Just a Weirdo

Mostly I make Pokemon art, fanart and crossovers that make zero sense. Pokemon are sapient here and have the ability to speak human language. I also have the social skills of a french fry.

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🦋 Bluesky 🦋

This is part of a short series of drawings that symbolize my grief after my mom unexpectedly passed away.

I've been struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I often feel like a slug trying to drag itself out of bed, leaving a trail of tears and slime. It's painful for me to motivate myself to get out of bed when I know that she's not downstairs eating breakfast and watching TV anymore.

Did I mention in this AU the Smiling Friends are in the main plot along with the Habiticians and Dr. Habit is the same species as Charlie, Pim, Allan and Glep? I mean, technically he could pass as a Critter. And Flower Kid is a nonbinary Meowscarada, because yes. And every single Tal fanwork is gonna have Pokemon being sapient and to have the ability to speak human language.

First of all, I can relate to Jax in this episode. For a long time, I pushed others away as well. It started when I got backstabbed by someone I befriended at my first job. We were friends for two years, and I did a lot for him. Then suddenly, in late 2019, he started behaving erratically and being a dick toward me for no reason. Finally, I cut him off. Then COVID hit shortly after, and I was in quarantine, so I couldn't see my best friend in person (who I'm still friends with to this day) or go to any social groups or whatever, so I could meet new people. I was stuck between staying home and working at the very store where I was backstabbed by that guy, so I couldn't move on.

As a result, I started developing trust and attachment issues. I pushed away anyone who genuinely wanted to be friends with me. Then my family and I moved across town, and I started working at Walmart. But then several coworkers at that place made me cry during my first week there, and one coworker would not respect my boundaries, which only prolonged these trust issues for three more years while I worked at that hellhole (something I regret). It took me leaving that place and working at Joann Fabrics before I could finally open up again. But even then, there are times when I still fall back into that mindset.

So I can sympathize with Jax here. No, that doesn't excuse his behavior, but I know what it's like to push away potential friendships out of fear of being hurt again. What I like most about it is that they showed how much it's hurting Jax himself, as well as others. I don't see a lot of that in fiction. That's some good ass writing right there. It's true, though. I was hurting myself when I pushed genuinely good people away. I imagine people got frustrated and hurt when I continued to push them away.

Also, I really hope that Jax gets a redemption arc or at least becomes the kind of jerk with a heart of gold. Or at the very least, if he does abstract, he gets some sort of moment where he apologizes or has a moment of clarity before abstracting completely.

In my opinion, I think it would be a bit anticlimactic if he ended up abstracting without some sort of closure beforehand. Not to mention how beloved Jax is within the fandom.