can u help me? i made a post about how i was unconsciously faking osdd and a lot of people said that i was not and what i was experiencing was actual symptoms. for comtext i have found posts i have no memory of making, drawings that i DO remember making, but i feel like *i* wasnt fully conscious when i made them? kind of like when youre half awake even though i didnt feel that way at the time if that makes sense. i do hear other voices and can have conversations with them. i mentioned that i went on r/systemscringe and it snapped me out of my delusion. and they all said that its a horrible source to go on there and no wonder i felt that way. anyways someone told me to ask an unbiased person for help and this seems like a pretty good place to just ask. what do i do??
im not telling anyone irl. out of the question. i live in a place where specialists are practically nonexistent. what im asking is what do i do with.. myself? if there are people in my head i dont want to deny them any more.
and, if youre wondering, yes, i did experience physical, mental, and emotional trauma between the ages of 5-9.
You do not remember some of the posts that you've made
You do remember drawings that you've made, however you don't feel as though you were fully there when you made them
You hear voices and you are able to have conversations with them
You have experienced trauma at a young age
What you've written describes dissociation, amnesia, potential alters, and childhood trauma. This can fit OSDD.
But I agree, it's no wonder that you "snapped out of it" on r/systemscringe. We have personally experienced similar things when we used to go on r/fakedisordercringe. Your brain will try to convince itself that you are not really disabled because you don't want to be looked down upon.
I suggest researching OSDD. If I had to be specific, research these things first
Dissociation (try to figure out if you dissociate and how often.)
Alters (try to figure out if the voices in your head are alters or not. We have a buddy who isn't a system but he still experiences voices just not alters.)
Dissociative amnesia (what you said about not remembering posts you've made seems like dissociative amnesia.)
Types of OSDD (it may help to know which type you could be!)
My friend once told me, "you understand yourself the best when you call yourself a system. So be one, even if you're wrong in the end."
If identifying as a system/self diagnosing is helpful to you, feel free to go with it. You could still find OSDDID tips helpful no matter what you have.
And don't worry about unconsciously faking. I don't believe I've ever seen a person unconsciously fake OSDD in all my years. Every system I've met worries about the same thing.
I hope you find your answer! Good luck!
