Diary Of A Whiny Guy

I just got home from the gym and I happened to wearing my pro-fit. This is what a pro-fit looks like: Since everyone puts up a selfie after the session at the gym! A photo posted by The Kolesmeister (@kolesmeister) on Jul 16, 2016 at 7:20am PDT //platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.jsDad was at the dining table when I walked in. Dad: Is that a pro-fit? Me: Yes. Dad: Where did you buy it from? Me:…

Earlier this year, I was in my beard growing phase. Well, I had decided that I will keep changing my beard style every two months. This was during those two months. Anyhow, I was at my usual Bong family get-together. Bong as in Bengali, not the one you smoke with. Some of mom’s friends complimented me on the beard but of them a major issue with my beard. She: What is that thing growing on your…

I was in one those moods when I wanted to go out and meet someone new. Not to date or anything but just for the thrills. It was Friday night and I decided to go to The Humming Tree. They have good music, good crowd and it’s very easy to start a conversation. So I reach The Humming Tree around 9 pm and I went straight to the bar and got myself a drink. Then I decided to “scope out” people. What I…

Holi Is Not A Holiday!

*Chilling at home with my brother* Him: So what plans on Holi? Me: Nothing really. The usual. Make bhang, then drink it and play Holi. Him: The entire day? Me: No, only in the evening. Him: And the rest of the day? Me: I’ve office. Him: What??! Me: What? Him: We have office on Holi? Me: Yes. Him: Since when? Me: Since always! Him: What? Holi isn’t a national holiday? Me: Nope! Him: What! My…

All of us from office had gone partying on a Friday night after work. By the end of the night, DJ was smashed drunk. Thankfully, he lived walking distance from that club. *Perks of living in Indiranagar* *DJ starts to head home* *Couldn’t even walk staright* Me: Hey! DJ: What…? Me: Do you need a lift? DJ: No…. I’m good! Me: You can’t even walk straight! DJ: So? You can’t arrest me for that! Me:…

*Overheard in office* Guy 1: Which loo do you use? Guy 2: As in? Guy 1: As in, the one in the right corner of the office or the one in the left corner? Guy 2: I dunno! Guy 1: What you mean you dunno? Guy 2: I have issues with both the loos. Guy 1: Like? Guy 2: The first one, the flush is so strong that it splashes on my pants! Guy 1: Yeah! That happened to me too! Plus they had put that Harpic…

The Best Nirvana Poster Ever!

*Another Nirvana related incident* *Meeting up with a friend a couple of months* Friend: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Me: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Friend: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Me: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Friend: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Me: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Friend: By the way…. Me: What? Friend: I saw this awesome Nirvana poster! Me: Where? Friend: I can’t remember it now… Me: Ok…… Friend: But it was really different from…

*At office* *Discussing about cars* DMM: Hey! Me: What? DMM: Have you noticed that all Mahindra cars end with an O? Me: Really? DMM: Yup! Me: Hmmmmm…. DMM: Think about it! Bolero, Scorpio, Xylo, Verito, e2o, Quanto…. Me: Well…. DMM: I’m telling you! All their cars end an O! Me: What about KUV? And TUV? DMM: Well….. It’s KUV100 and TUV300. So technically, it still ends with O. Me: Not really….…

*On a date* *Wearing my Kingslayer T-shirt* Date: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Me: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Date: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Me: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Date: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Me: Blah..Blah..Blah.. Date: By the way…. Me: Yeah? Date: I love your Nirvana T-Shirt! Me: My what? *Pointing at my T-shirt* Date: Your Nirvana T-shirt! The one that you’re wearing right now! I love Kurt Cobain! Me: Ummm…. That’s…

I was at NH7 Weekender, Bangalore. AR Rahman was playing and the atmosphere was electric. I had just met this cute chick near the bar area, we got talking and we headed to watch AR Rahman together. *AR Rahman starts playing* Cute Chick: OMG! OMG! OMG! It’s AR! Me: Yeah….. I know, I can see! Cute Chick: OMG! OMG! It’s like a dream come true! *She then proceeds to jump and wave her hands for the…

Till about 8-9 years ago, I had no idea what a sanitizer was. I just assumed that it was a women’s hygiene product. You know, because of the word sanitary in it. On numerous occasions, My Gf (back then) mentioned the word sanitizer and of course it didn’t make any sense to me. But then again, I was too embarrassed to ask her about it. Scene #1 Her:  Instead of carrying napkins, I carry a…

AB and I were out for lunch at Toit. AB: Have you decided what you’re planning to have? Me: No… Pass me the menu. AB: Here… *Passes me the menu* *As I was scrolling through the menu, a gorgeous woman passed by our table* Me: I know what I’m having! AB: Oh yeah….! Good choice, man! *AB starts grinning* Me: What? AB: Oh…. Me: What? AB: When you said, “I know what I’m having”, you were talking about…

Stormtroopers – E1 – Order 66

Hello there! Long time, no see. I’ve been busy. Like seriously. But now I’m back. I’ll try my best to post regularly.   Now that I know how to make my own gifs, I’ve decided to start my own comic series, featuring two Stormtroopers.   Without further adieu, here’s the first episode!

Talking to my friend ANJ about my obsession with graphic t-shirts. Me: I’m into graphic t-shirts. ANJ: Uh…Huh… Me: Check my X-men t-shirt! ANJ: Uh….Huh… Me: What? It’s pretty awesome! ANJ: You know… Me: What? ANJ: Unless you’re a chick, no one really gives a shit about what’s on your t-shirt! Me: Ouch…. ANJ: Yup….. #Burn

I was at The Humming Tree for a concert and I happen to run into some of my old college buddies. I got pretty excited on seeing them, lots of hugs going around and other weird male bonding stuff. Probably because I was four beers down. Anyways, I was pretty and I ordered a round of tequila for everyone. Yeah, not a smart idea. Me: Cheers everyone! College Buddy: Cheers! *After 20 mins* Me: Buy…

Our office had recently adopted a kitten. I was on leave on the day that it had happened. When I went to office the next day, I was very surprised to hear that she was named Mia Khalifa. Yes, you read that right. Me: So you guys named the cat Mia Khalifa? LB: Yeah… She’s Wiz Khalifa’s cousin, right? Me: Well… DB: Of course, she is! Me: Yes, I had forgotten! LB: I like that name… Us: *suppressing…

When Bae Is Mad!

JK and his girlfriend JS fight a lot. Like, a lot! I’m guessing that their post-fight make up sex is really hot. Otherwise, I have no idea why anyone would fight like this.  Anyways, whenever they fight, you can feel a storm brewing under the surface and never know when it might explode. We were en route to a camp site near Mysore called Tonnur at about 8 in the night. It’s about 3 hours drive…