Με Αγαπάς;

Hollow nothingness

Empty eyes and soulless essence peer through the phone screen

She manages to infest my bloodstream yet again

Flooding my veins with resentment

Waking up in a sweat at 3am wondering how it is I could feel so angry again

The need to know overwhelms me

Karma ebbs and flows through all of our lives

She picks and chooses when to reveal herself

And for different purposes each time

I’ve become numb to the thought of him, yet curious as to how the two of them are existing in this reality

After the chaos that ensued so many years ago,

How?

How can they live with themselves?

Then again - that grudge has dissipated into a small ache in my chest barely awake most days

Only amplified by locations, songs, words or names

Smells, cars, or a language

A slight sting at the core of my chest

Reminding me of the start of it all

My journey to her through multiple heartbreaks

And as special as the happiness is that I have found; as lucky as I feel -

I cannot help but remember

Simply remember

My experience with the grief

The pain,

The absolute agony they both put me through

All because of true, innocent and pure love

Yet -

I thank them

For pointing me in this direction

Reminding me through these dreams that I am here

I am still here,

Waking up to a beautiful woman who sees me through and through

Every crack and crevice

Every imperfection

Is worshipped as I worship hers

As I should have been, all along