☆ endless rambles abt stuff that interest me (mainly genshin)
☆ i may or may not be a dottolone/panttore writer for now
disclaimer:
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note: more fluff coming through. also moving forward, replies/comments are turned on♡ yes, this is a part two to the previous post.
financial arrangements were set into motion and paperworks were completed, pantalone was finally freed from his responsibilities for the evening. he didn't bother to waste another second in his office, quickly departing from the room. foosteps eagerly clicking against the floor titles, somewhat pacing himself to get closer to their shared quarters.
was he clingy? sure, one can agree but pantalone isn't ashamed by that label. who wouldn't be eager to see their significant other after a long, exhausting day of work? his hands pushed the door open, violet irises searching the room for a familiar doctor. pantalone steps inside, gently taking off his gloves, being careful this time to not lose his rings again.
his ears perked up at the sound of footsteps, his head turning in the direction of the noise. his face brightens almost immediately, self-control be damned. pantalone quickly walks over to dottore, embracing him into a tight hug. "you could have waited until i took my mask off, feofan." pantalone shook his head, a grin spread across his face as he place a kiss on the doctor's cheek.
"not a chance, it's been a while since we last saw each other."
"it's only been four hours."
"four hours is too long, too cruel on my heart." dottore sighs, finally reaching for his mask and taking it off, placing it down nearby on a table. his lips pressed against the banker's forehead, squeezing his waist gently. "so dramatic, love. at least i'm here now." he pulls back, just enough to brush his hand across pantalone's cheek.
"welcome home, sweetheart." pantalone could have sworn his stomach did flips at the nickname, still not used to it. he feigned a weak cough, looking away to hide the pink tint rising on his cheeks.
"hm, did you get shy on me?"
"no, it's just your imagination. ignore what you just saw." unfortunately for pantalone, dottore has an excellent memory. he hums, a small idea forming in his mind on how to tease the banker.
without warning, he lifted pantalone up into his arms, supporting his weight carefully. it was a delightful sight, watching the other man's face become red in a matters of second. "z-zandik, put me down!"
"no, i think this is perfect. i quite like it." his lips formed into a smirk before planting a quick peck on the banker's neck. dottore was going to treat this like a fun experiment as he begin to spin around, holding pantalone close.
he can't remember the last time he had a chance to be this carefree. marriage brought out a different side of him and he only showed it to pantalone. the sound of laughter filled their bedroom, his movements coming to a slow halt to reduce dizziness.
dottore carefully set pantalone down, landing back onto his feet. "how dare you, keeping me in the air like that?" he only hums in return, landing a peck on the banker's lips. "you were hardly complaining earlier, i don't want to hear it."
pantalone rolls his eyes before throwing his arms over the other man's neck. he was secretly happy that dottore had the strength to pick him up effortlessly but was he going to admit that out loud? probably not.
the remnants of laughter slowly cease, their eyes now linger on each other. the moment dottore closed his eyes, pantalone already knew to return the same affection. lips reunited, chasing after one kiss to another. they eventually separated, his breath hitched when dottore's lips trailed down his cheek and neck, kissing each part of his skin.
"love you so, so much. you're my world, feofan." his expression soften, pantalone feel his eyes getting a bit misty. he chuckles, cupping dottore's cheeks and kissing his temple briefly. "i love you too. my world, my everything, zandik." pantalone felt so safe with dottore, marrying him is a decision that he will never regret.
"it's hard to see you, dearie."
"perhaps it's because you're crying?"
"some dust landed in my eyes, you know how it is." the excuse was both pitiful and amusing that dottore couldn't help but chuckle. fine, he will resign from teasing pantalone any further tonight. "sure, let's go with that."
dottore takes a seat on the bed, gently patting his hand on his thigh. pantalone steps closer, smiling as he sits down on his husband's lap, resting his hands on dottore's shoulder.
"you don't plan to rest anytime soon?" dottore shakes his head, one hand resting on the banker's lower back and the other hand on the thigh. "later, i want to hold you longer."
"you say that and yet your hand placement is questionable."
"god forbid that i have a beautiful man in my lap. is it a crime to admire you, sweetheart?" pantalone groans, a familiar blush returning his cheeks. his heart can only take so much compliments. he lightly smacks dottore's shoulder, which only earned him a laugh from the other man. "you are so cheeky, zandik. you're lucky that i love you."
"i love you too, beautiful." a huff escapes pantalone's lips but his annoyance was very short-lived. he decided to pepper a few kisses on the doctor's face, both of them laughing and having their lighthearted fun for tonight. no more responsibilities and work, it's just them in their own little world. after work hours are always the most precious to them.
i think i'm still in utter disbelief because wdym i received 500+ likes on my works? i swear i had to do a double take, like do my eyes deceive me? omg, you guys will make me cry. i don't know what to say. just.. thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
as someone with chronic pain, i don't get many opportunities to rest comfortably. reading fanfics at night became comforting to me, especially after a rough day.
when i first started writing, it was meant to be a fun idea to try. my blog had been inactive for years (i still don't use tumblr much ngl-) and i was like, "hm maybe i could try something new."
and to witness so many people enjoying my works is making me sentimental. all of the kind words and rambles that only inspires me to make more ideas, like please, i'm so thankful. i don't mind if it's a short or long comment, all of it is so sweet. i will never get tired or annoyed of this, so thank you. let me get out here before i make myself cry. you guys are so lovely♡
note: dottore stays up late and pantalone encourages him to sleep
tedious data that produced meaningless results always managed to irritate dottore greatly. it's frustrating to watch the final product of his experiments end in a complete failure. his mind and body reaching its limits, a headache threatening to form. with a scowl on his expression, dottore turned on his heels and left his laboratory, deeply upset and annoyed.
arriving at his destination, he wasted no time in heading towards the bedroom for some peace and quiet. his hand pushed the door, absentmindly closing it shut with a loud thud. his hardened gaze falters a bit at the sight of pantalone in bed, seemingly reading a book to past the time.
pantalone lifts his head up, closing the book and setting it aside on the nightstand. clear as day, dottore seemed worn out. for someone who strives for greater knowledge, even his mind need a mental break too. "you're late again. are you alright, zandik?"
"i'm fine. however, it's 2AM. why are you still awake?" dottore started to peel away at his work attire, taking off his dress shirt and pants. he slips into something more comfortable, eventually removing the mask from his face before putting it down on a nearby table.
"i was waiting for you but that's not the point. you been working since this morning, aren't you tired?"
"resting isn't my concern at the moment."
"it should be. you always nag me about my health. why not take care of yourself too?" dottore looks away, his hand balling into a fist before releasing. he hates how his husband made a fair judgement, he doesn't allow himself to rest as often as he should.
a sigh left pantalone's lips before patting an empty spot on the bed, urging dottore to come closer. "there's nothing wrong with some rest, love. relax with me for tonight." and dottore did, finally climbing into bed and getting underneath the sheets. he felt pantalone pulling him close, finding himself resting his head on the banker's chest.
"there, much better. i wanted to hold you."
"i doubt this position is comfortable for you, feofan." a gentle hand ran through his blue hair, letting out a hum as he let pantalone stroke his head. "so? i don't mind, dear. just rest, you need it." dottore felt his eyelids getting heavier, exhaustion slowly overtaking his consciousness.
perhaps he wouldn't mind closing his eyes for a brief moment. but the moment he did, dottore had already drifted off to sleep, letting his mind and body replenish itself. a soft smile tugs on pantalone's lips, he knows it's not easy for dottore to let his walls down.
always so guarded and yet felt so safe around him, it's something that pantalone takes great pride in. he carefully reached for the lamp, turning off the lights as he grew tired as well. before sleep took him too, he whispered a few words of comfort, holding dottore closer. "sweet dreams, i love you zandik."
any opportunity to work together is something that dottore secretly enjoys. he doesn't mind working alone, he's quite accustomed to that lifestyle. but being married for many years allow him to change his usual routine, feeling at peace with pantalone's presence. trust is such a thin line that can easily be crossed. and yet, dottore found himself learning to relax for once in his life, all thanks to the banker's influence.
a pair of warm arms slowly wrapped around him from behind, dottore letting out a hum as he sorts through his most recent experimental logs. he tilts his head to side, just enough to peck pantalone's cheek before continuing to review his notes.
"the next batch of the elixir isn't finished yet, it will be done at the end of the day." pantalone shook his head, smiling as his hands gently squeezed the other man's waist. "i'm aware of that, no need to remind me. i just wanted to see you."
"you're awfully clingy today, dear." dottore sighs, setting down his notes on the desk before turning around to face his husband. both hands reached out to hold the banker's waist in return, placing a kiss on the nose, earning a soft chuckle from pantalone. "your mask is poking my face, zandik."
"oh, did you want me to take it off?"
"no, it's fine. it's not bothersome." but dottore still took it off, only for a brief moment. it's just them, no segments or subordinates to disturb their peaceful time. he dips his head, capturing his husband's lips into a soft kiss. tonight will be busy for both of them, so they might not each other for a couple of hours. they might as well make the most of their time now.
their lips separated just for a split second before chasing after a second kiss, dottore pulling pantalone closer to him. each kiss took their breath away, reluctantly pulling away after a while.
"i can taste the tobacco on your lips, just how many did you have?"
"don't worry about it. i promise it wasn't a lot." and yet somehow dottore doesn't believe that but he doesn't press it further, he will just trust pantalone's words for now. his hand reach for his mask, returning it to his face comfortably. "i submitted another proposal earlier. review it for me, feofan?" pantalone nods, gently fixing the doctor's mask, just so it's centered in place.
"i will but it won't be approved until maybe tomorrow morning."
"that's fine. the sooner, the better."
pantalone found himself not wanting to leave but he has a lot of paperwork to take care of. he gave dottore one more hug, smiling brightly once it was reciprocated back. "i must return to my office. love you, dearie." the hug slowly loosen as dottore held pantalone's hand into his own, bringing it up to his lips before pressing a gentle peck on the other man's knuckles. "love you too, beautiful. don't overexert yourself."
with that, they finally separated for the afternoon, the laboratory felt much quieter without the banker's presence. suddenly, dottore wishes for the day to end sooner, just so he can look forward to seeing his husband again.
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note: more soft dottolone/panttore. it brings me so much comfort. thank you to everybody for the support♡
boundaries
dottore is not a fan of PDA, he prefers to be affectionate with pantalone in private. he's okay with a few light touches or hand holding during meetings. if he's in a good mood, then he doesn't mind taking a few risks.
pantalone is the opposite, he adores it so much. he didn't really care if anybody saw, that's his husband. but he does understand dottore's reluctance and he refrains from going overboard. maybe a quick peck on the cheek occassionally but nothing on the lips (unless in private).
the mask almost never leaves dottore's face unless he's with pantalone. if they are together in public, it's not being removed under no circumstances. but in private, he will allow it. he knows pantalone won't judge him for his scars.
we all know pantalone smokes, nothing new but the smell of tobacco irks dottore to his core. it's hard to quit old habits but pantalone did at least try to accomodate to his husband's wishes. smoking in the laboratory was strictly off-limits and he would only smoke outside, that's what they established.
professionalism
they see each other quite often during work hours. pantalone enjoys sneaking away from work and hiding in his husband's lab for hours. dottore would complain, insisting that the banker was neglecting his duties. but does he really push pantalone away? no, not at all. his husband was allowed to stay for as long as he wants.
i can imagine one of the doctor's subordinates delivering a funding request to pantalone's desk, waiting for his approval. on the outside, he's composed and calm but in the inside, he was definitely jumping for joy. because pantalone loves 'rejecting' dottore's requests, it was the perfect opportunity to tease the doctor. but of course, he still approves it in the end, despite dottore's frustration in the beginning.
they always keep their affections to a minimum around their coworkers. but a few of them were just sick of their lovey dovey shit sometimes. why does it feel like they were indirectly flirting during one of the harbinger meetings?
quality time together
if they has some time to spare, then dottore would play the piano for pantalone in private. it's a great way to relax after a long day of work. pantalone might try to join in by humming the tune, sitting close to his husband and resting his head on dottore's shoulder.
dottore would give pantalone some brief lessons on music, teaching him which keys to press and how to follow the rhythm. he tries not to laugh whenever pantalone accidentially hits a couple of high keys but it was kinda cute.
hugging
hugs are a big thing for them. in public, they might embrace each other whenever nobody was looking in their direction. in private, they would hug much longer and sometimes reluctant to separate from one another. pantalone would probably initiate most of the hugs and dottore doesn't mind receiving them.
it's very rare for this to happen but just to make pantalone flustered, dottore would pick him up and spin him around lightly. never fails to catch the banker off-guard but it always end with both of them smiling.
note: pantalone struggling to make a gift for dottore
craftmanship is not pantalone's speciality. it was more convenient to buy whatever he desires with mora. however, he wanted to make something special for dottore. so, pantalone took a different approach and bought a whole sewing kit.
it was supposed to be the perfect present, a handmade scarf for his husband since dottore always complains about snezhnaya's cold climate. however, pantalone truly underestimated how difficult sewing can be, that was his first and most critical error.
it was simply a disaster from the start. he messed up the pattern multiple times, stitching it wrongly in some areas. then he was constantly poking his hands with the end of the needle, safe to say that six out of ten of his fingers require bandaids. the final product was not living up to his standards.
yes, it's useable but it doesn't look appealing. two toned colors of blue and red did not mix that very well. pantalone was disappointed, he had worked for many hours at his desk and risked losing a couple of fingers for this project. he wasn't satisfied at all.
his footsteps were heavy, heading in the direction of their shared quarters. dottore was already there, taking off his coat and mask. pantalone hid the scarf behind his back, how would he even bring it up? "you look awfully defeated, feofan. did something happen?"
"i'm alright, no need to worry. it's just.." his words felt heavy on his tongue. there's no use in trying to hide it, might as well be honest. pantalone reluctantly reveals the scarf from behind his back, stepping closer to dottore with a melancholic expression. "here, for you. i made it earlier.. go ahead and laugh, it's quite appalling."
he watched anxiously as dottore takes the fabric into his hands, averting his gaze quickly. pantalone would rather not see his husband's reaction, he couldn't bear it.
"i like it, feofan."
"you don't have to lie for my sake, zandik.."
"i'm not lying, why would i? it's lovely." to prove his point, dottore wraps the scarf around his neck, wearing it with pride. sure, the design is not the best quality but even he can tell that pantalone put a lot of thought behind this. "it doesn't have to be perfect, dear. you made it for me and i will cherish it."
a hand rest on the banker's cheek, dottore leaning in close to capture pantalone's lips into a quick peck. at least pantalone felt a bit better, smiling into the kiss before pulling away. "you can make me more gifts, if you want."
"absolutely not, do you not see the state of my hands?"
"i can teach you, sweetheart." a sigh left his lips, pantalone can't refuse such a generous offer. he reached for his husband's hands, intertwining their fingers as he swings their arms side-to-side lightly. "then i will seize the opportunity, love. thank you." dottore hums, gently squeezing their joined hands.
"you're welcome. also, must you really move my arms around like this?"
"it's very necessary, just entertain me dearie." dottore rolled his eyes, letting out a chuckle as he let pantalone have his way. he was secretly looking forward to more handmade gifts from the banker. a heartfelt present from his husband is something he will cherish everyday, even if the craftmanship wasn't spectacular. it's the thought that counts.
note: pantalone lost his wedding ring and he's hunting it down.
pantalone was not normally this careless and yet he made a grave mistake. he couldn't find his wedding ring and he doesn't recall where it might be at. he searched almost every corner of his office, from the bookshelves to his desk. all he could find was overdue funding requests and handwritten formal letters from his subordinates. er.. perhaps this was an oversight on his part but he will worry about it later (he will probably forget).
pantalone immediately left his office, heading straight for one of the meeting rooms. his search resumed, willing to get on his knees and look underneath the wide table. he was growing desperate, that ring meant a lot to him. no other jewelry compares to what dottore gave him, it's beyond precious and pantalone hates that he lost it from his grasp.
searching this room was pointless, he finally rose back up on his feet in defeat. he already ask his coworkers and fellow fatui agents earlier regarding the whereabouts of his ring but no one has saw it. the last place he could think of was their private quarters, it was pantalone's last chance.
his footsteps rushed to the direction of their room, walking past all of the servants in a hurry. he ran upstairs to the bedroom, unknowingly slamming the door shut. that ring had to be somewhere, anywhere! pantalone look through the nighstands, the closet, the bed and even the crack of the floor titles. yet.. nothing came up, did he truly lose his beloved wedding ornament?
he never felt so guilty, he didn't have the heart to face dottore in his current state. pantalone slowly fell to his knees, burying his face and crossed arms into the sheets of the bed. he's out of options, this situation pains him so much and it was his own forgetfulness that caused this. more footsteps quietly entered the room, making pantalone lift his head up in shame.
regrettably, it was dottore and now that he's face-to-face with his husband, it only deepens his guilt further. "... are you alright? you're crying, feofan." huh? pantalone wipe the back of his hand across his face, he hadn't realized that he was getting emotional.
he sighs, a hint of exhaustion in his demeanour as pantalone finally stood up on his feet. "i'm not fine. i feel like an idiot." dottore steps closer, his hand resting on the banker's waist. he couldn't understand what caused pantalone to get so upset. "what happened? and don't try to hide it, you're a terrible liar."
of course, nothing escape dottore's watchful gaze. pantalone lowered his head, his vision gradully becoming more blurry with each tear that tried to fall. "i lost my wedding ring. i can't seem to locate it and the last thing i want is for you to be mad at me." the cat was out of the bag and he really felt awful.
dottore shook his head, letting out a sigh as he pulled out something from his coat pocket. he lifts the item in his hand, showing it to pantalone, who seem to be overjoyed and surprised. a silvery ring with an amethyst stone, that was his wedding ring!
"you had it the whole time and you never told me? i searched everywhere like a madman."
"it was stuck in one of your gloves. i found it while i was doing laundry"
"... oh." an awkward silence fills the bedroom and a blush immediately rises on pantalone's cheeks. this was beyond embarrassing. he groans, his hands coming up to hide his expression. he's starting to regret ever wearing gloves in the first place.
"it's not a big deal, feofan. you could have easily purchase another ring, if you wished."
"even if i could, i wouldn't. you made this ring specifically for me, with your own hands. i refuse to get another cheap copy to replace the original." there was a hint of fondness in his voice, memories of the day their wedding flooded in. a ring crafted by the doctor's skillful hands, so much love and thought was put into this creation. why would pantalone ever get rid of it?
regardless, he still felt bad for misplacing it, a situation like this won't occur again. "thank you for finding it, zandik. and.. sorry for losing it. it wasn't my intention." another sigh slips from dottore's lips, he wasn't even angry in the first place. he took his mask off temporarily, planting a soft peck on the banker's lips before pulling away and returning the mask to his face. "stop apologizing, it's fine. no harm was done. be more careful next time, kay?"
"i will keep that in mind, thank you.." pantalone wraps his arms around his husband, pressing his lips against the other man's cheek. "wait. hold out your hand, love."
"oh right, apologies." at least he can breathe a bit easier. pantlone lifts up his right hand, letting dottore slide the ring on his finger once more. he smiles teasingly, looking up at the doctor with an amused expression. "yes, yes i will marry you, zandik." dottore rolls his eyes, shaking his head once more as his hands came up to rest on the banker's waist.
"we are already married, no need for a second wedding."
"you are no fun, at least play along."
"i would rather not, thank you." pantalone huffs, looking away with a slight pout. but his feigned annoyance didn't last when dottore pulled him closer into his arms. "you're cute when you're pouting, love."
"... don't tease me right now. just kiss me." a pair of arms wrapped around dottore's neck, bringing him closer for a quick kiss on the lips. but that wasn't enough for the doctor, tilting his head to chase for a second kiss despite the awkwardness of his mask getting in the way.
although they don't need accessories to prove their devotion to each other, pantalone would still cherish this ring with all his heart because it was the greatest gift he has ever been given.
tags: fluff, comfort, brief mentions of exhaustion
note: gotta love dottore being soft for pantalone. everybody has a safe space and pantalone found one for himself.
"you make it seem like i'm intruding in your space."
"because you are, feofan." dottore was at his desk, intially writing down a record of his most recent experiments until pantalone had arrive into the laboratory. his elbow props up on the wooden surface, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand. "don't you have work to finish? i doubt being in here is hardly entertaining."
a familiar smile forms on pantalone's lips, leaning his weight against the desk. his fingers reached for a loose strand of the doctor's blue hair, twirling it around playfully. "i beg to differ, it's quite calming." the look on dottore's face screamed 'i don't believe you.' he has noticed a common pattern of pantalone seeking shelter in his laboratory whenever his workload became excessive.
it's not an issue for dottore, he didn't mind the other man's presence. but it did seem unusual in his eyes because pantalone is normally productive and prefers to be his office, so why the sudden change of heart? "it seems to me that you are avoiding your duties, dear." pantalone's smile almost fell, slightly faltering from the doctor's sudden accusation. seems like dottore struck gold, leaning forward on his desk to confront his husband.
"your silence is not helping your position."
"i was trying to gather my thoughts, not entertain your ego."
"that's not what i meant, feofan." a soft sigh escapes his lips, standing up from his desk. dottore came around to face pantalone directly but the other man was already avoiding his gaze. dottore wasn't trying to shame his husband but he realized that he came off as a bit harsh. "let me rephrase my words. why are you avoiding your work? did something happened?"
pantalone shook his head, some of his hidden exhaustion slipping through the cracks of his composed expression. "no, it's just.. work can be tiresome sometimes. i'm not perfect, i'm bound to grow tired of this repetitive pattern." his words grew softer, almost shy to admit that this laboratory had become his safe space for a while.
the lab served as a constant reminder of his husband's hellish endeavors and research. and yet, pantalone never felt frightened once. "i like being here, alright? i hope i'm not disturbing you." dottore chuckles, gently pulling pantalone into his arms. he decided to not tease the banker, given that the confession came from a genuine place of heart.
"not at all, you're allowed to stay. however, under one condition."
"huh? what could that be, zandik?" his smile widened, perhaps revealing a hidden agenda that pantalone wasn't aware about. but it was nothing to be concerned about. "at least kiss my cheek if you plan to enter this facility regularly." a huge breath of relief left pantalone's lips, making dottore raise a brow.
"thank goodness, i thought you were going to ask me to abandon my cigarettes."
"... i'm going to pretend that i didn't hear that." dottore resist the urge to not roll his eyes at his husband, a scowl forming on his face but it didn't last long when pantalone upheld his end of the deal, kissing the doctor's cheek. "i'm joking, darling. but i won't smoke in here, i promise."
"thank you, sweetheart." a pink flush creeps up on pantalone's cheeks, he's still not used to being called that. he looks away, lifting up a hand to cover his reddening face. dottore thought it was an adorable reaction from his husband, something that he wants to cherish for a long time.
dottore was already considering adding another desk into this vast space, just so pantalone has a reason to stay here more often. he would do anything to give his beloved banker a peace of mind and another place to call home.
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tags: slightly suggestive, implied references to sexual themes, slight crack, getting caught in the act
note: sandrone is so done with these two sometimes.
busy meetings were always insignficant. all of the harbingers have their own separate agendas and hardly tolerate each other's presence. thankfully, the dreadful conversation had finally concluded and most of them had left, with the exception of the second and ninth. they stayed behind to settle some 'unfinished business,' but in reality, they just wanted an excuse to get laid right here and now.
lips collide with each other, pantalone's back was pressed up against a nearby wall. he threw his arms over his husband's shoulders, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. it was messy, tongues sliding against one another and occassionally biting the banker's lower lip. once they part with shaky breaths, only a trail of saliva followed.
dottore dips his head, kissing up the other man's neck, his teeth gently tugging on the end of pantalone's ear. "you can be so needy, love. you truly couldn't wait until we head back to our room?" his tone was slightly mocking, pushing up a knee against the banker's clothed cock, earning a soft gasp from the man. "hah, you aren't any better. teasing me all day- ah!"
pantalone's snarky remark was cut short, feeling a hand palming his cock through the fabric of his pants. damn dottore, he was enjoying this too much. this hips grind against each other, painfully slow. a groan falling from their lips simultaneously. before they had a chance to peel off their clothes, hurried footsteps came back to the meeting room.
"pantalone! why did you reject my-" oh, fuck. sandrone's expression fell as her face slowly heated up at the unfortunate sight. the whole room went quiet, the tension becoming thick and awkward. pantalone, who couldn't face his coworker, buried his face into his husband's shoulder. out of all people, why did she had to be one to see them like this? this had to be humiliating.
"i'm.. kinda occupied right now, marionette. i will review the documents later."
"ugh, fine! get a fucking room, you two." sandrone marched out of the meeting room, her face was cherry red as she slams the door shut. a scowl forms on dottore's face, more annoyed about being interrupted than geting caught. the same can not be said for pantalone, who wishes to be swallow up whole by a primordial beast.
"bedroom now."
"why? the table is right there, feofan."
"we are not doing it in here, zandik!" safe to say, they been more careful since that faithful day and sandrone has definitely learned to knock before entering. not a single person brought up this incident again, some things are better left unspoken.
tags: angst, tw: explicit mentions of a mental breakdown & self-harm (proceed with caution please), hurt/comfort, crying, lots of hugging
note: this fic is 100% inspired from a reblog comment (yes, i saw it. hello & tysm, you're so kind♡). this one is a bit more sensitive, so please read with caution. another fic that hits close to home for me, i may or may not got teary-eyed while writing this.
human emotions are fragile, trapped in endless cycle of woes. for a certain doctor, he had long since abandoned any forms of this futile feelings. if he was shunned by society as a monster, then he shall be a monster. one particular night, his emotions begun to walk on a very thin line between reality and imbalance.
what caused this? perhaps it was the pent-up frustration and internalized hatred towards himself and his lack of perfection that finally exploded. after all, mirrors were windows to the soul and all he saw was a hideous, monstrous figure through the reflections of the glass beakers.
why, why can't he be perfect? why must every single experiment succeed on others but fail for himself? every step towards godhood felt so far and pointless, his fists clenching tightly as the nails dug deep into his palm. bits of blood were drawn, his vision becoming blurred with rage. he slams his hands against the desk repeatedly until cracks in the wood were visible.
his eyes lingered on the test tubes, finding another suitable target to take his anger out. one by one, piece by piece, dottore was going to destroy this laboratory until nothing is usable. his fist collide with multiple glass beakers, throwing them to the ground. he toss test tubes against the walls, more glass shattering against the hard surfaces.
experimental logs were ripped to shreds as he let out a violent scream. his mind was a intangible mess, rationality had long since cease from the moment. dottore didn't care if his precious research was ruined, as long as it's done by his own two hands.
the sounds of his violent outburst caught the attention of nearby subordinated, who were unfortunate enough to hear the situation unfold. the risk of entering the laboratory is extremely dire, somebody could truly face death by the doctor's hands. they remained silent, obedient to their positions as the noises grow louder and reckless.
they were fearful of their lives and yet helpless in this situation. quieter footsteps approach the terrifying scene, some of the fatui soldiers becoming a bit more at ease from the ninth's presence. "... how long has this been going on for?" pantalone waited for a response, most of them were hesitant to give him the truth.
one of the subordinates spoke up, their voice trembling from sheer terror. "f-for a while, lord regrator. he banned anyone f-from entering.." and this is restriction was strict, not a single person was allowed entry, not even pantalone himself. he hates feeling helpless while his husband was clearly tearing himself apart.
"very well, you are all dismissed. i will handle it from here." just like that, scattered footsteps ran away from their positions, finally seeking relief somewhere else. pantalone sighs, standing outside of the door patiently. it's not wise to enter while dottore was in this state, the risk of injury was exceededly high. all he can do is.. wait, even if it pained him so much.
the sounds of guttural screams filled the laboratory, the doctor inside was pulling at his hair tightly, ripping out a few chunks. his hands were beyond scarred from glass impaling into his skin. why must he suffer and writhe in pain? why him, why it is always him? why, why, why-!
what felt like an eternity, the sounds of distress finally came a complete halt. hesitantly, pantalone pushed the doors open and proceed with caution. he was careful to avoid stepping on broken glass shards, his heels walking towards his husband slowly. it was a devastating sight, dottore kneeling with his face towards the ground, bloody fists painted the white floor titles red.
he finally found the strength to rise himself up, turning his head in the direction of a familiar face. pantalone.. he truly was the only one who understood him. why does it seem so easy and comfortable to just crumble in the banker's presence? why.. why does he deserve this? such gentle eyes looking at him with love, not pity.
dottore couldn't get any words out, slowly falling to his knees once more against the hazardous ground. only the sight of a defeated man greeted pantalone, hearing the faint sounds of sobs threatening to slip out further.
pantalone sighs, finally taking a step closer to his husband and kneeling to his level. his arms wrap around the other man gently, pulling dottore into his arms. pantalone decided it wasn't an appropriate time to speak, only holding his husband who wept and cry like his life depended on it. a gentle hand caressed dottore's back in a circular pattern, pressing a soft kiss on his temple. it was just them and no one else was here to interrupt them.
pantalone pulls back enough to see his husband's face. his fingers lingered on the mask, seeking silent permission but once dottore shook his head, he understood that it's not the right time. pantalone nods, moving his hands to cup his cheeks instead, lightly brushing the back of his hand against dottore's wet cheek. ".. you don't have to talk to me. you don't have to explain yourself. just let me take care of you, please. i love you so much."
he waits patiently until dottore nodded, a smile tugging his face. pantalone gently helps his husband stand up, a hand supporting the doctor's back as they walk out of the ruined laboratory. each step carried them to their shared quarters, heading inside to treat dottore's injuries. he guides dottore to sit down on the bed while he goes retrieve a first aid kit from the bathroom.
once he came back with the supplies, pantalone sat down next to him and took his hands into his own. his expression soften, the injury in to the doctor's hands was much worse than expected. but with a pair of tweezer, pantalone carefully pluck out each individual shard, from the knuckles to the palms.
it was a bit concerning that dottore wasn't reacting to the pain, but knowing him, pantalone can only assume that this isn't new to the other man. he tends to the open wounds gently, trying not to sting his husband with the wipes. bandages begun to wrap around both of dottore's hands, finally reaching the end of his small treatment.
pantalone return the supplies back into the red box, putting it aside on the nightstand for now. before he had a chance to turn around fully, he already felt dottore leaning against him softly. today was exhausting and right now, dottores just wants to be near his husband and his calming presence.
his wish was granted when pantalone pulls him back into another hug, listening to faint drumming of the banker's heartbeat. his hands weakly grip the back of pantalone's shirt, returning the hug in silence. they sat their for a while, hugging each other in the quiet comfort of their bedroom.
dottore may never admit it openly but he always appreciate the way pantalone takes care of him after his episodes. because he finally found someone who treated him differently, not as a monster, not as vile scientist, not as il dottore. but rather as zandik, as a human being. it's okay to break, someone is there to catch up the pieces of your heart and that person was pantalone.
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, miscommunciation, arguments, tw: mentions of character death, reconciliation, hugs
note: think of this as a continuation/sequel to my very first post about pantalone's fear toward death.
neither of them were great with communciation, it was difficult to find a common ground when they were equally prideful and stubborn. one night got very heated, disputes over life and death were incredibly sensitive to the banker. pantalone didn't mind if he was living on borrowed time, but the last thing he would want to experience is dottore dying again.
it's unsettling to witness the original zandik's body lying lifeless on the operating table. it was heartwrenching to hear the painful cries of each and every one of his segments disappear after a risky agreement for the gnosis. and now dottore plans to head towards nod krai for another grand experiment? that happened to be pantalone's last straw, he could only tolerate so much of the doctor's selfish experiments.
that's what caused their argument, only shouts can be heard that night before pantalone finally marched out of their quarters, the palm of his hand furiously rubbing against his reddened eyes. since that night, neither of them were on good terms and opted for a silent treatment.
they been like this for about three weeks, carrying out business as normal despite the lack of communciation. pantalone was at his desk, leaning back in his chair as a ring of smoke escapes his lips and floats into the air, putting out the used cigarette in the ashtray. he was out of focus today, not feeling motivated enough to continue working in his current state. and frankly, he didn't care.
perhaps it was petty of him to start an argument with dottore, knowing that the chances of convincing him to abandon the trip to nod krai was futile. was it so wrong of him to be worried, no, scared for his husband's safety? all pantalone could think about was the worst case scenarios, only worsening his mood.
he was about to reach for another cigarette until a knock on the door was heard. "you may enter, it's open." his eyes twitched at the sight of dottore but pantalone kept his composure. he sighs, maybe this was another formal request for funding, so he had to at least be professional.
"i already approved the proposal. if you need more funding, then send-"
"that's not what i am here for and you know that."
the banker's lips pressed a firm line, trying not to lose his temper. his fingers rubbed the bridge of his nose, pushing up his glasses. pantalone really wasn't in the mood for another petty argument. "if you only came here to make me upset, then leave. i have other matters to attend to." he didn't want to admit openly that their argument did take a slight toll on his well-being.
the moment pantalone lift his head, his eyes widened at the sight of a bouquet of glaze lilies in dottore's hands. was he hiding it behind his back the whole time? it probably went unnoticed. dottore comes around the desk, setting the gift down on his husband's work desk. "reconciliation is not my speciality and i don't know how to comfort people. but seeing you cry that day made me realize that i might have been a bit selfish."
a rare sight to see a fatui harbinger getting down on one knee, calloused hands wrapped around pantalone's much softer ones. "my plans in nod krai are finalized, i know that won't soothe your worries. but.. all i can do is ensure that i will come back in one piece. i apologize for making you upset, feofan."
a genuine apology from dottore was just as rare, something that made pantalone bit his trembling lip. he was still frustrated and yet.. he couldn't deny that he missed his husband's presence. he buried his face into his hands, trying to fight the tremors in his shoulders.
"... if you are so hellbent on going to nod krai, then i will support you. use me for your grand experiment, just d-don't.." pantalone despises how his throat suddenly tightened, any words fell quiet as he tries to suppress a sob. so when dottore stood up to pull him into an embrace, it's not surprising that the banker finally crumble.
he definitely needed a hug. dottore remain quiet, rubbing his husband's back as the other man weep into his chest. pantalone withdraws, just enough to brush the sleeve of his arm over his teary eyes. "don't die on me. not again, not ever. the thought of losing you is too much to bear." his vision was blurred and his glasses were wet from tears. dottore reached for a box of tissues, lifting up the banker's lens enough to catch any tears that continue to fall.
"i know, dear. i'll try to come back. as for your involvement in nod krai, we can discuss our collaboration another day before i depart." a sigh left his lips before pressing a kiss to pantalone's cheek, not minding how wet they were. "i'm sorry, love. please don't cry." pantalone sniffles, a bit embarrased about getting all emotional. he leans forward, resting his head on dottore's shoulder.
"you're lucky that i love you too much. and.. i apologize too, for getting in your way." dottore only hums, his hands gently squeezing on the other man's waist. they both fucked up and it blew up to unnecessary degrees of miscommunciation. but they finally made up, even if it took them so long to admit their wrongdoings.
"it's fine. you were worried about me." he reaches for the bouquet on the desk, taking out a glaze lily and sliding it through pantalone's violet hair. lips tugged upwards into a smile, chuckling at the banker's bashful expression. dottore would have teased him but not today, he will just cherish the sight.
"you are.. cheeky, zandik. i didn't think blue was my color."
"well it is now and always have been since the moment you married me." a laugh blooms from pantalone, finally smiling after weeks of mental exhaustion and separation. he can't change his husband's mind but at least they can stand together in face of hardships, hand in hand. until death do them apart.
hi, it's about time i came on here to say thank you. genuinely, thank you to anybody who reads my works. honestly, i was nervous about posting because people can be cruel online sometimes and i have experienced it firsthand before (e.g., doxxing, harassment) (hence why the comments/inbox & direct dms are disabled). but i do see the reblogs and likes, and im just overwhelmed with so many emotions. so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
as a friendly reminder, this blog will always be a safe space. however, please do NOT hesitate to give me genuine constructive criticism. i do see the reblog comments and if i do anything offensive by accident, i will correct it immediately. please do call me out, educate me. i don't mind at all. the last thing i want is for people to feel uncomfortable with my writing. this will definitely be added into my rules later on.
as for other ships, i am still undecided. i thought about ashveil and blade but i would have to learn more about them from their character stories. but for right now, i'm not confident in my abilities to write about them.
for now, the blog will remain as it is. just endless rambles of random ideas that pop in my head. that's all, thank you so much. and i appreciate anybody who stops by and reads. i hope i can be a little safe space for you on the internet.
(fyi: if you do see any grammatical errors in my past or current works, those are genuine mistakes. dyslexia can be very annoying sometimes to deal with and i'm constantly proof-reading my own writing at random times at night. sorry😔)
tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, brief misunderstandings, crying, family dynamics, hugs/kisses
note: a bit nervous about posting this one. might be ooc, proceed with caution. hopefully this fic healed anybody's inner child. thea is about 5?
it was unbelievable to find his work station in complete chaos. glass shards scattered across the floor titles, liquids of unknown potions were leaking on the marble countertop. dottore was bewildered, who could have possibly destroyed months of his research and experiments?
his jaw clenched, his lips pressed into a firm line. could it have been one of his segments? no, why would they be this careless, especially without a proper reason? could it have been the work of a subordinate gone rouge? that only seems like the most reasonable conclusion.
regardless, this angered him deeply to his core. he heard footsteps approaching him closer, turning around with a hardened expression. the tension was incredibly thick, his tone lowering at a dangerous level. at this rate, no one will be spared from his wrath. "if you are here to provoke me, i highly suggest that you leave now, pantalone. i'm currently occupied with other matters."
pantalone sighs, his eyes darting over to the chemical mess in the corner. frankly, he was clueless too in this mystery. who could have ruined his husband's experimental notes and test tubes? "calm down, i heard about the commotion earlier and i came here to check. are you injured, love?"
"my well-being is the least of my priorities right now." dottore's tone came off as harsh, his hand tightening into a fist. he was incredibly irritable, like a ticking time bomb ready to detonate. "i'm launching an investigation. someone better start pleading for their life because this is beyond despicable."
the other man reached his hand out to intertwine, hoping to give dottore some comfort although it seem meaningless. "think rationally, dottore. don't jump straight to risky endeavors"
"i am quite rational, banker"
"you're about to send someone to an early grave." pantalone argues, his eyes narrowing at his husband. "at least wait until we find enough evidence to tie it back to the culprit." a near-growl escapes dottore's lips before reluctantly agreeing, withdrawing his hand from pantalone and marching over to his ruined work station. "fine, we'll do it your way. this shit is so frustrating."
comfort and reassurance seem pointless, all pantalone can do is assist his husband with the investigation. more footsteps could be heard, making the banker turn his head in the other direction. he walks over to the door, noticing their daughter hiding behind the wall.
"thea, princess. why are you here? you should be in your room." he kneels down, extending his arms to her. there was definitely something wrong, she look so guilty and frightened. thea couldn't even look at him in the eyes, her bottom lip trembling. "i-i'm sorry, baba." pantalone raised a brow, gently lifting up the toddler in his arms and walking back to dottore.
"why are you apologizing, thea?" she fell quiet, burying her teary face into his shoulders as her hands clutch his coat tightly. dottore turns around, walking over to his husband and daughter. he tries to soften his expression, his arms crossing over his chest. "what's wrong with her?"
"would it kill you to be nicer right now?"
"it was unintentional, pantalone. i can't help that." pantalone rolls his eyes at dottore before returning his attention to their daughter. he brush her head lightly, trying to encourage thea to look up but she was so scared and upset. "look at me, please. what happened, are you hurt?" his hand wiped a few tears away from her face, taking hold of her chin and lifting it up.
thea crumbles, sobbing in her father's arms as she wails loudly. "i-i ruined papa's lab but i didn't mean to! i wanted to see the cool cups.. but, but everything fell down and broke! im so, so sorry..." oh, at least they found the culprit to this mess but not in the best way possible. her endless curiosity is both endearing and troublesome sometimes.
"it's okay, calm down. take deep breaths, thea." pantalone rubs her back, gently kissing her temple as she weeps. his eyes lingered on dottore's expression, it was hard to decipher his husband's emotions. it didn't help that thea was beyond frightened to face her other father, knowing how bad his temper can get.
this situation was truly unfortunate, enough to give pantalone a headache for days. he could really go for a cigarette right now. a deep sigh escapes the doctor's lips, taking a step closer to his family. in a quiet gesture, dottore opens his arms and pantalone silently understood his intentions, gently passing thea over to him.
she went stiff, expecting a harsh scolding but it never came. instead, all she felt was his hand cupping her cheek, a thumb brushing her tears away. "thea, look at me. i'm not mad, at least not anymore." she hesitated, her hands shaking but she comply, lifting up her head.
dottore sighs, removing his mask from his face and setting it down nearby. he pressed a soft peck on her forehead, his crimson irises looking down to meet her violet ones. "why didn't you tell us earlier?" she sniffles, another round of tears threatening to slip again as she came clean. "because papa would hate me..."
"i don't hate you and that won't happen. i just wished you were honest instead of trying to hide it from us." he tries his best to comfort his daughter, letting thea cry into his chest. truth be told, dottore was still furious but there's no point in taking his anger out on a child who had no ill-intentions. the last thing he wants is to make his daughter afraid of him.
"i'm so sorry, papa. i'm sorry.."
"i know you are. i forgive you, it's okay baby" their little reconciliation warmed pantalone's heart, a fond smile blooming on his lips. he chuckles, resting a hand on thea's head, kissing her forehead. "all is forgiven, princess. at least we won't need an investigation anymore." dottore groans, rolling his eyes at his husband's playful remark. "zip it. cease your teasing, feofan. i'm not in the mood."
although his words lacked venom, he was more focused on their daughter's well-being. she's just as clingy as pantalone, burying her face into dottore's shoulder. despite everything, she was still daddy's little girl.
"is baba and papa fighting again?"
"no, your father is just grumpy with everyone" he really does enjoy getting on dottore's nerves. pantalone ignored the scowl on his husband's expression, leaning forward to peck the doctor's rosy cheeks. "as for the lab.. do you need help cleaning it up?" dottore shook his head, adjusting his hold on thea. "it's fine, my segments can take responsibility for that. i'll worry about it another day."
he really needs add more child safety locks in his work station, he would rather not suffer another repeat of this situation again. all of them walked out of the room, thea clinging to her father's coat. she lifts her head up, noticing that dottore left behind his mask in the lab but he couldn't care less. dottore saw her staring at his scarred face, a gentle smile tugging his lips. a peck landed on her forehead, making thea giggle as her little hands cup his cheeks.
in his peripheral vision, pantalone saw how they were getting along but he made no effort to interrupt the moment, not this time. fondness spread across his face, their daughter was the light of their life, even if she was troublesome sometimes. frightening reptuation as harbringers and yet weak for their child, parenthood really brought out the best in them.
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note: save a horse, ride a cowboy? hopefully this one is okay, enjoy the show.
there was nothing entertaining to do while being alone. by the tsaritsa's orders, dottore left about a few weeks ago to investigate a matter in sumeru once more. he promised to return by the end of the month and yet, pantalone still hasn't received any updates on his whereabouts.
he hates to admit it but he has grown accustomed to his husband's presence, to the extent that dottore being gone for mere weeks felt like an eternity. his mind wanders elsewhere, thinking about the nights where they would lose themselves into lust and pleasure.
pantalone groans in frustration, sitting up in bed as he stares down at his clothed tent. perhaps he was pent-up, it's been a while since they were active and he couldn't wait any longer. his fingers grip the waistband of his trousers and pants, pushing it off his body and tossing the clothing onto the floor. he can always retrieve it later, not important right now.
pantalone reached for a small vial of lubricant from the nightstand, popping the cap open and slicking his fingers with the cooling gel. thankfully the bedroom door was closed and there were no servants nearby to disturb him. his legs spread open, guiding two fingers down to where his hole was. at first, he circle the sensitive rim, hissing from the cool touch of the lube against his ass.
slowly, he dips his fingers into the velvet heat, an involuntary whimper left his lips. this was embarrassing, he can't remember the last time he fingered himself but he just needed a quick relief. pantalone started off slow, scissoring himself open as he tries to find his prostate.
all he can think about was his husband, how dottore would play and tug with his nipples until the buds were swollen and covered in bite marks. how the doctor's skillful hands would hit curl just right to hit the bundle of nerves precisely. how his husband's girthy cock would pummel his sensitive hole until he's crying out for more.
"f-fuck, zandik.." his back arch into a bow, pretty noises spilling from his lips. his other hand pushing up the hem of his sweater, his fingers playing with his chest, pinching and rolling the bud until he was whimpering. he was slightly frustrated, he couldn't come so easily because his fingers can't reach that far to stimulate his prostate. he grits his teeth, he was so desperate for a release, his cock aching on his abdomen.
"zandik, ah! miss you, so f-fucking much..." the rhythm was sloppy and rushed as tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. he really wished his husband was here, just to hold him and take him apart so beautifully. his pitch grew higher, thinking he was so close to an orgasm until pantalone heard the door slamming open.
he quickly yanked the slicked digits out of his ass, his hole clenching around nothing. pantalone threw the blanket over his nude lower half, ready to reprimand whichever servant that dared to interrupt him. his heart nearly sanked, his face reddening from sheer embarrassment as he realized that dottore was the one of entered abruptly "hm, so this is how i am welcomed back? not what i was expecting but it's still acceptable"
"you- first of all, why didn't you knock? and second of all, where the hell have you been?" pantalone tries to swallow down his shame, his grip hardening on the bedsheets. "what type of husband doesn't send a letter back in weeks? and now you show up randomly at an ungodly hour of the night?"
"you didn't seem to mind earlier when you were calling out my name, pleasuring yourself"
"that's not the fucking point- ignore what you just saw" pantalone groans, burying his reddening face into his hands. if his glasses were on his nose right now, he probably would have snapped it out of frustration. a deep sigh left his lips, dragging his hands down to his lap, looking up at dottore with an exhausted glare. "you were gone for nearly a month. perhaps i was just worried.. that you might have got injuried on your mission."
now he feels pathetic, admitting his worries and loneliness to dottore. pantalone wouldn't be surprised if the doctor seize another opportunity to relentlessly tease him to hell. dottore walks closer to the bed, shrugging off his winter coat and removing the mask from his face. he could care less where he tossed his belongings to, deciding to take a seat on the bed.
his hand brush a few strands of violet tufts behind pantalone's ear, leaning over to kiss the banker's cheek. "i got caught up with my experiments in sumeru and i forgot to send a written reply back. apologies for making you worry, dear." pantalone huffs, at least he's not as upset as he originally was. he returns the gesture, pecking dottore's cheek with a smile. "fine, apology accepted. at least you've returned back to me."
"and i can help with your little problem, hm?" his eyes widening, pantalone's last barrier of protection flew off his body, his husband pouncing on him with hunger and lust in his crimson irises. lips found their way to his neck, pushing the turtleneck down further to kiss and suck on the skin.
pantalone bit his lower lip, his hands gripping dottore's shoulders tightly. a choked gasp escapes, feeling the doctor's hand palming his hardened cock. "couldn't come without my help, am i right dear? tell me what do you need, my hands or my cock?" his response was cut short when two digits slipped back into his already-loosen entrance, curling up to finally hit his prostrate.
damn it, dottore was doing this on purpose. haziness clouds pantalone's judgment, his legs spreading wider as dottore added a third finger, rocking his hand lazily into his rim. pantalone was certaintly not in a teasing mood but right now, he just wants to fuck so badly.
"ngh-! fuck, i want you. your cock, just put it in. it's been, ah, too long." he didn't have to time to savor ecstasy when dottore pulls his fingers out of him, his body shuddering in response. his eyes lingered on his husband's form, dottore throwing off his shirt from his body and discarding it aside. he helps pantalone out of that pesky turtleneck, careful to not rip the expensive fabric unless he wished to pay for it.
"i like this look on you, feofan. so submissive and needy for me"
"in your dreams. now please fuck me already." dottore resist the urge to roll his eyes at the banker, already unzipping his pants. pantalone can be so bratty sometimes, as if he's not the one doing most of the work. he pulls his pants down, just enough to free his thick length from its constraints.
the doctor had a different idea in mind, his hands pulling pantalone up and placing him into his lap. not tonight, he doesn't get the pillow princess treatment. "zandik, don't you dare. i know what you are trying to do" dottore only hums, ignoring pantalone's complaint as he lowers his husband down onto his cock, shutting him up almost immediately.
a smirk forms on his lips, he didn't even wait until pantalone had adjusted. his hips started thrusting upwards, his hands holding onto the banker's waist tightly, enough to leave behind bruises. "music to my ears. i like it better when you are, ah, screaming my name." pantalone couldn't even catch his breath, it felt as if the air in his lung was knocked out.
his hands clinged to dottore's back, scratching the scarred skin as his cries fills up the room. he could feel every vein and ridge on the doctor's cock, each thrust hitting his prostrate perfectly. pantalone tries to time his bounces with his husband's relentless rhythm, his legs growing weak and sore from lifting himself up and down repeatedly. he will complain later but for now, he wants nothing more than to come already.
"shit, ah-! z-zandik, i'm gonna-"
"come for me, sweetheart. let me hear you." dottore wrapped one hand around his husband's length, stroking it simulatenously with each sharp thrust. that was enough to send pantalone over the edge, letting out a beautiful cry as his release paints his stomach and the doctor's hand white.
dottore came afterwards with a groan, spilling deep inside of the banker. out of breath and sweaty, they definitely needed this. a weak hand came up to smack dottore's chest, pantalone glaring at him with rosy cheeks and a hazy expression. "damn you, you know i hate this position."
"weren't you the one begging for my cock earlier? i don't want to hear it, princess." a vein throbs on his head, pantalone was closed to strangling someone but he was too exhausted and sore. he barely concealed a whimper when dottore finally pulls out, being guided to rest on his side.
dottore grabs a towel nearby, cleaning up the mess they made on their bodies before eventually discarding the soiled cloth into a laundry basket. it eventually became quiet, neither of them spoke a word for a while until pantalone spoke up. "...when is your next mission?" dottore turns around, holding a fresh pair of clothes in his arms as he returns back to their bed. "not anytime soon. don't worry, i'm staying for a while."
dottore helps pantalone into thd nightwear, letting his husband wear one of his spare shirt and pants. "are you sore, feofan?" pantalone shook his head, fixing up the collar of his shirt before leaning over to kiss his husband's cheek. "a little bit but i'll survive. hold me for tonight, hm?"
the other man rolls his eyes, already getting comfortable under the sheets. "aren't you greedy? come here, let's rest." he opens his arms, encouraging pantalone to come closer as he wrap his arms around his husband. they cuddle for the night, slumber overtaking their consciousness. at least pantalone's wishes were fulfilled, the night no longer felt lonely anymore.
tags: minor angst, misunderstandings, mentions of trust issues & boundaries, comfort, fluff, slight humor towards the end
what an exhausting day for pantalone. his migraine had worsen throughout the hours, deeply annoyed because of his busy schedule. work meetings that he could care less to attend and piles of unfinished paperworks that he had yet to do. his heavy footsteps dragged across the floor titles of the hallway, his shoulders slumped and eyebags were becoming more visible on his face.
perhaps it wouldn't hurt to unwind from a stressful day. however, his steps came to a sudden halt, realizing that dottore was probably in the middle of another experiment. is it bad that he finds comfort in his husband's presence? sure, the doctor's experiments were rather questionable and perhaps even insane. but being around dottore was soothing, even if they playfully bicker and provoke each other.
a deep sigh left pantalone's lips, continuing to walk in the direction of his husband's laboratory. once there, he slowly pushed the door open and step inside, his eyes searching for the doctor's presence. it was unusually quiet and eerie in here, dottore was nowhere to be seen. perhaps he's not here? pantalone decided to look around, his eyes landing on a notebook.
much to his curiosity, he lifts the notebook into his grasp and checked some of the pages. pantalone was expecting experimental logs and scientific observations but not a personal diary? since when did his husband kept something like this in his possession?
he wasn't interested initially until he saw his own name written in one of the journal entries. it was morally wrong to read his husband's diary but his curiosity got the better of him. pantalone goes through a couple of pages, taking the time to read some of the sections that stood out to him the most.
section 004: 'he's excellent at getting on my nerves. when will he cease his smoking habits? tsk, better be grateful that such a skilled scientist as myself is willing to replace his lungs. surgery will be proceed shortly in less than 12 system hours. i hope he survives'
section 036: 'once again, feofan has overworked himself to extreme limits. he reported symptoms of nausea, light sensitivity and muscle tension in face. i wish he would take care of himself sometimes ugh, why must he be so careless with his health? i will prescribe him stronger pain mediciation and herbal treatment.
section 081: 'which term of endearment would suit feofan? i hardly see the importance of this but, perhaps i can indulge once. love, dearest, beautiful, sweetheart? disregard this entry completely, it's pointless.
pantalone chuckles, it was amusing to see a lot of crossed-out thoughts on the pages. dottore would rather die than openly admit that he cared about the banker, prioritizing his reptuation as a harbinger. honestly, pamtalone never had someone show him so much affection before. their relationship in the beginning was mainly transactional and yet, it grew into something more that he wishes to cherish for a long time.
he was about to read a couple more pages until footsteps came dangerously closer, heels clicking against the floor. before pantalone knew it, the diary was quickly yanked out of his hold. he turns arounds, only to be greeted by a furious husband.
"what are you doing in my lab and why are you spying through my belongings? i suggest you be careful with your wording, i'm not feeling charitable today."
ah, shit. a few sweat droplets forms on his forehead as pantalone turns his head away, trying to avoid eye-contact. frankly, he couldn't come up with a plausible excuse to justify his actions and dottore staring him down wasn't making this situation any easier.
"oh my, i thought this was my office. perhaps my vision is still poor."
"your office is nowhere near close to my laboratory and even if your vision is lacking, you can still see the damn sign on the front door that explicitly states: "Do Not Enter."
fuck. pantalone sighs, he's not escaping this situation, especially when he got caught red-handed. he would have continue to deny it, just for mere entertainment, but dottore is known for his short temper and he rather not start an argument while he's battling an migraine.
"alright, fine. i originally came here looking for you but you weren't present. and my curiosity got the better of me. there, sastified?" dottore scoffs, his expression was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief as he crossed his arms infront of pantalone. "were you that desperate to seek my attention that you would pry into my personal belongings? do you not have any shame, pantalone?"
a rise of guilt builds in pantalone's chest, lowering his head a bit. both of them fell silent, an uncomfortable tension fills the space. at first, he treated this as harmless teasing but his mind temporarily forgot about the boundaries they established. trust is the highest honor that dottore could grant to someone and pantalone managed to break that. he realized how insensitive his actions were, given that this diary must have meant a lot to his husband.
he steps closer, his hand gently tugging on dottore's shirt as pantalone lifts his head, just to meet their eyes earnestly. "... apologies, i shouldn't have done that. i just thought that it was endearing that you cared so much about me. but, i should have left the diary alone."
frankly, neither of them were comfortable with apologizing, it was awkward swallowing their pride whenever one of them was in the wrong. dottore still seem frustrated but less tensed? it was difficult to tell when his mask perfectly concealed his facial expressions.
"you're lucky that i tolerate you or else the consequences would have been dire." the smile on pantalone's lips was hardly genuine, his tone was teasing as he tries to lighten the mood, although his own wording stings his heart."the most you can do is threatened me with divorce papers. grown tired of me already, dottore?"
it was meant to be taken as a humorous, but he couldn't lie that the thought of separation had pantalone feeling a bit self-conscious. ah, the silent tension returns, this felt incredibly suffocating. pantalone turns on his heels, he would rather just leave before he upsets dottore more. his head was still pounding from an endless day of work and responsibilities.
footsteps caught up to him before pantalone had a chance to reach the exit doors. dottore's hand reaching for the banker's wrist, pulling pantalone into his arms. huh? this was unexpected. pantalone hesitated before finally returning the hug, leaning his head against his husband's chest.
"... i'm sorry, zandik."
"i know you are. don't do it again." pantalone nodded, he tries to pull away from the embrace but dottore only tightens his hold, not letting him escape. "and stop trying to leave. yes, i'm mad at you but if you came here seeking my attention, then might as well let me hold you. you look like a disaster."
a dry chuckle left his lips, pantalone couldn't deny that. he was tired, he hasn't slept properly in a while. along with the remore he felt after intruding in dottore's space, it only worsen his exhaustion. "i already overstayed my welcome, love. and.." please don't look at me like that, as if you are only pitying me.
pantalone couldn't bring himself to say that aloud, his eyes averting in another direction. he shook his head, his trademark smile returning to his lips but he wasn't fooling anyone. dottore didn't soften his expression but his hand cupped his husband's cheek, making pantalone face him directly.
"perish the thought immediately if you think i'm going to divorce you for something as trivial as this." ah, of course. dottore was far too perceptive. now pantalone feels embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red from the accusation. dottore decided to finally discard his mask from his face and set it aside on a nearby table. surprisingly, his expression didn't seem as upset as pantalone initially thought.
"you should be smarter than this. if you read anything in that.. notebook of mine, then you should be aware of my feelings towards you. i'm not leaving you, feofan. so stop overthinking, it's annoying me." for the first time today, pantalone felt relieved. it still didn't cure his exhaustion or lingering guilt, but he will cherish the kind words.
"you wound me, doctor. i already suffered enough shame for one day."
"i'm only stating the obvious facts. now come here and hug me, sweetheart." the banker's smile widens, this time, he finally let him fall in dottore's arms. if anything, pantalone felt rather bashful when dottore kissed his forehead. "i'm still mad at you." pantalone hums, his hands gripping on the back of his husband's shirt. "i know, i won't do it again. i apologize for breaking your trust."
"it will take a lot more than this to sever the bond we have. now explain why were you looking for me earlier?" fuck, he still hasn't let that go yet? much to his distaste, his own cheeks started to match the red color of his ears, this was beyond humiliating for pantalone. "... i just wanted a hug okay? is it so wrong of me to seek out my husband after a shitty day? then all of this happened and i felt fucking bad. at this point, i'm starting to believe you enjoy watching me grovel."
a laugh blooms from dottore, which only made pantalone frustrated. he fought back the urge to roll his eyes at the doctor, his poor pride has taken way too many blows today. "that was it, a simple hug? who knew my dear banker is so weak for me?"
"keep talking and i'm cutting your funding again."
"you are only threatening me because you're embarrassed by your own sins, feofan." is it possible to bury oneself and how much would it cost? because pantalone hates how he's being teased endlessly by his husband. he groans, muttering curses under his breath as his hands came up to hide his face, which has became bright red as a cherry.
dottore's laughter slowly ceases to a light chuckle, hugging pantalone tighter and peppering kisses on his cheek. "i have already apologized and admitted fault. would you please shut up?"
"mhm, i'll think about it. it's a nice change of pace, watching you get all shy around me"
"zandik!" dottore was definitely enjoying this beautiful show, consider it as his little revenge since pantalone had the audacity to stick his nose into his private business. he continue to seize the opportunity to tease his already-flustered banker, the initial tension in the laboratory was replaced by a warm atmosphere of lighthearted humor and kisses.
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bonus part!
section 115: 'although he can be irritating sometimes, i can confidently say that i married the right person. who knew pantalone was capable of being bashful? provoking him was a wise move. although, he has been complaing all day about his headache growing to be cumbersome for his liking. i will prescribe another round of painkillers for him but medicine is ineffective if he doesn't correct his irregular sleep schedule. note to self: do not forgot to relocate the notebook somewhere more secured, perhaps in a vault. i love him so much. my feofan.
