koko ⛧

treating tumblr like a diary but it’s ok because some people out there use chatgpt as a therapist so it’s whatever

bipolar depression is so difficult because one day you feel on top of the world and that everything’s gonna work out just fine, and the next everything kind of just crashes for you emotionally

everyday feels longer and i feel so tired of being alive sometimes. i feel like id be more happier if i had something to do day to day besides educational work. my urge to take my life grows worse everyday and i want to fight it bad to stay alive for the people that love me, because i would be selfish to do that, but it’s so hard

and it’s harder finding reasons why i need to stay alive, i can’t take it anymore but god i have to stay strong but I really can’t take it anymore im so tired. . . i have access to a lot of stuff in the house that i shouldn’t, and the urge to use them is worse. I don’t wanna go to the psych ward, it sucks. And im so tired of “needing help,” I feel like a burden . .

I can’t help but compare myself to the things the people I love likes, I always feel like im not enough or that im not their type if they take a liking to a person I look absolutely nothing like