beez

I have restructured the folders to make them easier to use and managed to add almost all languages requested and then some

UPDATE because apparently not everyone has seen this yet the new and improved version of this is a MEGA folder: https://mega.nz/folder/kQBXHKwA#-osWRLNCXAsd62ln8wKa8w

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2 days ago (3/7) I had to flee a situation in which a potential john attempted to sedate and falsly imprison me and have a pet animal perform sexual acts on me for his gratification. I had to spend money that I Did not and Do not currently have in order to flee the situation. This has shaken me in a way that has made function nearly impossible. I haven't eaten since the incident and have been self medicating in such a way that most would consider dangerous. My $1150 rent And my Light and Gas bills are past due. This is not Normal for me. February has historically been a very difficult month but I had what has been probably the most stressful, harrowing winter in years and I no longer have the energy to self advocate to the extent that I have had to. I have been placed in this position because mutual aid is proving to be an unsustainable and much too risky means of survival and I literally have nowhere to go. I have NO money no friends no govt assistance and have incurred the wrath of a lot of dangerous and manipulative people. my mental health is so poor that I'm constantly in survival mode. Nothing feels real.

I need people to Care. my life literally depends on it.

Please, PLEASE for the love of god HELP ME, SEE ME, SHARE THIS. I do not have any other options being disabled. Please give a shit about me. this us such a small amount that can be funded by yt ppl in a matter of Hours, Literally but it's taken months of begging to be chronically, desperately behind. I've been staggering and ready to throw in the towel.

please share PLEASE, GIVE! I KNOW IT IS THERE.

cash.me/$tomi1

venmo:tominova

HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY!! to all my trans sisters, brothers, and siblings out there, you all deserve happiness, peace, and love 🩷🩵🤍🩵🩷

and i think about how crocodiles have been around for way longer than that fingernail and how sharks have been here forever too and how there are sea cucumbers that understand time like an angel would; their ages so astronomically long that i get dizzy looking down into them. i think about my dog, and how i am so fantastically ancient to him (an impossible number, staggering) and how, at the same time, i can order my life in eras of pets-i-have-loved and how my childhood died when my cat did.

and i wonder if the earth does the same thing, if nature keeps time in epochs. if the tree in the house where i grew up said oh a new family and got upset when one by one we all left for college and left behind our climbing and screaming and birdhouses. that same tree collapsed during a bad storm this winter; heartbroken. the whole inside was a hull, shivering and empty. it missed our roof by a whisper, almost like it held itself together so it couldn't pass a hole into the house it's been looking into for years now. the people who took it away clicked their teeth. it was a hundred years old, at least.

there are things that went extinct in my lifetime. there are memories that don't extend to the tip of the finger. four years ago, for the first time: i saw a bald eagle in the wild. ever since they've been sprouting strangely in my life, their origami frames hunched in a racket of brown feathers. something in the motion of wild animals braced against the new england weather - like we all (all of nature, all of the fingertip) have the same shared hate when it's cold sorrow. like in years and years and years of history we never really evolved a better method than to close your eyes and brace yourself against it.

i saw a butterfly today, staggering drunkenly in the early spring air. it's too early for her other friends. i want to tuck her back into bed and say it's not your time yet! her life like a pinprick in my own. in butterfly school they'd have to stretch out their scales and say - at the end of your furthest wing is where you are in the life of a human. she is in my life, isn't she. something about how my heart seized at the sight of her, so brave and lonely and unfair; and how it snowed yesterday (and will snow again, probably), and how, in spite of that, she was out there and flying.

something about waking up this morning and thinking - i'm too old for this. how my hips and knees and back all make new noises. how the other day at a grocery store i picked up the gloves an older woman had dropped, how she'd laughed and thanked me - i can't bend down like you young folks anymore.