Lan Sizhui/A Yuan/Wen Yuan
I wanted to just highlight the amount of trauma this child goes through. There are many orphans in the novel but he is twice orphaned. He is the only orphan who lost his caregivers twice within the first THREE years of his life. The amount of pain that causes to oneโs psyche - to bond, lose, bond again, lose again - is beyond words.ย
The other orphans like WWX, the Lan siblings, the Wen siblings, JC( though he is nearly a grown adult by the time he is orphaned tbh) never had to witness the horror of oneโs caregivers coming out of a blood pool as decaying corpses to fight one last time! Granny, who protected him when he was a little child, being raised in terribly resentful energy filled place,recognizes him! Even after years of death her love is so strong it transcends everything! And THEN she dies one final time in front of his eyes. Imagine what that did to his soul when he understood it all.
He suffers from memory loss - so badly broken is he as a child. He is also physically not as strong due to malnutrition in his childhood. With so much loss, pain, abuse, traumaโฆwho does he grow up to be? The kindest, most compassionate and intelligent of juniors. He doesnโt judge others - be it for their homosexuality, or for their so-calld evil reputation, or being less gifted than he is. In fact, he is so good, so healed that many readers complain he isย โboringโ. Not an interesting character. Thatโs what being good gets you sadly.
That healing took work, courage, support from lan seniorsโฆDid he have nightmares? Uncontrollable fear of starvation? Being on edge for years at any noise that started him for fear of suddenly getting attacked? Claustrophohia from hiding for dear life when he was just a little boy?ย
And here I want to pay tribute to the often mocked Gusu lan lifestyle. Because for a severely traumatized child, nothing is more healing and comfortable than structure, rules, clear lessons of morality and real life role models living by this code. Nothing is more safe than a place where alcohol is forbidden because alcohol and drug abuse is rampant in troubled youth. He could have turned into a raging alcoholic with a promiscous character so easily. But Lan Wangji and his sect were the best thing that could have happened to him.ย
So after he was left with nothing from his former life - No toys, no momentos, no pictures, not a single thing to hold onto, not even his own memoriest, he healed.ย
Enough to becomeย the biggest proof that we can choose to be who we become. He probably still struggles. Carries deep scars on his body and soul. And he is by no means perfect.ย But the point is we can always choose to be kind. To rise above what happened to us. Itโs not easy, but the Lan Sizhuis and A-yuans of our mortal world are the biggest heroes.
Because if you think this is only possible in fiction? nope. The courage to be kind in face of overwhelming cruetly has been recorded in human history through every war and genocide.ย
I find him endlessly inspirational. Next time you experience anxiety that maybe you will lose something which you cherish - family, friend, health, money, schoolingโฆwhatever it is, we all live in a world which has no guarantees, remember this boy who lost it all, not once but twice!ย
Or if you lament what you are born into - a bad family, a bad community, bad health, or bad luck, remember he is the last surviving descendant of the infamous Wen sect. Your birth doesnโt determine your future.
Remember that even if you lose every last thing you loved you can STILL go on, still become someone who is a source of joy and light to others, who is loved and loves. All you need to hold onto is your humanity. Choose to be kind. Be righteous.
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