Protective!Tonowari, awkward/shy!Tonowari, The elders don't approve of reader, arguing.
Author's note:ย This took me a hot second to write and I am still not 100% satisfied in my mind, but I think she gets the job done! The end is based on this request. Thank you to @lumilily for beta reading!!
Naโvi Words used:Paysyul - Water Lilyย
Fkio - tetrapteron, similar to birds or itsy-bitsy Ikran.
Part 1
You walked into the Tsahรฌkโs marui, unsure of how this was about to go. Your wet feet hit the woven mats that covered her floor and Ronalโs eyes slid to you, a layer of hardness and hostility over them. She was tending to the fire, prodding it with a sturdy wooden branch.
The Tsahรฌkโs back was turned, shoulder moving rhythmically as she ground up herbs. โGood morning,โ you said nervously. Rain pounded the water outside, making you have to raise your voice to be heard. It had been a deluge all morning.
No one answered. The Tsahรฌk, Kitaya, turned to you, hands pausing their movement as her eyes narrowed. Great.
โSit,โ she ground out, pointing to the middle of the room near the roaring fire she had going.
โYes, Tsahรฌk,โ you agreed, quickly sitting down.
She left her current project and walked forward to circle you. โIt has come to my attention that the Oloโeyktan has begun courting you,โ she stated, eyes calculating as they searched your face.ย
โYes, this is true,โ you said, shoulders heavy under not only her gaze, but Ronalโs, too.
โWhy was this kept from me, pupil?โ Kitaya demanded and you flinched.
โIt was not on purpose,โ you started to say, but she hissed.ย
โSecretโs are rarely kept by accident,โ she seethed. You winced as she pressed on, โHe is Oloโeyktan, a match cannot be made through love alone. His mate will be future Tsahรฌk!โ
โAm I not Tsakarem? Have I not been training for this?โ you asked, growing concerned.
โBeing a Tsakarem is not a guarantee that you will become Tsahรฌk. That is why two were chosen,โ Ronal added, finally speaking up for the first time.ย
She was right. You and Ronal were chosen for the role when you were barely old enough to walk, both coming from a respected family and having an affinity for the sea.ย
The former Oloโeyktan and current Tsahรฌk had only one child, a son who was prideful and reckless. He was not chosen for Oloโeyktan and Tonowari was chosen instead. This left the position of the next Tsahรฌk needing to be filled.ย
โThat is not what I mean. Why was I chosen and kept in training if it was not possible for me to be chosen?โ you begged for answers.
โI had thought he would have chosen Ronal. Eywa is playing tricks on me,โ Kitaya muttered to herself, throwing her hands up in the air. Your heart sank. She did not truly think you were fit for Tsakarem, much less Tsahรฌk. You and Tonowari could be separated.
Heavy footsteps sounded outside as someone approached. You heard someone stop in the doorway and Ronal and Kitaya turned to the newcomer.
โYou asked me to meet you, Tsahรฌk. What is going on?โ a voice that was unmistakably Tonowariโs came from behind your back. You did not move, just gritted your teeth as Kitaya turned flaming eyes to the Oloโeyktan.ย
โWhat are your intentions with the Tsakarem?โ she demanded, gesturing down to where you were still hunched over on your knees.ย
Even though your eyes were fixed on the woven floor, you could practically feel his gaze boring into your back.ย
You felt the shifting of Tonowariโs weight, โI-โ he started, stuttering a response before pausing and restarting.
โThe tsakarem will be my mate if she will have me, why do you berate her? She has done no wrong.โ He asked gently as if he was just curious and trying to see all sides of the story. He took steps forward to stand beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
โYou consulted no one on this,โ the Tsahรฌk hissed, although not as angrily as she had at you. He was still her superior.
You felt Tonowariโs uncertainty slowly being replaced with anger as the tension rose in the room. โYou are angry because I did not ask you,โ he said firmly, suddenly sounding every bit the mighty chief in that moment.ย
You looked up in shock as he removed his hand from you and tore into the Tsahรฌk. โShe is my choice, you cannot meddle in this. She has been training under your tutelage for many years, she holds the ocean in her heart, along with my love. She is the future Tsahรฌk, you will treat her with respect,โ Tonowari ordered with authority.ย
The marui was silent.
You looked back to catch the other two womenโs reactions. Kitaya stared back at him with her eyes wide and mouth pressed into a thin line as if she was holding back words.ย
Ronalโs mouth was slightly agape. You caught her gaze as she looked at you, looking somewhere between scared and brokenhearted.
โI respect you both, but I do not understand your decision. Ronal is the obvious choice. She follows the will of Eywa, she is a steadying force and will make a formidable partner,โ Kitaya argued, gesturing to the other young woman who looked embarrassed that her name was brought up.
โYou do not have to understand it to honor it. I am sure Ronal will be a good mate, but not for me. I have made my choice,โ he growled. Your hands felt numb and cold as they pressed against the floor, being all that kept you upright.
โI do not mean to cause so much tension in a strong partnership,โ you finally spoke and all eyes turned to you.ย
Kitaya scoffed and you felt like a complete failure. โIt is not you,โ Tonowariโs deep voice washed over you and you felt his touch again. โCome, Paysyul,โ he said gently, hooking a hand under your arm and helping you stand up.
He drew you closer, his arm coming to cradle your shoulders. โWe are not finished, Tsahรฌk,โ he said as he guided you outside and onto the path.
Rain still pelted the village and water dripped down your legs, your upper body was being partially shielded by Tonowari. You looked up at him to see his face full of conflict.
โI did not mean for this to happen,โ you started, not sure what to say.
โIt is not your fault. It is mine,โ he called, wind and rain making his voice seem weaker. He was drenched quickly as you walked you towards his marui. His hair was plastered to his face and down his back by the time you ducked inside.ย
โWe cannot have a courtship if it causes so many problems,โ you said, shaking your head as he looked at you dejectedly.ย
โDo not lose hope. Kitaya will come around. She does this every time she does not get her way. Her heart was set on Ronal, even when she had no reason for it to be. It truly is not you or your skills as Tsakarem. The fault lies with her,โ he insisted and it did ease your mind slightly.ย
โCome here,โ he said, stepping closer and opening his arms. You fell into them, your head resting on his chest as tears started leaking down your face. โDo not cry, Paysyul. Everything will be okay. I will handle it.โ he soothed, running a hand from the top of your back down to the base of your spine and then back up again.
โWe have only just begun to court and already things turn sour,โ you muttered.
โOther people are happy for us. Your parents are overjoyed,โ he reminded you and you laughed sardonically, remembering your mothers scream of joy when you told her of the kiss you had shared with Tonowari at the festival the night before.
โBut the Tsahรฌk does not approve of me. Maybe Eywa does not approve of this either.โ you whispered, too scared to say it louder.ย
Tonowari pulled you away from his chest with each hand on either of your shoulders and bent down to be eye level with you. โDo not say that,โ he demanded, maybe with more force than you had heard him speak to you before. โLet us enjoy our first days of courtship and not let others' opinions make us question this. Come take a walk with me and clear your head.โ
He held out a hand for you to take but you just stepped back. โI should go, I just need to think,โ you refused.ย
He looked momentarily hurt but was quickly distracted when a warrior tore down the paths and stopped outside of the open doorway. โMy apologies, Oloโeyktan,โ he said, panting from running, โbut you are needed on the eastern side of the village. A canoe has capsized.โ
โWas anyone hurt?โ you asked immediately before you realized you should have let Tonowari handle this.
The warrior's eyes turned to you, shaking his head slightly, โNo, Tsakarem, but their entire catch for the day was lost,โ he said and you relaxed a little. More fish could be caught.
โI will be there in a moment. Go,โ Tonowari promised, turning to you again as the warrior ran back to the accident.
โYou are okay?โ he asked, hands finding your arms.
You waved him off, โI am fine, go, they need you,โ you instructed but he hesitated.
โYou need me too,โ he said lowly
โI am fine,โ you repeated, cupping his cheek and smiling faintly. โGo.โ
He nodded, eyes searching yours for a moment and then he turned and stalked out of his marui and down the path.
-
As soon as the rain slowed, the rest of your day was spent weaving nets and helping the other young girls collect anemones and kelp for healing. It kept your mind busy and you got to do it with girls you hadn't seen much lately.
It was work you did not normally help with since you spent most days with Ronal training silently, but you enjoyed talking to friends who you usually only saw at dinner. They were warriors, divers and weavers, meaning your schedules rarely lined up.
You should have gone back to the Tsahรฌk to finish your duties, but you were not ready to face her, and you had a feeling she was not ready to face you either. When your friends prodded for details about Tonowari, you just laughed them off and pretended it was all a secret.ย
But the ever insatiable Roa kept pressing for information, โTell us, when he kissed you did you fall in love? It looked like you fell in love. Does he kiss as well as he walks?โ she giggled.
You scoffed at her ridiculous question, โI fell in love with him many years ago, and besides, I will not gossip about the Oloโeyktan,โ you chided and she sighed with a roll of her eyes.
โSo pious, our little Tsakarem. They have been teaching you to be tightlipped,โ she complained and the other girls laughed.
You talked and walked with them all the way to dinner where you always sat in a group. You collected your plates and piled them high with fresh caught fish, seaweed, and the soft insides of oysters and mollusks.
When you sat down, Roa was quick to elbow you in your side and gesture across the space to where many young warriors sat congregated. Tonowari was among them, but his eyes were fixed on you.
You smiled and waved, expecting him to acknowledge you and continue on. Your argument from this morning was still fresh in your mind.
But instead of a simple smile back, Tonowari stood. Many of the eyes traveled to him as he crossed the large structure used for community gatherings and meals and stopped before you.ย
โHello, Paysyul, may I sit?โ he asked, looking around to the other young girls who all stared open-mouthed back.ย
โYou want to sit here?โ you asked incredulously.
โYesโฆ is that a problem?โ he asked, suddenly looking much more nervous and skittish than before. He was not thinking you would question him and you felt guilty for it now.
โYou do not want to sit with the other young men? You would rather gossip with girls?โ You laughed.ย
โPerhaps, if you are one of the girls,โ he said quietly.
โNo, do not rejoin the men! Come, sit, Oloโeyktan!โ Roa chirped, scooting over and patting the now empty space beside you.
Tonowari searched your face and when he found only joy and a little awkwardness, he hesitantly sat with your group of friends.
โShe was just about to tell us the story of how you fell in love, maybe you should tell us instead!โ Roa grinned mischievously.
โWas she?โ He asked, turning to you and popping dried seaweed in his mouth.ย
You sighed, playfully rolling your eyes at everyoneโs determination to embarrass you today. โI am sure they would have gotten it out of me eventually, Oloโeyktan,โ you murmured.
โVery well.โ He nodded, and the girls all giggled and leaned forward. โI first knew I was in love with y/n when she hit me with the blunt end of her spear and knocked me into the ocean,โ he confessed and your friends all looked at you with shocked faces.ย
โWhat?!โ Tamรฌ asked, elbowing you gently.
You scoffed, โSurely that is not the moment you fell in love with me,โ you argued, ignoring your friends as they watched you go back and forth. โOut of all of our sweet moments, all of the time we have spent together, you chose that one?โ
โYes, because when I surfaced from the water, you asked if I was okay and you held my hand as you helped me out.โ He said as if it was obvious.
โAnd?โ You asked, not remembering the moment as clearly as he was.ย
โAnd you held my hand,โ he stated, fingers fiddling with his plate.
โThat is all it took for you to fall in love with me?โ you laughed.
โNo, that is when I knew, but I have always loved you,โ he said with a smug smile but genuine eyes.
-
Over the next few days, you fell into a rhythm. You would wake with the dawn and meet Ronal in the tide pools in the seawall, working quietly as you collected herbs that grew in the cyan water.ย
The Tsahรฌk rarely met with either of you, still too busy with preparing for Tonowariโs formal coronation that would conclude the festivities of the week. You also had an inkling that she was giving you the menial tasks to get you out of her sight until she collected herself, although you would never verbalize that thought.
Ronal sat back on her heels to wipe the sweat from her eyes. Both of you sat waist deep in the water, as you scrounged around for kelp and urchins.ย
โHow long is she going to punish us?โ Ronal groaned, speaking the first words in hours.
You looked up at her, but your hands did not stop moving. โWhat do you mean?โ you asked, having a feeling of what she meant, but not brave enough to vocalize it.
โShe is angry at you for catching his eye, and angry at me for not doing so,โ Ronal explained, sending you a flat look as if she saw right through you. You finally stilled, sitting back as your lips pressed into a line.
In some ways, you and Ronal were friends. You had grown up together in the Tsahรฌkโs hut and in the eastern sea. Sisters because of the salt that ran through your veins, not the blood. But she was also your rival. The two of you had been pitted against each other from the day you were both chosen to be Tsakarems. It was a constant question that lingered among the clan, who would win out? You had never truly guessed it would have been you, you had hoped, but never dared believe it.
โAnd did you intend to? Catch his eye, I mean,โ you asked against your better judgement. You wanted to know, but more than that, you needed to know.ย
Ronalโs eyes flicked back down to the water. โOf course. It was my duty, I was under orders from the Tsahรฌk to do what I could and I still failed.โ
This news did not necessarily shock you, you had a feeling she was getting lessons that you were not invited to. Still, the underlying question remained, โBut did you want him to love you? Doโฆ do you love him?โ you asked.ย
She stilled, eyes avoiding yours before she finally looked up. โNo, and in truthโฆ I have no desire to mate with anyone at the moment. I was not interested in Tonowari, just the role that being his mate would have given me,โ she confessed and you relaxed.ย
โThen it seems we were both saved from an uncomfortable lifetime of loveless misery,โ you smiled sardonically and she scoffed, shaking her head.
โYou are dramatic. It would not have been quite so bad,โ she said, rummaging through her basket to pick the smaller urchins out to make more room for nicer ones.
โMaybe for you. But for meโฆ to watch him love another, it would have torn my heart out and laid it bare on the rocks to be picked at by the fkio,โ you said, knowing it sounded grotesque, but the truth ran through each word.
She barked out a laugh at your imagery. โThen let her punish us, it is worth it if it saves you from such a cruel fate,โ she stated.ย
You glowed at the rare act of camaraderie she showed you. โYou are not truly as severe as people like to pretend you are, Ronal.โ
Her shoulders tensed as she leveled you a glare, โDo not say that. I work very hard to keep that reputation. One kind word from you and it all shatters,โ she tutted, and you saw that she was teasing.
You smiled, โmy lips are sealed. It is between us and the great mother,โ you promised.
-
The next night, the last of the festivities would occur before Tonowari was officially coronated. Although he had held the title for several weeks, the Metkayina way was to wait until after a period of mourning before the celebrations could start. They had been ongoing for days, fire lit beaches and liquor-soaked laughter becoming a regular experience this past week.
Tonowari danced with you, swinging you around in his arms as the music played song after song. Your feet grew tired and his must have as well, because he dragged you away from the others by your hand.ย
โWait,โ you muttered, knowing now was the perfect time to do what you had been waiting for all week. โCome, let me give you something.โ
It was your turn to pull as you both tripped over mangrove roots and ducked under branches to reach your cove.ย
โWhere are you going?โ Tonowariโs mother asked, splaying a hand on Tonowariโs arm as he passed her. You both paused in surprise at being stopped and you glanced at Tonowari for his response.ย
โWe will be back shortly,โ he assured her but her lips curved into a knowing smile, cutting over to you and back to him.
โMaโitan, this is your party. You would miss what has been done in your honor?โ she asked and you inwardly flinched. She was right, you were dragging him away.
You stepped forward, Tonowariโs hand still in yours. โIt is my fault. I wanted to give him my gift, but I can do so tomorrow in the light of day,โ you explained, blushing when you realized the implications of two young people in love sneaking off together. Was that what she thought you were doing?ย
โNo, no, Paysysul,โ Tonowari insisted, squeezing your hand, โWe will go tonight.โย
He turned back to his mother and placed his opposite hand on her wrist. โWe will be back,โ he repeated and slipped away from her.ย
โKeep him in line, y/n,โ she called teasingly and you nodded, slightly relieved that her tone was light.
โYes, maโam. I will try,โ you agreed with a laugh. You took one last look at her shaking her head over your shoulder before Tonowari dragged you away.ย
At the cove, you found the mesh bag near the palm exactly as you had left it. You dusted off the sand and sat down on a waist-high mangrove root, having to jump a little to sit properly.ย
He sat beside you, curiously looking at the gift in your hands.ย
โItโs not much, butโฆ I hope you like it,โ you said, suddenly feeling shy as you handed the wrapped gift to Tonowari.ย
โThank you, Paysysul. I will cherish it,โ he smiled broadly as he took the bag in his hands.
You huffed out a laugh, โYou do not even know what it is,โ you gaped.
โOf course I do, it is the chest guard,โ he insisted and took it out of the bag. He set the bag beside him as he looked at the woven gift. โIt is beautiful,โ he muttered, looking it over and running his hands on the smooth scales along the front.
โDo you like it?โ you asked tentatively.
โI love it,โ he said, looking over to you and reaching up to grasp your chin between his knuckle and thumb. โIt's perfect.โ
โThe surprise was spoiled,โ you pouted, upset that he knew what it was. He was too smart for his own good.
โI am sorry, it is my fault. I knew it was mine when you said you had something for me, but I still should have acted surprised,โ he relented.ย
โHmm, it is your fault. I do not feel so bad now,โ you teased, feeling lighter as he smiled and pulled your face in closer to his. He gave you a kiss on your lips, soft and sweet, not lingering there for long before he was already pulling away.
โI got you something, too,โ he said quietly, getting up abruptly and leaving a yawning, cold space where he once was.ย
โYou did not have to get me anything. I have not done something to be remembered or rewarded,โ you argued in surprise.ย
ย He walked through the sand, crouching to the ground and reaching under a fern.ย
โYou hid my gift under a fern! How did you know we would be here?โ You asked, barking out a laugh as his fingers grasped something and he went to pull it out.ย
โI knew because I know you, Paysyul. You have waged many wars this week, but even so, I can give gifts to the future Tsahรฌk if I wish. I am Oloโeyktan now after all.โ In his grasp was now a large, pearlescent conch shell and your heart stopped beating.ย
โTonowari,โ you started, but any words you could have said left you. He approached you, carefully holding the gift of great significance in his hands.ย
The conch shell was hard to find and rare. Metkayina legend stated that it would appear only when one has found their mate and it signaled that Eywa would bless the union. It could be used as a blowing horn, a call back to old traditions, when island dwellers would blow on the horns to call in their lovers home from the sea.ย
It was a gesture that said, when you call, I will come. But, more important than that, it was a mating gift.
โI know we are technically still early in our courtship, but in my defense, it was not new to me,โ he smiled nervously at his attempt at a joke. โI found it on a dive this morning and I knew it was time to give it to you. I have loved you for many years. I feel in my heart it is you who I want to spend my life with, if you will have me,โ he said, eyes locked on you, but his hands gripped the shell like a lifeline.
You blinked, taking the shell in your hands even as you said, โWhat? But - but should we not wait until after your coronation?โย
He lifted his brow, โWhy should we wait?โ he asked, imploring for understanding. He lifted his hands to your face, caressing your smooth skin and making your thoughts fuzzy. If his goal was to distract you, it was working.
You pressed on, โBecause, what if the festivities have gotten to you? What if you change your mind? The elders are still getting used to the idea of us together,โ you argued, thinking of the Tsahรฌk.
You could not believe this was Tonowari speaking. Your calculated, patient Tonowari who always chose his words carefully and rarely rushed into anything.
โNo, I have told you already, I choose you,โ he insisted, โI do not care what the tittering mothers or the Tsahรฌk think. They will come around. It is you that I care about.โ
โI do not think us rushing into mating will make them any less worried,โ you laughed at his logic and he shot you an exhaustive look. He stepped closer, now standing between your knees as he gripped the root on either side of you.
He pursed his lips before speaking, โIf you wish to wait, then we will. I do not wish to force you anything you do not want,โ he said subduely and you rushed to correct him.
โIt is not that, I do want to! I justโฆโ you hesitated, โI also want them to like me, and not just because you like me. I worry that I will lose your motherโs trust, and the Tsahรฌkโs,โ you admitted and his eyes softened.
โYou have not, they are just being stubborn and growing used to something new, but they will. They will come to see this for what it is, a strong bond between two who love each other,โ he explained and it did ease your mind.
โDo not torture me, say you will be mine,โ he practically begged and all your resolve crumbled to ash. All the excuses you had thought up were now silent as one of his hands crept to the back of your neck.
โMaโYawne, I will be yours. I always have been,โ you promised, smiling softly as his eyes lit up. Before he kissed you, he leveled his nose to yours, breath mingling. He leaned in, backed away and looked into your eyes.ย
โYes,โ you muttered, knowing what he was asking before he said the words. Do you love me? Are you sure?ย
โI love you, Tonowari,โ you promised.
A smile lit his face and his whole posture relaxed like a burden was lifted from him.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Qualityโ Free Actions
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
Tonowari te Tsikaโu Arvakโitan was not known among the reef people as a particularly outgoing or prideful young man.
His calm, strategic mind and kind demeanor was one of the reasons he was chosen as the next Olo'eyktan. His gentleness on the sand paired with his prowess on the water and in battle, made him the perfect candidate as leader.
With a spear in his hand, he was confident, meticulous, calculating, but in the weavers circle or a deep conversation? Useless.
He became shy, reserved. His thoughts held back from everyone.
Everyone except you.
You had become friends when you were barely teens, too young and happy to know about responsibilities or hardships. The relationship had grown from there into something pure and reliable. Tonowari was always there for you, even when the Oloโeyktan died and he was required to step forward as the new Chief.
Tonight, the period of mourning would officially end for the old Oloโeyktan and celebrations for Tonowari would begin. There would be festivals, dances, feasts, and challenging events that would last for a week. He would be showered in pomp and attention, two things he begrudgingly tolerated.
You could already see the painfilled and uncomfortable expression he wore whenever someone did something for him or treated him with more respect than he felt he earned. His lips would twist up in distaste, even as he felt grateful. He was so eager to prove himself as worthy that he did not feel that he had accomplished anything at all. You slowly smiled at the image of his face in your mind.
You sat in the sand, facing out to the ocean mentally organizing everything that still needed to be done. The wind pushed your hair into your eyes and sand crusted your lips, but you didnโt notice. You were too busy weaving a chest piece for Tonowari to commemorate his new title. You were currently finishing the designs on the front, thankful to be nearly done a few days early as the gifting would not take place until the last half of the festival.
You twisted fibers together, creating an intricate pattern to imitate the interlocking roots of the mangroves on the island. You had braided orange shells and carved bone into the back of the garment, but you were still attaching the last few adornments for the chest.
The creeping darkness of the eclipse settled over you, making you realize how fast the hours had gone. You groaned, realizing you needed to hurry if you were going to meet your mother as planned. You did not have time to worry about finishing your work now. You were late for prayer.
You packed away your supplies and stuffed the chest piece into your bag so no one would see it when you traveled back. It was going to be a surprise for Tonowari.
You hurried back to the village, bag stung over your shoulder, and you traveled over the walkways, steps bouncing across the elastic fibers. You didn't have time to stop by your marui to drop off the bag, you would have to take it with you. You broke into a run as you realized it had already started, the elders' voices rising above the distant waves.
You skidded into the village center and found your mother sitting near the middle, already her eyes were closed as she listened to the tsahรฌk. Cautiously, you side stepped tails and hands as you made your way to the front. Of course she had to sit in the least convenient part of the circle.
She sat with her legs crossed as did the other people in the space; dozens had attended todayโs prayer meeting to Eywa. You sat in the spot saved just for you, blushing and averting your gaze when others stared, apparently annoyed at your tardiness. Ronal and her mother sat nearby and you caught the young woman rolling her eyes.
Shame curdled in your gut.
She was the perfect daughter, another Tsakarem of the tsahรฌkโs like you, but she was far more dutiful and studious than you had the capacity for. You would much rather go foraging for herbs than grind them into paste. The hours of monotonous droning from the current tsahรฌk made your skin crawl.
You were wilder than Ronal, a trait most of the matriarchs of the tribe tried their best to tamp out in you, but the effort was useless. Ronal would surely be picked to be the next tsahรฌk, a righteous mate for Tonowari.
The thought made your empty stomach churn at the thought of him belonging to someone else.
You glanced up from your hands to search for the man on your mind only to find him already looking at you from where he sat directly across the circle. His mother sat on his right and his aunties on his left. His father perched next to his mother, holding hands as they watched the tsahรฌk.
Many of the matriarchs sent you disapproving glares, but Tonowariโs gaze was full of mirth. His flashed you a grin, canines showing bright white as his chest shook. He was laughing at you.
You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips to glare, but it only made him smile wider. His mother glanced over at her son, noticing his distraction and you quickly averted your gaze down, not wanting to be caught and blamed.
The tsahรฌkโs voice swelled as she lifted her arms and you realized they were starting to pray, voices merging to chant together. You slammed your eyes shut and joined in. You were a Tsakarem after all.
-
โYou are dismissed,โ the tsahรฌk said mellowly, lowering her hands to her sides as the nearly hour long prayer ended and the people started to disperse.
You winced as if you now had to face your mother. She was a spitfire of a woman, known to be abrasive and speak what was on her mind. โYou were late,โ your mother started, turning to you at the first chance she got.
โI know, Saโnu, accept my apologies,โ you begged earnestly.
โI expect you have a good reason for this? The tsahรฌk is your teacher, her student cannot be late for prayer!โ she chided you, shaking her head in disappointment.
You froze, stuttering a โI- umโ. You had no excuse and she knew that by the way her face grew stony.
โI am afraid it is my fault, matron,โ a masculine voice said as someone approached you from behind. Your eyes grew wide when you recognized the voice and your suspicions were confirmed as you turned to see Tonowari over your shoulder. He stopped next to you and respectfully faced her.
Your mother recoiled slightly, the new information cooling her down from the rampage she was surely about to begin on.
โI asked her to run an errand for me, to visit with old man Makula since it is known that he was sick. I was engaged in my duties here, so she was kind enough to ease my worries. I am sure he is well?โ Tonowari asked, turning to you to ask after his grandfather, a stubborn man who lived outside of the village and hardly liked to associate with anyone.
You nodded, catching on to what he was doing. โYes, Oloโeyktan. He is,โ you rushed to say, watching as your mothers eyes softened and she relaxed.
โI see, I suppose helping the Oloโeyktan is a good excuse, Maโite.โ She nodded and bowed her head in respect to the new leader.
โThank you for your understanding, matron,โ he said, lowering his head in response.
โI am needed at home,โ your mother excused herself, sending you one last stern glance before she slipped past the groups of young people and found her sisters and friends in the back. More like she was needed to gossip.
โThank you, Tonowari,โ you sighed in relief, turning to him. You had to crane your neck to see his face, his height towered over many in the village.
โNo reason to thank me, there have been many times when you have saved my tail,โ he admitted.
You scoffed, โhardly,โ you shook your head.
You could think of only one, when he had been a boy and enamoured entirely with the sea. He had been out past the reef for hours, losing track of time. When his parents started looking for him, you had told them he was crustacean hunting in the inland marshes and would be gone for half the day. They had believed you and when he arrived back home in a panic, you had handed him a net of small, armoured creatures and gave him instructions to stick to your story.
โCome, it is too loud here, so many eyes watching,โ he observed. Before you could reply, he grabbed the strap of your bag, tugging it off of your shoulder and putting it on his. It had happened so fast and you were caught so off guard that you did not even get to protest before he placed a hand on your back to guide you away.
โI can hold it,โ you tutted, going to grab for it, praying the opening did not gape so that he saw his coronation gift. He dodged away, not letting your hand get near your property. โDo not insult me,โ he teased, gently pushing you forward with his hand still at your back.
He respectfully took his hand away from your skin when you had escaped the communal space, his warmth there already missed. He stepped in front of you, taking the lead and you were helpless but to follow.
Your view of his broad back and black swirling tattoos was appreciated. He was a big man, wide shoulders and an imposing height, but he was never intimidating, not to you. You wondered what would be chosen to be his new tattoo to commemorate the switching of the mantle.
As he walked between the maruiโs, you realized he was taking you towards the cove you had liked to play in together as children. A spot just for you and friends. Although, as your friend group grew older, none really visited the secluded beach anymore. None except you and Tonowari.
You found him sitting out here sometimes, just watching the water, rough hands playing absentmindedly with the sand. You would join him and silently sit next to your friend as the world went on without you. It was peaceful, and you knew he enjoyed the rest. Not talking, not listening, just being.
He held back a branch that blocked the entrance to the beach and you passed him, your shoulder brushing his chest in the tight space.
โThank you,โ you muttered, skin burning like a brand where it had met his.
You shuffled across the beach, watching out of the corner of your eye as Tonowari placed your bag onto the sand. You found a good spot where you could sit with your toes just barely grazing the sea that nipped up in gentle waves.
โIt is a peaceful day on the water,โ you noted, watching a canoe row by far out in the distance but you still waved at the three figures fishing. He sat next to you, arms wrapping around his knees after he waved at the people as well.
โIt isโฆโ he said, and his response made you think today would not be one for talking.
But you were surprised as he turned to you with guarded eyes. โWhat is the real reason you were late?โ he blurted.
You stared back for a second, โI- I was busy, I lost track of time!โ you defended yourself, taken aback by the manner of his question.
โThat does not tell me where you were, paysyul,โ he pressed, calling you the nickname he had come up for you years ago.
If you did not give him an answer, then you would be suspicious, you had to come up with something. โI was making something for a friend,โ you explained, giving a half truth was better than a full lie. Tonowari could smell dishonesty like an akula smells fresh blood.
โA friendโฆโ he muttered, "Is that what was so heavy in your bag?โ He put the pieces together and you sighed, he was too smart for his own good.
โYes,โ you admitted, disappointed that the surprise was out, he would figure it out quickly. The festival in his honor was the only event big enough in the coming weeks to warrant a significant gift.
โI seeโฆโ he murmured, brows heavy over his eyes and lips tightly pressed together.
Silence fell back over the two of you when you couldn't think of anything to say. Normally, the silence was comfortable with Tonowari, but today it felt bitter. Charged like a brewing storm was approaching but you did not know from which direction.
โIs it for Talo?โ He asked, finally breaking the relative quiet.
Your head swung in his direction, โWhat?โ you asked incredulously as he dragged his eyes up to meet yours.
โThe chest piece, is it for him?โ he repeated, face unreadable as you started to laugh.
โWho said it was a chest piece?โ You asked, somewhat impressed that he had figured that much detail out.
โThat is the only item that would be a similar size and weight. There are many young men who have recently passed their iknamayaโs. You friend Talo being one of them,โ he explained his reasons.
โSkxawng,โ you muttered, shaking your head and pushing off of the sand. โSee you at dinner, Oloโeyktan,โ you added, fingers brushing over his hair in a farewell, sand now dusted his scalp.
โSo it is for him?โ he called as you collected your bag and slugged across the sand.
โNo! Jealousy does not suit you, Tonowari!โ you called over your shoulder teasing him even if you knew he was not truly jealous. You glanced back to see his forehead wrinkle in confusion. Good, better than telling him who it was for. Let him puzzle it out himself.
-
That night you approached the festivities already in full swing, dancers moved across the sand, kuruโs swinging as they twisted and turned. The aroma of cooked meats and heavy spices drifted through the air mingling with the wood smoke. Musicians sang songs of victory and peace and played reed instruments for the dancing couples.
โY/n!โ Ronal called, waving you over. You spotted her near the elders and matriarchs speaking to your mother. You steeled yourself in preparation for whatever topic they possibly had in store for you.
As you picked your way across the crowd, she called to you as if you were old friends, โWhatโs this I hear about you and Tonowari?โ
โExcuse me?โ you asked as you stopped beside her and glanced at your mother hoping she could help you understand. She just looked smugly back and your heart sank to your toes. She was meddling, you could tell.
โThat he is courting you?โ Ronal clarified, looking carefully for any reaction from you.
โWhat?โ you barked out a laugh at the thought and she relaxed. โWe are friends. He has shown no interest in me, Ronal. Do not worry,โ you gritted out the last part, knowing her interest in the Oloโeyktan.
Your motherโs eyes narrowed, โThat is not what it looked lik-โ but you cut her off, โThings are rarely what they look like, Saโnok. You taught me this,โ you said, pleading with your eyes that she let this go, at least in front of Ronal. She closed her mouth and nodded slightly, backing away begrudgingly.
Ronal waved your comment away, โI am not worried, Maโeylan. I simply was wondering,โ she insisted.
You nodded slowly, โI understand,โ you affirmed, averting your eyes so she did not pick up the terror in them.
โHas he arrived?โ your mother asked, standing on her tip toes to see as the crowd's murmurs picked up and Tonowari emerged from a marui. The people flocked to him as they admired his new tattoo.
From this distance you could barely make it out, only that his face was covered in swirls of black ink. The sight twisted your gut and took your breath away all at once.
โHe looks very handsome,โ your mother commented as Tonowari started to make the rounds. You looked to her to see her eyes already on you, giving you a knowing look as Ronal hummed in agreement.
โExcuse me, I see the tsahรฌk,โ Ronal said breathlessly, edging around the crowd to find the weathered woman who was your mentor. Her timing was impeccable, for as soon as she had given her a proper greeting, Tonowari approached them both, falling into conversation as you looked on.
โShe will steal him away from you if you do not act, Maโite,โ your mother urged.
โI will not play her games. If she wants him, and he wants her, then I will not stand between two in love,โ you resigned, watching as Ronal rested a hand on Tonowariโs forearm.
โHe does not see her as he sees you,โ she argued, but you shook it off. The way Tonowari was looking intently back at Ronal with pure dedication made it clear to you that he saw her just fine.
-
The night dragged on into dregs of the festivities it once was. The old and the young had gone to bed hours ago, but you did not want to try to sleep only to toss and turn for hours.
You wound up at your secret spot, the cove sheltering you from the rest of the village as your mind raced.
You stared up at the sky, stars winking down at you from beyond the planet, Polyphemus. The waves lapped lazily at the shore, creating a gentle hush of moving water.
A rustle of palms made your sensitive ears perk up and you glanced back to the treeline. Tonowari walked towards you through the sand, steps sure but slightly crooked.
โYou are too beautiful to be isolated,โ Tonowariโs voice broke the peace in the air as he sat in the sand next to you, โThe people should look on at your glory.โ His tone was louder than he normally talked, and he seemed to boast the words as if he wanted the world to hear them
You had put extra detail into your outfit for the festival, wearing a moonstone hair piece to pull back your hair and a beaded top your mother spent weeks crafting for your birthday. You were thankful he noticed, but also surprised.
You blushed, feeling his shoulder bump into yours, โWhat are you doing here?โ you asked him.
โLooking for you, Paysyul,โ he said, words slurring together. He was far more casual and relaxed than you were used to hearing him.
โYou found me,โ you muttered, not sure why he was being so bold tonight. Maybe it was the moonlight, or maybe he had gained confidence as Oloโeyktan, or more than likely it had been the cups of spirits you had seen friends slip to him throughout the night.
You took his chin in your hand, gently turning his face in each direction to better see it. In the light of Polyphemus, you could admire his new tattoos now that you were much closer to him.
Each half of his face was framed with black ink. His eyes were surrounded by lines and arches which made his features stand out more, making him more beautiful in your opinion. They covered his nose, making an arrow pointing down to his lips and making everything look symmetrical.
You let go of his chin and traced your fingers over the lines, pads grazing the thin skin under his eye and swooping to feel the still slightly raised and inflamed skin under the tattoos.
You noticed him going completely still, eyes watching each of your movements and making you hyperaware of the intimacy in the moment. You let go, retracting your hand and setting it in your lap instead.
โYou look handsome, Tonowari,โ you told him.
He visibly relaxed, shoulders melting as his lips curved up into a dopey smile.
โGood, I am glad you like them,โ he said, placing a hand on your knee as it was closest to his reach.
โI love them,โ you agreed. Fighting back the words that wanted to come out of you instead, I love you. His thumb dragged a pattern back and forth on your skin, muddling your mind.
He nodded, turning back to the water and watching the world pass by with you.
-
The next morning, you woke up to your mother and father talking in not so hushed whispers. A third voice joined in and made you fully retract from sleep.
The marui was covered in more shadows than you were used to seeing at this time, making you realize someone was darkening the doorstep. โWhat is it?โ you groaned, half asleep still, groggily sitting up to find Tonowari blocking the exit.
Your mouth snapped shut and your eyes flared open as he looked calmly at you and then back to your parents. โI will come back later, it is a bad time,โ he apologized.
โNo!โ your mother barked, grabbing his giant arm in her small hand and pulling him inside. โYou honor us with your visit, Oloโeyktan. My daughter is awake,โ she brushed off.
He nodded, eyes sliding back to you as you stood up awkwardly and smoothed down your hair, not sure in the slightest that it was not wild.
He looked good today, despite the fact that he should feel poorly from the drinks he had last night. His eyes were each rimmed with a thin line of red, but he was otherwise himself. His new Akula tooth mantle hung around his neck and his plain, woven chest piece sat across his front. You were surprised to see a brown braided cape around his shoulders, a ceremonial gift the elders had given him last night.
The mantle was worn at all times, but the capeโs purpose was for rituals, prayer and ceremonies. Him wearing it now was giving the impression that this was something important.
โPaysyul,โ he stepped towards you, โI bring you a gift,โ he stated stiffly. You could tell he was nervous, the twitching of his tail and the green hue to his cheeks told you as much. You had no idea why he thought giving his gift to you in front of your family was wise. This would only get your motherโs tongue wagging.
โYou do not have to give me anything,โ you insisted, eyes darting anxiously between the three other people in the room as your parents watched the exchange carefully.
โI want to, it already belongs to you,โ he assured. Over his shoulder you could see your mother visibly melt at the words.
He unfolded his hands to reveal a woven headpiece, inlaid with blue stones, cream shells and a polished gray akula tooth in the middle. You took the gift into your hands and stared at it in awe.
You could feel that it was hollowed out for lightness, the back of the tooth carved to match the curve of a head and sit comfortably, brown grass fibers woven around it to hold it securely. A fine hand made the piece that you were sure of.
โIt was a recent kill. I give you tribute with its sacrifice,โ he said, eyes searching yours for any sort of reaction. He looked as if he was seeking a certain understanding in your face.
You glanced up at him, and your eyes were drawn to the jewelry you already knew from memory. His Oloโeyktan mantle matched the headdress. A coincidence surely.
You dragged your eyes away from it with effort. โThank you Tonowari. I cannot begin to describe how beautiful it is,โ you said breathlessly. He smiled, pleased with your response. Your mother looked on proudly, but your father looked confused. You felt the same.
Tonowari continued. โWill you wear it tonight? You would honor me with a dance,โ he said, head leaning forward in anticipation for your answer.
Your breath hitched in your chest and his ears lowered at the sound. โYes,โ you muttered in a stupor. You were shocked he would ask you so formally.
When you were kids, you danced and ran around together at all of the festivals, never having to ask. He would simply take your hand in his and lead you laughing and twirling across the beach.
He blinked, and you rushed to continue, โYes I will wear itโฆ and yes, I will dance with you,โ you agreed and his face relaxed, shoulders lowering and he leaned back, as if whatever bubble the two of you were in had popped.
โI am counting the minutes,โ he smiled, teeth flashing behind his lips as he turned to your parents. โSir,โ he lowered his head to your father who responded with his own nod, your mother did not wait for her turn before she dipped into a respectful bow, โMatron,โ Tonowari added, backing up a couple steps. He turned to you, giving you a smile before he turned and left the marui.
You blew out a breath, thankful that he was not around anymore to make you so aware of the unruly state of your hair.
โThis is surely a sign of courting, Maโite!โ your mother exclaimed, gripping her mateโs arm in excitement. Your father simply looked befuddled.
โI had some idea the Oloโeyktan was interested in you, daughter, but I would have thought he would have waited until his celebrations were over before he made such a strong declaration,โ your father thought out loud and your mother rolled her eyes.
โHe is in love with her, yawnetu! Why would he wait when he already knows?โ she hissed.
Your face flushed dark green, โMother, do not speak so! He is only a friend, Ronal is the wisest choice for him,โ you claimed, not letting their words mess with your brain.
โDo not be stubborn!โ your mother ordered, forehead increasing in wrinkles as she chewed you out. โWe will hear of a proposal before the end of the week, I can promise that,โ she said, tone lilting back to excitement at the prospect.
โDo not get your hopes up, mother,โ you muttered, looking down at the gift. You knew you could not afford to get yours up. The fall would be too shattering.
-
The day passed by far too quickly.
Your time with the tsahรฌk had doubled this week as you helped her with many preparations for the celebration. Today she had you crushing herbs and organizing food and drink well into the afternoon. By the time you rushed home to finish Tonowariโs gift, you only had an hour to work on it. You tied the last stone on just as your mother rushed into the marui, arms full of various adornments and beaded items.
Your mother swept you up in hair and your outfit as soon as she passed the threshold. You were sitting down with your back facing the afternoon sun as she braided your hair in ways she would have made fun of if she saw other girls wearing them. She normally criticized anyone for thinking too highly of themselves, but today she pulled out every trick in the book.
โSaโnu,โ you sighed as she stuck pearls into your hair. โThis is too much,โ you worried.
โNothing is too much if you are to become tsahรฌk, child,โ she tutted.
Nothing would slow her down as she pressed fragrant oils into your skin and picked out a beautiful woven top that matched the blue in the gifted headdress.
When you made it to the beach, the sun was beginning to set, but people were already gathered. You stood awkwardly as your parents left you to greet their friends, abandoning you to socialize by yourself. You glanced around, seeing that many of your friends were yet to arrive, but there was one person you knew.
โTalo!โ you greeted your old friend, walking up to him as he stood next to one of the fires. He looked up and a smile broke across his face when he recognized you.
โHello friend, you look pretty tonight,โ he noted, as you stopped beside him, staring into the flames as you felt his eyes on the side of your face.
โThank you,โ you grinned bashfully. โCongratulations on passing your Iknimaya, you are a true warrior now,โ you said.
โThank you, the Oloโeyktan has been putting me on many hunts recently, I did not know I would be away from home so much.โ he laughed, but the comment made you suspicious. Your father was never away from the village for more than a few days each week on hunts. He should have plenty of time at home as well.
You opened your mouth to say precisely that but two words halted you.
โMaโ paysyul,โ Tonowariโs rich voice drew your attention away from your conversation as the Oloโeyktan stepped up to your empty side. โI have been looking for you,โ he smiled, albeit a little forced as he glanced from you to Talo.
โOloโeyktan,โ Talo greeted, lowering his head in respect and making you realize you should be doing the same. The chief ignored the other man, eyes only on you.
โTonowari,โ you said, bowing with as much grace as you could muster.
Tonowari took your forearm gently in his hand, cupping the bottom of your elbow and guiding you up, โNo need to bow to me, Yawne,โ he said, the name slipping off of his tongue so casually that you almost did not catch it.
Yawneโฆ Beloved. A name for a lover, a mate. Something you were not.
โYou are wearing my gift,โ he smiled genuinely as if he did not just tilt your world on its axis. His hands went to the headdress resting on your forehead, tracing the curve of the top as it sloped into your hair. You stood perfectly still as he inspected you, pupils dilating.
โI did not realize the Oloโeyktan was in a courtship,โ Talo said from behind you, watching the interaction with an astounded gleam in his eye. You knew he wasn't a gossip, but even he might be inclined to tell a few friends of what he witnessed tonight. Tonowari was not one to be openly affectionate or speak words he did not mean.
โYes,โ Tonowari said firmly as you let another word tumble from your mouth. โNo,โ you said at the same time. Your face whipped to Tonowari and he stared wide eyed back at you.
He had said yesโฆ he thought you were being courted by him. How had you missed this? His eyes flashed with hurt and confusion and you felt a pit in your stomach.
Tonowari gestured to Talo, โGo,โ he ordered with barely a glance in the warriorโs direction, smouldering blue eyes boring into yours. Talo scrambled away, following the chief's orders without question.
You both sat in silence for several moments, both too afraid to speak first. โYou do not accept my courtship?โ he finally asked numbly as you gaped up at him.
โI did not know you were offering it,โ you said softly, the drummers starting their beat as the singers joined in. Around you, dancers swayed and swirled in the dimming light but you barely noticed.
You could have never dared to believe that Tonowari would really set any intentions on courting you. He had always been kind to you, holding you in higher esteem than you deserved. You thought how he had been acting was merely an extension of his generosity, not a gesture of romance.
โI thought you were beginning to court Ronal,โ you admitted.
Tonowari recoiled at the mention of the woman, โRonal?โ he cried, maybe more loudly than you would have wished.
โYes! She is beautiful, a dutiful tsakarem, you look at her so fondly, how was I to assume anything different?โ you asked, purely shocked.
โBecause I am far too busy looking at you. You are the beautiful future tsahรฌk, not she,โ he said gently, reaching forward to brush your hair off of your shoulder where it tickled your neck.
โBut I am not very good at the practices of tsahรฌk,โ you argued, shaking your head, eyes pleading for him to not be cruel.
He just shook his head back, โYou follow your heart, that is all that is required, maโ Paskalin,โ he murmured, โand I must follow mine, it leads me here to you.โ
You winced at the declaration. Not because it was not returned, but because you feared it was misplaced.
โThat is lovely Tonowari, but I have to ask, what signs have you given me that you sought courtship?โ you asked, your brain lagging trying to process all of this new information.
His head drew back in surprise. โWe have spent many hours together every day for years, I call you my water lily! This very morning I brought you a gift befitting the role of tsahรฌk. It matches mine,โ he pointed out, tapping the tooth on his mantle with one of his long fingers.
โI-โ you stammered, โI did not know, you did not say!โ You gnawed at your lip as he scoffed sardonically, not looking upset at you, but still upset.
โLast night, I told you you were beautiful. That gave you no idea of my intentions? Do those sound like the words of merely a friend?โ he implored.
โYou were drunk!โ You cried, exasperated.
โI was barely affected, my lips were freed by it to tell you what I felt. I thought we had been courting for weeks,โ he muttered, eyes looking beyond you as he tried to wrap your head around the miscommunication.
โWhy did you not tell me in plain words?โ you insisted.
โI thought my intentions were clear and reciprocated. I would have never dreamed that you did not see my love for you,โ he said, sounding dejected. โIf I had any idea that your feelings were not the same, I would have-โ
โWoah!โ you cut him off, flattening a hand to his chest. โI never said that,โ you muttered, eyes avoiding him as you blushed. His scent filled your nose, salty sea spray, his favorite berries that grew on the inland, the leather from his Skimwing saddle, and the warm oils he put in his hair.
He stilled, glancing down at your hand touching his skin and holding it there firmly. You felt his strong heart beating in his chest, the rhythm growing faster under your palm.
You pursed your lips before saying, โI do love you. Your feelings are reciprocated,โ you admitted.
His brow lifted, lips breaking open to reveal a blinding smile. โTruly?โ he asked, gently cupping the side of your face. His hand was so large that it stretched from your neck into your hairline.
โTruely,โ you repeated, your smile growing to match his. He beamed at the confirmation.
โI have bad news, Yawnetu.โ he tutted and you raised your brows, not sure how much more you could handle tonight. โWe are both skxawngs,โ he laughed, eyes full of love.
You rolled your eyes, โYou are the skxawng, you could have just used your words and saved us the trouble,โ you insisted.
โOkay,โ he agreed, voice dipping low. โI am the skxawng then, I am a fool for not telling you as soon as I knew. All the time I wasted,โ he sighed.
โTime was not wasted, only stretched. Our love grew on its own two feet, it is stronger,โ you professed. โI am future tsahรฌk, so I know such things,โ you teased and he laughed.
โSee? You are already wise,โ he smiled, resting his forehead against yours and eyes fixed on your lips.
โYawne, there are people watching,โ you reminded him in a whisper, knowing he hated the attention.
โLet them stare, let them know you are finally mine,โ he asserted, pulling your face to his.
Part 2
Join my taglist here.
Asked to be tagged: @sylviavf @tootstoots @llovekats @lottiea0
โ another personalization for me was flowers. i chose to put a flower in harknessโ jacket pocket. i remember getting to winnipeg and seeing all these flowers. i think they were technically weeds, dandelions. speaking of journalism and peacekeeping in war, the flower is always the symbol for peacekeeping. i wanted to drive that home with harkness. as the flower starts to die, so does harkness. once the flower is gone, itโs his time to go. โ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Qualityโ Free Actions
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming