d e l p h i a

Long time no post, which is my bad. But life happened and tumblr was...tumblr.

After thinking about it really hard the past few months, I think I’ve really kind of fallen out of love with roleplaying on tumblr and tumblr as a community. The past few years, I’ve really watched the RPC here become such a toxic and unfriendly place that really has very little to do with writing or roleplaying anymore. The bullying and peer pressure, and general attitudes towards fandom and how we treat each other have been really getting to be for a long time. To the point where it’s sort of warped my relationship with fandom as a whole.

As such I’ve decided I’m leaving, and I won’t say I’ll never come back, because I don’t know. But I don’t anticipate doing so anytime soon. I never fell out of love with writing or my muses, or the friends that I made here, and that matters too. I really will miss writing here with people and having a fun time with our characters, and it’s a shame that I can’t really find the joy in it very much anymore.

I’ll be posting the same notice on my other blog (@jxsontodd ), and if anyone is still looking for me or cares then my personal blog is @thesamestars my instagram is here (though it’s mostly just my cosplay) and my discord is queenkitters#5713. Anyone is welcome to track me down and come talk, I promise I’m not dropping off the face of the earth or anything.

So yeah, it’s been fun, thanks for the good memories.

xo

uh, i won’t be going to ‘school’ and no one can make me. even fake dad over there. 

tony wouldn’t call himself a bad teacher, but he has pretty much zero experience in the area. the idea of teaching four kids everything from their abc’s to fighting robots sounds incredibly daunting. had their tony felt the same way? he can hardly ask torunn that. honestly, it surprises him every day that these kids are as well-adjusted and smart as they are. ( it’s easy to tell himself that they got it all from their parents. )

“yeah?” honestly, tony is kinda surprised. he didn’t think he was doing that good a job of selling it. it’s not like there were many teenagers in this country who wanted to go to school, if given the choice. he just wants these kids to have the chance to learn and thrive.

he doesn’t know for sure but he thinks that the other tony would have wanted the kids to have these opportunities, too. 

“okay. how about i give you another week to think about it before i file the paperwork?”

this was a much larger issue than torunn had initially realised--because despite the now well over a year they had spent in this world, it had never occurred to her that they were going to be allowed to just...be ordinary people in it. that high school and college and being real people with real lives outside of working for SHIELD was on the table. a prospect as tempting as it was terrifying. 

“that...that would be good. i’ll need to...” sell everyone else on the idea. she thinks some will be easier than others--pym has always craved knowledge, but she isn’t sure an ordinary high school is prepared for the kind of intellect her little brother brings. azari is reasonable, level headed, he would see the logic in them going. 

james and francis were another story entirely. james might be persuaded, but somehow, she doubted francis would be.

@delphiia

Excuse him, he’s just going to throw himself at his sister and hug the breath out of her. 

“it wasn’t them!” he snapped, then swallowed, hard. “for one, we were goddamn chosen. we didn’t sign up for the rah-rah isle team, you know me. when in any of hades’ nine hells have i wanted to cheer for the good guys?” he shook his head, jaw clenching again. “this isn’t some kind of goddamn blame game. i’m not trying to say they know what the hell they’re doing, because they don’t.”

the boy gestured over at auradon, distant in the mist and fog, but still visible, lighted up like some goddamn carnival compared to the isle. “they have no clue what we need, and you know why? it’s because they don’t have people like us over there to tell them where the fuck they’re going wrong. that there are actually people here who need help, that we need basic necessities, and that shit’s not found in a fuckin’ prison colony.” 

he took a step closer, raising his hand to brush dust off the taller boy’s shoulder, taking the excuse, the opportunity that harry might not even realise he was giving him. “i ask for one thing.” his eyes were focused, resisting the urge to look at harry’s lips, though they were close enough. “and i don’t ask it to hurt you, man. i wouldn’t do that.”

“you’re gonna look me in th’ eye an’ tell me that school ain’t run by the people who set this place up?” jay made it all sound so damn easy, just leave, hand yourself over to live at the mercy of people who had never cared for their wellbeing, but pretended to. somehow that felt more insidious than the blatant disregard any of their parents’d had for them. at least they didn’t try to lull them into a sense of safety; they didn’t care, and everyone knew it. 

“they don’t know ‘cause they don’t want t’ know.” harry snarled. “’cause it ruins their perfect happy lives t’ remember the fucked up shit they had to do, an’ all the people they had t’ condemn t’ have it.” and maybe it was all more complicated than even that--the isle might not have been much but it was home, and auradon came with a whole new set of expectations, a whole life none of them had been prepared for, a life that required all of them become something else entirely. “an’ what exactly’s your boy king gonna say when i tell ‘im he should take down the barrier? what then?”

there was a tic in jay’s jaw as he sat back, as he simply just stopped trying to drag harry’s deadweight off the ground and stared at him, glared at him. “did i ever ask you to abandon them? jesus, harry. no, i’m not asking you to abandon – did you ever think that maybe, for a hot fuckin’ second, that i was asking you to come over there for –” he cut himself off, eyes flashing, pushing his hair off his face.

…for me? “for them? they listen to you, and you know that. uma would be in trouble if she went back there, so the next best bet is you.” 

there’s an annoyed grunt to follow as he’s unceremoniously dumped back on the ground--but shit, he probably deserved it. besides, there’s still enough rum in him that harry can’t bring himself to care either way, dragging himself onto shaky legs. “that is all you fuckin’ do. abandon ship in favour of greener pastures, and pretend those people who’re supposed t’ be welcomin’ us with open arms aren’t the same ones who orchestrated everythin’ fuckin’ wrong with our lives.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” The slight upturn of his lips is the only semblance of a smile he can bring himself to give her. Perhaps he’d bring up his actual concerns to her later, but it wouldn’t do anyone any good to try to force him to talk about his feelings. He turns back towards the stove, watching over the pancake batter with more intensity than entirely necessary. At least she’s still here. At least he can still wake up in the morning and make too much breakfast food for the team. For all of the team. The blond finally speaks again after a few minutes, flipping one of the now golden brown flapjacks onto a plate. “You think everybody’s gonna be up for group training tomorrow? I was thinking—” There he went thinking again. “We haven’t gotten any missions in a couple weeks, I don’t want anybody forgetting how to punch or something.” That was very unlikely to happen, considering they all trained individually almost daily. James just missed having the training dynamic with them all that he’d become so used to. 

bring her over, murder the vld rpc thanks

                “Both,” Noah answered, thought after a brief moment of thought. Maybe he didn’t go somewhere, but it wasn’t here or there either. He didn’t think he entirely stopped either, more like everything else did. Was it different for other ghosts? He couldn’t guess. “It doesn’t have a heartbeat, is it alive? I’m not and I don’t… What if the batteries run out? Will you replace them? Does a gnome run out of batteries?” What was a gnome? More importantly: could he get one to put in Ronan’s room?

       and like a thread being cut to open up doors,   break dams,   release the pandora box,   the goddess spills.   and there are words,   sharp and quick,   of a confession she clearly isn’t willing to share   -   at least not this much,  francis doesn’t think.   and it’s get confusing,  a little,  with so many information being poured so suddenly,   but francis is smart and resourceful;   his ears trained to pick apart something big and long to only the important parts.    and the important parts turned out ugly.   how repetitive   -   francis should’ve known,    truths are rarely beautiful.   and discovering how somebody close to you feel unwanted   (   by their own parents   )   are the most ugliest of ‘em all.     ‘    in the war…    there were a lot of kids abandoned.   i guess i was lucky.   or   -   it’s just entirely circumstantial,   but when dad could’ve just left me with tony,   he didn’t.   ’   at this,   francis’ fists curl   -   the gloves feel tight when he does it.

        ‘    but that don’t mean they mean any less,   y’know?    my dad defines me because i chose it to be.   i don’t mind living in hawkeye’s shadows,   as long as i can hold on to this glimpse of him to keep me going.    but those kids,   and you   -    your parents don’t have to define you.   you don’t have to be nothin’ but yourself.   you guys were always so strong.   i   …    i used to be so jealous of ‘em.    ’    francis smirks    -    but it’s sad,   pathetic.    ‘   guess now i’m jealous of you too.    ’

          she doesn’t know what she expected to come of telling him this--torunn knows she shouldn’t have, it is not his burden and she should ever have tried to make it so. but gods above, it hurts and maybe she wanted someone to understand. but they won’t. none of them will. they can try and she will appreciate it because she loves them, but sometimes their attempts feel a little too much like pity. ‘ he did it because he loved you. i can see it in the way you hold him in your heart. ’ it was strange to think so highly of a man she had never met--and never would. but francis was what tony might call and odd duck, and his loyalty, once earned, was boundless. in the face of that, how could she believe anything less?