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1. “Christmas stress” seems tough, but also seems like what brown kids deal with every family or community get-together, because we treat everything like a damn feast. Women, and their daughters who “are young and can do these things” cook, clean, entertain guests, watch children - for upwards of 20 people sometimes every weekend. Seems like something we should realize if the “stress” is noteworthy enough for others this time of year.

2. I am literally sitting here printing ADHD articles every damn week because my mom and dad, two physicians, don’t have the frame of mind to realize how much it actually affects my life - and therefore their lives, because they depend on me so much, which makes it even harder. I got diagnosed and I get treatment but that’s not the end of having ADHD and I am so tired of ignoring it or hiding it for their nonsense reasons. I need their help and their consideration, and you’d think that would come easily since it’s their job to do so for literally thousands of patients.  Or I need to get out of their house, like the “forgetful, ungrateful American” they think I am. 

3. I’m sorry for letting a lot of people down. But I’m fixing as much of my life as I can and it’s a really challenging work in progress. I’m finding amazing resources that prove that I’m not just the shitty shitty person I blame myself for being, that I have a disorder that causes the problems I deal with everyday. I just feel bad about the collateral damage. I hope it isn’t too much. I love my friends and family a lot. I’m sorry I don’t always show it effectively enough. I just don’t have the strength all the time. 

4. I feel weepy now. I think I will curl up in a little while.