no its NOT terrorism yes it IS art

Pein- metal

Konan- very young i mean cmon look at her-

Sasori- can wood age?

Kisame- 69 in shark years

Itachi- What? no- you’re not that young you can’t be what rhe fu

Kakuzu- as old as the fucking sun

Hidan- preschool application

Tobi- also preschool application

Zetsu- What.

I will attempt to remain unbiased but I cannot promise that my biases will not greatly influence my decisions with their ratings.

1) Pain

As our leader, I think he is very competent and organized.  I also appreciate the effort that goes into his aesthetic - the whole organization in fact. I do not know him enough personally to say very much about him.

All in all, I would say I give him a 3/10. 9 points down for insulting my math skills.

2) Konan

To put it bluntly, I have absolutely no idea what she does.

1/10 for committing to her aesthetic.

3) Kakuzu

Absolutely the only mildly respectable person in this organization. He also can understand my struggles with having to be assigned to such an insolent partner.

3/10. Points for being respectable but he does not have an appreciation for art. I don’t like that.

4) Hidan

Let us just say I appreciate whoever manages to kill him.

0/10

5) Kisame Hoshigaki

Hm.

0/10

6) Itachi Uchiha

Each time I see him he looks as if he is terrified. I do not know what of, but that is very cowardly move for someone who was strong enough to kill a whole clan.

0/10

7) ?

Nobody has told me his name.

0/10. Ugly shade of green.

8) Deidara

Everyday this stupid teenager torments me and wants to kill me he is evil and he does not appreciate me and he doesn’t believe in respecting his elders. He goes “Danna I’m tired of listening to you jabbering on about art and how it’s immortal I get your bullshit wrong philosophy you don’t have to drone on and repeat the same thing for the next 15 minutes” does he know how I have to live each day of my life? With him, a brat who doesn’t listen to true art and thinks that blowing up my puppets that I worked hard on for hours and days and weeks is “fun” and “artistic”? No, it isn’t. He still hasn’t paid me back for the puppets he’s ruined. I have a list of things he needs to pay me back for ranging from eyeliner to clothes to food because he didn’t have any money on him at the time while I, the responsible adult, in fact did. And each time I mention it? He dodges it. Then he asks for more money again. Deidara I don’t fucking care if you ran out of eyeliner or you’re going on a date with some boy who thinks you’re in fact not a missing-nin and a respectable civilian and you need to buy gloves to cover your hands with and money for the date or even your clay. I don’t fucking care anymore. My wallet is completely empty at this point and my paycheck doesn’t come in until next month. And, one more thing. I think that Carla Ray Yepson is a trashy artist and Deidara has horrible music taste. What good comes out of lyrics that keep on repeating about how they’re going to “make” most” “of” “the” “night” or “she” “is” “getting” “over” “him”? I don’t fucking care about her relationship problems or her allosexuality. He blasts it at full volume at 5 AM (when normal people, like me) are ASLEEP because he wants to watch the sunrise like some stupid hipster teen (which he, unfortunately, is). I want it to stop. I want Pain to accept my request to put Deidara on trial for execution in front of all the other Akatsuki members who also judge whether his crimes against me are valid. 

-10(NEGATIVE TEN!!!!)/10

That’s today?

Pein: bottom

Konan: bottom

Itachi: bottom

Sasori: has no ass (but would be a bottom)

Kisame: bottom

Hidan: no one wants to fuck him (but would be a power bottom specifically)

Kakuzu: pillow princess bottom

That snake dude: power bottom also

Plant boy: bottom (but be careful!)

Tobi: bottom

Are you

Are you okay

Pein: bottom

Konan: bottom

Itachi: bottom

Sasori: has no ass (but would be a bottom)

Kisame: bottom

Hidan: no one wants to fuck him (but would be a power bottom specifically)

Kakuzu: pillow princess bottom

That snake dude: power bottom also

Plant boy: bottom (but be careful!)

Tobi: bottom