Cyd

I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up. 

I don’t send risky texts because if they don’t reply then I’ll look like a fool and I didn’t raise myself to be a fool, maybe a depressed son of a bitch but not a fool.

trying to play hard to get while being hard to want

BPD is having a mental breakdown but refusing to contact anyone because they won’t actually care and you don’t want to bother them or upset them with your erratic behavior so you just sit in your room and hope you can find a way to distract your mind before you hurt yourself

i need to be worse for it to matter