what i want for Christmas? them happy and safe!!
#I’m yelling u could put tina in one that says ‘dtf’ :””) a necessary addendum @pumpkino
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@dirkdirkdirkdirkdirk
what i want for Christmas? them happy and safe!!
#I’m yelling u could put tina in one that says ‘dtf’ :””) a necessary addendum @pumpkino

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broke: when they have to interrogate a suspect, Dirk is never allowed to be the bad cop because he’s too 1) friendly, 2) sweet, 3) English
woke: when they have to interrogate a suspect, Dirk is perfectly capable of being bad cop because he can play eerie and unhinged at a moment’s notice
bespoke: of the agency trio, Dirk is by far the most successful at being the bad cop because not only can he be eerie and unhinged, his settings include; “upsettingly friendly,” “exudes a heady aura of being deeply untrustworthy while smiling too much,” “most annoying person ever handed a kazoo,” “English,” and “conspiracy theorist, Beast Mode,” and he can jump back and forth between them with the agility, dexterity, and enthusiasm of a 40s swing dancer
#what are farah and todd gonna do? punch? #anxiously offer tea? #i feel like todd’s role is to sit on the edge of the table with the kind of relaxed smile that says to the suspect #‘buddy i’m happy to let him go on allll night’ #while Farah cleans her gun silently in the third chair
Dirk: im very impulsive and Im going to make that everyone else's problem
I watched the first season of Star vs. the Forces of Evil and was Inspired, so naturally I had to Dirkify it- coloured version coming soon hopefully, after a very busy weekend!
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Hobbs: sorry to have to tell ya this, but uh, I’m afraid you’re under arrest for driving a motorcycle with three people riding it
Martin: three?
Hobbs: yes, three
Martin:
Hobbs:
Martin: OH MY GOD
Martin: VOGEL FUCKING FELL OFF

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Farah: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Dirk: We attack them with hummus.
Farah: I stand corrected.
These pictures have the same aesthetic but opposite energies
pictured: neutral good and chaotic evil
I’ve always been curious as to whether baby Dirk fantasized about Moloch waking up from his coma to save everyone, or whether he was quietly jealous that he got to sleep through the worst Blackwing had to offer.
todd: when I said ‘bring me back something from the beach’ I meant like, a shell or something
dirk: [struggling to hold onto a seagull] well you didn’t bloody say that

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sometimes i remember dirk said the line “[..] the rarer, sexier coinkydinks” and this leads me to believe that hes the type of person to describe things as sexy much like we do, towards objects and things and phenomena that have nothing to do with technical sexiness, using the word instead as a surreal marker of how great things are.
“Todd, it’s marvelous, isn’t it? Absolutely sexy, if I’m being honest,” Dirk hums, nodding sagely.
Todd, only by sheer force of will and a slowly growing experience with all the weird shit Dirk says, does a fantastic job at not choking on his coffee. “What?” He says.
“Am I wrong?” Dirk gestures to the object in question.
“Dirk, it’s a ficus.”
alternately:
“You know,” Dirk tips his chair back precariously far, chewing the end of a pen. “I don’t think tax forms are very sexy at all.”
Todd pinches the bridge of his nose. “They aren’t supposed to be.”
sir that’s my emotional support bastard
Do you know how often I type “dork gently” when I’m tagging something and almost leave it like that
And Late Night Kisses Divine
Yes, I impulse wrote another chapter. No, there really will NOT be more after this- and I mean it this time! Yes, you can read the entire thing on Ao3 as well.
Enjoy <3
VERY NSFW!!! You have been warned!!!
Keep reading
Wow this is really good,,, you are a fantastic writer!!
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Wooot!! My little etsy shop is open!! At this point I’m only selling tiny knitted hats but I will add more listings soon!
Hi all! I’m only selling knitted things right now but soon I will be adding art and other creations! For now I just have tiny hats for dolls and pets ♥️

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The ROWDY 3
There are four of them?!
I’m wildly aware !
I love that scene 😍 and the rowdy 3