Stupid doaxter
(At a stakeout, in the car, its boring) Dexter: So… read any good blood spatter reports lately? Doakes: Shut the hell up before I spatter your blood on this wall. Dexter (internally): He really gets me.
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(in a realtionship)
During an argument Doakes: I don’t need you.
Dexter: Oh really? Then explain why you panic every time I don't text back within 20 minutes?
Doakes: ...I thought the FBI fucking got you.
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*Dexter brings Doakes coffee* Doakes: Did you poison this?
Dexter: Of course not. If I wanted to kill you, I’d do it with more finesse.
Doakes: ...You´re a weird freak. Fair enough *sips the coffee*
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(At a police briefing) Batista: This guy’s a sick, twisted freak who keeps trophies from his victims.
Dexter (whispering): Wow. Sounds awful. Who would do that.
Doakes (whispering back): You literally have blood slides from your victims.
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*Cuddling on the couch. Doakes sees Dexter looking through a magazine* Doakes: What are you looking at?
Dexter: Rope. Just... rope.
Doakes: For the boat or the body?
Dexter: Both. It's a versatile product.
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*Doakes accidentally uses Dexter’s kill knife to cut a sandwich* Dexter: That’s... that’s a designated blade.
Doakes: It cuts ham. It can cut victims. It’s called multitasking.
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*Dexter watching Doakes work out* Dexter (internally): God, I love him. He’s so angry. Like a sexy earthquake.
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*They both spot a suspicious guy at the crime scene* Dexter & Doakes (simultaneously): He's the killer.
*Both look at eachother*
Doakes: I call dibs fucker.














