( @acharlatanā)
Of course, Jackson remembers the night well. Head dazed by one too many vodka sodas and a heavy heart from yet another failed conversation with his ex. It was times like that he was glad to have a friend like Derek, he was someone he could speak to without fear of judgement, even when his rantings were beginning to make him sound like a teenager. āYou know what?ā Jackson challenged, if the topic were now open for discussion he may as well get it off his chest, āDid I touch your ass? Sure. Was it an accident? Absolutely. Did I leave it there a little longer than I should have, possibly? I didnāt know it was a crime, ok, for a straight dude to tell him best pal that heās got a nice ass.ā
Admittedly, it was nice that Neveās name could be spoken without opening up a therapy session which would both emotionally exhaust him and the poor person who had to listen. Itās not something you want to unpack again when youāre confined in an old chevy on a 20-hour drive down to Miami. Perhaps thatās where all the negativity should stay, up in Chicago and finally lay to rest. That used to be the beauty of moving around state to state in his early twenties, so many fresh starts that he hardly ever felt begrudged with his past.
āMaybe I would have chosen you if you hadnāt been so quick to say youād kill me,ā the retaliation was stated as a matter of fact. If it really came down to it, and he absolutely had to pick to sleep with any male, the probability of that person being Derek was far more likely than Gerard, Jackson just didnāt want to give him the satisfaction.
Jackson screws up his face at the idea of sleeping with Isaac, āI mean⦠all that sugar in his system, the kidās stamina has gotta be off the charts.ā Jackson signals to pull off the road and onto another, finally, the fields of infinite corn had come to an end, replaced with blue skies and fluffy clouds. āKill Benjamin,ā because if youāre going to kill anyone it may as well be the guy that caused your break up, āMarry Teirney and fuck myself. I donāt think I could marry me, Iām really messy and annoying and Iām definitely a blanket hog.ā He clears his throat, cracking open the window a little so that Bella would hopefully stop excitedly panting as she chews on his lucky dice, āAlright, last one, Alma, Damien and Benjamin,ā
The corn ends and is replaced by a typical small Midwestern town. Strip malls, dingy drug stores, chain restaurants and a cement-gray middle school, generic as Wonderbread and nearly as bland. Itās the epitome of generic, a carbon copy of a carbon copy. It shouldnāt strike any chords. And yet.
Derek knows this kind of town like the back of his own hand. This, not the bustle of Chicagoā this is the kind of country he was raised in, the place where his life started. Where every new day felt like an ending, every shift of his powers, from a tiny spark to the roaring fire that burnt down his family home. Where his dreams of a normal life burnt down with it.
He doesnāt know how long itās been since he left the safety of Chicago, itās constant noise and movement and keep-it-moving energy. Out here, itās like time has slowed down, compressed into nothing. The decade heās spent avoiding towns like this turned to less than the blink of an eye, and suddenly heās a scared teen again, his own fate out of his hands. It makes the whole shitshow of the last few weeks even worse to deal with, all the progress heās madeā joining the Jems, building a life for himselfā undone by one impulsive decision, and heās just as powerless as he was at 16, body and brain on fire.
Derek sinks a bit lower in his chair, trying to keep his eyes on nothing but the road ahead. His left leg starts to bounce, a nervous tic he hasnāt seen in a while; he crosses his arms over his chest, and tries to ignore everything.
āYeah, it is a pretty great ass,ā he says. It comes out flatter than he intended, and he ducks his head to look at his phone so he doesnāt have to face Jackson. He scrolls through messages without reading a word. āAnd youāre right about being a blanket hog. You sleep like a big, swaddled baby.ā
Derek doesnāt want to think about Damien right now. Sure, heād brought him up first, at the very beginning of the damn game. But that was before his mood took a turn. āUh,ā he mumbles, āMarry Alma, because I have standards. I donāt think I could handle Benjy in the sack, but Iām not into the whole office romance thing either, soā¦ā He makes a face. āCan I pass? Or kill them both?ā



















