— devon belmont

devon let out a light snort, head shaking as the faint hint of a fond smile creased her lips. caught in her own thoughts for a moment, her mind wandered. regardless of it’s historical and... underlying practices, beltane was an event that the young witch actually looked forward to. regardless of the cliché of it all, the fact that it was an inherent and old tradition of witches resonated within her. perhaps those feelings were fueled by her very blood, but the sense of belonging was something she couldn’t help but welcome. “at least it’s easier to plan for spikes in law breaking when you know a full moon is coming.” another grin, this one sharper and far more smirkier morphed across her face. “i’m curious to see if indecent exposer skyrockets around beltane, too. i wouldn’t put it past people in this country, to be honest.”

Maxi nodded, showing a good measure of curiosity. “May I ask what it is?” he asked, daring the question merely because she had mentioned it as if it was something he could ask. Even though he already knew. He smiled at the kindness showed in the information, figuring she was a good employee. “Anything else in this direction that I could add to my growing pile?” he asked. He had money enough to just take it all with him, and he figured if he bought enough she would be praised for a nice profit.

— ♕ —

devon’s hands flex unconsciously at her side. there isn’t any outward unease at the question, but she always feels like a fake when she says it out loud. she can heal, but not fully. not without repercussions. “healing,” the blonde admits. “i can heal.” brows furrowing in thought next, she returned to the aisle, scanning, before sliding out two other records and handing them over. “these should fit.”

He nods, trying to confirm what he had said. After all, Benji doesn’t really need anything here. He had come to Coffee Spells to kill time and look for some books to read while he’s still unemployed. He needs some way to spend all his newfound free time. 

“Yeah, I’m just browsing!” He smiles, looking at the person over his pile of books. He sets them down for a moment, just to rest his arms for a second. “Go ahead, if they have another copy I can just ask.”

— ♕ —

devon nods, slipping the book underneath her arm. “you’ve got a collection going,” she comments offhandedly, eyes skimming the shelves. she’ll amass one of her own soon, too, if her mothers list has anything to do with it.

He was wrong for dumping all of this on someone who was a decade younger than he was. Wrong for it because he was so used to hold it all in, to not talk about it except for with Miles and Charlie - especially Charlie. His short-comings were his own, and while he felt like they were man, and while he felt like he would never manage to change his life for the better, it was unfair to voice these concerns to her. But he had, and his skin felt uncomfortably warm as he did, his chest seemingly trying to cave in on itself. He hunched his shoulders a bit. He had to do a shit ton of good, that much was true. And she might be albe to understand the sheer volume of it if he dared to talk about it. 

He almost chuckled at the pointed look, though perhaps he felt that way because he was starting to see how absurd it was. Did he believe he was good? Or could he believe he was? “I’m not giving up,” he said, pulling his arms to his chest. “Devon, I-” He swallowed. “I feel like I’m burdening you with this, and I don’t mean to do that,” he said. “I feel like you deserve more from me, you’ve only ever wanted to help, and I’ve only brought you trouble.” 

— ♕ —

devon looks less than convinced at his denial, but doesn’t say anything. instead her eyebrows furrow next, mind thumbing through the words. “why would you think this is a burden?” the question leaves her before she can really think about it, gaze shifting from her fiddling fingers to his face. “i’m a healer,” she states simply. “and people heal in different ways. i’ve got magic for the physical stuff, sure. but some people’s injuries aren’t blood and broken skin. so,” she licks her lips. “if talking through shit helps you heal then i... don’t think that’s a burden at all. it’s something that you deserve. and it’s something that i am more than willing to help with.”

a graceless snort leaves her and she fights the urge to smirk despite the circumstances. “believe me, my brothers have brought me more trouble than you ever have. and regardless, like i said. you keep apologizing for everything that’s happened. so whatever has happened you didn’t have a hand in. at least not the person you are now.”

“Yeah it really wasn’t the thing that I expected to wake up to first thing in the morning.” She replied. When she got the message she wanted to throw her phone but she composed herself and didn’t do it. “I couldn’t agree with you more, there is nothing worse than making an already bad situation worse.”

— ♕ —

devon pulls a face. “nothing worse,” the young witch echoes. “it just ruins your whole day.” turning, a wince creases her lips. “at least it’s over with? and maybe it won’t be able to get worse?”

Status: Open

Where: Coffee Spells

It feels odd to be somewhere he used to work, but he came to Coffee Spells to browse the bookshelves. Benji feels a little restless without a job and having been away from Astoria for a few months, he feels the need to get himself reacquainted with the area. It’s good for him to get out and revisit the places he used to know, plus it gives him an excuse to look for some books to read. He’s been doing a lot of reading lately, he finds that doing something quiet helps him sometimes.

As he’s browsing, he slowly accumulates a small pile of books, which he’s holding. As he peruses the shelves he keeps finding more books that sound interesting. It’s more of a “Maybe” pile really, things he might read but is unsure on. He’s about to grab another book when he notices another hand reaching for it and draws back. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice that you were reaching for that. I’m just looking, go ahead and take it if you need it.” He gives the other person a friendly smile.

— ♕ —

it’s not often she finds herself within the crowded shelves of coffee and spells. more often than not it’s an errand from her mother that brings her here, or possibly a some break from work or research. it’s the former today and as devon’s eyes scan over the list of books the belmont matriarch had given her, she doesn’t see the other.

“you sure?” she asks, though her hand is still frozen where it had been caught mid reach. “there might be multiple copies somewhere if you still want to look it over.”

Zhyan wasn’t sure if he had completely destroyed wherever was between them in forms of friendship, but it felt significant, it felt like there was a lot there that he couldn’t fix. That in opening himself up to someone, opening up this seed of guilt and doubt, without actually explaining where it was from, that it would make her look at him differently. But he had no control over that, she had said as much as he had to agree. He had no control over what she would think of him, he couldn’t convince her that he was a bad person, he could, and perhaps he should, reflect on the fact that she thought he was a good person. He wanted to believe that, he wanted to believe it, to believe his own guilt was a reason why he couldn’t be a monster. To believe that the Spirit hadn’t corrupted him in its disregard for life. He offered her only silence for a moment. 

He stared at her as she spoke, sometimes thinking he could have a different perspective. “Karma…” he cleared his throat. “Karma means that what I do in this life predetermines where I will start in the next. It’s what I’ve always believed, what I still believe. It means that I have to start doing a lot of good if I want to erase all the bad I’ve done.” He swallowed, it wasn’t much of an admittance, despite having told people, it still felt impossible to repeat again. He always thought it would make it easier, but it didn’t, it only got harder. “But the bad keeps haunting me. Someone like you, like Laurel, you’re good people, you save people, help people, you are willing to lay your own lives on the line to save those around you. People like me are the reason why you have to.” In his mind that had everything to do with Karma. Because he was selfishly thinking about his own soul, what would happen to it, knowing he could never be like Devon and Laurel, knowing that their next lives would be better for how good they were now, while his would be worse. And the cycle would continue, and he felt like he was trapped.

— ♕ —

she waits. there must be a point. there must be a reason behind his words or reasoning. but maybe devon’s just too young to understand. or too stubborn. because she doesn’t get why he still sees himself in the light that he does. “okay?” the blonde ends up saying after a long moment. unsure of whether or not it’s a question or a statement. “so you have to do a shit ton of good, which you won’t be able to do if you keep thinking you’re not worth doing good in the first place.” devon sighs, fiddling with her hands for a moment as she tries to collect her thoughts. again that feeling of missing something washes over her -- it seems simple. cut and dry. if you try to do good things then you are inherently good, regardless of the bad that happens. and if you try and do bad things then you’re, well, bad.

“doing good things isn’t easy. and, yeah, it’s harder for some people more than others, but if you give up because things are hard then i’m... not sure you really wanted to be good in the first place. i think people have to continuously work to be better, it’s not something that is just there. being good starts with the belief that you can be.” she flashes him a pointed look, “so you have to believe that you are good.”

Zhyan didn’t want to hear it, those were the thoughts that came to mind when she started talking, he looked away and tried to linger in his own self-pity. But he couldn’t help but think her words weren’t just empty, they were well thought out, they were clear, they were what he wanted to hear. Was that why he wasn’t willing to listen at first. He swallowed again as he pressed the palms of his hands together, rubbing the flesh between his thumb and other fingers. He looked up when she said she didn’t think he thought very highly of himself, words caught in his throat. He turned away again, then took a deep breath in, but they didn’t empty out. When she lay a hand on his arm, he had to look back up. The simple fact that she was trying to reassure him, that she was telling him that he wasn’t a bad person, no matter every fiber in his being wanting her to know she was incorrect: he was a monster, he had done so many bad things that it made him a monster. But she managed to sound so convincing, she told him the things he had always wished to hear from other people, but words they had never thought he deserved, so he had began to think he didn’t deserve them either. 

His body felt warm and uncomfortable. “You’re pretty wise, you know,” he said. The words sounded empty, a laugh behind them, because he didn’t know what else to say. He tried to give himself a moment to come up with something better to say, but instead his shoulders dropped. “Do you believe in Karma, Devon?” he asked. “Not the idea I’ve heard lately where something you do now will affect your life later on, but the one where everything you do in your life will affect your next life?” He wasn’t so sure where he was going with that, where he was going with anything. He somehow wanted to tell her, wanted to let her know that he was dangerous and she shouldn’t think he was a good person. But he liked the idea she had, he wanted to believe that because he still thought of what he had done as bad, because he felt guilt for all of it, he could be a good person.

— ♕ —

devon removes her hand the moment he turns back towards her. the impulse had been there before her brain had comprehended her movements and the last thing she wanted to do was make him more uncomfortable than he might have already been. “i’ve been known to have my moments,” she responds with a soft smile edged with a smirk. it doesn’t last, though. this doesn’t feel like the time or the place to shoulder her cocky and arrogant visage. however much it makes her hands fidget, this situation called for vulnerability and truth.

“i’m not sure,” she answers truthfully. “there aren’t many things i believe in. i... hate to think we don’t have control over most of our future. that we have no say in how things turn out. but... maybe there’s some truth to actions. do you think that’s the case? that actions imprint on other lives you live?” not to the extent of reincarnation, she doesn’t think. but something akin to it. “i think depending on how terrible a person is, the universe has to balance itself out, sure.”

“Yeah I know that I am not alone with those moments.” She replied to her with a small smile appearing on her lips as she spoke to her. Her eyes widened as she mentioned the same thing happening to her. “It can be quite a pain can’t it, you believe that a person is out of your life for good and then all of a sudden they want you back. Casualties? I take it that you reacted in a way that didn’t have people around to see, especially if you were home when it happened.”

— ♕ —

devon fights the urge to wince. “yeah that’s... never a fun time.” she’d wanted to disappear on more than one occasion when someone she’d wanted to forget about tried to come back in. the situations were never fun. “i try not to,” devon admits. “it always brings far too much attention than its worth. and if im already feeling shitty, i don’t want that to get worse.”

Maybe. That answer should’ve been enough for him, he didn’t mean to pry, he shouldn’t be prying. If she had wanted to continue, that wasn’t his problem. Only he couldn’t help but think it was. He shivered slightly as he bit the inside of his mouth to keep him from saying anything too hasty. Looking at her he tried to not, tried to agree with her, but wasn’t sure he could.

Even if it was true, he still felt responsible. For all of it, for what happened to Laurel, for what Devon had gone through. Her words were not enough to rid him of his guilt. He was already looking away slightly when she hit him on the shoulder, and turned away from her even more in shame. If not for Laurel, he would’ve killed them all. He swallowed. I have control over my own shit choices, he didn’t say. “The bullet was meant for me. If she had died she would’ve died for me.” And was his life worth more than someone else’s? He had grown accustomed to thinking he was supposed to be important, that his life was more important, which only made him believe the opposite.

— ♕ —

devon frowned. she couldn’t say she knew exactly what he was thinking -- their meetings were fleeting and often comprised of stressful situations -- but the blonde could tell enough just based on body language alone. guilty. he felt guilty about the things that had happened. “and if that had happened, that would have been her choice,” devon says. “i don’t know her well, so maybe her instinct to protect was just that. an instinct. but it was her choice regardless. whether or not you think you deserve that is kind of biased. you can’t control what other people think or do. besides,” she fixes him with another frown. “something tells me you don’t think too highly of yourself anyways.”

the blonde doesn’t mean the words in any form of malic. more often than not, people were humble and accepted most instances. the fact that he thought himself underserving meant something (or multiple somethings) had happened in his life to make him think otherwise. devon sighs heavily. “look. there are moments in your life that can be regular old moments or they can be turning points. it just depends on what you do with them.” she puts a hand on his arm, an attempt to get him to turn back around. “you’re not a bad person. but that doesn’t mean that you cannot do bad things. the difference is that a good person who has done bad things feels guilt.” she fixes him with a look. “and the fact that you feel guilty that laurel could have died tells me everything i need to know about the kind of person you are.”

Maxi nodded, allowing for his face to merely portray sympathy at their shared lack of knowledge on the subject. For all his intelligence and information stored in his brain, Maxi knew little to nothing about the world of supernaturals aside from what could be useful to him. About Shapeshifters he knew the most, if only on account of being able to control the changes. Control was something Maxi bathed in, however there was chaos in the lack of it, and he would always enjoy being able to set a situation to his own purpose. “Alas, nothing for us to worry about, because you do have your own magic. No need to think of what will not happen.”

— ♕ —

devon snorts gracelessly through her nose. “i have magic, sure, but it’s not the same as my family.” there had been no part of her childhood that had been modified by this fact. her brothers had been annoying, sure, but they’d never used that fact against her. or it had been a one and done situation. because they’d realized that regardless, devon punished herself for that fact far more than they ever could. “anyways,” the blonde shakes herself out of the thought. “is there anything else you’d like to look at. we’re getting in a new shipment sometime later this week if we don’t have what you want.”

▬

The comment caused Charlotte to scoff, but deep down she found in it an issue. Going soft on others. Charlie had a small list of people in that city that she noticed that in her own twisted way, she cared about them. There was a battle within herself to grasp that intention of protecting someone that wasn’t her, because feelings were usually unattainable in her perspective, for different kinds of relations. Used to faking them, definitely not used to actually having any of those. “I promise you it won’t happen again,” an empty promise. But it sounded better than actually stating that like Zakary and Leon. Devon was a weak spot for Charlotte, the kind of weakness that Joaquin would constantly talk about with the other woman.

Hazel hues focused on every action coming from the young woman, before a small grin of pride appeared over her lips. “I’d definitely kick your ass, there’s no argument in there. But, maybe the defeat could help you to try to get better so next time you’d be the one kicking my ass,” highly unlikely for Charlie, but well, Devon could definitely surprise the shapeshifter. “It’s one hell of a challenge because, you know, my super strength and everything…” she shrugged. Skills that once were seen as really important by the alpha that raised her. But before silence would install between both women, Charlotte shared another round of movements, prepared to take each action she expected from Devon. “As long as you can defend yourself if needed, that should be good enough…” So far Astoria didn’t give reasons why Devon should learn how to attack or kill anyway. So far.

— ♕ —

“i believe you.” the words are laughed out and devon nods her head, like she is completely and utterly sure of that fact. not that she didn’t think the other woman cared -- cared in her own way just like devon did -- but that tough love was far more comfortable. for the both of them. emotions were strange, weird things. the young witch wasn’t sure she was fond of the vulnerability they brought.

continuing to go through the moves, devon let out a graceless snort. “i doubt that’ll ever happen.” truth be told, the young witch didn’t mind losing to someone like charlie day in and day out. she’d refuse to accept defeat from her brothers until the day she died, but certain people she was more than happy to surrender to. “yeah. there is that one small aspect,” a grin slips across her lips. half the time devon felt very much like a regular human. her magic wasn’t offensive by any means. but she’d spent her childhood growing up around brothers who loved to cheat and use magic. she’d figured out ways to combat those powers. “defend to a point where i can get away, you mean.”

Aubrey had heard that full moons could be rather intense on Nova Pangea but they hadn’t quite believed it. They’d dealt with a lot over the course of their life, they could deal with this too. It’s why they’d agreed to pick up a couple scenes. The day had been fine so far, lulling Aubrey’s already low defenses into something weaker.

Which is why Aubrey was caught so off guard when they caught their reflection after they’d finished eating lunch. Because the face that was starting back at them? Wasn’t their own. They’d actually had to do a double take, because being a shapeshifter after all it wasn’t uncommon for the face that they were wearing not to be their own. But they hadn’t actually decided to shift. And yet the proof of it was staring back at them. Their brother’s face staring back at them.

Panic started to grip their chest when they realized that they couldn’t control it, couldn’t turn back. What was going on? They rushed down the street, not paying much attention to their surroundings, barely stopping themselves from crashing into someone. “You have to help me. I don’t know what going on.” They said, reaching out to grip their shoulders.

— ♕ —

there’s a moment where devon’s mind tells her to back away slowly. to turn and just forget this whole thing, lock herself in her apartment and wait for the full moon to be over. events always seemed rather... eventful whenever a full moon hit and she’d had her fair share of them. devon was tired. she deserved a break.

but there’s pure desperation staring back at her and for the life of her, devon cannot turn away. sighing heavily towards the sky, the blonde witch doesn’t pull away from the contact at her shoulders. “okay,” she says. “okay. i just need you to take a deep breath for me and then explain as much as you can form into words. you don’t know what’s going on? but you’re sure something’s wrong? is it the moon?” are you not human? is the question that hangs just underneath.

He shook his head. “So you would’ve stopped? If I hadn’t given you my Magic, you would’ve stopped?” He needed to know, he needed to know he wasn’t… he wouldn’t have been the reason for her death too. Even if it hadn’t happened. His mind was on Anwar, the one person who had died because of his choices, directly, his mistakes. His stomach hurt, his body felt extremely painful, as if the realisation was enough to completely shut him down. 

Zhyan knew she was trying to help, he knew she was right, that nobody died because of what he had been capable of. But he still remembered the gun that had been pointed at him, the sound of the shot, the conscious decision of telling Devon to let go because Laurel was going to die. “If it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t have been in that situation,” he said, matter of factly, coldly. 

— ♕ —

devon pursed her lips slightly, frowning. “i... maybe? i might have tried to stabilize her and keep her stable. who knows. i’ve been told i’m a bit...” she trailed off and a small wince crinkled across her face. “impulsive.” the blonde turns to him, lifting a wagging finger. “but that would have been my choice. not yours. my choice, my consequences.”

before she can stop herself, devon balls her fist and hits him on the upper arm. “shut the fuck up,” she snaps, eyes hard. “i don’t remember you pulling the trigger. therefore none of it was your fault. you have absolutely no control over the shit choices and decisions other people make.”

Lorna looked up and noticed that it was somebody that she had met a while ago. Normally she would be able to think of names, but at that point she couldn’t remember hers, or did they even exchange names in the first place. The brunette sighed as she ran her hands through her hair before looking back to her. “I really am so sorry, I kind of feel like an idiot for just shouting out in the middle of public. I honestly don’t know what came over me. You have had that same experience, did you get a call or message from somebody that you never wanted to see again and it makes you furious to your core.”

— ♕ —

devon offered a small shrug. “like i said, everyone has those moments.” not that devon could say hers were many. or that they happened anywhere she didn’t want them to. whether she admitted it or not, her drive to keep things private almost always reared its head in some way or another. “i have,” she admitted. “but most of the time i was either in my apartment or at my home. so there weren’t many casualties.”

she can feel her magic stir beneath her skin. a writhing just underneath the surface. devon doesn’t know how witches with physical magic can stand moons like this. the mild discomfort she feels can only be amplified within others. teeth slightly gritted and jaw locked, the young witch pulls the shop door closed and withdraws the keys. even during most moons, she works. better to keep her mind busy than to sit and just think about the power squirming inside her.

with a sigh devon locks the door and turns. peripheral and instinct catch the person before her mind can process their proximity and she just manages to step out of the way with a remarkable graceful pivot. “sorry,” is our of her mouth before she can stop it, eyes lifting from the locked front door to the other.

The knot in his stomach expended as Devon continued to talk, she didn’t give a straight answer, but he felt like he was capable of reading between the lines, studying her, and recognising there was more happening than the words she shared. And when she actually stated it, the consequences of her ability, and the consequences of the situation, Zhyan felt almost as if he wanted to puke. He kept one hand on his stomach as he steadied himself. He knew Laurel could’ve died. It had been her choice to throw herself between him and a bullet, and he had always believed that she had saved all their lives, even if they wouldn’t have been able to save her. Because if he had been shot, he just knew the Spirt would’ve killed everyone. 

He nodded, his mind suddenly thrust into desperation as he realised Devon might’ve also died. if it hadn’t been for him they would’ve all died, one way or another. He took a deep breath. “Why did you keep on trying to save her? If you knew you might’ve died with her?” he asked, his voice slightly shrill, as he tried to accept his own role in all of it. If not for him: none of it would’ve happened. 

— ♕ —

her eyes flick to him. devon knows that tone. or at least knows the question and the impending realization of her own actions. perhaps, though, it isn’t completely about her own impulses that night. “because i knew i wasn’t going to,” she answers simply with a shrug. “i knew your magic would be enough to help. i’ve trained long enough to know the pull of power and when i’ve started to go too far.” the conversations still spring up with her parents every now and then, particularly when things within astoria seem to go wrong.

“it’s fine now,” devon says, inclining her head. “no one died.” a pause, then, “because of you -- your power. that thing inside of you. no one died because of that. i was able to heal laurel with your help. everything’s fine. things are okay.”