Please head North

I am constantly tired and hungry. I hate food with a passion. I don’t fucking like it. I wish I wasn’t so picky or that my taste buds worked better. I wish I could eat that whole thing. It’s not that I don’t want it. I do, I really fucking want it. But apparently my body doesn’t. So I’m stuck feeling weak and sleeping my life away. I’ll try going out to eat multiple times a week, spending $100s, just to get something good, only for it to be not eaten or throw away. I want to die sometimes because of how much this takes away from me, it is so draining. And all I want to do is eat.

I only come on here to vent how much I hate myself/my life. I cannot even begin to put into words how awful it is being me sometimes.

For the first time in a long time I feel like nothing. I don’t want to die, but sleeping forever sounds good. Just want to feel something other than sadness and anger