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“I know it sucks that Artti is injured but you still have us.” Benjamin sat down next to his teammate und one of his closest friends who was currently pounding on their shared hotel bed. They were in Willingen. One of the best world cups in Benjamins opinion. Amazing atmosphere, great hill. What can one want more?

Apparently, that didn’t apply to his friend Sunny who has been running around the hill like he was on the way to prison. The thing was that Benji got it. Sunny’s boyfriend Artti was injured, and they haven’t had a chance to see each other much in the last month. The bad mood was understandable, but Benjamin still didn’t like seeing him that sad.

Sunny put his head on Benji´s shoulder and sighed. “Sorry, I know I haven’t been great company lately.”

Benjamin wrapped an arm around his teammates shoulder and pulled him closer. “Don’t be sorry, just tell me how I can help.” He couldn’t help himself and moved his thumb in tiny soothing motions over his shoulder. Barely stopping himself when he felt the urge to lay his head on top of Sunnys head.

“Oh, you are doing enough. I can’t ask for more.” It didn’t feel like enough, but he was running out of ideas. Sunny moved his head from Benji´s shoulder and turned to look him in the eyes. “Really Benny, you kept me sane.”

“If you say so.”

The ringing of one their phones interrupted them. The dinner alarm they set up after the first time they missed it because they spent too long talking about nothing at all.

Benjamin was the first one to stand, extending his hand to Sunny. “Maybe a little food will cheer you up.”

“Do we think we can smuggle a glass of wine past Rune?”, Sunny spoke when he took Benji´s hand.

He couldn’t help the cheeky grin that appeared on his face. “Us two? We can do anything together.”

The thing is Benjamin was pretty aware of the fact that he was in love with his best friend. It was not hard to figure out. The jealousy when the other one first got with Artti was very telling. He didn’t know when his feelings evolved into something deeper than friendship. Maybe it was always like that, maybe it was gradually. The only thing that matter was that he felt that way and that he realized it too late. He can’t even blame Sunny for falling for Artti because the Estonian was great. They fit together like puzzle pieces. If he could match two people together, he would’ve chosen them because they were perfect for each other. Even if it hurt himself. So, while Benji was aware that he was in love with Sunny, he was content in the best friend role he was playing. It meant that he could still have him in a way. Not that it was enough but how could he ask for more. It meant that he gained another best friend with Artti because ever since Artti and Sunny got together, Artti and him became close too.

When they got back to their hotel room after dinner, they really got a glass of wine to their meal, Sunny already pulled out his phone and called his boyfriend. “I give you a moment.”, Benji said before Artti even picked up and walked towards the bathroom. He wanted to shower anyways.

“You know you don’t have to.” Kristoffer said before Artti picked up the phone.

Benjamin nodded but still disappeared in the bathroom. He gave himself a moment and rested his head on the bathroom door. Would that be the rest of his life? For a tiny second, he let the thought, that he tried to fight ever since he realized he had fallen for his best friend, in his head. How things were right now, that wasn’t and would never be enough.  

“You have approximately thirty seconds before the first jump.”, Artti announced from the couch.

“Not helping. I am going as fast as I can.”, Benjamin replied. Artti could hear some cluttering in Benji´s kitchen, and he couldn’t help but winces. Maybe he shouldn’t have insistent on popcorn.

Just as the first jumper made his way down the hill, Benjamin appeared with a bowl in his hands. The smell of fresh sweet popcorn filled the room. A bright grin appeared on Artti`s face. “What did I do to deserve you?”, he said when the Norwegian handed him the bowl.

Benji let him self fall next to Artti and grabbed a handful of popcorn while watching the TV. “You are lucky, you are injured. Next time you can do it yourself.”

They both know that Artti could’ve made the popcorn. His body still hurt from time to time, but he was cleared to jump and would fly to Italy in a few days. Standing a few minutes in the kitchen waiting for the microwave was doable.

“Have you packed already?”, Benjamin asked when the last woman of the first group was down. Until then they were quiet. It wasn’t unpleasant. Quiet with Benjamin was surprisingly easy. Sunny always instated that Benji was the life of the party and while that could be true, he had his quiet moments.

Artti shot a glance at his teammate. He tried to avoid the topic. Well as good as he could because they were literally watching the Olympics right now. Benjamin wasn’t chosen for team Norway. He wouldn’t fly in late like Artti was. It must sting. Sitting at home, watching the guys he was up against every other weekend compete at the most important event in their sport and not participating. It already stung for Artti, and he was only missing half of the competitions. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel for Benjamin. Especially since normally, under the old rules, he probably would be in Italy right now.

Artti cleared his throat and put his attention back to that screen. His boyfriend would be jumping soon. “The stuff for the Olympic never left the special suitcase so I guess yes.”, he responded. Maybe a bit too late.

Benjamin hummed. “Yeah, Sunny did that too.”

Just in that moment his boyfriend got on the gate. Artti instinctively sat up straighter. He could hear from the shifting on the couch next to him that Benjamin did the same. He swallowed hard. Artti knew that his attention should be on his boyfriend, but he couldn't help himself and watched Benji from the side. Kristoffer jumped far and Benjamins face exploded with awe. Fuck. Artti always knew that it was the most logical explanation, but he never saw it so clearly as he did now.

“I am sorry I took him.” It just slipped out. He didn’t think about it. He didn’t make the decision that today was the day to talk about it. It just happened.

Benjamins head snapped around. With sharp eyes he glanced at him. “What?

Artti knew that he heard him. That he understood it. He repeated it anyways. “Kristoffer. I am sorry I took him from you. I know you love him longer than I have.”

The Norwegian looked at him with big eyes. His cheeks were growing redder with each second; they looked at each other. The competition in the background was long forgotten. “I am not-.”, he tried.

It was an instinct when Artti grabbed the other one’s hand. “Its okay. I am not mad at you or something. You have more right to be mad at me than I do at you. As I said, you were first. If I was you, I would hate me.”

Benji closed his eyes for a few seconds. His long lashes laid on his cheek. “I could never hate you, Artti. And Sunny chose you; you didn’t take him. He loves you. How can I mad about that? You make him happy. He makes you happy.”

God help him. How on earth did Kristoffer and he deserve Benjamin? He was a saint. “You don’t have to be happy about it, do you understand? I would understand it if you weren’t.”

Finally, Benjamin opened his eyes again, looking straight into Artti`s. Artti swallowed hard. The intensity in the eye contact made something in his belly flutter. For a second he studied the Norwegians face and for a moment too long his eyes landed on Benjamins lips. Fuck. That was new.

Artti cleared his throat and tore his gaze from Benjamin back to the screen. The next group of men were already jumping. They missed the whole second group of women.

“It is okay, Artti. Really. You don’t have to worry about me.” The smile on Benjamins face was definitely forced but what was he going to do about it? He tried his best. It still didn’t feel like it was enough.

Sunny dropped the bouquet carelessly on the pavement somewhere in Predazzo when he spotted his boyfriend. He crossed the short distant between them with a few long steps. Before he could even register that he had his boyfriend finally back in his arms, his lips were already on his. The familiar feeling of the pressure against his lips, the acquainted scent and the known feeling of hands on his waist all made him relax in an instant.

“That is now my standard for greetings.”, the Estonian replied and gave him another quick peck.

Kristoffer shock his head and pulled Artti closer again. His arm fully wrapped around the other one’s hip. “That won’t be a problem.”

“But I would like my flowers.”, Artti said and pulled his boyfriend to the abandoned bouquet of tulips, leaving his luggage behind.

Sunny bend down and grabbed the flowers. With a smooth motion he got down on one knee and held them out for his boyfriend, who shook his head but smiled dearly at him. “Isn’t this a bit early?”, he spoke but took the flowers.

“Just a proposal for you take my flowers.”

Behind them someone cleared his throat. “Am I interrupting?” Marius raised an eyebrow in amusement. While Sunny rolled his eyes, Artti made the way over and pulled him in a short hug.

“Missed you too, dickhead.”

While those two exchange a few words, Kristoffer got Artti`s luggage. Thankfully it was only his suitcase and a bag with his ski jumping suits. The skis were already taken care off by Lauri. A small tote bag was hanging around the handles of the suitcase. Before he had even a chance to peak in, his boyfriend was back. He grabbed the bag and slung it around his shoulders. The Norwegian at least tried to not look too invested.

Artti who knew him better than most, picked up on the curios glance. “Oh, it is just from Benji. He gave me a care packet for the Olympics.”

Sunny blinked a couple of times. His best friend made his boyfriend a care packet. He should be thrilled about it. Thrilled that they got along so well. But something inside him stung with the realization. He didn’t get a care packet from his fellow Norwegian. It should be fine. He was here and Benji was not. That must be hard for him. Artti and they weren’t technically on the same team. Different nationalities and stuff. It must be easier for Benjamin to be around Artti right now. But still.

He must have made a face because Artti slotted his hand in Kristoffers. “You got one too. He wouldn’t forget you, you know that right?”

Sunny pressed Artti`s hand and nodded. “I mean I guess.” But the relief that flooded him would suggest otherwise. Why the hell did he feel like this right now? When he and Artti got together, his biggest concern was if Benjamin would get along with his boyfriend. He knew that Benny and Artti were friends, but a new relationship can change things. Pleasantly they only got closer which was a relief but now he wondered if they got too close. Not that he would think that Artti would ever cheat on him and not that Benjamin would ever get with a partner of Sunny. He knew that it was wrong to think like that but maybe it was because he always considered Benjamin as his. They were partners in crime since they were teenagers. The thought that Benji developed a similar relationship with his boyfriend made his stomach drop.

He felt a tug on his hand. Artti already moved in the direction of the Olympic village while he still stood in the same place. Kristoffer looked at his boyfriend who smiled at him. “Are you coming?”

Sunny nodded quietly. His gaze wandered to the tote bag that was still hung around Artti`s shoulder. He should be happy. He was at the Olympics. He already got a medal. His boyfriend was finally there. Finally, they could share the joy of competing at the most important competition in their sport. Why did he feel like something was missing. Why was the only thing on his mind, while he looked at his beaming boyfriend, this is not enough.

Benjamin collected them from the airport. Of course, he did. What else would he be doing? It was totally normal, he thought to himself while waiting for Sunny and Artti in the arrival hall. It wouldn’t be weird. Why should it? Because he thought about Sunny inappropriately? He did all the time, and it never got weird. Because he thought about Artti inappropriately?  

Benjamin shook his head. It was only because he and Artti started to hang out a lot. It was normal was what he was telling himself. Maybe it was because they both loved Sunny and they both knew that about the other one? The shared feelings bonded them?  

Of course, Benji had to spot Artti first. The blond hair shouldn’t stick out here in Norway but somehow it did. His pulse picked up. Who was he trying to convince? He was not only utterly and helplessly in love with his best friend, but he was also in love with his best friend’s boyfriend. Fuck that.

His mind told him to run but Artti already spotted him as well. The smile on the Estonians face made his knees go weak. He was so fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. And not in the way he wanted to be fucked.

Now he noticed Sunny too. He had a stupid grin on his face. “Benny, my boy. It really wasn’t necessary.”, the Olympic medallist said and wrapped his arms around Benji’s torso.

“Had to congratulate you in person.”, Benjamin said and discreetly took in Sunny scent. Two weeks without the other one was one of the longer periods they were apart in the last couple of years.

To his surprise, Sunny didn’t let go, only hugging him tighter. Over the shoulder he cached Artti`s eyes. The Estonian shrugged with his shoulder, but he didn’t look pissed or something. Why would he? Benjamin wasn’t a thread to him. Still, Benjamin carefully let go of Sunny.

Now Artti went to him and pulled him in a hug. It felt different then with his best friend. Not worse but different. Probably because he and Artti barely hugged each other outside an outrun at a hill. “Welcome back.”, Benji said just to try an ease the tension that was hanging in between them.

He drove them to Sunny’s place. His place was the nicest from the three. Originally, he meant to leave right after getting their luggage up the third floor, but they insisted that he stayed. So, he stayed.

Artti and he were on the couch, while Sunny hopped under the shower. Artti had already showered while Sunny and Benji got their luggage up. Wet hair was falling onto his forehead. “It is good to have you back around. We missed you.”, Artti said and got a bit closer on the couch. It could’ve been an unthought movement or on purpose. Benjamin couldn’t tell.

“I missed you guys as well. Did you have a good time in Italy?”

Artti cringed. “Come on, Benjamin, don’t make this harder on you than it has to be. You don’t have to pretend that you are fine with staying at home or fine with Kristoffer and me.”

“Can we not have this conversation again?”, Benji begged. He didn’t need someone to press the issues. He didn’t want to get the mental breakdown; he was just waiting to get.

“I just can’t stand the fact that you seem to supress all of your emotions. You can’t be that happy about all of this. And it makes me worry, okay? Because suppressing your emotions is never good in my experience.”, Artti put a hand on his shoulder and did the same soothing motion he always did for Sunny.

The worst thing was that Benjamin could see the genuine worry of his teammate. He swallowed hard. If only he knew how fucked up Benjamin was.

In the background the shower was still running so at least Sunny wouldn’t witness his crash out. He shot up from the couch and glanced down at Artti. “Okay, you want the ugly truth, you get the ugly truth. Of course I am not doing okay. How could I? I am hopelessly in love with my best friend who has this amazing boyfriend that I somehow also developed feelings for. So now I am not only in love with one person but with two. And both of them are taken. How could I be fine with that? Can we drop it now?”

When he finished his little monolog, he was breathing hard. He couldn’t bear to face Artti, so he turned around and let his hand glide over his face. Fuck. He didn’t mean to say all of this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He should really work on that swearing problem. But not right now, not when his life was falling apart in front of his eyes.

He should just go. They probably wanted him gone anyway. Benjamin raised his chin up trying to contain the tears that would start in a few seconds.

“Did you mean it? All the things you said?” Benjamin hadn’t registered that Artti had moved, suddenly he was just standing in front of the Norwegian.

His instincts told Benjamin to run but Artti realized his thought before Benji could even move. He wrapped his hands around Benjamins wrist, physically stopping him from running away. Until now the Norwegian hadn’t dared to look at the Estonian. But now he didn’t really have a choice. Artti`s eyes were big, his mouth slightly open. He looked bewildered but still something made Benjamin pause. Somehow, he spotted something soft in Artti`s blue eyes.

“I meant it. All of it.”, the words barely came out but Artti got them.

Artti`s hands let go of his wrist and for a moment Benjamin had the same spiral running in his head like he did thirty seconds ago. Then Artti cupped his cheeks and lightly stroke his thump over Benji´s jaw. “Okay. Okay. This is okay. No, this is good. Very good. I think at least.”

Now Benjamin was really confused. What the hell was good in this situation? Before he could ask that question a cough tore his attention away from Artti.

Sunny stood in the door, watching them with a raised eyebrow. He only wore boxers and there was still a bit of water running down his chest. Benjamins swallowed hard. That was the last thing he needed right now. “Am I interrupting something?”

Artti shook his head, his hands still on Benji´s face. “No. You have a perfect timing.”, he said and then he did something that completely broke Benjamins brain. He kissed him. Artti kissed him. It took a moment until he fully realized what was happening, until he reacted and kissed the Estonian back. His hand immediately found Artti`s waist. In his back of his mind something screamed that this was not right. That he was currently kissing the boyfriend of his best friend and that he definitely shouldn’t do that. But it felt too good to stop.

After what felt like an eternity Artti broke the kiss. Both of their eyes immediately shot to Sunny, who watched them with a neutral face. “What the hell?”

Artti rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it too. I was with you in Predazzo. I know how much missed him; how jealous you were when you thought he only made me a care packed.”

“What?”, Benjamin asked confused. His brain was still groggy from the kiss. What the hell was happening?

“I don’t get it either?”, Sunny admitted and folded his arms in front of his bare chest.

Artti let go of Benjamin and stepped between them. First looking back at Benjamin, then looking at his boyfriend. “Idiots. So, Benjamin has been in love with you since I don’t know how long.”, he spoke to Kristoffer, who then looked at Benjamin with big eyes.

He couldn’t help but shrug. “I don’t even know how long.”

“And then obviously we love each other but during my recovery Benji and I became closer and I fell in love with him too. And he is in love with me, I think.” Artti searched Benjamins face for confirmation, which he found when Benjamin slightly nodded. “I know you pretty well and I think you have feelings for Benji too. Maybe you don’t even know it, but I think you do. How could you not? Its Benji.”

Sunnys eyes wandered from Artti to Benjamin, who watched him already. He fully expected a decline. That he would say that they were only best friends. Nothing more. “How could I not.”, he said instead.

“You do? Oh god I think I have to sit down.” Benajmin lowered himself on the couch. This was too much all it at once.

Instantly Kristoffer was by his side. “Everything alright?”

He was only able to nod. Not trusting his voice.

“Great, so we all have feelings for each other. Glad that is clear now.”

“And what now?”, Sunny asked, sitting down next to Benjamin. They were sitting close together like always. But this time Benjamin let him self lean into Sunny. Just a bit.