soap sits by the door all night, ear pressed to the wood. he listens for anything- making sure that ghostβs not being unsafe or maybe heβll want to talk? but soap knows thatβs wishful thinking at the moment. he knows how his boyfriend is.
β βm right here for ya siβ¦β he whispers through the door, picking the now dried blood off from under his nose. silence. if soap couldnβt hear the soft, sometimes ragged breathing coming from the bathroom, heβd think ghost climbed out the window.
soap stays there. he sleeps there. he doesnβt leave simonβs side- even though thereβs a door between them. soap feels terrible. he shouldβve given him space, he shouldβve listened. thoughts swirl his head as his eyelids grow heavier.
ghost doesnβt sleep, how could he? his mind is stuck in what seems to be an endless loop of flashbacks of his father and hitting soap on repeat. he sees the shadow under the door and knows that itβs soap waiting there. in his mind, ghost begins to draft out his breakup with soap. itβs better this way after all. right?
ghost opens the bathroom door and watches as soapβs sleeping form begins to slide down the door frame. reluctantly, he gently slides his arms under soapβs frame, picking him up and placing him softly on the bed. their bed.
soap stirs, opening his eyes to see simon standing over him,
βh-hey,β he says, pushing himself up on his elbows, βdo you wan-β
βi think we should break up,β ghost cuts him off, his voice cold, yet shaky.
soap feels the air leave his chest, a bewildered look on his face. he just stares at his boyfriend, mouth hanging open, no words.
βno.β soap says, matter of factly
βjohnny pleas-β ghostβs voice wavers.
βno! why would you even- no! why would we do that?β soap asks, getting slightly frustrated, βno, you donβt get to break up with me! not after that, no.β
ghost places a tentative hand on his shoulder, βjohnny-β
βno, donβt you johnny me! why? why huh?β he says as he pushes ghosts hand off of him, feeling tears well up in his eyes. this just canβt be.
βi-i hurt you. i didnβt even- im just like my father. we shouldnβt be together.β he says, hanging his head.
soaps face drops, thatβs what this is about? how couldnβt he have noticed? i mean, he had a feeling thatβs what was going through ghosts head in the bathroom but soap never thought that this would be a reason to break up. he feels a single fat tear fall down his cheek.
βsimonβ¦β he whispers, reaching out to him.
to soaps surprise, ghost bridges the gap between them, sitting down on the bed next to him. soap gives him a look, as if asking for permission, ghost nods before pulling soap into his lap.
βit was an accident, βs not your fault si..β soap whispers into the crook of the others neck, tracing circles into the built manβs back.
βdoesnβt change anythinβ simon sighs back.
soap pulls away slightly, looking into the manβs eyes, βit changes everything. look at me, iβm fine si. βm not mad, not upset, i-i just want to help you okay? i shouldβve listened when you were upset and given you space. i shouldβve- handled it betterβ
ghost squeezes johnny a little tighter hearing this, βnot your fault, could never be johnny.β
soaps shoulders begin to rise and fall, he presses his face harder into ghosts shoulder. heβs, crying? ghost pulls him out of his neck and looks him in the eyes.
βi love you, i donβt want to break up!β he cries, effectively breaking ghosts heart. βy-you didnβt know what you were doing, that look you had, si you didnβt mean to! youβre not bad! i-i just want to be with you, help you!β johnny is on the verge of hysterics, he breathes in hard, steadying himself.
βyouβre not scared?β ghost asks,
βhow could i be?β soap answers, a loving look on his face.
and with that, ghost pulls them both down to lay on the bed, holding johnny close. the dread and guilt he had felt earlier have been subdued to a dull roar, allowing him to think a bit more clearly.
βiβm sorry,β he says quietly, stroking johnnys scalp lovingly.
βi know, donβt be.β soap says, settling further into his boyfriends grip.
βi-i didnt know it was you,β he says, barely above a whisper. hes embarrassed.
βi know, and weβre gonna work on it. βm always gonna be here for you, ya big lug. wether you like it or not.β johnny says softly, βi love you. i always will. no matter what.β
βi love you too,β ghost says, a sense of relief washing over him.
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