how do you make a home when you never knew one   ?   for most people it came so naturally ,   and maybe it is .   for them .   it’s something they remember from before tantalus became part of their lives   &   it’s something they simply go back to ,   something they welcome with open arms .   willow never knew home .   never knew the safety of one .   never had parents that cared or even tried ,   never had people that cared .   the only person she had before magnolia was her handler   &   that had always felt     .  .  .     different .   and now that she do have someone   (   at least she think she does .   )   she doesn’t always know how to handle it .   what to do with it .   being around magnolia always come so easily ,   like there is something inside that simply clicks   &   she can finally be herself .   she can dig up parts of herself ,   so hidden   :   even she didn’t know they were there yet magnolia somehow coax them out and it doesn’t feel too scary to reveal parts of herself .   

@dervoured​​ sent:  also give me theo hurt and he doesn’t let it show before they have driven in a car for a few miles and he almost pass out thanks

             she’s staring out the window.  eyes flicker between the buildings passing by and the side mirror in front of her.  no one is following them but she can’t resist the impulse to check every few minutes.  the only person who is supposed to be causing trouble is her.  she doesn’t understand why there is interference,  if it’s his own problems biting him in the ass or some other group who would love to get pieces of her under a microscope.  either way it doesn’t bode well for her.  eyes close and she releases a slow,  steadying breath.  she cannot control this.  she knows that.  but the truth of the matter is,  tantalus is the devil she knows.  she already understands how things work there.  she knows the rules and what to expect.  if someone else takes her she will be at a loss.  it will be worse and harder to figure out.  as her eyelids flutter back open she notices the vehicle beginning to drift.  brows furrow and she turns away from the window to glance at theo.  he looks about five seconds from losing conciousness.  what the fuck.  magnolia quickly reaches forward and grabs the steering wheel,  turning it before they run off the road.  there’s blood on his shirt.  his blood.  that’s obvious now.  ❝   pu—  ❞ heavy exhale  ❝  park.  ❞  he’s going to get them both killed which wouldn’t be so terrible except,  with her luck,  he would be the one dead and she would just be stuck,  injured and waiting to be captured by someone else.  

             it’s like a fairytale.  the little flurry of flakes float all around them,  gentle and delicate.  she wants to remember how magical it feels.  she wants to remember it’s beauty and replace uglier memories with things like this.  it’s all she wants anymore.  as if she could empty her brain of all the horrors and fill it with all these little joyous moments which make her glad she’s still here after all.  magnolia lifts willow’s hand to her mouth and presses a soft kiss to her knuckles.  ❝   not hard,  ❞  she murmurs.  a small smile is given and she sways side to side to demonstrate.  ❝   no one.  but us.   ❞  she adds after a moment.  they’re not being watched.  no one to judge.  no one to decide they’re not allowed to have fun anymore.  or that there’s no value in something a little silly.  gazing up at her with soft,  pleading eyes  ❝  just.  little bit.  ❞

             it feels like time stands still— or rather,  she feels like it races on all around her while she herself is just frozen.  watching.  waiting.  afraid.  she isn’t sure she even breathes properly the entire time.  oxygen only seems to enter her lungs again at the first signs of noelle reaching conciousness.  she is quick to rise from where she was perched,  moving to sit on the edge of her bed.  she takes one of the other woman’s hands and offers her a small smile.  ❝  told you,  ❞  she murmurs quietly.  noelle is too important to die yet.  and she thinks if the reaper had come for noelle she would have just fought him herself.  

leo hasn’t experienced the apocalypse in the way others have —-  and the longer he spends establishing their new settlement in the mall,  the more clear that becomes.  it’s safe here,  and it feels like something truly special,  but then sometimes,  they come across people who have lived out there or have had experiences he can’t imagine,  and it’s a blatant reminder of how sheltered and secure he’s been all this time.  nine years in a thriving community with secure walls,  then another year with access to some of the most promising resources he’s ever been able to work with on his research,  maybe even more so than he had before the fall  —  and yet, this is the first time he’s truly been out, living by his own devices,  no higher power like the CRM there to help them along.  but it feels good, because it’s what’s right.  sometimes things really are too good to be true — just like the CRM was,  in all its glory and advances.  now more than ever, he’s determined to do the right thing, under the right premises.  he and the other scientists and the other members of his community as genuine in their desire to offer any kind of help they can.  they’ve experienced something traumatic, yet they haven’t let it harden them.  

he scoffs,  a smile on his face as he waves her off.   ❝  oh,  no,  it’s no problem,  if you decide it’s a good idea.  i think they’re antsy to get back out there,  ❞   he chuckles.  part of what they feel like they’re doing here is  hiding,  so any chance to get away from that could be good for his son,  he thinks.   ❝  but—-  we’re here,  any time you’re in the area.  whether it’s because you need help,  a place to hide,  or you just want to stop by,  ❞   he smiles warmly.  his arms cross over his chest,  raising a brow with intrigue as he looks back at her.   ❝  yeah?  ❞   he wonders how much to divulge about himself, but he decides to, because he’s never been the kind of man who isn’t entirely open and honest about his life—  and he doesn’t want that to change now.   ❝  to be honest,  these past few months —  this has been the closest to being ‘ out there ‘ as i’ve come,  ❞   he admits.   ❝  most of us,  actually.  so, i have to admit, i don’t entirely know that feeling myself.   i’m trying to learn, though.  ❞   even the smartest man alive can still realize there’s so much to life he doesn’t know about yet.   ❝  what is it about being out there that’s nice for you?  ❞   he’s genuinely curious,  hoping to understand for himself, too.  

this place has potentional to be safe ,   to become someone’s home and sanctuary   &   while she would usually love to help and get them started ,   help them get settled ,   to try and figure out how to help   :   some of the equipment she had seen down here didn’t exactly awaken good memories .   perhaps been snooping because she was a little curious to see what kind of people they were ,   and so far they had been nothing but kind .   so far she had felt nothing but welcome by all of them .   still ,   there is some hesitation .   a gut feeling that maybe it would be better to leave   &   find her way back home .     ❝   i get that feeling .   ❞      getting antsy ,   wanting to get out there and just feel free .   something about seeing the world as it becomes something new ,   it changes all the time and she doens’t want to miss it .   spent so much time on her own after the virus first spread   &   while she found isadora and she found home     .  .  .     it still felt like she still needed that .   being alone .   clear her head and feel like she is still alive .

@dervoured sent: “you’re really cute, you know.”  

no, he doesn’t know, because that’s not a word he thinks he’s ever really been called  —  nor is it a word he’d expect to ever be called.  it’s not a bad thing,  it simply catches him off guard,  brows furrowed as his head tilts to the side and looks over her,  almost as if he’s waiting for her to correct herself.  his cheeks warm to a shade of pink,  and he lets out a soft laugh.  ❝  well,  no,  i s’pose i didn’t.  you sure you’re talkin’ about me? ❞   he grins,  shaking his head slightly.  he’s used to the compliment being thrown at his son  (  well deserved and primarily coming from himself, too  )   but it’s going to take him a moment to accept a compliment when it’s about his own appearance.  ❝  i think ‘cute’ works a whole lot better on you,  y’know.  ❞