cannabalize

You know we can’t interrupt Dad’s time with Barry.

It’s a crime in this home.

I’m always down for games.

We’ll play after dinner while Barry and Theo are cuddling on the couch.

Oh. Ohhhh. Wouldn’t you know it, I’m actually really good at that game.

Wonderful! Want to play?

Mmm, go on.

It requires close quarters, a lot of touching, and us to be very very quiet to make sure no one comes and ruins the game.

He’s been hiding here for years.

Well I thought we could play another game while we were hiding.

Oh, are you applying for the job? Competition’s pretty fierce between you and the dust bunny over there.

He looks tough, but I think I have more experience.

So I’m guessing the noisemakers and ass-kicking boots are out, then?

Unfortunately. But it helps if you have a partner in crime.

Got any tips? Seems like you do.

Well first you have to be super sneaky and quiet.

Not usually. Quarantine’s different because there’s nowhere to go.

That just means you have to get more creative with hiding.

My dad might know where other stuff is. He keeps tabs on his man.

I’ve noticed. Are you watched closely as well?

You look like a punk which to Barry is the highest compliment.

I wonder what else of his I can get my paws on.

What fits?

I found Barry’s old leather jacket in some boxes. How do I look?

Edgy. You love to see it.

That’s so rock and roll, Jesus Christ. Shame they didn’t follow you here, it’d make quarantine a little more interesting. Anyone drive any cars into a pool?

I think it’s for the best that they all had to piss off to a hotel or something. Barry wouldn’t like them. I’m actually not quite certain where they ended up. Probably still on the tour bus. But no. No insurance claims necessary with us. None of us know how to drive.

This is definitely good praxis during a pandemic.

Oh, easy. At a show or a party. Probably with like, Charlie and all them. I do have to say, this pandemic is killing my vibe. What sort of shenanigans would you be up to on tour right now?

I’ve got to prove I’m committed.

Hope so. Pinky swear. 

I’ll say a prayer for your soul but good god was it worth it. Sorry, mom.

I’ll have a needle ready.