DEFYINGOURFATE - indie & private & highly selective
i’m 28 / she / her / CARRD
UNDER CONSTRUCTION

★

if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
d e v o n

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Show & Tell

shark vs the universe
DEAR READER

pixel skylines
dirt enthusiast
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Stranger Things

Kaledo Art
Mike Driver
trying on a metaphor
Today's Document

oozey mess
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@defyingourfate
DEFYINGOURFATE - indie & private & highly selective
i’m 28 / she / her / CARRD
UNDER CONSTRUCTION

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happy birthday silly wolf man 🐺💖
this blog will be under construction for a while. my mental health is in shambles and the last days have been a giant nightmare (hitting rock bottom, hourslong breakdown and crying). i'm tired, hurt, grieving and have no energy left to be here, or do anything at all at this point.
depending on the next few days, i might just leave it like that and disappear. maybe i'll come back, maybe not.
either way, sorry for those who i still owe stuff to. please forgive me for keeping you waiting and disappointing in the end.
i hope i will make a comeback with a new aesthetic and new energy.
until then, stay safe, take care of yourselves, and remember you're loved. always.
it's sinday, so i'll ask what question has been on my mind lately:
do you think kaku's dick is square or shaped like his nose?

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📎📎📎
MEME: THREAD WISHLIST
📎: Some """normal""" workday at the Galley-La Company; meaning a thread where there's total chaos á la TILESTONE or LULU. Let them roam free, just absolute chaos in every way. Gimme light hearted comedy threads. Or anything regarding the Galley-La gang in general.
📎: I am not far in OP and don't know much about Stussy as a character but I'd be very interested in her and KALIFA just bonding. The women in this wiener organisation need to suport each other, maybe they can even become friends? So yeah, just let them meet, drink a cup of tea together, get to know each other. To me, they seem like they would get along fine.
📎: ANGEAL getting to spend some time with Genesis or Zack without any catastrophies, just some mundane things. This man deserves some peace and quiet, being the mom of a group this weird is exhausting fr.
📎📎📎
MEME: THREAD WISHLIST
📎: I would love to do a thread where someone close to JABRA (Kalifa, anyone from CP9, maybe even Paulie or Iceburg in one of his AUs) helps him deal with all the rage he feels torwards Cipher Pol. Yes, he's loyal, but the way he's been treated, reduced to a feral dog you could put a leash on and make him do what you want (both metaphorically and literally) fuels a rage within him. That's a rage that keeps consuming him, as he has no other outlet than letting loose during missions that allow it. I wish I could make him talk about it to someone, even if it'll be hard to make him open up about it.
📎: Something with my all time fave rarepair NOCTIS/NYX. Shame that there are no active Nyx rpers, but I would absolutely give a kidney for having a thread with this pairing. I especially love love LOVE the tropes bodyguard falls in love with royalty or forced political marriage where they're not getting along with it at first but slowly fall in love along the way.
📎: BLUENO just shittalking with someone in his bar. Pure crack thread, idc let that man trash talk he was born for it. Also, he loves gossip, even if he would never admit it.
For every 📎 I get in my ask box, I'll post a thread that I want to do.
Not necessarily with the person who sends. Just a thread I want to do in general some day.
CP9 Joining + drabble ((all your cp9 muses))
MEME: DRABBLES
I know there are many people saying all members of CP9 are orphans, but hereare my interpretations of how Kaku, Jabra, Kalifa & Blueno got into Cipher Pol, or at least the rough ideas I have atm:
KAKU: Kaku's parents are both alive and well, but he never got the chance to get to know them. His father and mother were very young when they got him (between 16 and 17) and even though they were pressured to keep and raise him, they simply couldn't do it. His mother suffered from post partum depression and his father failed to kep a job for longer than a few weeks. Due to all of that, they decided they were in no way able to take care of a baby and abandoned Kaku, leaving him at some random dorstep in the middle of the night. That doorstep turned out to belong to a higher up CP9 agent, who took him in. Kaku doesn't know any of this, he'd been told his parents died long ago.
JABRA: Jabra was taken forcefully by Cipher Pol when he was 5. His mother died shortly after childbirth, and his father is unknown. He lived in a small village where the neighbors took turns taking care of him, all acting as a big family for him. One day, the village took someone in who was on the run from Cipher Pol, which resulted in the village being attacked and most villagers being murdered. Despite his young age, Jabra would scream at the men in black suits and even bit one hard enough to leave a scar - his courage making him a perfect candidate for the organisation to train. And so they took him with them. A few agents were bitten along the way, but they got a hold of him and shaped him into the asset he is today. That incident is also how Jabra got his scar, but that's another story.
KALIFA: Kalifa, unlike the rest, wasn't taken against her will or away from her family. Since her father is a respected member of Ciher Pol she had been born into the organisation. For her, there was never anything else. She didn't even know her mother, unlike her father who was ever present during each and every training session, but never treated her any differently than the othe children only because she is his daughter. Her sister Alpha shared the same fate, yet she and Kalifa never got along well. To Kalifa, family has no real meaning as she never managed to form any bonds with neither her father nor her sister.
BLUENO: Blueno had a rather troubled childhood. His mother had been chronically ill and not being able to leave the bed at all, which left him and his father to take care of everything. Blueno's father had been a strict man, yet he often went away for days leaving young Blueno alone with is mother to spend the night with other women. When Blueno's mother died as he turned 6, he was often left alone at home with no one to help him cope with his mother's death. and when his father was around, they'd fight, many times resulting in Blueno getting beaten. Not being able to take it, he ran away one night. With no goal in mind or any food at all he ran from town to town, stealing food to survive - one time stealing from a CP9 agent and getting caught almost immediately. That agent couldn't just leave the child on his own, so he took Blueno with him and made him join their training.
@bloodthiirst | continued from HERE
As soon as Lucci failed to match his stride Kaku could tell something was wrong. As the younger agent turned around, his suspicion was confirmed by the look in the other’s eyes. Sharp, but with a twist in them, like something close to HESITATION – something which didn’t fit Rob Lucci at all.
Kaku’s expression grew puzzled. They have known each other for their whole life - they had gone to hell and back during the days of their Cipher Pol training. All kinds of missions where shared where they saw each other in danger, injured and WORSE. After all this time, Kaku should have been able to tell the smallest changes in Lucci’s behavior. And normally he did, better than anyone – but this situation caught him completely off guard. WAS SOMETHING WRONG...?
Before he could even ask Lucci began to speak.
» Before we go, let me tell you something, Kaku. «
Okay, now that made his tension grew. What could have possibly been so important that the older agent looked so …UNSURE? Kaku didn’t like that look on him one bit, but nodded anyway to make him continue.
The confession that followed made him stand there SPEECHLESS. Never in all those years would Kaku have dreamed of this moment. Of Rob Lucci actually opening up about his emotions, of words coming out of the assassin’s mouth that may sound harsh to anyone else, but to Kaku they were sweeter than honey. Addictive, even, because he was the only one who ever got to hear them.
His heart began beating like mad, because Kaku no longer viewed the raven-haired man as only his colleague, but as SO MUCH MORE. Slowly but surely Lucci had stolen his heart conpletely. What started as some sort of stress relief had turned into a routine, before it got DANGEROUS with FEELINGS being involved. Neither of them had labeled it, because they never felt the need to. But deep down Kaku knew it was serious. Lucci didn’t screw around, and neither did he.
Their relationship deepened over the years, slowly transforming into LOVE that Kaku never thought Lucci capable of. But there was no denying it, they were inseparable at this point, the organization’s best working team for a reason no one else got to know.
And even though they kept it a secret, Kaku couldn’t feel happier about their relationship. He noticed the softening of Lucci’s eyes when he listened, the small gestures liken putting a hand on his shoulder whenever he noticed unease (Lucci absolutely hates touching people more than necessary, so the first time he put his hand on Kaku’s shoulder, the younger man wanted to SCREAM ). The tiny smirks when Kaku insulted Jabra, and many other things – small to miss for anyone else, but not to Kaku.
The further Lucci continued, the bigger the smile on Kaku’s lips got. Of course he already got an idea where this was headed, but it still all felt like some sort of dream. So when Lucci pulled the ring out of his pocket and proposed (or rather DEMANDED ), Kaku couldn’t help but LAUGH. The scene itself was so Lucci-like, especially demanding instead of asking, just how he liked him most. After all he knew Lucci, the raven-haired wouldn’t ask questions that he already knew the answer to, that was a waste of time.
Kaku reached his hand out to Lucci, giving him a silent permission to put the ring where it BELONGED.
» Took ya long enough, Rob. Y’know I can’t ever let you go. «
The sun continued setting, painting an absurdly ROMANTIC scene around them. Kaku’s cheeks started to hurt from grinning, and he swore he could even see the tiniest smile on Lucci’s absolutely kissable lips. Far too tempting to resist, so the younger one indulged himself and quickly pressed his lip’s on his FIANCÉ'S. Still felt unreal linking that word to Lucci, but if anything, Kaku was a very adaptable man.
» Now c’mon, you SUPER ROMANTIC kitty cat, « he said cheerfully, taking Lucci’s hand in his.
» Let’s celebrate this with a few drinks! Ya definitely owe me one for worryin’ at first, Lu. «

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Send me a word or theme and " + drabble " and I will write a dabble / one-shot surrounding the given word.
Bonus: if you include " ft. " and a character or muse name, it will center around an interaction between the two or a group.
` * 𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 : a mix of dialogue and action prompts. sent "+ reverse" to reverse the roles.
𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 :
➔ you're gonna be okay , just keep your eyes on me. ➔ don't move - you're going to make it worse. ➔ it's not that bad. ➔ you saved me once before , now it's my turn. ➔ you fucking idiot , you weren't supposed to take the hit for me. ➔ i told you not to do that! now look! ➔ you're lucky that i know basic first aid , or you'd be dead! ➔ stay with me, okay? stay awake. ➔ i'll be as gentle as i can be , i promise. ➔ you're bleeding - oh my god , you're bleeding. ➔ you told me it was a scratch , this is not a fucking scratch! ➔ there's so much blood. ➔ next time you want to play here , just don't. ➔ stop fighting me and let me help! ➔ you're banned from doing anything remotely dangerous. ➔ you could have died , what were you thinking? ➔ if you die on me , i'm going to be pissed off. ➔ you didn't have to be so reckless just to prove a fucking point. ➔ the wound will heal but you'll have a scar.
𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :
[ carry ] sender carries receivers muse to safety after finding them injured. [ stitch ] sender stitches receivers wound. [ hand ] sender holds receivers hand during a painful procedure. [ wound ] sender cleans receivers wounds with gentle and shaky hands. [ panic ] sender panics while trying to stop receiver's bleeding. [ patch ] sender patches receiver up using makeshift materials (i.e. torn shirt). [ fire ] sender drags receiver out of a burning building. [ pressure ] sender puts deep pressure on receivers wound while yelling for help. [ mouth ] sender gives receiver mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. [ change ] sender helps receiver change out of bloodied clothes. [ wash ] sender helps wash dried blood off of receivers face. [ shower ] sender helps receiver shower after an injury. [ broken ] sender tries to stabilize receivers broken limb with rope and sticks.
' are you embarrassed of me ? ' for iceberg from franky :')
STARTERS: STIRRING THE POT
» Don't be like that, Franky. Of course I'm NOT embarrassed of you, not per se — it's just the way you dress, walk, talk, behave and look sometimes, that's all. «
» ...is there really no way to convince you to start wearing PANTS someday? «
' YOU want to talk about loyalty ? ' for kaku from paulie OOP
STARTERS: STIRRING THE POT
» For such a clever fella you sometimes act a little too STUPID, buddy « Kaku mused with a small chuckle as his hands tightened the rope around Paulie's wrists.
» So let's make one thing crystal clear for you: I am VERY LOYAL, just not to you or your boss. « He glanced torwards LUCCI, who was busy barking orders around, and sighed.
» Though to be honest, I'm gonna miss our little after work drinks on thursday, Paulie... this all could've been avoided if you just gave us what we wanted in the first place. A real SHAME it came to this, it was foolish to defy the government like that. «
[ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [Jabra]
HEADCANON QUESTIONS
Aside from his trustworthy GOURD he always carries a pack of MATCHES with him. Why? Well, he doesn't really know it himself, but they might come in handy.
According to Jabra, you never know when you need to burn SOMETHING or SOMEONE, or maybe for an impromptu BBQ ( or BOTH, he's not one to waste fine meat. ). Whatever the situation calls for, it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

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[ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? - Kaku
HEADCANON QUESTIONS
There is a moment Kaku won't ever let himself forget: his FIRST OFFICIAL MISSION. Though he was really good at what he did, he was also very young, and way too full of himself. The mission itself went smoothly, until it all went south due to a mistake he made, resulting in Lucci having to save his life. Not only did it really hurt his EGO, but he also gained a nasty SCAR on the left side of his chest.
It never fully healed because Kaku NEVER LET IT. He never let a doctor look at it, and only those closest to him have ever seen it.
Sometimes, when he trains too hard or exhausts himself, it starts to sting, yet Kaku endures it. To him, it was a valuable LESSON to never overestimate himself — and never underestimate his enemies, no matter how harmless they look.
can i get you something to eat? –or drink? (iceburg to pyara)
STARTERS: MORBID CURIOSITY
» That is really kind of you, Mr. Iceburg, but I am fine, thank you. «
The food in this city really is DIFFERENT from what Pyara is used to. She remembers walking through the market with her husband, where all sorts of meat and fruits she's never seen before were dislayed. She could have stayed HOURS there asking the locals about this and that, yet they didn't have the time back then. Maybe Iceburg could help her out on this topic — after all, who would know better what this city has to offer than the MAYOR HIMSELF, right?
» Speaking of something to eat - do you have any recommendation for a LOCAL DISH? I haven't really been able to try something Water 7-esque yet... «