moon water

and I’ve never felt more visible and invisible at the same time.

I am disconnected from myself but somehow grounded into the seat so deeply I feel my roots grow into the tile.

it’s like I’m sitting on the other side of the empty booth. just watching myself.

I keep thinking, “sit up straight, take small bites, chew chew chew, I don’t even really like chic fil a”

how have I become so disconnected.

why am I about to have a panic attack in chic fil a.

I wonder if they think I’m strong enough.

I used to think I was, but the weight of being liked out does the weight of being respected.

do I want to be respected or liked?

I want to have both.

I’m sitting on the other side of the empty booth. just watching myself.

I’m not respected or liked by anyone here.