*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

turn your attention to The Character

ID: digital art on a bright yellow background of a bird with blue-black feathers, which have yellow and orange asterisk-shaped stars on them

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

really fucking sucks that the only ways to get into space are to be a genius scientist or to have one William dollars. they should just take me to the ISS for a week because I'm a fun guy

every uncle will rite birthday messages like "happy Birth day have fun when are you coming to visit 💯💯" on the facebook page you haven't updated since 2017

you will send a message like "hello uncle hope you are well would it be okay if i came for a short visit on the so and so of july" and uncles will be like OK SENT FROM MY SMART FRIDGE

In light of recent events, I have begun submitting bug reports when I see mature content labels applied inappropriately to posts, especially if an appeal has been rejected.

Extremely good idea - how are you doing it? Through the contact us option?

for what it's worth: after a few months of submitting help tickets as 'feedback' when i saw a post inappropriately flagged as mature, i tried following this suggestion instead. today i got my first-ever response from tumblr support on this issue, letting me know that a post i'd submitted a ticket before has had its mature content flag removed.

my mom told me my first word was camel

When i was a baby they would wash me outside because i stank

Hey guys the star of Let It Snake is graduating high school today lmao

just another beautiful day on Gore of My Comfort Character Island

STOP REBLOGGING I MEAN MUTUALS