Stirrings of my breath. 

If there is a heaven you’ve just gained wings.

Take me at 3am, take me down to where you rule.

Or come to me with feathers of power, come to me in my sleep.

I’d follow you into any darkness, not knowing where that darkness leads.

But religion, philosophy, our own beliefs, answer nothing for a coffin door with a lock but no key.

I want to know where you are and I want to feel you again.

Possess me and crush throat, take my lungs as your lover,

Or hold me as a friend.

I’m being selfish with my wants,

Because I can no longer ask your needs.

I’m left with too much to ponder,

Empty hands and a heart that bleeds.

I still hold your picture every night,

Stroke the glass of the frame like the skin of your face,

But it doesn’t have your scars,

And I’m destroyed by your fate.

2.1 miles you fled, and one month past 28 years you were gone,

I’m trying to come to grips with it,

But it all just feels so wrong.

I know you’d say it’s fitting,

But you’re not in my shoes.

Alive, beating, breathing,

Your mind knew everything that I knew.

But now I’m left with pictures,

Quiet memories and empty pews,

My soul was one with yours,

And now it’s been torn in two.

I’ll find ways to keep living,

Every day I’ll find ways to breathe life into the memories of you.

I have regrets I can’t begin to share, for they’ve become my cross.

But cross my heart; what we had was true and sacred,

He cantillated “follow on the path; you might be okay.”

I looked to the sky, tonight.

The stars twinkled back; one day things might be alright.

I put my cheek against the sandy strait, and she delivered my tears of woe to the one who gives us life

“The moon is full of power, she changes all, and yet is consistent every night”.

How can we call it chaos,

When watching the sun rise?

We know the quantum theories,

And if we want the future we must seek history.

How can’t we call it destiny,

When it all falls into place.

How can’t we call it fate,

When we’re made and broken by what we face.

I looked for the light,

And the silver lining shon.

It shined like I’d imagined,

That hope would have felt; had it come.

I sought out every flower,

That I could smell and witness bloom,

Just to be reminded with a painful shot,

That I took my chances too soon.

I take each step as it comes,

As they told me that I should.

And it got harder before it got better,

Just as they told me that it would.

But who’s tongue may pass the waters of pleasantries for truth.

Sometimes life befalls us,

And sometimes there’s nothing we can do.

How can I kick, when I’ve no oxygen to spare.

Carrying the weight of the world on broken arms,

Immersed by the void left by those who cared.

Too focused on trying to stay afloat,

To spare a finger to blame.

Just hope they use their starry fate,

For thanks that I’ve no air to speak their names.

I know I’ve been forsaken,

Broken, wronged and used.

And I know my hands are not clean of blood,

I have to let you go but I don’t want to let go because for once I made myself vulnerable. So vulnerable that even thinking about it makes me cry. I let you in and I never have done that before. Now that you’re in and you know my deepest secrets and I can be completely myself with you, I am forced to let you go. I don’t have a gun pointed at my head telling me to let you go, I just have my voice in my head telling me that this is not love. This is not friendship. This is an opportunity that you have used to your full advantage while I foolishly believed that you loved me and wanted the best for me like I wanted for you.

I have to let you go but I don’t want to let you go. Letting you go means that everyone was right about you no matter how many times you convinced me that they didn’t know you. I guess they didn’t need to personally know you to know people like you.

I have to let you go but I don’t want to let you go because regardless of how you feel about me my mind still loves you and wants so desperately to pick up the falling pieces of this relationship and mend them together. Cradle what we have back to health and pretend like nothing happened. But something did happen.

In triumph to the world the youthful Spring.

The valleys, hills, and woods in rich array

Welcome the coming of the long'd-for May.

Now all things smile, only my love doth lour;

Nor hath the scalding noonday sun the power

To melt that marble ice, which still doth hold