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Early Plum Blossoms (Owl )  -     Nishimura Goun  

(( the harbinger is always watching ))

Hi, I hope you’re having a lovely day, and if not, I wish you all the positive vibes. I’m writing this post because I… don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to begin this either. Sorry this is probably really long.

I’m a senior in college right now, and while I had a job last year and worked for some time over the summer, I’m currently unemployed here (I had to quit because of abusive management and sexual harassment). People don’t seem to be keen on hiring a kid who’ll graduate/be out of the city in a year. I’ll definitely be on the lookout, but right now, there’s no guaranteed income… and my father might withdraw from his position at work within the year. My family sort of gets by, and I don’t want to put more pressure on my family than what they already have to deal with.

I was going to hope for the best and work on budgeting really well for a while, but I was recently hit with an emergency room bill of $50. I’m not sure how to prove anything here, really, but I wasn’t expecting to be admitted to the ER today (my school suspected me of suicidal ideation and gave me no choice in going & I got an eval done there).

This is honestly a lot of money and really dents my quality of life (clarifying: I’m trying not to faint from malnourishment) while trying to live away from my family all the way across the United States by myself. If my school counselors/local psychs and I determine that I need to try out meds, I really don’t know what I’ll do with all the expenses on top of having to buy food and books and etc. for myself. I’m a little scared, since winters are harsh in this area (northeastern USA), and my down jacket has holes that I taped over (no needle/thread). I’m scared that I’ll have to throw it away along with other worn items of clothing & replace them.

One Million Yen and the Nigamushi Woman (2008), Yu Aoi