- lachender Tod -

This is not a happy story.

It’s one of the harder pieces I’ve had to write recently, though I think it has been worth it. It’s an AU based on a real event; suppose that during that fateful night of 1994, only one of them survived the oncoming truck. Suddenly faced with a grief that he is in no way prepared to accept, the one left behind begins to write a diary of mourning, hoping that something valuable will come of it.

But no one ever said that healing was that straightforward.

Thomas/Guy, Human!DP, with some heavily NSFW inclinations towards the middle and end. I wouldn’t say that there were warnings to state about this, per se, only some oblique drug use mentions and the fact that it is inevitably very depressing. But it is also a diary that attempts to explore the healing process; I am hoping that it will be of some comfort to those who have lost a close one.

Due to length it is hosted entirely on AO3. I will reblog this whenever there is an update. Multiple betareaders also are working on this fic, so just after each update small edits may continue to happen as their collective edits and suggestions are synthesized. Thank you. I am immensely grateful for your help.

The final part has been updated. This story hasn’t just been hard to write. It’s the most devastating thing I have ever written. I’m not sure if it’ll stay that way (probably not) - but please read at your own risk and leisure. I would like it if you could read it. It means a lot to me.

Much thanks to my betareaders: daftpunktrash / huggalittlefishy / deleuzianmachine / Manon (who does not want her tumblr published). Extended credits are in the afterword of the chapter.