My name is Josh (he/him/his) and I’m a student rabbi and Jewish Educator living in New York City.
Thank you so so much for your thoughtful and very thorough question. I really appreciate you reaching out to the Jewish community for some advice.
In short, no. It is not okay for a non-Jewish person to celebrate a Jewish holiday or perform a Jewish ritual unless they either (A) doing so in a Jewish space with or for the benefit of their Jewish loved ones or (B) doing so in preparation to convert to Judaism (and are working directly with a rabbi, cantor, or other Jewish person to help them on their blossoming Jewish journey).
I am not a fan of arguing that other people’s theological understanding of the world is incorrect as theology can be so personal, often confusing, and rather complicated. So I do not feel comfortable commented specifically on this Mormon theology that you pointed out. I believe that all religious beliefs that do not hurt another human being – or group of human beings – should be celebrated. But I will comment specifically on the appropriation of Jewish rituals and why this is an act of antisemitism.
There is a growing movement in the Christian world – not just within the Mormon Church – of folks who believe that they have a right or a privilege to celebrate Jewish customs and holidays. I have heard that many folks do it in the “name of Jesus,” or like in this case “because it is ‘our’ heritage.” Both of these points are rather disturbing when you trace the atrocities committed against Jews by Christians throughout history. Christians are responsible for so much Jewish pain throughout history and have absolutely no right to appropriate Jewish traditions. It is disrespectful, because regardless of how any non-Jew follows the “rules” one attempts to follow, it is still not their holiday, their custom, their heritage, nor their tradition.
This is all my way of coming around to say that you are 100% correct friend. And thank you for coming here for your Jewish siblings to reassure this uncomfortable feeling you might be feeling. I also agree with your statement that learning about other people’s faith traditions is important. Personally I love learning about Mormonism (if you have any fun articles, please send them my way!). You are in the right here.
I’d like to end by adding a few fun tidbits that I am sure that your father and his wife might not be thinking about. Every single Jewish holiday that we celebrate today is a product of evolution over time. Most Jewish customs as well are a product of a slow evolution– meaning that the Jews would have practiced in Jesus’ time, is sharply different than the Judaism practiced of today. As an example back in the first century, Jews were most likely having a debate about the custom around how many candles one should light– and in what order– on the Hanukiah (Hanukkah Menorah). Although Jewish Law states that one should light at least one candle each night, the custom has developed to light one light the first, two the second, three the third, and so on and so fourth. This is all to say that for the elites in the first century who practiced Hanukkah, they probably would not have lit the candles via today’s custom. (If it would be helpful, I’d be happy to make similar arguments about other Jewish holidays, customs, and modes of being Jewish!)
Ultimately friend, you are in the right here. Your gut telling you that this celebration is wrong, is totally on point. Thank you so much for bringing so much compassion to this really rather challenging issue.
