The Reason Why Youâre Single
Do you ever wonder why you or your friends are still single? Have you gone on what you thought were great first , second, and even third dates and yet you still havenât found that special someone? Maybe youâre dating a couple of people simultaneously but when it comes down to it youâre still feeling alone. If a relationship is your goal and youâre doing plenty of dating, thereâs probably one main reason why youâre single. Can you guess what that reason is?
You have too many options.Â
Yes, you read that correctly. You might be wondering how thatâs even possible. Let me explain.
A wise woman once said, âdonât put all of your eggs in one bastard.â Regarding the early stages of dating I completely agree with her. There can be something fulfilling about exploring your options, learning what works for you in a relationship and what gets on your last nerve. Take your time. Enjoy dating. I highly recommend it.Â
Get out there and have some free meals! Experience some super awkward first dates and enjoy some surprisingly good ones. You deserve it. Just know that when youâre ready for something of substance itâs time to slow down and focus on quality versus quantity. People can tell when youâre half-assing a relationship with them.
 When youâre constantly dating multiple people the people you are dating will know that you are not fully investing in them. Why would anyone want to fully invest in the next step with you when youâre only giving them a sample? Sometimes you just canât do two things at once; no matter how well you think you can juggle.
Have you ever been to a theme park and tried to ride two rides at the same time? Hell no you havenât because a.) that would be crazy and b.) you probably wouldnât be alive to read this right now if you had actually succeeded. Do you know why you canât ride two rides at once? Besides the fact that there are probably two different height requirements, you canât ride two rides simultaneously because each ride is different. They each are intended for different age groups, they have different levels of risk, and they are all going at very different speeds.Â
The same can be said for dating and serious relationships. They both have their proâs and conâs but they provide different experiences. Dating is like taking a ride on the Tea Cups at Disney World. Itâs fun, exciting at first, and a great introduction to the potentially more exciting rides in your future. With that said, no one goes on the Tea Cups looking for the same thrill they get from the Magic Mountain ride. Why? Because they are on two completely different levels! A serious relationship is like Magic Mountain, there is a higher risk but it can yield a greater reward.
Personally I wish someone had explained this to me sooner. If they had I probably wouldnât have had so many free meals but I also wouldnât have half-ass invested in so many relationships and all together would have saved myself some heartache. It literally took a force of nature to make it clear to me.
I was visiting my family in Kansas City for the holidays but I already had my return flight booked back to New York. My trip was going to be a short one because I had a meeting in New York that Friday that I just couldnât miss. The weather was nearly perfect all week but when Thursday came around things took a turn for the worst. A huge snowstorm came and forced hundreds of cancellations across every major airline. That important meeting I had on Friday? Yeah, it was looking like I wasnât going to make it. I called into the airline to see if there were any other flights I could take. The only option they gave me was to book a new flight for the following day.
 Like a mouse searching for cheese, I began to look over every airline sight for the first/best flight out of Kansas City. Within the first five minutes of my search I found a great flight. Not only was it non-stop but Iâd get into the city at a reasonable hour. The flight was great but it wasnât perfect. I felt I could do better. I kept searching every other airline. I even called a few (thatâs when you know I was desperate). Finally, after spending the better part of a day finding flights from Kansas City to New York I decided that the flight I had originally bookmarked earlier in the day was just the flight I needed. With a smile on my face and a little peace of mind I went back to that original site to book the flight.Â
Unfortunately, that flight was no longer available. âWhat?! Youâre kidding right?â, I thought to myself. That flight was just what I needed. It wasnât perfect but it was perfect for me. By taking my time and juggling my options, I missed out on what I really wanted. Then it hit me. The same can be said for our relationships. No partner is ever going to be perfect. If you keep juggling your options and holding out for that âperfectâ person youâre going to miss the great person thatâs just right for you.Â
By the time you realize that they are the one you want, they will be gone. Someone else who saw their value from the very beginning will gladly take them off the market. Is that what you want?
The next time you go out and see a couple hotties at the restaurant or bar remember this: youâre single because you have too many options. Donât be greedy. Pick one. Have as many pairs of shoes as you want. Enjoy as many sports teams as you want but when it comes to lovers try making a choice. Who knows it might just turn out to be even better than Magic Mountain, and perhaps one of the best decisions youâll ever make in your life.














