THIS WORLD IS MADE OF...

if i was a different person with a different personality and a different life things would be kinda different i think

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

He’s so selfish. She’s generous enough to put food on the table but he cant give her some cake? All these men do is take take take

Gordon Ramsey finds tile smeared with doodoo on kitchen nightmares

*at a therapy appointment* I mean sure, but what am I gonna do (doing a stupid voice) "heal?" *rolls my eyes and makes a jacking off motion*

Let's do the physically impossible together

Ohhh wait...I'm cute!!! :OOOO!!!! *aims my pistol at your head*

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!