hi

I receive that message daily, from guys near and far. And often from anonymous, geographically indeterminate locations.

I don’t mind if a person prefers to remain anonymous. There are a thousand reasons I can imagine why; there many more reasons I can’t imagine, that are just as compelling.

To anyone who is beyond interested, and no longer satisfied fantasizing; when you are actually r-e-a-d-y to tie a guy or be tied up:

Check Fetlife.net and recon.com for guys and bondage groups in your area.

If you don’t find a group near, then organize and start one. Also, on YouTube there are several tutorials from Twisted Monk. Watts The Safeword is also a useful YouTube channel for rope advice.

Bondage porn vids are hot and easy enough to find. Show your favorite pictures and videos to the guy 1)tying you or 2) you’re tying, and tell him you’d like to try a mild, beginner version. You want a bondage buddy who fantasizes on his own time; and more importantly he plays safe/sane on your time. I ask the same from the guys I tie up: don’t fantasize at me before or during a session. Because…

Fantasies are hot, I have several. But the fantasy is merely a short-lived rush. Yet the weight of one connected, mutually enjoyable session can be felt for a lifetime. Reality blows fantasy out the door.

For years I was unable to actualize my fantasies into reality. Partially due to living and working in repressed, gay bashing places; partially due to inexperience. Mostly because I was afraid.

Grab your fear by the hand::look it in the eye. And move forward. The things you’ve feared for so long, you’ve endured them from the start; you’re stronger than your fears. Show your fear you’re in charge. Bring it with you, don’t let it anchor you in place. Fear tells you to watch out for the storm that’s coming. I say to my fears:

I am the storm.

To me bdsm is the sub being brave, facing fears, guided through by the Dom. The sub leaves the session with the experience of lessening fear’s hold on him.