California

I always loved how back in the day before cellphones, people were unreachable if they weren’t at home. You can call but I won’t be there to answer. You can leave a message but you don’t know how long it’ll be until I hear it. You don’t know if I’m home, but you will have to make the trip to come to my house and knock on the door, hoping I’ll be there. And if I’m not…you can’t reach me!! Now that everyone has a cellphone the expectation of being reachable 24/7 is so disastrous. And let’s not even get into read receipts. I think one of the worst times of my inner peace is when I had an apple watch and suddenly every text and phone call and notification was on my freaking wrist, even if my phone was giving the illusion of distance by being in my pocket or bag or charging in another room. I stopped using it in 2022 and I’d rather eat a jean jacket with no water than ever be so connected again. “oh you can just turn off notifications!” not the point.

I’m done intellectualizing my life. I’m ready to feel it. I’m done living in my head. I’m ready to simply embody and be. I’m allowed to be human. I’m allowed to be imperfect. My worth is not defined by anything external to me or the things I’ve gone through. My worth is inherent because I exist.

Protecting your peace looks like not responding.

My therapist once said “people don’t abandon the people they love, they abandon the people they’re using” and that was all the closure I needed.

movies think i wanna see a 22 year old in veneers

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