Definitions of Intimacy

“ You know, it costs us so much to remain divided. This zero-sum thinking, that's what's good for one group has to come at the expense of another, it's what's gotten us into this mess. I believe it's time to reject that old paradigm and realize that our fates are linked. An injury to one is an injury to all. You know, we have a choice. Our nation was founded on a belief in a hierarchy of human value. But we are about to be a country with no racial majority. So we can keep pretending like we're not all on the same team. We can keep sabotaging our success and hamstringing our own players. Or we can let the proximity of so much difference reveal our common humanity. And we can finally invest in our greatest asset. Our people. All of our people. 

Quote from Heather C. McGhee in her TED Talk “Racism has a cost for everyone”.

“So we can keep pretending like we're not all on the same team. We can keep sabotaging our success and hamstringing our own players. Or we can let the proximity of so much difference reveal our common humanity. And we can finally invest in our greatest asset. Our people. All of our people.”

Quote from Heather C. McGhee in her TED Talk “Racism has a cost for everyone”.

“ And the biggest lesson for me has been that [a man’s] prejudice has caused him to suffer. Fear, anxiety, isolation. And it's made me rethink many of the economic problems I've been focusing on my entire career. I wondered, is it possible that our society's racism has likewise been backfiring on the very same people set up to benefit from privilege? ”

Quote from Heather C. McGhee in her TED Talk “Racism has a cost for everyone”.

“ Racism leads to bad policymaking. It's making our economy worse. And not just in ways that disadvantage people of color. It turns out it's not a zero sum. Racism is bad for white people, too.”

Quote from Heather C. McGhee in her TED Talk “Racism has a cost for everyone”.

“ The good life is built with good relationships.”

Quote from Robert Waldinger in his TED Talk “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness”.

“You have to listen to one another. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully. He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply." 

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. We've heard interviews often in which a guest is talking for several minutes and then the host comes back in and asks a question which seems like it comes out of nowhere, or it's already been answered. That means the host probably stopped listening two minutes ago because he thought of this really clever question, and he was just bound and determined to say that. And we do the exact same thing. We're sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.  And we stop listening. Stories and ideas are going to come to you. You need to let them come and let them go.”

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“I kind of grew up assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing about them. And honestly, I think it's what makes me a better host. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed. You do the same thing. Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.” 

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“ Don't pontificate. If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.”

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. Again, assume that you have something to learn. 

Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't." I put it this way: Everybody is an expert in something.”

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“Don't equate your experience with theirs. If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don't tell them about how much you hate your job. It's not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. You don't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you've suffered. Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, "I have no idea. People who brag about their IQs are losers. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity. ”

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.”

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“If you don't know, say that you don't know. Now, people on the radio, especially on NPR, are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure. Do that. Err on the side of caution. Talk should not be cheap.”

Quote from Celeste Headlee in her TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation”.

“I was embarrassed that I couldn't rebound from what other people seemed to recover from so regularly.”

Quote from Dessa in her TED Talk “Can we choose to fall out of love?”.