A Different Kind of Bravery

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t… I wish you’d never gotten tangled in that kind of thing. I wouldn’t change meeting you. I wouldn’t change any of it, But I would stay home that night, that weekend. No one should have to live this life. No one.”

He relaxed a little as she smiled. He’d always felt more relaxed when she smiled. He made a small sound at what she said then. “Not what they’ve done to me. I can’t… I’ll never forget what they’ve done to me, to you, to everyone I’ve cared about. Not even what she did to me, but I forgave her. I know it’s hard to understand why I would do that, but I have my reasons. There’s nothing that will change or make me forget what they’ve done to me.”

"Thanks. I'll remember. Although, I don't think he'll come after me any more. You be careful..." She said, in a tone she saved when she wanted him to take her seriously. Her mom voice, before she broke into a smile.

He found that he wished Jess would just tell him what she was thinking. It might make it easier to explain. “Betray me… again?” He was a little shocked at the phrase. “I don’t understand. You walked out of my hospital room, then some guy comes up to you on the street and talks to you and suddenly I’m in danger because of the girl I’m dating?” He shook his head, not sure what was going on anymore. He ran a hand down his face. 

“Dick Roman is the last man on earth that should be trusted. He nearly destroyed one of my closest friends. I only recently even found out Cas is even alive. I’m pretty sure Roman would rather see my head on a platter than anything else now.” He said quieter as he watched her fold up into the seat. He frowned.

"He was playing me. I get it..." she said suddenly. "Another reminder why I can't join you..." She obviously still didn't know how these things work.

"But good. That's all you had to say. As long as you trust her." She smiled once more, taking a sip of her coffee before she focused on a mark on the table again. "She must be pretty special actually. To make you forget what they've done to you..." She spoke quietly. She didn't want to be cruel, that wasn't her attention. But surely he had to know. It honestly once that that was making her talk like this. There was no point being jealous; he had moved on, even if Ruby wasn't there. 

He stared at her a moment in shock as she spoke. Mostly as she said he’d talked about Ruby. That made this even more confusing. What would Roman even have to say about him and Ruby?

He frowned at her next statement. “Jess… I don’t… I don’t understand.” He paused trying to process everything. “What do you mean? I mean… I know what she is. I don’t…” 

He sighed, his jaw setting slightly. “What did he tell you about her?” He was confused, and scared that there was something going on. He was almost afraid to move. 

But he really had no idea how much that hurt. She wasn't prepared for it herself. It didn't bother him at all, did it? That his girlfriend was a demon, the monsters that had killed her. Had pretended to be her friend, his friend, introduced them to each other... knowing exactly how it was going to end. And maybe it was wrong to lump them all together, but this was a demon that had betrayed him once before. She didn't know, she had no idea what the demon had possibly done to win his trust again, to wipe out everything demons had done to him, to his family, but she had done it...

And it hurt. It was more than jealously...

She looked at him, setting her jaw. "He told me that history was repeating itself. That she was planning to betray you again..." Jess held up her hands, her anger making her irritable. "I don't know if it's true. And I know you won't believe me. I just had to tell you... I couldn't just leave it." She didn't mean to be so short with him. She crumpled back into her chair, her frustration leaving her just as quickly as it came.

He sat back a little in shock at that news. “Oh. A uh… motel.” He couldn’t help but give a short chuckle at it. It was funny. He’d lived in motels most of the time since she’d been gone. “I’m sorry, it just… it’s strange to hear you say that. But good. I’m glad you’ve found something.” He couldn’t bring himself to say what he was thinking. 

His brow furrowed as her smile fell. He frowned at the sudden change. He nodded as she spoke. He knew there was more reason than just to catch up. She had called him for a reason. Not just out of the blue. 

Jess gripped the coffee cup, her foot tapping under the table as she started to doubt herself. She knew already that Roman was not one to be trusted. But his words rang true. How could Sam trust Ruby after everything she had done? Still, maybe he was just trying to break them up, using her as a pawn, making it easier to get to Sam...

"I... I don't know... he just... talked to me. About you..." Jess met his eyes and paused for a moment. She had to know. Had to know he was safe. "And Ruby..." she added quietly.

She kept his gaze, determined to see his reaction. "He... told me things about her, Sam. I know what she is, Sam. What she did. A demon." She had to say it. But she left out the rest of her sentence. Like one of those things that killed me...

He nodded at her. “No, not at all. Thanks.” He said taking a sip from the cup of coffee. He tried to relax as he drank the coffee. It was easier as he reminded himself it was only Jess. 

“Yeah. It is really good to see you.” He was glad the setting was different this time. He didn’t have to worry about seeing Lucifer in the corner while he talked to her. He smiled more easily now. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever see her again. 

She cut herself off and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Found a job... at a motel back in Sioux Falls..." Not quite the same as being a nurse but then again she knew she shouldn't be here at all. 

Her smile fell suddenly and she pressed her lips together as she looked at him. "But that's not why I've asked you here... I, um... I have to talk to you. And I hate being the one to say it but..." She really had no idea what to say to him.

He took the orange Mustang and hit the road. He didn’t like being away from Ruby, but decided it was probably best to go alone this time. Ruby promised she would be okay for the day or so that he would be gone. He stopped once or twice for fuel and food, but made it to Rock Springs sometime in the early afternoon. 

He was slightly worried about the meeting with Jess. She’d seemed worried over the phone. Not to mention it had been a completely change in opinion. He had watched her walk out of his room. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever see her again. A month later she called and said they needed to talk. He was definitely nervous about this. 

He found the small diner they’d agreed on, and pulled the door open. It didn’t take him very long to find her in the small dining room. He approached the small booth, slightly nervous. “Hey, Jess…” He said pausing a moment awkwardly before he slid into the seat opposite her. 

So she gave him an easy smile as he sat down, as easy as she could make it seem. "Hey, Sam. I hope you don't mind," she said, gesturing to the coffee.

"It's good to see you." It really was. She didn't like that the last time she saw him, he was pale, worn out, in a bleak hospital room. He looked much better now.

She frowned. Leviathan? Wasn't that... fish, or something? "And you need Sam to do your dirty work?" Jess wasn't sure where this was coming from, talking to him like this. She had no idea what he could do to her...

He could see just how easily he’d gotten Jessica Moore to listen to him. At the slight frown on her face he gave a sad smile. “If there are questions you have, ask me. I’m an open book.” It was clear she wouldn’t trust him completely, but he would get as close to completely as he could.

It was clear that demons were a hot topic for her. She didn’t seem to quite realize that from the moment Sam was six months old demons had been manipulating his life. She was part of that. She had been the ploy of a demon. Roman had done his research on the Winchesters. Castiel had made it quite simple actually all of the information in one place. He really should send that angel a fruit basket. 

But if he needed her, if she had to help Sam, then surely she had to trust him, just for now…

She had no idea what else to do. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget Sam… even if he had forgotten her.

He could see all of the worry she carried for Sam Winchester. He had to admit it was an endearing part of her character, even if she was right to do so. Sam was one of the supernatural world’s most wanted, and eventually his time would come but that wasn’t the most important part right now. Now, he just needed to make Sam unattached. He knew there was likely very little that would be able to do it. But he knew the Winchester quite well. They’d spent a little bit of time together, and one of the answers was the girl standing in front of him. Sam’s connection to her would be easier to deal with. 

He smiled kindly at her when she asked what she could do. “What can you do? You can help us convince him that he’s in trouble. We know that one of Ruby’s associates is on the lookout for him. This demon looking for him is very powerful and very pissed off. Ruby has worked for her a very long time and when the time comes will give in to this demon.”

She frowned slightly. Repeat itself? What did that mean? She knew Ruby had done bad things but this seemed more specific... had she tried this before?

Jess shook her head. She had no idea what to think. And she thought she was doing well. Getting away from all this. From him. It would be horrible. Going back, convincing him his girlfriend was using him... again. He wouldn't trust her... he'd tell her it was jealously talking. In the nicest way possible, yes, but it would be something along those lines.

Ruby had obviously done her job well. He was blinded by her it seems, if she could do it to him twice... Jess hated that. The idea of Sam being so easily mainpulated by a demon...

They had killed her...

He reached out a hand and placed it carefully on her shoulder. More contact it would help. He needed to understand what she was thinking about. He raised an eyebrow. He had to wait for her to finish her question. He could be patient. He needed to play reassuring now. He sighed when she did finally find her questions.

But if he needed her, if she had to help Sam, then surely she had to trust him, just for now...

She had no idea what else to do. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget Sam... even if he had forgotten her.