○♡○ Hi!! Welcome to my mutant madness!!! My love for x-men has reawakened with the new show, and its criminal how few fanfictions there is for this Fandom. So here I am! ○♡○
☆ Fic I'm the most proud of this week : Bloody halloween ☆
I absolutely love getting requests and comments! Leave as many as you'd like :)
I don't wanna make a long rule post, so I'll throw it in here.
I mainly write m/f m/gn reader inserts. I'm okay with writing headcannons and fics both nfsw and sfw, although nsfw works I need a little more time with.
For the love of god, please don't send any requests for incest, piss, scat, or anything along those lines.
Please be patient with me while I write! things may take me some time. Along with that, I might not write every request I receive, so please keep that in mind!
Major WIP: Four lives, Three deaths. | Wolverine/Fem!Reader- reincarnation fic, angst, fluff, and a bit of smit.
Blue over you | Wolverine/gn!reader -Lt. Angst, Open ended.
Come back to bed | Wolverine/GN!reader - SFW, pure fluff
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hello! I hope you are doing wonderfully, I’m a bit of a lurker and just wanted to say the Circus Freaks last part was SOOO GOOOD, I’m so happy Otto came out okay too, it was especially special to me since that series is how I discovered you if I remember right. I also just wanted to say I love your Quicksilver series… you got me hooked on Pietro and also got me to watch WATX, I’m SO SAD there’s very little stuff about non-fox movies Quicksilver 😔 but nonetheless, rereading your stuff is sustaining me. Anyways in summary your writing is amazing! You are amazing!! And I hope you have a wonderful day week month and year
AAGH. DONT MAKE ME CRY!! Tysm!!
Im really happy that you enjoyed the last part! A part of me was a little worried because I felt like it was too short, but it just felt like a very fitting end to me.
I definitely couldn't Kill Otto- that little bastard has grown on me lmao. And I wanted to make sure Kurt got to see him again!!
Nightcrawler/GN! reader - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - Part 4
GOD I'm so sorry that this has taken so long. Someone commented on my AO3 and it reminded me that this fic has literally been unfinished for two years. I wrote this all in a day and a half, so I'm sorry if there are any typos. I wanted to make sure y'all got the ending you deserved lol.
TWs: Nightmares. Aftermath of a fire. small pet death scare. Talks of fire/animal bodies. I'll add more tws if I can remember them lol. lots of fluff.
It must be a theme for the two of you. To break promises. Or maybe, It’s that it takes too long for you to make good on them.
Your hands are burning. You feel like you can’t breathe- a pressure on your chest keeping you from being able to push out the smoke in your lungs. There’s a fire on the bus. Seats burning, windows warping and folding inward from the obscene heat. You can hear something crying. Human. Animal. You weren’t sure. You couldn’t tell. The voice warps, changing from the sounds of animals- the cries of children.
When you look down at your hands, they’re on fire. When you look down at your chest, the skeleton of a child lay pressed against you, charred bones still smoking from the flames. You can’t breathe. You can’t breathe. The bus is getting smaller- the pressure on your chest getting heavier-
You startle awake with a ragged gasp as the bus hits a bump, swaying and shaking everyone inside. Malachi is in your lap, leaning against your chest as he softly snores. His sister is asleep at your side. You close your eyes for a moment, breathing deeply as you try to gather your bearings. When you feel like you’re ready, you open them again. The bus is not on fire. You are not on fire. The kids are okay. Everything’s fine.
You sigh, brushing an ashy piece of hair away from Malachi’s face as you tip your head back to rest against the seat. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to go to another museum ever again. You don’t think you want to, to be honest.
The bus is crowded. The kids are quiet. Everyone is exhausted. And honestly, in an awful way, you’re actually thankful that everyone is too tired to act out. Logan is driving the bus still, but Jean is missing, having stayed behind to finish things up. You’re not sure you could handle everyone on your own if everyone had been as energetic as they were this morning.
You look to your left, and Otto is not there.
The sight makes your stomach curl. You look away as your eyes begin to sting.
Sometimes, not knowing what has happened to someone you care about is so much worse than knowing the extent of their fate. You thought he would meet you and the kids at the bus. But he didn’t. And it’s not as if you had time to stop and look for him.
You tap the students awake when the bus rolls to a stop outside of the Mansion doors. Speaking softly to them as you make sure everyone is up and moving. You’re the last one to leave the bus, checking every seat to make sure no one is left behind before you step foot on the curb.
“ ‘you alright?” Logan asks you, arms folded as he waits for you at the doorway. You give him a small smile in return, but truthfully? You don’t know. Today had been… a lot. He doesn’t pry as you walk past him. The adrenaline has worn off. Now, you really just feel like a ghost.
Walking students to their rooms, walking to your own room, showering, changing… It’s all a blur. You’re stuck between here, there, and your memories. You don’t feel like yourself. You don’t really feel anything. The scent of smoke is stuck in your nose, and you can’t seem to shake it. All you can do is sit on your bed, looking at the scars on your hands as you try and fail to come back to your senses.
You hear a tapping on the window, and the scuffle of talons and feathers, and hardly waste a second before you whip your head around, standing so that you can open the windowsill.
But no one is there. It’s just a tree. Branches tapping against the glass. Your mind had filled in the gaps of what you had been expecting to find.
It’s only then that you break down crying.
You’re not sure how long you stay that way. But eventually, you dry your eyes. You wipe your burning face. And you get up. Because at the end of the day, what else can you do?
You should be excited to know that Kurt would be coming to see you any minute. But memories recent and old are fresh in your mind, and you can’t let them go for long enough to think of much else.
It’s dark when you finally step out of your room. The halls are quiet, and empty. You don’t know how far past curfew it is, but you’re not sure it matters. It’s not like any of the students would be up this late after a day like today, anyway. You walk the well-beaten path to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and some medicine for your pounding headache. Logan is not there. No one has been in the kitchen for a while, you can tell, and still, you find yourself double checking the knobs on the stove. You make sure each and every burner is cool to the touch, before moving on.
You know you’re being ridiculous. But through flashes of fire and memories, you’re seeing your students faces instead of the circus animals. No matter how quickly you try to shake the thought, it just keeps coming back.
You think about calling your father. You think about calling one of the others- Jean, maybe. But you don’t. Instead, you find yourself wandering out into the cool night, sitting under a large oak tree that’s far out in the yard. You look through the branches, catching a glimpse of the stars. The night air feels good against your face, but as it blows a bit harder, your skin prickles in goosebumps. You rub your arms to try and warm yourself, the motion not doing much to help. Despite the cold, you still find yourself wanting to stay out here for a little longer.
Then, the soft weight of a blanket drapes across your shoulders. When you look over, It’s Kurt. Of course it’s Kurt. Your sweet, kind, Kurt. He’s smiling softly, tail swaying gently in the wind.
“Hi.” He says.
“Hi” You respond. You try to pull the corners of your lips into a smile, but you know you’re failing. You’re just so exhausted, emotionally and physically. Kurt’s here. Right here, in front of you. And yet, it just seems a little… anticlimactic.
Kurt doesn’t say anything, but his brow pinches ever so slightly, his lips twitching just a bit. And then he sits. He crosses his legs, tail stretching out behind him as it idly sways and squirms. Like a limb that wants to touch you but can’t.
He looks at you. And you look at him. And even without words, It suddenly feels like not a day has passed between you two.
“You found me.” You mumble. You’ve used up all the tears you’ve had, and still you feel that pressure in your eyes that just feels like they could spill over at any moment.
“I did.” Kurt responds. “- and you found me.”
Your lips finally quirk up into a sad smile, before you frown, a sob quickly building in your throat.
“I did.” You whisper, voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry Kurt.” The words force themselves from your throat, voice failing at the end before you’re wracked with sobs for the second time tonight. Kurt reaches forward on instinct, pulling you into him as he holds you tight.
“I’m sorry I took so long. I’m sorry I left you there. I’m sorry I-... I’m so…” Your voice breaks with every word. Kurt shushes you gently, tucking his face into your hair.
“Shh, It’s okay love. It’s alright.” He says. You can only cry harder.
“I should have come home sooner.” He says again, whispering into your hair. “The professor told me you were here. I should have just come. I shouldn’t have left you alone like this.” He’s wrong for thinking that. You know that. You know he’s not just here on a whim- the X-men are his life, and every moment the two of you had spent apart, he was using that time to help someone else. You don’t mind. You don’t care. Even worse than the pain of him blaming himself, is the pain that comes when you realise that Kurt thinks you’ve been searching for him alone all this time. Another sob is wracked from your body when you realise that he doesn't know Otto had been with you. The pain only grows when you realise that he may not get to see your feathered friend again, and you might not either.
Gaining someone back should not mean that you had to lose another. And you don’t even have the luxury of knowing that for sure.
Kurt doesn’t let go of you once the sobs settle and the tears dry. You don’t let go of him, either.
“We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” You whisper, after a long moment. Kurt chuckles into your hair.
“Ja. We do.” He agrees. He lets go of you, and you wipe the tears from your face. Kurt takes your hands when you finish, flipping them over so that he can see your palms. His thumbs run over the rough skin gently, too cautious to put much pressure on them.
“Are these from…?” He asks quietly. You don’t want to tell him. After the fire, you had learned from Jimaine what had truly happened that night. You know it was an accident. You can only imagine the guilt he feels, even now. You don’t respond, instead choosing to flip your palms back over, taking one of Kurt’s hands in your own, tracing his knuckles in an idle motion. That’s all the answer that Kurt needs. You can see his face twist in the corner of your eye, but you don’t have the heart to look up at him.
So. You talk.
You talk about where you’ve been. Where he’s been. You talk about Bubbles, and you tell him about Nyla. How you begged your father to ask Ringmaster Getmann to give all of the animals a proper burial, and how the man had refused when he did. All he saw was the financial disaster it was already- and the cost of “replacing” all of his live attractions. You tell Kurt how you had stolen what was left of her body, and buried it.
You regret telling him about it immediately after doing so. The heartbreak in him is so evident that you begin to wish you had never opened your mouth to speak in the first place.
He tells you about his church, and how he came upon the X-men. How he had thought about looking for you so often, but he was so scared that you would hate him that he chose not to. He regrets it, more than anything. His hands shake as he speaks.
You talk until the early morning hours. And then he walks you to your room.
You’ve lived so long without him, and now that you have him back, you’re not sure you can let him go. But there’s a bleeding worry in your heart that he might not feel the same
It’s two weeks later when the others begin to pry. You’re clustered together in the library with Jean and Ororo, shuffling through midterm papers as you help them grade. It’s a quiet evening, the three of you making quiet conversation through sips of coffee when Jean speaks up about it.
“Soo. Have you talked to him yet?” She asks. You almost choke on your coffee. Ororo doesn’t even look up, only smiling as she continues on. Jean on the other hand, is entirely too giddy, smiling ear to ear as she eagerly waits for a response.
“I- yes? Of course we’ve talked.” You say after putting your cup down, careful not to spill any on some poor student’s paper.
“No, I mean have the two of you talked?” Jean repeats, and your small hope that she was not asking you about what you thought she was asking about is squashed. Ororo looks up then, leaning against her hand on the table as she softly laughs.
“Leave them alone, Jean.” She chides “It’s not exactly an easy conversation to have after so many years.” You bite your lip as you finish, and suddenly it’s like the dam opens, and it all comes out.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” You let out suddenly, like a weight off of your chest. Jean smiles wider, Ororo looks at you only mildly surprised, and you’re sinking down in your seat, doing your best not to look anyone in the eye.
How often is it that a grown adult can still manage to have a crush after all these years? God, is it embarrassing.
“I want to. Talk to him , I mean. I just can’t.” You say, thumb tracing the rim of your coffee cup.
“And why not?” Ororo asks gently. Jean’s giddiness has fallen just a little, and you almost feel like it’s worse that both of their attention is on you in the silence of the empty library.
“I… I thought it would be different. When I saw him again. But I never thought about what that would mean.” You admit, softly. “What’s worse is that it’s not different. He’s still the same Kurt that I knew. But I’m no where near the person I was.” You feel a sense of Deja vu as you speak, and inwardly you know that if Logan could hear this he’d call you stupid. But Ororo and Jean don’t. They share a look, the sweet and giddy nature of the conversation turning into concern.
“Besides. I… definitely still have feelings for him. But it’s been a long time. It would be selfish of me to assume he felt the same.” Your words start to trail off into a mumble, but that doesn’t stop them from being able to hear you. Jean sets a hand on your shoulder. And she gives you a confident smile when you look up at her.
“Have you asked him about it?” Jean asks, but you know she knows the answer, so you raise an eyebrow at her. She can’t help but let out a small laugh as the thought crosses your mind.
“Just talk to him. You can’t keep letting yourself suffer based on a what-if.” She says. You try to take the words to heart, but doubt is hard to shake.
“You might as well go ahead and give in.” Ororo says, smirking in her seat. “This one is like a bulldog. It’s unlikely that she’ll let go of this until you do.” She finishes. Jean lets out a faux offended scoff, holding her hand over her heart. The action makes you giggle.
You decide then and there, you shouldn’t wait any longer. But that’s easier said than done. Especially when you’re missing a familiar weight on your shoulder, his unwarranted advice was annoying, but at the end of the day, Otto has always been a source of comfort.
Where are you, Otto? You think. Heart breaking more and more every day you go without him.
You think about talking to Kurt every time you see him, but another week goes by, and then another, and you just can’t. You build up all of this courage, only to chicken out when he looks at you with that charming smile, and kind eyes. You love him. You’ve never stopped. And you want to tell him that more than anything in the world.
And then the day finally comes that you do.
You’ve eaten, you’ve showered. You’ve even prayed a little, and you decide that you can handle any outcome that may happen. And this time, when you see Kurt, you don’t let yourself fall victim to your anxiety.
“Guten morgan.” Kurt greets you when you walk up to him in the courtyard. His tail curls around your wrist contentedly, to keep you from leaving or to simply say hello, you weren’t sure. Regardless, you weren’t going anywhere.
“Good morning.” You respond, playfully leaning up against his side. The breeze is cool this morning. The courtyard is lively, with the playful noise of students enjoying the day. You still find that even small moments like these can feel secluded as long as you’re with him.
“Can we talk?” You ask him, quietly. His brow furrows, concern showing through.
“Is there something wrong, Schatz?” He asks. You shake your head in response, ignoring the knot in your stomach that still refuses to go away. You were going to talk to him now, or you were going to talk to him never. Both of you deserve clarity.
“No, nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to tell you I-”
Someone screams in the courtyard. And then someone else. And soon, you and Kurt quickly snap your attention over to a group of young students in a crowd, screaming and crying over something on the ground.
You don’t take a step before Kurt teleports the both of you over to the crowd. And you fight your disorientation as you rush to their aid.
“What? What is it?” You ask urgently, and like a switch, the kids run to you, clinging to your clothes.
“Otto! It’s Otto!”
“We killed him!”
“He killed Otto!”
Each and every on of the crowded students are inconsolable, crying and sobbing with red faces and snotty noses as they speak over each other and wail. Through their tears, you hear Otto’s name and can’t let it go.
“That can’t possibly be…” You hear Kurt say in shock, his path blocked my his own wailing students. You follow his gaze to the base of a tree, where the small body of a black crow lay motionless, wings tucked tightly against him.
Your heart falls. You do your best to shake free of the crying kids, feet unable to keep up with you as your knees hit the ground in front of the crow.
It is Otto. You hear Kurt say something to guide the kids away through the ringing in your ears as you pick up the crow.
“Otto?” You call out to him. He’s limp when you pick him up, unresponsive. You call out his name again, ruffling his feathers as your rub his sternum, trying desperately to wake him up. You can’t tell if he’s warm or not. Can’t feel him with your hands. It can’t be. This can’t be real- can’t be happening.
Then, as your tears begin to fall, He blinks an eye open, just halfway.
Do you think that worked? He asks. You stall. Sadness turning into shock as he opens both eyes, cocking his head at your tears. Oh, Maybe it worked too well. He finishes.
“You… You stupid bird!” You cry out in aggravation, still managing to find a way to laugh at him through the absolute rage that has taken over your body. Ottos lifts himself from your hands hopping down onto the ground and stretching his wings when he get’s there.
That will teach them to poke at me while I’m down. I’ve been gone for a year, you know! I can’t believe that this is how they’d treat me! You roll your eyes, still wet with tears. It hasn’t been a year. It’s barely been a month. But you don’t have it in you to argue with him. He’s a little dirty, and a little gross, but he’s your Otto, and he’s alive.
He squawks and complains when you scoop him up in your arms, rubbing your face against him as you try to stop crying over this asshole of a bird.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” You cry out. Otto only groans and complains.
Okay okay, I get it! That’s enough! Lemme go!! He says, wriggling out of your hold. You hear a chuckle from behind you, and all of a sudden Otto freezes. You know it’s Kurt, but you’ve already had your reunion with him, Otto, however, had not.
Otto is quick to leave you in the dust, flying over to Kurt with the most drawn out, pitiful whine you’ve ever heard from him.
“Mein kleiner Freund! I thought you were lost in the fire!” Kurt says when Otto lands on him, doing his best to pet the crow while Otto squirms and preens and pecks at Kurt, only relaxing when Kurt manages to find the perfect spot to scritch.
Ahh, to receive the love I so deserve! Otto cheers, ever the spoiled brat. You roll your eyes at him, unable to even be mad at him for interrupting the morning.
However, the still-sobbing group of kids that you’ll have to handle in a moment- that you’ll gladly hold a grudge about.
You’ll tell him next time. But that’s what you say every time, isn’t it?
That afternoon, you’re sitting by the TV after dinner. It’s movie night for the school. You’d much rather prefer a outdoor projection, but it had started to rain, and you’d be lying if you said the slightly cramped indoor setup wasn’t rather cozy. The couch has been pushed back to make more room on the floor, and the students had taken their picnic blankets and laid them out to rest on. Yourself and the rest of the adults took the couch in the back of the room to keep an eye on everyone.
You saved a seat for Kurt, cozying up with a blanket as you wait for him to join you. It’s not quite time for the movie to start yet, and everyone was still gradually filling in. Otto is somewhere in the front, enjoying all the extra pets and attention he’s been getting from students that were thankful for his return. Jean and Scott had already settled down, and Ororo did too. Morph comes in, and then Logan. Hank, Rogue, Remy… but not Kurt. A hole opens in your chest with each person that sits down. Eventually, they turn the lights off, and put the movie on, and Kurt is still missing. You try not to let it disappoint you. You’re not entitled to his time- but it didn’t stop you from craving it.
The movie is about 20 minutes in before a shadow catches the corner of your eye. The door into the hall is cracked just a little, letting a sliver of light in. The shadow shifts and snakes, and you know it’s Kurt’s tail. He’s lingering outside the door, you can tell. You just don’t know why.
You apologise quietly to the others, tiptoeing around blankets and bowls of popcorn as you try not to block the tv as you leave the room. When you touch the doorknob and pull it open, Kurt is on the other side, hand raised as if he was about to enter. He looks surprised for a man who your sure was just pacing outside the door, and he smiles at you nervously.
“I was looking for you.” He says. You smile back, but you’re a little confused, even a little worried.
“You knew where I was?” You mention. He doesn't disagree, and you can see on his face that he needs to talk. You close the door behind you softly, making sure it clicks in place before you step away from it.
“Come with me?” Kurt asks you, holding out his hand. You don’t even have to think before taking it, and you feel like you see him relax a little at that. He pulls you a little closer, and then in a second, you’re somewhere else.
The room is dark, with sparse furniture and a telescope in the middle, pointed upwards at the glass roof. The sky is pitch black, covered by dark clouds as raindrops fall and streak across the domed glass. Kurt’s taken you to the observatory.
“I thought that this would be the best place for us to speak. Privately.” Kurt says, softly. The words make anxiety twist in your gut, and you find yourself missing when he’d cause butterflies with his words instead. The price of growing older, you guess. There’s less butterflies when there's so much to lose. He’s right, though. There’s no use in an observatory when you can’t see the stars.
“Right.” You say. “-Right. I’ve been meaning to-”
“I have to go soon.” Kurt’s words drop like a bomb, thunder rumbling ominously overhead as he speaks. He’s frowning, tail almost tucked between his legs as his gaze shifts, unable to look you in the eye.
“I shouldn’t be gone for very long but…” He trails off.
“That’s what we thought last time, too.” You speak for him. He looks up at you then, gaze meeting your own.
“...Yes.” Kurt hums.
This is your moment then. You need to tell him. But with him leaving soon, would that just make it worse? For him, and for you? What if he shrugs you off, or gets mad? What would you do then? Separated from him with no way of knowing the extent of how he feels. But then again, you of all people know that if there was one fact of life, it was that everything can change with a moment's notice.
But then you look at him again. At how worried he looks. At how bad he feels for having to leave you again so soon. You can’t tell him now. You just.. cant.
“There’s one more thing, too, Schatz." Kurt speaks after a moment, bringing your focus back on him. It’s then that he leans forward, his tail wrapping around your waist as he kisses you suddenly.
You don’t even think you realise it at first, shocked- and surprised. But it doesn't take long for you to get it together, pulling his face back towards your own when he pulls back to take a breath. You kiss him like you’ve never kissed anyone. Years of longing, worry, and fear all wrapped up into one small action that feels like two universes colliding into one. And now that he’s done it, you wonder why you two had taken too long in the first place.
When you pull away, you’re breathless, feeling like he’s kissed the soul out of you. He doesn't look much better, looking almost flustered with his face framed by your hands. He swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing as he leans forward, resting his forehead against your own.
“I love you.” You blurt out. The words taking the both of you by surprise. You glance away from him, feeling extra shy under his gaze.
“That’s what I was trying to tell you this morning.” You finish. Kurt smiles in a blinding way, an overwhelming look of joy on his face.
“I love you too.” Kurt says, and your heart flutters. God, why did you ever wait this long? He kisses you again, holding you as tight as he can. It feels so right.
And in the morning, maybe he would leave. But you knew he would come back. And if he didn’t, you’d just have to go out and find him again. Just like you had done before.
You’re not sure anything could truly separate the two of you now.
Nightcrawler/GN! reader - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - Part 4
WAZAAAAP. I missed you guys!! I'm not entirely happy with this chapter bc I feel like the ending is a little fast, but once again the word count was getting a little too long and I felt I might need to seperate it again. I put it to a vote, and although it was hella neck and neck unlike any vote i've done before lmao, Splitting chapter 3 was the option that won. Next chapter will be all about Kurt and reader learning about each other all over again
TWs: Fire, Smoke, museums. Cliffhanger, Very slight comfort. Depictions of nightmares and burning animals, not a lot of kurt in this one bc the buildup is too good not to milk my bad guys.
The drive from the airport is long, rainy, and sleepy. The cab is cramped and smells a little strange, but the driver is polite enough and happy to accept your cash. Your stomach is turning in knots with every twist and turn down the long, wooded road, and through the gaps in the trees, you can see a tall roof in the distance. The gate to the long driveway is open, which eases a bit of your nervousness. The shadow of a bird flies overhead as the cab begins to slow, and you can only hope you’re right about all of this when the impressive front door comes into view.
The cab drops you off without much care, speeding away just about the second you get both feet and your suitcase on the ground. Must not be a fan of the area, you guess. You open your umbrella as fast as you can, trying not to chew on the inside of your cheeks while staring at that door. It’s a wonder how something with such cutesy spring wreaths can feel so intimidating.
Just knock already! The crow (now named Otto, through no choice of your own), caws, landing on your shoulder. You’re not surprised at his entrance, a bit comforted by the familiar weight on your shoulder if anything. You make a face at him, before taking a deep breath. You straighten your spine a little before walking to the door.
For a school of such renown, the yard is pretty… empty. There’s not a soul outside, but you are here at 10 am on a Monday in the pouring rain, so… Regardless, school must be in, right? You assume it would be, but the exaggerated amount of time you spend waiting at the door begins to make you question yourself again.
Your breath catches a little when you hear the deadbolt unlock, trying to look polite as the door opens just a crack and a scruffy man stands in the doorway, holding the door so that his shoulder blocks out any sort of entrance. He has a rather sour look on his face, eyes barely flicking towards Otto before landing back on you, looking you up and down in a way that’s entirely too intimidating.
“Hi. I’m looking for the Xavier’s school?” You say sweetly. He doesn't say anything and abruptly shuts the door in your face.
Wow, that guy’s got an attitude problem.
That was an understatement, you think. You take another breath to shake it off, and knock again. This time, it opens back up before you finish knocking. The same man stands before you.
“What do you want?” He grumbles, curtly.
“I-I was hoping to speak to Charles Xavier. I understand that you must be very busy people but-” You don’t even get to finish your sentence this time before you feel the whoosh of air as the door closes again. You make a face at that, trying to keep composure while you try to decide if you’re feeling pissed or just disappointed. All this build-up to get here, just for a door in your face. Otto lets out an offended huff, and you feel the weight on your shoulder shift as he hops off. With a few flaps of his wings, he grabs hold of the doorframe, twisting so that he himself can incessantly rap at the door.
The door opens again, and the man looks angrier this time. Otto swings upside down from the frame like a bat, cawing at him in a taunting manner. The man begins to open his mouth to yell at you about god knows what, when he’s interrupted.
“Logan?” He sighs as a voice calls out from behind him, and you give him a curious look as he rolls his eyes. “Open the door. Don’t make those poor souls wait in the rain any longer.” The man, Logan, you’re assuming, takes a step away from the door as he opens it wide, making room for a man with a bright smile and a wheelchair to stroll to the doorway. Otto hops down from the doorframe, landing back on your shoulder while giving Logan a smug look you’re choosing to ignore. You recognize the face of the man in the wheelchair from many different magazines and news stories, but seeing him in person still lights a spark of hope in your heart.
“Good morning,” You start. “You must be Professor Xavier. My name is-”
“I know who you are, my dear.” He says, hardly even stopping to think. “There’s no need to worry. Come, Welcome to Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters.” He makes way for you to step inside, and his warmth makes you smile and relax a bit. You do your best not to be a rude guest, shaking your umbrella out and wiping your feet before stepping through the doorway. You pass by Logan as you do so, holding the door open and still looking a bit sourly at Otto on your shoulder. Once the door is closed, Otto promptly shakes the rain off of his own feathers just as you set your umbrella in the holder, causing both you and Logan to grunt unhappily and Charles to chuckle.
The inside of the school is the exact opposite of the courtyard. It’s bustling with life, people of all kinds running out and about, some with books or otherwise. They chatter comfortably, some waving to the professor as they pass. Every one of them is a mutant and its… amazing. You can’t help but stop and stare in wonder at everyone living so freely and without fear. The exact opposite of how you had been feeling all these years. It takes the brush of Logan’s shoulder against your own for you to realize that the professor has started moving again, and you hurry to catch up.
“I suppose if you know who I am, you might know why I’m here?” You begin once you do, letting that treasonous little spark of hope burn a little brighter. You know there’s no guarantee he’s here, nothing but a headline and a torn newspaper article about the X-men as your tip. Otto had brought it to you, having found it god knows where. You had been looking for years at this point, only running on word of mouth, beak, and muzzle. But this? This had a photo. One stained and wet and with runny ink- but you felt that you could recognize that figure anywhere. Charles chuckles at the thought.
“I do.” He hums, “Kurt’s going to be delighted to see you.” He finishes. You feel your heart jump at the words. You reach his office, and he rolls behind his desk, inviting you to sit down.
“So he’s- is he?-” You trail off, and the professor’s face turns rather sympathetic. Logan is standing in the doorway, and Xavier nods him on, not that you really remembered that he was there anyway. Your heart begins to sink, falling straight into your stomach as the door clicks shut, Logan closing it behind him on his way out.
“Not quite. Not yet.” Xavier says. Otto scoffs on your shoulder, hopping over to perch on the other chair while he grumbles something you can't really hear. You try to calm your nerves, doing your best to stay optimistic.
“But he will be, won’t he?” You ask, voice cracking a little. Xavier smiles again, beginning to gather some files on his desk.
“He’s become a valuable and irreplaceable member of my X-men, and as such, I had tasked him and a few others with something rather urgent a short time ago. I apologize for that, if I had known you were coming I would have kept him here instead.” All these years of looking for him, and you missed him by what, a week? It’s disappointing, but… You still found him. All that’s left is to finally see him again. The thought of it surfaces with a new kind of anxiety.
“How long will he be away?” You ask. The professor shakes his head, reaching for something in the filing cabinet by his desk.
“I wish I had a better answer to give you. I know many things, but it’s hard to know just how long they will be gone. It could take weeks for him to return to us.” His words make you frown. You feel conflicted, and you quickly realize that it probably should have been a good idea to have made a better backup plan before you actually got on that first plane. You taste that bitter feeling of disappointment again as the professor turns around, facing you with a small manilla packet with a number on it. When he hands it to you, you realize it contains a room key. You look up at him in confusion, and he gives you a reassuring smile.
“You’re welcome to stay at the school for as long as you’d like while awaiting his return, if you are comfortable of course.” You furrow your brow, opening your mouth to speak- “-and no, I promise you won’t be inconveniencing anyone at all.” He finishes. You relax a little, smiling softly back at him.
“...Thank you. I would appreciate that greatly.” Otto begins to caw again, rather peeved at the lack of attention he was receiving. As if he could understand Otto even better than you, Xavier is quick to speak up again.
“Why don’t we start with getting the two of you something to eat? I know your journey must have been very tiresome.”
Oh, did he have any idea.
In the weeks that go by while you stay at the mansion, you try to make yourself useful. You're certainly no certified teacher, but when the professor asks you to help out with a few classes, who are you to say no? In time, this place that seemed so unusual and yet welcoming was just another factor of life. Kids are comfortable in their own skin, unafraid of being discriminated against, being taught by other mutants just like themselves. Being taught by you, sometimes. It felt good. And yet, there's still a part of you that hears Stephan's words ringing in your head, no matter how hard you try to shake it.
You make friends while you're here. Many of which come and go as members of the X-men, and yet every time the Blackbird lands, the one person you want to see is absent. Jean is the first one you become close with. She’s kind, and you find that the two of you have similar taste in books. The first time you met, she recognized you before you could even introduce yourself.
“You're Kurt's friend?” She had asked, and although you felt a little strange with the title, you very quickly became known as Kurt’s Friend with the other X-men as well. Sure, they weren't wrong, but you were a bit more than friends, weren't you? You felt like you were. All this time making friends with the others, having movie nights and going out together with Jean, Ororo, and Rogue… It should have made you feel like you were settling in- and sure, it had. But the longer you stay here, the more anxious you become.
Every time you look in the mirror, you remember just how different you are now. You were barely 17 the last time you saw Kurt, and it's been many years since then. You've changed. He's changed no doubt. What did he look like now? Did he still think of you? Does he remember your promise, and is he mad at you for taking so long to find him? Surely, he wouldn’t be, right? You've heard from the others that he had bounced around a few places before landing here, so it's not like he made himself easy to find. These anxious thoughts overwhelmed you, and the past still followed you like a dark cloud.
You feel like you’re burning up when your eyes flick open. Your bed is warm and the sheets are sweaty, your heart still pounding with fear as you shake off the nightmare. Otto is gone, the window cracked open from his nightly escapades, but you know he'll return in the early hours of the morning. Your hands are burning painfully again, and when you turn on your bedside lamp, you can't help but stare at the scars on your hands. You haven’t had full feeling in them since the fire, and yet that phantom pain, just like the nightmares, refuses to leave you.
You dream about that night often. You dream about the bodies. The smell of charred flesh and fur. You dream about Nyla, speaking to you in that wise way of hers as she burns and melts into the vision of her corpse you have never been able to shake. You used to run out to the stables on nights like this, fresh after the incident. Your dad had bought Bubbles at auction after she was deemed unfit to perform, so you would talk to her until you had calmed. Nowadays, you'd call your dad and ask him to check on her. Tell her you loved her and missed her. But tonight, you simply venture into the kitchen instead.
You don't bother turning the lights on, having walked the path from the cup cabinets and to the water filter a few too many times before. It's not the first time you've been up this late at night, and it's far from the last. You still feel hot and overwhelmed, choosing one particular seat at the island that just happens to be under the air vent. The cool air brushes against your skin in a welcome prickle, and you quietly take in the feeling.
The lamp in the corner turns on in a flash, and you jump violently in surprise. Logan is standing there with a hand on the string, cocking an eyebrow at you. You sigh, hand over your heart as the rapid beating begins to slow only slightly.
“You scared me.” You whisper, hardly having enough energy to do anything but rub your eyes and take a deep breath. You hear Logan hum in response as he leaves the lamp and strolls behind the counter, opening the fridge and beginning to look through it.
“Third time this week.” He says, but you don’t really understand him.
“What?” You ask, but he doesn't respond. Instead, he pulls out a soda from the back of the fridge and offers one to you. You shake your head at him, and he shrugs. The soda can clicks as he cracks it open, sitting across the island from you.
“Third time this week you’ve been up this late.” He clarifies, after taking a long sip. You let out a small “oh” in response, frowning as you look down at your water. The two of you sit in silence for a while, before Logan speaks up.
“...They getting worse again?” He asks. You bite your lip, not really knowing how to respond. You don’t really know what to think about the fact that you’ve been here long enough for Logan to establish your sleep patterns well enough to know you’ve had nightmares this often. You know he’s probably aware that you’ve had far more nightmares this week just by your scent in the mornings, but you’re thankful that he doesn’t say anything.
“...Yeah.” Is all you can muster at the moment. Logan takes another sip, and you’re once again grateful at the fact that he doesn’t look like he pities you for it. Hell, with the bare minimum you knew about him, you were sure he probably related to the restless nights. It’s quiet between you for a time, the two of you sharing the silence almost comfortingly if it weren't for the heavy topic. He doesn’t pry about your dreams, and you don’t ask about his own.
“Do you think he’ll like me, when I see him again?” You whisper eventually. Logan looks at you, and he doesn’t have to ask who you’re talking about. After all, who else would it be?
“Do you think he won’t?” Logan returns. You press your lips into a line, thinking.
“I don’t know.” Logan scoffs at that, and you give him a look that he rolls his eyes at. “I haven’t seen him since we were kids, Logan. I don’t know what to expect.”
“Exactly. You haven’t seen him in years- but you’re here. Aren’t you? And we already knew who you were when you showed up. Isn’t that enough to prove to you he still cares?” Logan’s tone is blunt, and you wish you could agree with him, but you don’t. You stare down at your palms again, and if Logan notices, he doesn't say anything.
It’s been two months since you’ve been at the school. You help out here and there, fill in for the others when they need a substitute, and do anything that makes you feel less like a freeloader, really. No one can say for sure where Kurt is, and you get the feeling that the others cannot really talk about it. As long as he was safe, that’s all that matters. Not that you really knew if he was or not.
There’s a field trip today. Ororo, Rouge, and Scott are absent on X-men duties, so you volunteer as a chaperone so that Jean and Logan aren’t overrun by the students. The morning starts early. You load kids onto the bus, hand out some mini-muffins for breakfast, and Jean finishes the role call while waiting for Logan. The bus is a little older and the seats are rather cramped, but the air is electric with the kid’s excitement despite the early hour. Otto is by your side as always, choosing to ride with you for once instead of flying overhead. The kids are smothering him with attention and feeding him muffin crumbs, and he lavishes in it. Logan rolls his eyes at the bird when he finally gets on, and the students cheer as the bus begins to move. You were sure many of them hadn’t been to a natural history museum before, and you hadn’t either. Their excitement was contagious, and you quickly find yourself looking forward to the day ahead
That energy from the morning is a distant memory when the fire alarm in the museum begins to go off. Walls have crumbled, the building is smoking, and the footsteps of sentinels are loud as they wreck everything in sight. You keep your kids close, constantly counting heads as you try to lead them to safety. But the smoke is thick, and your palms are once again burning as you try to shake your past while braving the present.
The students had been separated into three groups earlier that day, one for each of the chaperones, and you all had different schedules for the museum while agreeing to meet up at the pavilion for lunch at a specific time. It had started as such a good day. But good things never last, do they? Not for you, they didn't.
Some of your students are crying, others coughing from the smoke, and the older ones are simply tired. It’s hard to see where you’re going, the smoke mixed with the dim and dark museum lights a bad combination. You can still hear the distant footsteps of the two large sentinels that interrupted the day, and every once in a while, the bone-chilling sound of their blasts. The hallways are empty as you try to find the emergency exit, most of the other guests taking the chance to bolt out the most obvious ones-or hell, the holes in the walls that had been blasted open by the sentinels as they wrecked the place. But you weren’t any other guests, you were mutants, and that meant getting out of danger by taking the least obvious exit possible.
You don’t know where the fire is, but you know it’s raging within the building. You needed to get these kids out, and soon- but as you continue to follow each and every glowing sign pointing to the exit, the smoke only gets thicker. The building begins to shake again, and some of the students cry a little louder. You’re counting heads again when everything stops, and a sharp caw meets your ears. Otto swoops in, a shadow in the dark hallway as he lands nearby, chest heaving. The sight of him only makes you panic more. He knows he can’t be in here- the smoke is too much for his lungs, deadly for a bird of any size.
There’s an exit close by! The staff have propped open the doors because the fire is spreading faster- He hacks something horrible, a noise that only makes your anxiety worse. The guy with the attitude problem is leading the sentinels away, but you gotta get out of here soon. You swear under your breath, and as you turn to count heads one more time before instructing your group, you become aware of a tugging from the girl clinging to you.
“Where’s Alyah?” She asks, right as ice shoots through your veins. You’re missing two.
Oh god. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!
Theres no time for this. You can’t dwell on it, not now. The students are scared, faces a reflection of terror as you look at them all. The plan comes out of your mouth before you have time to think it through enough.
“Jan, I need you to do something for me.” The teen steps forward nervously. The eldest of the group, Jan was 17, with a shielding mutation that was stronger than Vibranum with the proper focus. “Alyah and her brother are missing, and I need to go find them.” Jan starts to shake their head, already ahead of you.
“No, no no. I can’t-” They begin. You step forward, placing your palms on their cheeks in an attempt to soothe, making them look at you.
“Yes, you can. Look at me. Otto is going to show you the way out, I just need you to keep everyone together, and prepare to shield in case the building goes down. I know you can do this. I’ll meet you out there as soon as I can, I just need you to get everyone else out first, Okay? Okay?” They're still shaking their head no, but you don't have any other choice. The last thing you want to do is put this all on someone so young, but you needed Jan to be strong for both themselves and the others. Otto Caws again as the building starts to shake, and you know the time for this conversation is up. You take a step back as the youngest of the group begins to hold onto Jan. They look at you, and then the others, and then back at you. They purse their lips and nod, and you know they’re going to be okay.
You only stay long enough to make sure the entirety of the students in your group are following Otto to the exit before you quickly retrace your steps down the smokey hallway. The building continues to shake, metal and concrete bending and screaming as you desperately try to figure out where the two kids could have gone. You counted all 15 at the paleontology section, and again at the hominin artifacts…
You can’t begin to panic. Not now. Eventually, you have to stop. You breathe as deeply as you can, and you try to gather your senses. There’s no one to ask, no animal or bird or person, and in times like these you wish your mutant ability had been anything else- and then you hear it.
There’s muffled cries coming from the adjacent room. You quickly make your way over, stepping over debris and fallen statues, and in the corner of this small room is Alyah and her brother, Malachi. You breathe a sigh of relief, rushing over to them as they call out your name.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” You ask them, trying to be as calm as possible. Malachi only cries, rushing forward to hug you.
“I’m sorry.” Alyah cries, grabbing ahold of your shirt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get lost. Malachi tripped- and I was trying to help him but when we got up we didn’t see you and-” You shush her, gathering her in a big hug with her brother.
“It’s okay! You’re okay. We just need to leave, alright? We need to leave now.” You tell her, doing your best to still stay calm. She doesn't have time to respond before the building rumbles again, sending the three of you unsteady on your feet as the ground begins to shake. There’s a screech above you, and you barley manage to cover the heads of the two young mutants as the doorway collapses into rubble. No, no no no. The kids begin to cry louder, scared. Mindless reassurances fall from your mouth as you stare in horror, trapped in the room with no way out.
The kids curl into your arms, and you don't know what to do. Another loud rumble makes you flinch as the shaking gets worse. You pull them in close, hunching over them as they sob. The room smells like sulfur and brimstone, the noise of the building too loud to hear anything else as the bones of the museum begin to give out, crumbling on top of you.
A second later, your head is spinning.
The warmth of the stuffy, smokey room is gone, replaced by the cool air of the breeze. Someone's arms fall away from you, and when you open your eyes, you're outside. Your heart is still beating like it's going to give out as you whisper to Alyah and Malachi that everything is okay, leaning back enough to check on them, brushing hair away from their face and making sure that you're all here, somehow.
“Are all of you alright?” A voice behind you asks- and it's… familiar.
It's like the world stills. You see the look on Malachi's face when he recognizes the figure of one of his teachers, a bright smile spreading across his cheeks as he pulls away from you and bolts for the man.
“Nightcrawler!” The boy cheers. Your eyes follow him as he jumps into the arms of a familiar face. Elf-like ears. Yellow eyes, and fuzzy blue skin. You stand in shock, Kurt swinging Malachi around in a big hug as Alyah joins her brother and Latches onto him as tight as she can muster. He's saying something to them, but you can't hear it past the blood thats rushing in your ears.
“Kurt?” His name comes out a little more broken than you intended, but he hears it all the same. The smile on his face instantly drops as his head snaps away from the kids and over to the spot where you stand. He's frozen for a second, but the recognition in his eyes is immediate. Kurt sets Malachi down carefully before disappearing completely. It takes only a fraction of a second before he's back again in a puff of smoke and his arms are tightly wound around you.
“You’re here? Mein Gott, I cannot believe that you are actually here.” He says airily, almost in complete disbelief. You're hugging him back just as tightly, face buried in his chest as your hands clutch at the fabric of his suit. You don't know what to say. You've been looking for years, and then you waited for months knowing he's right at your fingertips. And now that he's finally here, you don't have any words. His face is full of joy when he pulls back a bit, hands coming to cup your cheeks as he takes a good look at you.
“Look at you, more beautiful than ever!” Kurt cheers, and your hands come up to hold his wrists as you shake your head and laugh at him. He hasn't changed, has he? His smile falters only slightly when he sees the scars on your hands, but he looks up before he says anything, and his eyes go wide with panic.
You’re gone from the spot instantly, Kurt having teleported you to the kids, grabbed them, and teleported away before you could even form a thought about the situation. Once you get your bearings, you realize the four of you are far, far away from the spot where you had been standing, and in your place is a crater of smoke and ash, a sentinel now standing in your place. Its head moves, searching for the mutants it had missed, but you don't see it for long as Kurt grabs you by the shoulders.
“I've got this from here. I just need you to get back to the bus. Jean and the other students are waiting there already.” His face is serious, his brows furrowed, and completely different than you had ever seen before. You nod, reluctant to leave him the moment you finally had him back- but he gives you a reassuring smile, and you realize he already knows.
“I’ll be back for you, Schatz. I promise.” He pulls you close again, pressing a quick kiss to your temple, and as quick as he came, he’s gone once again.
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So. I started rewatching s1 today and have successfully avoided any spoilers for s2!! Please give me some vague things I won't understand till later lol
Hi guys! Sorry that ive been gone for so long. A lot's been happening. Ive started on a new medication and have picked up a million new hobbies- but im still writing!
My hyperfixations have bounced around and about and back again, and right now it's been star wars. If you missed my writing and are a fan of the bad batch, ive been working on a slowburn Hunter fic over on my Ao3 , dino_goofy_day. Ive been planning to fix up my star wars tumblr and post it here too, but ive been a little lazy lol.
Anyway, if you do check out the fic, make sure to comment and say Hi!
So, I finally did it! For those of you who are star wars fans, you can find me over on @theforceiswithdinogoofy if you'd like to read more of my fics :D
Hi guys! Sorry that ive been gone for so long. A lot's been happening. Ive started on a new medication and have picked up a million new hobbies- but im still writing!
My hyperfixations have bounced around and about and back again, and right now it's been star wars. If you missed my writing and are a fan of the bad batch, ive been working on a slowburn Hunter fic over on my Ao3 , dino_goofy_day. Ive been planning to fix up my star wars tumblr and post it here too, but ive been a little lazy lol.
Anyway, if you do check out the fic, make sure to comment and say Hi!
So my plans have mixed around and changed a little bit, But I'm going to do my very best to get these finished and posted in december! I'm going to be writing five fics as my winter event, which are listed below! There's no fancy vote or anything, just vibes and a prayer that I'll have time to finish these. any way, I'll link the finish products to this post once they are finished, and link this mini-masterlist next to my halloween event on my main Masterlist.
Snowed In- Wolverine
There's nothing, and I mean NOTHING worse than being sent on a mission with logan. Your huge crush on him is just too obvious, and he already doesn't seem to like you too much. When something goes wrong and you end up snowed in inside of an abandoned cabin in the woods, you find out your crush might not be as one-sided as you thought...
Snowball fight - Gambit
Gambit's not really used to the heavy amount of snow you get at the school in winter, And After all the pranks he's played on you in the warmer months, you take this December to get your payback. Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time before Remy catches on...
Three plus one - Nightcrawler
Three times Kurt catches you beneath the mistletoe, and the one time you finally kiss.
Ever lick a light pole in winter? - Colossus
You've always thought winter was the most romantic time of year, but lately Piotr has been avoiding your affection. You’re really starting to think something is wrong, and you just wish he would talk to you...
The- The- The- The grinch? - Beast
It's not very often that you get very young students, but when you do, you and the rest of the X-men do everything in your power to make the winter holidays magical for them. After one cozy movie night gone wrong, the kids keep waking you up in the night crying. If only you could figure out why...
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OKAY ! So Christmas Goofy is a go!! Ive got a very specific idea for fanfic this year, (has anyone seen "the holiday"? ;D if you know what I mean) And I need two different love interests any suggestions? Or should I just make a poll lol!
Sooo the reason I need two love interests is that im going to have two readers as my two halves of the story! (Again, please watch The holiday lol!!) So ive collected a list of characters that could work with what I have in mind.
OKAY ! So Christmas Goofy is a go!! Ive got a very specific idea for fanfic this year, (has anyone seen "the holiday"? ;D if you know what I mean) And I need two different love interests any suggestions? Or should I just make a poll lol!
Sooo the reason I need two love interests is that im going to have two readers as my two halves of the story! (Again, please watch The holiday lol!!) So ive collected a list of characters that could work with what I have in mind.
OKAY ! So Christmas Goofy is a go!! Ive got a very specific idea for fanfic this year, (has anyone seen "the holiday"? ;D if you know what I mean) And I need two different love interests any suggestions? Or should I just make a poll lol!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
