Waven Waniverse 5: Wa Better than You
Dear lord, this took way too long.
Yes, this is Stronger than You with Wario and Waluigi in it. Itās the longest one of these yet and I had to compress it to 192kbps audio just to make it fit on tumblr.
I got tons of requests for this, so hereās hopin yāall like it!
Mario: Wa-ha! (spinpunch)
Luigi: Wa! Wahoo! (punch, kick)
Waluigi: What are you DOING, Wario? Youāre losing! Hurry up and release me already!
Wario: NO! Iām-a still angry at you for that-a mushroom mix-up!
Waluigi: C'mon, they only had to pump HALF of your-a stomach!
Wario: I knowā¦I lost-a so much of my-a belly! It took a WEEK of garlic-munching to get my gut back!
I donāt want anything to do with you anymore!
Waluigi: You donāt mean that, Wari-
Waluigi: Warioā¦listenā¦Waluigi isnāt number one.
Waluigi: And you arenāt either. ESPECIALLY if you lose to those goody two-shoes plumbers.
Wario: What are you going on about-a now? You canāt trick me with the brother thing twice!
Waluigi: Thatās old hat! Waluigi would NEVER repeat old schemes! But listen.
I donāt really like you, and you donāt really like me. Thatās always gonna be how it is.
But donāt you see? If we can put aside our differences and work as one rotten villain, think of all the
OTHER
people wa can make even more miserable together!
Wario: Thatās-aā¦THATāS-A TRUE!
Waluigi: Nowā¦why donāt wa start-a with those Mario brothers?
Wario: Wa-ha! Good idea! Let'sa go!
Luigi: Are you going to fight or not? I thought I was the scaredy-cat here, but I guess thatās you! Ho-ho!
Mario: Ha-ha! Good one-a bro!
Luigi: He must be scared of fighting us alone!
Wario: Wahahaā¦Iām not alone at allā¦
*pulls the assist trophy out from behind his back, releases waluigi*
Waluigi: You were expecting to tag-team Wario?
*Waluigi delivers a rapid series of kicks to mario, who goes flying*
Waluigi: Wa! Wawawawawawawaaaa!
Mario: Waaaahahahaaaaaa! *ding*
Waluigi: Too bad. Waluigi time.
Announcer: PLAYER ONE DEFEATED.
Luigi: One-on-one, eh? I can-a handle thatā¦.wait, why arenāt you vanishing?
Waluigi: *chuckle* Donāt you see, Luigi?
Wario/Waluigi: We fight as one!
Both:
This is the Wa team
Spoilinā your day!
And no matter what you try to do to get rid of us two
Canāt make us go away!
Like on-disc DLC waāre here to stay!
Donāt you dare think this battleās for fun!
Come at us no items final destination
Letās-a go, just wa and you
Letās-a go, just 1v2
You think you can hit us? Maybe youāve forgotten
That together waāre immeasurably rotten
Wa can see you gettinā mad, sayinā waāre cheatinā
But you know youāre just āfraid to be beaten!
Nobody can stop what wa do together
Wa are gonna ruin everything forever
Whan you knock us out, waāll just respawn stronger
And waāll torture you for much much longer
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Luigi: Owowowoā¦those two are cheating! Save-a-meee!
Announcer: Whatās going on here! Waluigi?
Waluigi: Waaah! Wario, Quickly, waāve got to take him out!
Wario: OK. Hey-a you! Letsa go!
Announcer: What? What are you doing?
Wario/Waluigi: Waaaaaaā¦WA-HAAA! *hit*
Announcer: How can you even hit me? Iām just a metaphysical voooooice! *ding*
Wario/Waluigi:
This is how we fight
This is how we duel
If you try to overrule us
Waāll just bust up all your rules!
Cause wa have devotion
To the spread of misery
And this time wa will fight different
Nobody cheating but WE!
You think you can hit us? Maybe youāve forgotten
That together waāre immeasurably rotten
Wa know you must be crying a river of fear
Cos waāre drinking your delicious tears
Wa are so much more than wa are alone
Wa can disgust more than waād ever known
Wa are your worst fears
Wa are your Sadness
Wa are your Inner badness
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Waāre Wa better than you
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Waāre Wa better than you
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Waāre Wa better than you
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Wa-a-a-a-a
Luigi: Awawawawawaaaaa! *ding*
*sfx for end of smash match*
Announcer: and the winner isā¦ME.
Wario: We didnāt fight any miisā¦
Announcer: By CHEATING! But donāt worry, I know exactly what to do with cheaters like you.
Isnāt that right, WALUIGI?
Waluigi: Waaaahā¦Warioā¦RUUUN! *oof*
Announcer: You canāt escape the victory screen until all players press A, Waluigi.
Wario: Why are you afraid, Waluigi? Wa can take-a him again!
Waluigi: Not when heās in control!
Anouncer: A word of advice to WARIO and WALUIGI - DONāT F*CK WITH THE ANNOUNCER!
Waluigi: Weh..hehā¦Well, Wario, Welcome to Waluigi timeā¦
Waluigi: Donāt-a worry! Iām sure someone will let us out in a dayā¦or a weekā¦or a monthā¦
a yearā¦you know, you were the only one that ever actually let me OUT of this thing.
Wario: Waluigiā¦YOUāVE-A DOOMED US-A BOTH! YOUāRE A GONNA PAY FOR THIS YOU GANGLY GOOFBALL!
Waluigi: Waaaa! What happened to working together?!
Instrumental by Memoire HERE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyO3QS6WC_g
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