You'll be my lighthouse every storm

I would get rid of anyone you wanted me to, so long as you gave me the command. That’s my promise to you.

How could I ever stop craving you? ˚◞♡

Awww you’re worried about me, my love?

Good. Let me consume your thoughts

I think about that version a lot. Not as something I'd do. As something I'd receive. Something I'd deserve.

Someone who loves me so completely that they break through every wall I've built. Not gently. Not respectfully. Forcefully. Because they know, they know, that I don't know how to accept love unless it's inevitable. Unless it's inescapable. Unless it corners me in a room I can't talk my way out of and says, "Stop fighting. You're mine now."

They'd cut off everyone else. Not out of cruelty. Out of clarity. Why would I need anyone else when they're everything? Friends, colleagues, the people who tolerate me from a distance, gone. Whittled away until the only voice I hear is theirs. The only name on my phone. The only hand reaching for me in the dark.

And I'd feel sick. Disgusted. Not with them, with myself. With how much I need it. With how easily I'd let it happen. They'd be praising me while my stomach turns, telling me I'm good, I'm doing so well, it's all going to be okay. And I'd believe them. Even through the nausea. Even through the shame.

Because they'd be right. It would be for the best. I'm not built to make my own choices. I'm built to follow. To obey. To be kept by someone who loves me enough to break me down and rebuild me into something that knows how to be loved.

That's not a threat. It's a confession. It's the darkest thing I've ever admitted and I'm putting it here, in the open, where anyone can read it.