#ilya jerking shane off for ten seconds max before shane decides enough it is time for dick in my mouth#shane truly wants this so much i feel crazed about it#the whole kissing sequence where shane is echoing/learning the physical language of desire in real time#also i'm constantly (affectionately) making fun of shane's immediate need for dick but actually it's so grimly him#'if this is my only chance to fuck a man i can't waste any time' etc etc#like hot take shane's desperation in the early days is really intensified by the uncertainty bc every hookup could be the last one!#& if this is all he gets he's going to wring as much gay sex out of it as he possibly can#intricate ritual sex