for the love of melanin

Mike:

I have to…

Fact is, all wounds heal, and I know with a little time and space I’ll find a way to get over you. But the truth of the matter is that is precisely what frightens me most. After all, healing means forgetting, and forgetting means saying goodbye, and I’m just not ready to let you go.

I live in the past because it’s the only place I can find you anymore.

sometimes you can just tell, you can tell that something’s changed, something imperceptible has shifted out of place, and what you were - how you fit together is forever altered. and sometimes it hurts in a way you can’t quite explain, it hurts more than an argument, more than leaving the house angry at 3am, more than packed bags and empty bottles of wine. it hurts because there’s no one to blame, there’s nothing to trace back, there is nothing to regret. sometimes things end without fanfare, sometimes it’s as simple as knowing that their eyes no longer light up when they see you smile. and sometimes it’s knowing that they love you enough to stay, despite that. sometimes love hurts more than hurt itself. sometimes you fall asleep, and in the morning find the world a changed place. but for the life of you - you can’t pinpoint the change. and sometimes that drives you mad, and sometimes it drives them away.

Speak up and share freely. The seed of sadness is silence.

i want to be happy for you, i do. but instead, i am so sad for myself.

Say what you like. I am not ashamed of my walls. My boundaries are my own and purposed for my shelter while I am in healing and vulnerable. I am regrouping. Life can wait. When I am good and ready I will climb them. Until then, let me be.

I don’t know what the hell my heart beats for, but it isn’t you, not anymore.

Say what you like. I am not ashamed of my walls. My boundaries are my own and purposed for my shelter while I am in healing and vulnerable. I am regrouping. Life can wait. When I am good and ready I will climb them. Until then, let me be.