despondentdiviya

✭✩ welcome to my blog lovess ✩✭

things to know abt me:

my name is diviya, im sixteen

i started this blog as a way to express who i am, express my opinions on teen mental health, and talk about my life as a teen, i may also talk about movies, shows, books, and songs i like.

i hope this blog serves as a safe, relatable space for people like me

i will be posting regularly

☠︎︎ my interests ☠︎︎

art

music ♫

movies

shows

poetry

blogging

fashion

true crime

psychology Ψ

♡ some of my favorite shows/movies/animes ♡

mrs.peregrines home for peculiar children

book of life

fantastic mr fox

snowfall

coraline

corpse bride

chucky

adams family

saw

demon slayer

death note

a silent voice

and many more, esp as i continue my watch journey (recs always welcome)

♬ some my favorite music artists ♬

brent faiyaz

daniel caesar

malcolm todd

cigarettes after sex

avenoir

sonder

ski mask the slump god

xxxtentacion

tyler the creator

arctic monkeys

and many more that would make this list too long (ik my list is full of mainstream people but this is who i like :p)

♢ my fav youtubers/streamers ♢

joe bartolozzi

berleezy

kubz scouts

caseoh

coryxkenshin

rotten mango

¿ random ?

I love mangos, grapes, blueberries and strawberries

I love the horror genre

my fav scent is vanilla

my fav colors are green, purple, brown and black. HM- pink, blue, gold, silver

my favorite flower is spider lilies

my favorite animals are hyenas, bats, and snakes

this is my another one of my blogs -> https://despondentlydiviya.blogspot.com

hope you enjoy ur time here lovess <33 and always remember:

☠︎︎memento mori, memento vivere☠︎︎

the pain of wanting to love someone but they constantly bring you down and make you sad

talking is so fun. everyone should talk to eachother more i think it’d do alot of good for everyone to just have someone they could ramble on for hours with, being able to hear different perspectives, connect and relate with others, or just say random things that are on your mind. you can have alot of fun simply sitting down and talking.

talk to sm1 today it may make things a lil brighter

i cant wait to get older and be exactly who i want to be. piercings, tattoos, the exact style of clothes i want, amazing friends, the job i want. i cant wait to just be me and succeed.

my stomach churns, gut twisting violently

head reeling, vision blurring

seeing white, feeling lightheaded

my mind clear

void of any thoughts

but the ones that shake me

phone screen blaring

brightness all the way up

blinding me

venom fills my throat as much as smog clouds my skull

annoyance crawling its way up my spine

a spider seeking refuge amongst rotted branches

the feeling of disdain and resentment so familiar

so intense

the words they utter are the same as always

the story never new

so sick of hearing the same old thing

ears worked to death everyday with the same old monologues

eyes strained and reddened

for what?

for you to hear the same words

feel the same feelings

give your honest opinion

then see the same damn outcome

so sick of people

their vile words

heinous actions

failure to realize they’re in the wrong

refusal to take criticism

the anger creeps through your conscience and seeps into your soul

becoming one with who you are

or do you become it

you dont know

all you know is that you are sick

so.

incredibly.

sick.

from the archive, hope u all like it. bye lovess<33

take me back to the beach☹︎

listening to music while updating my blog is so comforting, this is probably the most peace ive felt in awhile, everyone pick up a new hobby ♡

p.s. if u want maybe check out my blog⤵︎ despondentlydiviya.blogspot.com

alot of people look at life with a bad perspective then wonder why their “entire” life is bad. yes some of the things that happen in your life will be bad theres no doubt about it, we all experience bad things but if you shift your perspective and realize that those bad things are making way for the good then life gets a little bit brighter.

once you understand and accept yourself for who you are the people that can do the same will come into your life. don’t dim your light or change who you are because there’s always someone out there who will love you for you.

bye lovess<33

When i look into your eyes i get lost in them

Two deep pools resting on your face

I could stare into them for hours

Your eyes make me feel things that ive never experienced before

I love looking into your eyes

When im stressed i could just stare and stare

My comfort

My happiness

My paradise

I would never see the day that your eyes had no affect on me

Or so i thought

Because this time when we make eye contact

Nothing happens

Not the usual cartwheels in my stomach

No heat clawing its way up to my face

Nothing.

Im just seeing.

Not looking.

Ur gaze no longer that interesting

Thats the moment i realize my heart is empty

A void left in my soul

The shape of your eyes

The image burning itself into my memory

But for all the wrong reasons

I can vividly remember looking at u so fondly

But now what i see is different

Just a mere aftermath

Of my fading feelings…

You say you hate me.

As if i believe that

You could never

Im always on your mind

In your heart

I am you.

You dont hate me…

Or do you?

I hope you dont

I cant live without you

We cant live without eachother

Because we are one in the same

So if you hate me

We must hate ourselves.

But i dont hate me

Atleast i dont try to

Im confused.

I may be a little self destructive at times but i still love us.

I love you.

Trust me i do

I just cant show it.

I just hope that i can love you enough for the both of us.

I dont want you to leave

Because part of me will leave with you

I cant lose me.

I wont call your bluff…

A lil smth frm the archive abt toxic relationships. Take care of yourselves don’t let unhealthy people stay in your life and drag you down.

i often rethink specific moments that happened in my life.

i cringe remembering that time i let out a squeaky “hi!” when one of my friends waved to me in the hall.

im ashamed recalling that one bad grade i got on a test.

im embarrassed thinking about when i fell down the stairs on the way to gym.

there are two things all those moments have in common.

theyre unpleasant moments in my life.

theyre in the past.

we as humans often ruminate and beat ourselves up over bad moments we’ve experienced 

its pointless.

no amount of wracking your brain will change the past so the best thing we can do is use that past as a lesson and move forward.

you only have so much life to live

spending it looking at what you could’ve done rather than what you can do is a waste

take control of your life.

live it to the fullest.

look toward the future.

late thoughts so i conjured this up bye lovess<33

i find it strange, interesting, somewhat beautiful, and somewhat frightening that living is one of if not the only thing every single human on earth experiences yet we all experience it so differently.