rants&delusions

in general, i think their styles come down to how secure they feel in their relationship with mc. of all the li's, imo caleb is the most secure. by virtue of their upbringing and the experiments conducted on mc, he literally knows her better than she knows herself. i've actually wanted to play more with the idea of caleb reshaping himself according to experiences with mc in between her childhood episodes of memory loss. he's seen mc in all iterations, and he's had the opportunity to fine-tune himself in response. for me, this casts his ability to anticipate mc's needs in their adulthood in a new light. it's not just romantic intuition, but a careful study. he's tailored himself to her over years and years.

caleb knows mc's needs, and so he manipulates mc by continuously reinforcing that he's needed. he's also come to believe that he knows what's best for her in perpetuity and that belief informs the way he moves. he wants to make that safe world for the two of them come to fruition, and he's not afraid to act if it feels like she's impeding him. when he does cross her boundaries he knows he can always wield their history together to ensure that forgiveness is always within reach. (brief aside: the forgiveness coupon was diabolical and i just know he had that bad boy locked and loaded. still pissed we didn't get it as a desk decoration btw!!!)

meanwhile, i tend to write rafayel from a place of insecurity. similar to caleb's case, it's not that he doesn't think he's worthy of mc. quite the opposite. the sea god complex is strong within him, and he's painfully aware that he's (forgive the pun) a catch. additionally, as a deity, he has a sense of entitlement and ownership over her that the other li's don't share.

i'd argue that while caleb wants a romantic relationship with mc, he's also secure enough to know that he has a unique, irreplaceable place in her world whether that desire's realized or not. the end of homecoming wings and exquisite aftertaste is evidence of that: in terms of defining their relationship as familial, romantic, or some deep and abiding secret third thing, the ball's in her court. but if the sweet overdrive event confirmed anything, it's that rafayel wouldn't be so tolerant if mc ever stepped away.

but knowing that someone belongs to you is different from them choosing to be with you. and because he doesn't have the same access to her as zayne, caleb, or xavier, or (now that we know he doesn't have any memories of their previous lives) the same depth of knowledge, rafayel isn't above manipulating their circumstances to draw her close. in my sanctarch fic, i called out how he presents mc with an impossible choice: to go along with the ritual or reignite the conflict with Murya. this is rafayel's m.o. he constantly does this in the modern timeline with the bodyguard arrangement, the fake theft in ignited echoes, etc. it's just that in this timeline, it's all done under the cover of charm and whimsy. his habit of whisking her off to some remote location (a boat or island) with the bare minimum of information is so symbolically appropriate it's painful. a siren leading mc to choose between a rock and a hard place. of course she has to go along with his whims.

rafayel engineers excuses to drag her into close proximity because she has little reason to seek him out otherwise. once she's around, he peacocks and woos in hopes she'll start desiring him of her own accord. this approach is rooted in a sort of yearning that's well-suited for a young deity in how selfish and all-consuming it is. rafayel's confident that the "mortal" mc "belongs" to him and that he's more than worthy of her affections. what he isn't confident about is whether she'll desire him to the same codependent degree.

so he manipulates their circumstances to achieve that outcome. if it sounds insidious, that's because it is. that's not to say that there isn't genuine love and care there, but it's cut through with darker impulses that you aren't meant to notice upon first glance.

You died in his arms when he was a teen. He has never died or reincarnated. He remembers everything about your/his pasts.

He realized his family was planning on sacrificing you to save the galaxy. This puts him directly at odds with saving his people (as is his duty as crown prince) and his budding love for you. This is a constant in him (and Raf's) relationship with MC-- there are other people reliant on Xavier and the wishes of the other people may not always align with his relationship with you. That's why the new main story is so !!!!!! a!aaaaa!!!!!

His own titles, privileges, and roles he has played in your life. This includes: crown prince, shixiong/shimei, Lumiere, and your neighbor.

I'm going to focus on the third one because I think it illuminates a lot of how and why he manipulates MC.

The first immediate layer that is present in your relationship is shown in the Lightseeker myth. He is the crown prince. You are hoping to stay by his side as his knight. Both of you have feelings for each other, but tamp them down to play your roles. The thing about Xavier is: he is endlessly afraid that you love him for his roles and not as him, the individual. Prince Xavier, Lumiere, etc all of these are roles where he must be perfect, and he as an individual is not. That is why as you two progress in your relationship he constantly asks for reassurance in a roundabout way.

"That's why you should cherish me" (2nd birthday card)

His whole episode over MC liking Lumiere, he stops pouting when he realizes that MC likes him the most ("dummies that get jealous and sulk are my favorite" - MC)

the entire Feverish Attempts card lbr ("whaT if I DiE")

"Even Lumiere is afraid of certain things..." (Veiled Guardian)

Another constant with him is that he does not try to pursue MC until she does (Lightseeker myth, King myth, Linkon). This is because he is keenly aware that he has power over you, whether it is as crown prince, as your senior/shixiong, as your higher-ranked Association coworker, and as your king. This is exemplified in his treatment of you in King myth, in Linkon, and most recently, in the main story update where he held his breath until you mentioned seeing him abroad Traceback II in your vision. This again, stems from wanting to be sure that mc likes him for him, and that he didn't pressure or coerce her by way of his power.

He also has power over you (in a sense) because he has met and loved your past selves. This is actually where he and Caleb have a lot in common-- except Caleb is very nostalgia focused (and weaponizes nostalgia) and Xavier is constantly future-oriented (talking about eloping to Uluru, backup plans for how to save Philos) because he never got to have a relationship with you before Linkon.

We don't get a lot of insight into Xavier's interior, so I'll start subbing in my take on him. I read Xavier as someone who is self-assured, confident, and very much has his own life that he created for himself in Linkon (very sexy of him). This is the very first time in his entire life that he is finally, finally able to act on his feelings for you knowing that you fully reciprocate. You can see him however, falling into some old habits:

requesting your help, all the time, even for menial things that he full well can do himself. Lightseeker was insanely obvious when he said: oh so you fancy fools who request your aid??? and immediately took off his brooch and was like: ok help me, I'm a fool. This plays into his need for reassurance. The oh, she still likes me even when I'm not this perfect stoic man, I can be a little silly I can just be me.

roleplaying: i genuinely think he finds it a little easier sometimes to communicate when he isn't "playing" himself. See: No Restraint, Fluffy Trap, Eulogy of Light, the various promise cards that I can't recall rn. I've never seen a couple that adores roleplaying as much as they do lmao.

he acts first, acts clueless, and then asks for forgiveness <- that's his standard mode of operation. Eulogy of Light MC actually says this plainly, and he admits that that's because as royalty, he was taught to play his cards close to his chest and not reveal his actual position because it could cost him leverage. Although Eulogy is an AU, it and Catch-22 do a phenomenal job of illustrating XavMC.

I think he likes playing up being a little airheaded/silly because he is finally mostly free to indulge in his childishness, which we can assume was pretty suppressed on account of being a prince and all. This is evident in Misty Silhouette, where he lashes out over his jealousy (which he knows is childish).

I know people like to play Misty for laughs because yes he is being a jealous idiot but it never was quite about Charlie, it was about him being childish and demanding of MC's time AS WELL AS relationship development because he finally feels free to acknowledge his inner pettiness and that MC likes him regardless. He is keenly aware that he is childish and possessive (going so far as to admit it on an interview in one of the pre-release materials). Relationships as we know, even as great as they can be, do have a tendency of bringing out our inner child and illuminate just how difficult it is to communicate and be honest with your feelings. Xavier is not someone who communicates well, partly out of his upbringing and partly because he was always in a "role" and never just himself.

I also think that while yes, Xavier does "manipulate" MC, this is also their dynamic. They're constantly pulling little schemes on each other, manipulating the situation to get what they want from each other, manipulating others through roleplaying (see: newest promise). Xavier sometimes does it out of anxiety, but I genuinely do think he is a lot more secure now at this point in their relationship.

In his second birthday card he says that his greatest wishes were to meet you, and to stay by your side no matter what that looked like. That's where he's coming from. He loved you even when he thought you liked someone else, crossed time and space for a way to save you, all for the hope of seeing you again and to be by you. He would be satisfied if that relationship was as neighbors, as coworkers, anything so long as you're in his life. If that involves engineering situations to spend more time with you, he is 100% okay with that. I would actually argue that he does it less in more recent cards because again, I read him as being a lot more secure now.