@everyone my bf drew this please look
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@everyone my bf drew this please look
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they've been arguing about malgendering on twitter so here's the truth from me, the arbiter of truth (jk but ive been talking about malgendering long before it became a popular buzzword and heres my understanding of it)
malgendering is a form of transphobia wherein a transphobic person uses their victim's correct gender to harass or demean them. it is meant to be the inverse of misgendering, where a transphobe uses the victim's incorrect gender to harass or demean them.
misgendering towards trans women can be as simple as "youre a man." but malgendering is more insidious, like someone saying "you really are a girl" when she makes a mistake in order to insult her intelligence. the phrase "you really are a girl" is positive when removed from the context of the trans woman making a mistake and the transphobe's sarcastic tone that implies shes stupid in an misogynistic way.
if a trans man does something like standing up for himself against an unfair situation or asks for better accommodations/treatment, and a transphobe wants to use that to imply he is selfish and entitled, they might say "trans men really are men" which again, is a true statement on its own. but in the context of the situation, its clear the transphobe is using the stereotypical worst qualities of men to insult and undermine someone's very identity.
malgendering can be any severity of harm, just like misgendering. my mom slipping up in the first months of my transition and accidentally calling me "she", and a bigot shouting "YOURE A WOMAN YOULL NEVER BE A MAN" at me are both examples of misgendering, but one is much worse than the other and its the same with malgendering. being told "trans men are the men of the trans community" as an insult is annoying and rude but not a big deal. however, right now ICE is torturing trans men in concentration camps by forcing them to do pointless and grueling labor. and when they become exhausted, theyre told "I thought you were a man. if youre really a man this should be easy for you" these are both examples of malgendering. one is a microaggression, the other is literal torture.
malgendering happens equally to both trans men and trans women, its not something that is unique to anyone because it is a form of transphobia. the strategy is that if a transphobe tries to make a trans persons life as their true gender so miserable and unsafe, detransitioning seems like the safer and happier option. its psychological torment, moreso than the plain and obvious insult of intentional misgendering. so dont let it happen, call it out when you see it and dont be fooled by transphobes trying to erase the context and be like "what!! what i said was true!"
For my own understanding, let me try to boil down your explanation into a one sentence definition:
Malgendering is the action of maliciously burdening a trans person with the stereotypes about their true gender, with the intent of making living as said gender seem less favorable.
Does that catch what you're trying to say? Because from your post I'm not sure of the intent bit.
yes! the transphobic person may not be aware of their intent and not even know what they're doing, most of the time theyll deny that they are being tranphobic because they think theyre 'affirming" someones gender. it serves as an easy way out and often malgendering is more like a dogwhistle, only some people can hear it. but yes, that is the "purpose" of malgendering.
and you could argue "well thats just sexism. treating a trans woman like shes stupid or slutty because shes a woman is just misogyny. treating a trans man like he must be entitled or predatory because hes a man is just misandry" yes and no, because the context matters.
saying these things to a trans person with the knowledge that theyre trans has an underlying implication: "you wouldn't be bad if you weren't trans". when you tell a trans men that all men should die and you hate all men, youre telling him "you wouldnt be evil if you detransitioned. everyone would be kind to you if you were still a girl" and same with trans women: "you would be smarter and respected if you weren't a woman. I wouldnt harass you if you were still a man."
malgendering says "these are the consequences of being a man/woman, and im going to make sure you suffer them."
girl i donโt wanna see the inside of your pussy thatโs not important to me
i would like a hugโฆ. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i donโt need anything or anyone and i donโt want to talk about it.
One man enters..... Two men leave! The Mitosis Arena

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i love women
i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy
ilysm (i love you scary movies)
ilysm (i love you scary movies)

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Party Animal House from the Heidelberg Project in Detroit, Tyree Guyton, 1986
Ngghhh my boyfriend gland is throbbing and secreting clear fluid , and swoleln , and erect
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The Mississippi river and its tributaries
just hit a wasp on my bike and it started stinging the hell outta me over and over (fair) but i was going rly fast in traffic so i couldnโt DO anything i had to just keep saying โow ow ow ow ow owโ with increasing urgency until i could pull over