fuck off

+ pro lgbt, including neogenders and neopronouns.

+ pro recovery.

+ pro being medicated.

+ pro survivors of any type of abuse.

+ neuro divergent safe space.

+ if i haven't properly tagged something that needs to be tagged, please let me know and i will rectify the issue as soon as i can.

+ i am an adult, but this is a safe space for minors to interact. nsfw content will be tagged, if ever even posted.

+ if you want to vent, but don't want it on your blog, send it to me and i will anonymously post it for you. other people's vents will be tagged under #lambtails , and mine will be under #mothlights .

+ despite the nature of this blog, this is a safe space for everyone. i will accept you with no judgement as to how you are, and i hope you do the same for me.

+ please know that i care about you. you are not just names on my screen, you are people with lives and personalities. you are apart of my heard now, and we will stay safe and together. i am here for you.

i know i talk about my self harm, and i will continue to do so, but i really hope that everyone who follows or interacts with this blog understands that they can recover and become clean from it someday. it's a coping mechanism for right now, and the light will shine through eventually.

i care about you, and my dms are open for everyone. it's okay to send me a message at any point, or even put an ask in the ask box. i will get to you when i can.

after the cheating, the lies and manipulation, the heart break. hiding things because i knew they would argue with me about them, hiding things because i knew they would treat me like shit over my problems. it feels good. it feels good to finally be free.

they admitted to several disgusting things, that they had sexually abused an animal at some point in their life. that they tried to have sex with their ex while their underage best friend slept in the same bed. that they thought that minors who were scantily clad were sexually confusing, and sexually attractive. it's repulsive.

they used me sexually, and never gave in return. it was all give, give, give, give. never when i wanted it, only when they did - to which i barely wanted it sometimes, i just wanted the contact between us.

they starved their pet bird to death because they were too negligent to get up and feed them.

they tried to say that my greyromanticism could be fixed.

they cheated on me the same week i started testosterone, out of pure jealousy for starting it.

they dismiss my ptsd, and especially the trauma related to the relationship. the trauma that they caused.

they used me for the little money i had. they never repaid me, or returned gift giving, they just took and took from me. they're so fucking selfish it hurts. it fucking hurts. i gave them everything i could, and i got nothing in return.

on top of all of that, they're fucking going to travel during a global pandemic. are you serious? are you stupid? you caught covid and you're going to travel interstate during a pandemic? i can't believe you.

you did it. you brought me to the point of relapse. you brought me to the point of drug addiction. you fucking did this to me and now i have to make myself better again. i hate you. i hate what you've done to me. i hate that i have to make myself whole again.

i literally just misspoke and you took it as something i never intended.

don't say you support me and then disappear when i need support. you are such a piece of fucking shit. fuck you. don't even fucking ask next time. you're so fake it fucking hurts.

a sinner begging for forgiveness for the actions of others, for the actions of myself, for the actions of my abusers.

counted them in a public toilet