Jagged Pen

It's #NationalTakeAHikeDay. Personally, my favorite is National Go Jump in Lake day.

A 10 year old kid led Ohio state troopers on a 100 mph car chase yesterday. This is why you don’t let your kids watch The Dukes of Hazzard.

Baby Driver should have been ticketed for a missing Baby on Board sign.

Trump, upset over Russian collusion accusations, asked why Clinton was allowed to collude against Sanders. That’s obvious. Americans like their colluding domestic.

Gun violence is like cancer. Some countries prescribe preventative treatment, eliminating the cause. In the U.S., we prescribe an additionally pack of Lucky Strikes.

Shaq O’Neil came out in a recent interview as a ‘Flat-earther.' One thing's clear. He’ll never be a globe trotter.

Kellyanne Conway blamed Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes speech for “inciting people’s worst instincts.” That would be all instincts involving the brain.

Death, remember this in 2017. You can get just as many retweets and shares taking the famously unpopular people as with the popular people, and a few more Likes. Besides, Justice Scalia could use some company.

Ivanka Trump is getting the First Lady’s office at the White House, showing girls everywhere that they too can get ahead when their Daddy’s the boss.

Haven't seen or heard from Melania Trump for weeks. I guess Putin can only stay in drag so long.

VP-elect Mike Pence, when asked about Trump's baseless voter fraud claim, said, “I think the American people find it very refreshing that they have a president who will tell them what’s on his mind.” Evidently Trump's fact-free opinions are like Mentos for the Deplorable brain.

If you want to know Kellyanne Conway's dream surrogate job, watch Rosemary's baby.

Someone should tell Kellyanne Conway that her blond dye job isn't fooling anybody. We all know she's really Cruella de Vil.

Aretha Franklin's soulful, gospel styled National Anthem is getting lots of buzz due to its length. Please. If you've ever been in a Black church, you know she kept it short.

Ivanka Trump company promotes $10,000 bracelet worn on '60 Minutes.' It's from the "Let them Eat cake" collection.

After watching the 60 minutes interview with Trump, I think Leslie Stahl had Botox injections beforehand. It's the only explanation for her keeping a straight face while he was talking.